Breakingthewall

accurate and subtle perception imo

people are sad because they are smart. only idiots are happy running after the carrot and trying to fit in. sadness makes it necessary to look for an alternative and the alternative is liberation

I would say that you have to build a strong ego because then you have to deconstruct it, and to do that you are going to have to overcome one obstacle after another. your ego moves with the inertia of the collective ego, forged in thousands of generations. it is very easy to get carried away by that current, so you need an ego capable of following its own path and believing in itself to start deconstruction

Yeah I Know it. I try to remove the lie from me, and I realize that behind one layer of lies, there is another. and all generate resistance. Now I think I hardly lie to myself, but two years ago I believed the same thing and from now on I realize that I had tons of pretense, half-truths, resistance, so I suppose that in two years I will think the same as now. the ego is a difficult labyrinth, because it has the capability of to hide things to itself

well, ultimately it is. Degree makes quality. I would say that the characteristic of the narcissist is that he has lies at his core, while a non-narcissistic ego uses lies, but does not need to believe them himself. that is the difference in quality. but at the same time it is also of degree, since the ultimate nature of the ego is the lie. its existence is a lie. then, an ego that uses lies like trump and does not believe it, and admits to himself without problems that he is a son of a bitch, would have a lower grade than one who also needs to feel integral and lovable, morally superior. what happens is that the degree barrier between these two ways makes a great qualitative leap. the narcissistic ego will go into crisis if pushed. the non-narcissist will laugh in your face. The non narcissist has the possibility to trascend itself because he can face itself. The other, looks impossible except with years of intense suffering

@Razard86 thanks! I also enjoy your posts. what I see is that the problem with trauma is that it generates anxiety in the long term since it opens a gap between what it is and an imaginary should be. this gap is pure anxiety. in my experience it is impossible to equalize the two tracks from the ego. the ego looks for strategies to get rid of anxiety but what it does is hide it. there is still a dull anxious vibration in the background, since the ego in the background is what it should be. the only thing that has worked for me is the realization of infinity. It doesn't mean that there is no longer anxiety, but every time I realize infinity, the should be disappears and the tracks get closer.

Imagine the reality for a fetus. or what is the same, imagine that they cut a cable from your brain and disconnect you from your senses, and then they erase your memory. what would you be? according to the ego's point of view, you would be nothing, a vegetable. something without capacity or characteristics. but you really would be everything. unlimited. Out of time or space, infinity. every attribute is a limitation.

Well, you could say: the truth is the infinity. It's an idea that point the truth, but it's not the truth, because you can't imagine the infinity, you can realize it if you dissolve the limits that the ideas are.

you have put dams on the mind to become a survival machine. to survive you need to be integrated into the collective ego, so since you learned to speak you have been shaping yourself to become a piece that fits in a puzzle. you have (we have) fear of the unlimited because we are made to our golden cage. infinity is freedom, but it is indefinite. becoming used to it and flattening the mind to flow is the goal of spirituality imo

Many people are in a relationship like someone who has a job: they need it but it's a pain in the ass. they need stability, to mean something to someone, to be loved and to love, but they also want to fuck with many girls, or boys (although it's more for men imo). since they do not conceive of having an open relationship, and having sex only with their partner until death do us part, it seems like death in life, and being without their partner seems unbearable to them, they lie and look for sex out there. a logical solution. I have been there and for me the only option, very difficult, has been to break up the couple. I can't be in a relationship since I start with that loop that lowers you and turns you into a scammer and a piece of shit. better alone

Absolutely, but in that time was impossible. I don't have much control of my subconscious right now. the beating was hard.

It wasn't a question

The truth is not that. The truth isn't something. The truth is to dissolve the limits, the falsehood is the appearance of limitation. To say: there is nothing except you, is another limitation. The truth is: i am. No i am something, or alone, or with others. Everything is the same. You couldn't adopt a deluded belief because all beliefs are delusion

Who can't stand to be alone? God? But he is. And he is not he, it's the infinity. The infinity is not alone. There is something wrong in that idea

The problem with hidden trauma is precisely that it is hidden. it may be that you do not have it, or that you have brought it to the surface, but the normal thing is to have it and deceive yourself. or normal for me. if there is agitation in you, some degree of unhappiness, compulsion, fear, anger, desire to prove something, need for evaluation, etc....it is because there is distortion between what is and what should be. is this trauma? I would say that all trauma is that, although perhaps it has to be qualified. If your mind is equalized, if what is and what should be follow the same track, you are enlightened. are you? I do not. I don't mean if you realized god, i mean if you could stay without any distortion. Me definitely not. so there is hidden trauma.

I remember very well your report from when I was researching to do 5 meo. that was just a touchdown. even having been 30mg, it seems that your ego's resistance was so tenacious that you couldn't let it go completely. I have a way to do it, especially for fearful people. I vape, I prepare 4 pipes with mg to spare, and I start small, it's like a meditation. first 2 or 3 mg, after 10 minutes a little more, after again, and your mind opens up. if you perceive that you really want to open up, you vape at once 10, or you can continue little by little. Suddenly, without realizing it, that's it. infinite. total. for me it has been fundamental not only because of the transcendence of the ego but also to go beyond my hatred. My family was problematic, and I couldn't erase it, impossible. just total openness, many times, to the point of leaving a permanent hole in my ego, has worked to erase that shit that tortured me. I did it maybe 100 times, not always completely, but enough to see how the ego patterns disintegrated and reassembled. from seeing it so much, you start to understand

this is infinity, unfathomable, and everything that seems to be happening is just a dream. the past is a dream, everything is unreal. there is only this and it is imaginary. nothing has any importance. there are no limits and anything divided by infinity=0 . there is only love flowing infinitely. Nothing ever happened, or everything happened. is the same. dreams that disappear

I'm not depressed at all and hardly ever have been. mine has been more compulsion, projecting forward, donkey with carrot, etc. now it is easy for me to stick to the present, dissolve the barriers and feel the moment, so my life is mostly happy, but even so, life is more beautiful with true selfless human love, and it is something that is very difficult to find, to give, Because mostly of people are too stupid, too closed. But we shouldn't give up

you've done lots of psychedelic trips with the intention of going deeper and nothing...have you ever tried 5 meo? I'm not saying it's going to help you, but in a case like this I'd try everything. It is something very limiting, and it must have a cause, a root. perhaps the dissolution that causes 5 meo gives you some clue

to say that the ego does not exist is not correct. you can realize infinity, but the ego will come back. It is like saying: your body does not exist, there is only infinity. the ego are solid patterns, the same as the body. ultimately everything is an idea of infinity, but it exists as such.

Today I woke up in the night and remembered this conversation. I thought: it would be normal for all people to be in the emotional state of the guy of the thread. human love is rare, false, an empty hope more than anything else. people are alone mentally enslaving each other. everyone is looking for love, some in the family, others in money, sex, success, drugs. all the while fleeing loneliness only to find falsehood. a trap. true human love exists but most people are not capable of it. for this we have to flatten the ego, and the tendency is the opposite. in interactions with others you basically find falsehood, selfishness and emptiness. but everyone seems so happy and active, all donkeys chasing the carrot. The only way is to deepen.

the ego are limits, and they are real. It is as if you put limits on a river, for example, then remove them, and say: they were not real, they were an illusion. yes, but when they were there they worked very well as limits. the limited self has some characteristics, since these psychological barriers that exist to promote survival are real. the limited self can realize that it is a trap for itself, since its survival tools work against it when survival is guaranteed. and also realizes that his search for happiness, for love, will never be realized. is the carrot in front of the donkey. when he realizes that his nature is deception, the promise of something that will never happen, he tries to dissolve himself. it is a difficult matter since the act of trying makes it there. but through understanding and some chemical aids he manages to relax to a certain extent, or almost totally, and realize the limitless nature of reality, of himself. since the ego is reality in the end, only parceled out, limited. and realizing that there are no limits, it is obvious that it is all that there is, was and will be, all is the same, and that when you mix all the colors, the one that remains is pure love, which translates into creative passion: god

@Pure Imagination since when has this been happening to you? Do you remember a time in your life when it didn't happen? with your husband it doesn't happen to you, right? and it is also socializing at the end. what is the difference?

It isn't wrong because it is not the real dark side. The real darkness is fear. Passion is creation, divinity, love. Light

Well, she can publish here because she wants to understand or solve something that happens to her. but that is the symptom, not the disease. the disease is deeper, in the core of the personality. don't underestimate the ego's ability to deceive itself, to avoid dealing with pain, in the form of shame, of trauma. the ego at the time could not handle something, but you had to continue living. uses survival strategies and covers parts of himself. Years go by and although now you could face that, it remains covered. mushrooms disintegrate the ego. they take it apart into pieces, and that sort of thing comes out. If you think that just by wanting it, with your will, you are going to discover the core of the ego... well, either you are wrong or you are a special case. the ego is cunning, it hides things from itself. revealing them all is hard work. And when you thought you had done it, you see that you haven't. I think you can only say that you have cleared it up when at last the ego sees through itself, when the limits really dissolve.