Breakingthewall

It is difficult to embrace the reality that you really are infinite nothingness, but it is so. nothingess uniform, no accidents, flat, pure, timeless, perfect. which also means, without a doubt, that nothingness is

Holiness is when you let yourself go completely, there is nothing left of the individual, you are a servant of the infinity, that is, of yourself, without ego. with the same joy you accept dying of hunger as living comfortably, or working for others. you give your earthly life with joy, you are fully enlightened, full of god

I really understand. Not so different happened to me not far ago...well without divorced, but with relatives and many friends. there are some behaviors that are impossible to maintain. Congratulations on having come out of falsehood and into integrity. being completely honest is priceless, it is essential

Great . Be fine with that isn't easy, be strong is necessary. But you don't need to show that you changed, you have another vision of reality, etc. When you "go up" a step in your consciousness, understanding of the ego, suddenly you see the games of others as something obvious, you wonder if they are the ones who have changed and not you. But it's possible to handle it and not make them uncomfortable (well if they aren't really egotic like a couple who needs drama of course) I think there isn't a thin line between spirituality and Madness. Maybe the people around thinks that you are mad, but not you. And it's easy to shut up and let them be

Of course , the secret is "only" that

as buddha said, the problem is desire. When for you it is the same that you are sentenced to life imprisonment in an Iranian prison, or that you have a trip to Micronesia with the girl of your dreams, then you can understand that something = nothing and see God. If not , to take psychedelics, and try to have any insight

Nothing=something something=nothing Do you understand? I don't. Some moments, in meditation, I got it. Yes , obviously, I'm a shape, all that I am is shaping the nothing, a shape is the same to another shape, suffering is the same than joy, shape is the same than nothingness. But in the moment that you analyze it, you loose, there is not logical in that

The vertigo of empty death. I have just been at death's door but I have not died. The horror of the dead void. There is nothing. Nothing, it opens before you, dead. Nothing dead, without escape because it is infinite. Infinite death Guys, I can say that in my specific case it takes courage to continue with this. I've been a serious rock climber, glider, sailing alone, Atlantic Crossings, etc ... all those kiddie games. Infinity opens before me. And once again I see that it is eternal death, unimaginable, unthinkable, beyond horror. And there I have to go, my whole life has been a preparation. I have to dive headfirst into horror. Nobody has an idea, no matter how much you meditate, no matter how enlightened you may think, what I am talking about. For me 5 meo is like that, and only I exist. Maybe for others this is child's play. It takes more courage for me than a firing squad. The shot does not know what awaits him, I do, the horror of non-existence. But how is it possible not to exist? Now everything is blurred, the emptiness, ah of course, what the mystics say. it's pretty deep down, liberation. Yes yes, the horror. Today I go back, to see if God, I , as they say (I don't see any god) allows me to die completely this time. Or if not tomorrow. The total, real, absolute, empty, death. You can't imagine the horror, the infinite. Well, as it supposed it's the door of enlightenment, let's go. And I don't want to live with the fear of that infinite horror. Dear friends, the 5 meo party is waiting for all of us

@abrakamowse @abrakamowse Great, thank you! I will read, I already read the first text many times. It's surprising that people can go so deep without any chemical help. Seems Impossible. Maybe you are one of them. the text explains the whole void thing very well. which is really the matter of enlightenment. As you said, it is surprising that in the books on spirituality almost nothing is said about this.

@abrakamowse the greatest thing that I ever read . I truly say thank you.

stop shouting peace to each other !!!?

Thanks for read and understand, I really appreciate, I erase that history that I wrote before, irrelevant. The thing is to let it go, light, forget the weight of the histories. That infinite void is the fire of purification. It's great that I found, if not, I will be for ever a stupid sad ego

Hey, I just woke up at 4 am and I really think it is impossible to dare to go to infinite death. It is the most horrible cosmic horror. Much better if he could just die, not go to the eternal grave without escaping. My heart beats, no one can help me with this, my god, it's going to infinite hell. Did anyone have to face this shit? Maybe it's normal for everyone who tried 5 meo, it just takes more doses, but go there ... hahaha what a horrible unimaginable horror. The taste of death. It is infinite and there is no god there, just get lost forever in the infinite grave. Bah is fear, my fear and nothing else. Fear of infinity. But fear ... fear. I'm trembling friends. It is nothing that is possible to handle. If I surrender to this it is more than giving my life, it is' s I surrender my soul, more than everything. This is not a game no. I was never really afraid of death because I was never there, but now I was and I saw that it is infinite. The only reason to go there is because I know I have to go when I am really dead, so the cosmic infinite tomb is waiting for me. Empty. edit: well I know what is that fear and the answer: I have to go naked to the infinity. There was a small piece of me with me. Even a 0.1% of me can't go in. I have to humble my self and surrender my soul to the infinite nothing. Wtf. It's infinite. If were only a torture room of the middle age, ok, but the infinity ... I'm impure and I ve to purifier myself to go in the eternity. I hope I don't get sick or crazy if I go to that horror too many times. But it's normal, who said that to know God is easy? Fast food god? Only an hour in the middle of the day, enough to realize God? Well stupid, go in a tour for the infinite grave, maybe you learn a bit of respect.

Do you mean that the death, the void, isn't real, itsnt it? It's the absence on mind activity that creates the appearance of infinity, eternity? But at the end it's real in a sense too. Seems the most real thing I ever saw

Maybe 5 meo is the key for you too. It's the door of death Who knows, its possible that we can. Until we are in the truth, for me better not imagine. I have some realizations over all in the middle of the night after a 5 meo experience like I told. Was like: yes it is, but if you try to grab, the light get off. It's a place to stay, but if you leave, it's lost. Sound beautiful to accept the nothing like james123 said .for me it is an obligation. I am a miracle of existence, like all humans, and I find it a shame to waste who I am in shitty thoughts, I want to be what I have to be

Yes , that's why I keep going. Sure there is more to see. And the death is fascinating, even it's the most scary. Completely unimaginable

There is nothing to think, only increase the dose. It's not a work that I could do without 5 meo

You call it nothing, but same time singularity. And you remember it so you was . For me nothing is different, you are talking of a nothing that is, so god, the same than the spiritual masters said. Well, let's see if the next time.

Could be, if I'm facing that horrible shit again and again it's because I want to accept too, seems Impossible but more impossible is to stop

Ha ha and ha. Maybe you can't understand what I'm talking about. There is nothing, absence, you aren't there, no thought, no mind, only the perception of the nothing, but the nothing reveal as infinite, there are no words for it, and suddenly a certain: death, eternal void, zero, off, bye, let's die! For the eternity. No one is there to think anything that could be learned. Is your primordial being, before the words, facing the infinite void, where is nothing, and there is no escape. You are no thinking there, only a realization exist: horror This is the 5 meo party for me

The definition of absolute terror

Yeah, the ego wants to get better, the wonder, etc, but if you do 5 meo there is no way to control it , and without this work is almost Impossible for most of people. I wanted the wonder too and I found the infinite death ??

Now I have a great sensation, like...infinite, incredible...but Everytime I was there I remember another sensation not nice at all: death, absolute absence, horror. Maybe if I go 100 times to this terrorific infinite at the end im going to love as you said

What do you mean? That I read or listen of Leo is more or less that enlightenment is to realize that you are god, and God is nothingness, and same time everything, so the same that you are saying, or the same that all spiritual masters use to say

He looks very healthy and strong now. And in the pictures where he looked older maybe with a good hairdresser he d look better. But it's true that many enlightened masters died young