Breakingthewall

Probably right. Well I feel stupid for writing about it again. I have to integrate, meditate and do 5 meo again not far in the future. That's it

Its what I experienced. only was the nothingness, and me. I'm the only being that exist, alone, in the nothingness, in the eternity of the no time. I didn't see any imagination, only the nothingness, the absolute lonely. When I hadp pass to this world again, I felt: it's horrible, I'm god , and god is alone and can't escape of being god. Could god be like "desperate" or anything negative? Could god be triying to forget that is god and is alone in the nothingness? There was no love there, only nothingness, eternity. That's why my experience was so bad. I was god, and I don't want to be conscious that I'm god, because I'm alone in the nothingness. Wasn't love, only void. Now I don't feel good, I'm trying to accept the nothingness, to live again that void, but something inside me impulse me to do things, to meet people, to drink, to stay far of the void, difficult to sleep well or being alone. Well only was 2 nights ago. But now I remember clearly the void. Wasn't horrible by itself. The horrible was just when I pass to here. I felt oh no, I'm prisoner of myself, no escape for the eternity. Maybe I'm creating that illusion to forget that horror

True, but repressing the ego have a price. The ego have a function, without ego you can't manage in the material world. Fortunately nowadays it's another way to reach the true, another tool: the psichodelics

It's your decision my friend. If I were you I'll wait some years to start with this...but I'm not you

If you are so negative about life as you said, really you have nothing to loose...so start a psichodelic therapy, hard level

In that moment, wasn't anything to try , wasn't "me" but I think you are right, I only scratched the surface of the death, let's see next time. Thanks! Im optimistic despite that experience, and your words help, sure they are true. It's more to see there, go deeper

@Exystem i just read your experience about the void. It's more or less the same. A void without nothing, dead, eternal and without Scape. What psichodelic was? What did you do after that? How to integrate? You said in that post that after that enlightenment was a jocke. That's I felt. Why to enlighting? If I'm here, as illusion, is because I didn't want to be that void, that's why all this illusion exist. Because the void want to forget that its a void. But if "it" wants anything, it isn't a void.... maybe better rest a bit....

I think now I understand what happened. I went to the void but my ego was with me, no words or thinking, but wasn't a total ego death, and my ego felt horror and repulse in contact with the void. Thanks to all of you for the therapy. Leo , I will listen your advice and change the roa. Vape is too short time

Yes, I will continue for sure. It is the most interesting thing that I could imagine. I know that that ideas about explore, development, go further, are egoic, I have a huge ego who wants more, and more. Let's see if the psichodelics can make him sleep a bit, without them will be impossible

Yes of course, sure my ego was there feeling the horror of the not being. He comes with me through the breakthrough. In that moment I was like dead, no thought, nothing, but who was feeling : I hate this eternal grave? Ego. Really I know that it wasn't going an easy way for me, it's going to be a process

@Exystem i didn't experienced terror. I was in the void, and I was the void , and the void was dead, eternal, a infinite grave. I didn't like to be the void, but I was it and there wasn't escape, because was eternal

It's the best show of understanding that I never read

Thank you for that, I drink of that words like the man who is going to be executed ask to the priest about the paradise haha. I didn't experienced but I want to believe, because if it's only that void....what a business. Is it normal to have a breakthrough and the other side is all except nice?

Did you realised that with 5 meo or any psichodelics, meditation or how? Thoughts are something, but his substance is the nothing. So at the end all is built of that substance, the nothing. But how the nothing becames in something?

I am the void creating an illusion because I don't want to be the void, but at the end I'm the void for all eternity, that is that I saw, and wasn't nice. But it's a nonsense because if I'm the void creating anything, I'm something, and the illusion is something too, as a thought is something, not nothing

Yes but when I was the void I had like the sensation, or perception , that I want to escape of the void, but I can't because I'm the void for the eternity

That is.

Anyone knows how to remove the quotes put there by mistake? James123, I think you are talking about the exactly thing that I'm talking. How to accept that void, that nothing? But that you said is a contradiction. You are only one and are alone, because you are nothing. I perceive that, but if I perceive, was someone there, not void. In the void was me, perceiving

Exactly, that is. And when you realize that, and you became the nothing, the eternity, without god, without conciousness, nothing....isnt it horrible? Dead? Empty?

5 meo dmt free base, bougth online , i tried some times before, with interesting effect but never a breakthrough with total ego death. I read here in the 5 meo forum a guy who explained that he smoked first 5 mg, after 5 more, and after more. I did 1 of 7 mg, and after another small, and after maybe other 6 or 7...and the explosion happened, and I was in the void. I don't think the 5 meo was bad or anything, it was absolutely real experience. Infinity, void , nothing, eternity....but empty

@James123 but the silence is ...dead Yes it helps...the void is only a stage, not the end. But wasn't only the silence, was something perceiving the silence, being the silence

Welcome? Now I'm almost like that guy in matrix who regrets to choose the blue pill!...but I cant live without go deeper. Let's see how is the next visit to the void that I am. For now I feel I'm nothing, empty, an illusion, not I'm god pretending being me, only nothing, no god, no me, only illusion and void

@Bulgarianspirit well, all the spiritual traditions say that that void is pure love, etc... let's believe that they are right and I'm wrong! For now I have to live with the image of a void that is only a void, no conciousness, no love , only nothing

The breakthrough was easy and the dissolution was beautiful, good feeling....but after, the void was all except good. Integrate that I'm a void that don't want to be a void, and can't escape of be a void for the eternity? . Well, no choice. I'm thinking now that was the ego who felt horror of the void, but when I was, only was the void and the horror. Anyway,Thank you for read me and answer , at least it's that forum to explain myself to people who understands what I'm talking about. it's a huge help now.

Yes, now I feel totally normal, I could do anything, good mood etc, but...I have a sensation: i saw the deep reality, and it wasn nice at all. The only way for me is go deeper...but not today