Breakingthewall

@ethanb121 the problem is not hell but obsession disorder. I have lived like this with 17, 18 ... Every morning I woke up and the madness began. If it's not hell, it's whatever. It is your mind that needs to hold onto something. You are in no man's land, without certainty of anything, without knowing who you are, without anyone who loves you, without anyone you love, without a place you can call home, without anyone you can call a friend, floating in not knowing , but with a need to know. So your mind holds on tight to anything If it is not hell, it will be that you have an idiot face or that you played badly at table tennis in. the important thing is to sink your teeth into something and not let go. the solution? is not easy, but possible: conquer the world

Separation

you're going deeper. more clarity, more intelligence, more integrity, more openness. good job

well, a special factor comes into play in porn addiction. the sexuality. You can quit smoking, but you can't stop being sexual. If you try too hard, you may end up reaching out to altar boys in the church. watch out! sex is sex and you have to guide it appropriately. that is, sharing it with another human being, who attracts you, and whom you love. It does not have to be an exclusive one, of course, could be many. So it is not enough to leave porn, you have to go out into the arena, give to Cesar what is from cesar. Or if you won't rot your mind back in the old patterns

yes, you have to avoid becoming competitive. but doing the best possible in an activity suposed competitive without becoming competitive is a great mental exercise. Or what did you mean?

make it your goal to give your all

If you learn a sport or physical activity at a master level, with passion, and tune your body as if it were a musical instrument, your feeling with your body will change. It will seem to you that you have at your disposal a wonder of creation, and you will treat it as such

Surely you are right, i can see that you know what you are talking about. it is a delicate matter and there is no universal solution. I have the tendency, like many, that if something is wrong you have to fix it immediately. that may work, or perhaps have the opposite effect as desired. each one has to assess and decide, but it is good to know that these options exist

If you take a moderate dose, the bad trip will not be so much. I have had it, when 18 with lsd, 12 hours suffering in my room. there was only mental suffering, every second. then It stops, and that's it. made me open my eyes to my life situation and be able to change it, that's why I recommend it. I know it's not the magic pill of happiness, but can be revolutionary

being in that situation, why do you refuse to try psychedelics? We have already talked about it other times. I really do not understand. watch the magic medicine documentary for example. If they don't work for you, then you've wasted a couple of days and that's it

I would try a medium dose of mushrooms, 2 or 2.5 grams (dry) being alone . They can open doors in your mind on a level that I consider magic. And the worst thing that can happen to you is an unpleasant time. I procrastinate a lot to make mushrooms, it is lazy to get into that, but every time I do it I get benefits, openness, liberation.

nothing would happen, since you are neither cat nor human, you are reality dancing

much more quality of life as reality becomes deep, magical. the conceptual is left behind more and more and in its place there is reality, substance. It is like having lived in 2d and then doing it in 3d. there is no longer constant resistance to what is. you become an observer of yourself, without fear. You go from swimming against the current to letting yourself be carried away by the current. you melt into the fluid of reality, since you are that fluid. In short, you go from having a shitty stressed life to being happy, like when you were a kid.

@Bacher incredible report, I was feeling the panic of the dissolution without reference as I read it

I'm in the process in the sense that I can't quite forget my father, feel something deeply negative and sad in my life, i hope i can find the way in this. but in the sense of self-esteem yes. there are no traces of feeling "worse" left, no compensation for feeling "better". I can see others as brothers totally. It has cost me a lot, when they put a programming in your childhood, it is difficult to reverse it, you have to go deep When i said to go further in hard things, i was thinking they are healthy, even you haven't any problem. the hardness, the difficult, the austere, it makes you cleaner, or so it seems to me. in the end it makes life happier

I've had that problem for as long as I can remember. As a child it did not affect me but as a teenager a lot. my father was: I am special, magnificent, God loves me. but you are worse .God does not love you. you are shit. Since he did it full time, he did it well. many people believed him, which reinforced the role. The bad thing is that it is stressful and to take away he was an alcoholic, addicted, he vomited after every meal, he did not sleep ... he died very young. When I realized I was in trouble, I had to get very serious. my instinct told me to look for the hardest, the most extreme hardness possible. that that was what i needed. I did it, I keep doing it. I could have gone further. Maybe it will go further. not everything is meditation, psychedelics or therapy. you also have to go down to the sand

you have no control, since you are just an idea, a fiction. the you who thinks he is trying to understand is a compendium of memories, attachments and rejections, ideas and concepts without any reality. you do not exist. you do not suffer. you do not want. you don't reject. you are not dysfunctional, nor functional. you're just an idea. it's hard to admit it. If you remove that you, what it is remains, without judgment. what it is is indefinable. the definition is you. and there is no definition

there are infinite illusions, but they are just that, illusions. Illusion are the truth, but seems a lie, that's all. Appearance. Seems that there is you and me, my phone and my hand. Born and die, time. And really seems that. My phone and my hand are a though. Born and die is a though. You and me is a though. The Truth is the same without the differentiation that the mind does

"I" am infinite. infinity can hardly be limited to an "i", so I prefer to see it as a "we". I suppose it could be an "i", but an "i" suggests loneliness, and infinity is not alone. loves himself with infinite love, and accompanies himself infinitely

Yeah but relative seems different than absolute. Seems. that's why I called it illusion

friend, you have a long way to go, to arrive ... where you are right now. It is a strange story, an epic odyssey. the reality is that you are already where you want to go. that is, you are, there is nowhere to go. But you have to drop tons of shit until you realize it, and that takes a process. good luck with it. Strength and courage

in the relative sense, no. we were born at different times. but the relative sense is an illusion. in the absolute sense, we were never born, time does not pass, we are. now, always, it's the same

many people are spiritual to affirm their ego: they want to feel that they are deeper than the "normies", that they know things that only a select few know. exactly the same as those who believe in conspiracy theories

The easy solution, the one that most applies, myself included, is: get strong. Is your ideal of how you should be? Get as close to that ideal as possible and you will be happier. it is true in a way but it is a patch, and a surrender to social pressure . You say you don't blame the world, it doesn't cause your problem. Well, it does in my opinion. the reinforcement of how you should look to be correct, and how incorrect (unworthy of love) you are for being far from that archetype, appears every day, especially in adolescence. we want to be completely free of all that. It is very difficult, it is like swimming against the current. Like to be gay in saudi arabia. imo you have to understand that you are fighting against the system, if you don't perceive the pressure of the system, and how it affects you, you will be crushed. But honestly, I'm far of win this fight

@JonasVE12 very good answer, you look like a professional, psychologist maybe? although most psychologists do not understand things in a deep way. I have struggled with shame, I know where it comes from but it is a difficult virus to eliminate. I've apparently removed it completely, but I always find a tendency to hide things. I fight against it and am a kind of truth taliban, because I know the price of falsehood. usually this kind of attitude is a gift from your parents