Breakingthewall

Maybe I project too much, and I imagine that all cases are similar to mine. I think that in general, Western civilized humans are very far from the essence of life after many generations of relative well-being and comfort. humans fear life and it's normal, life is implies death. we try to build our security capsule to be safe and this generates neuroses. weakness, psyches built on castles of cards, without solid foundations, evasive, addicted to the mind and crazy. the generation of well-being is the generation of anxiety and suffering, but disguised as happiness. a path of evasion and denial of death that ends in the hells of the hospital and nursing homes. We have a revolution to make, which is to reconnect with reality. it seems that it's what reality wants and what it has sought with this strange existential twist that is the human being. Let's see what's happens

That's biological. it is inevitable and it is how reality is designed. if you are hungry you need to eat, if you get pricked it hurts. If you see death nearby, you panic. It is the root, the base of the code that governs life. the human ego is just a natural development from this base, but very complex

I never did a breakthrough that's not vaped. For me malt is like a psychedelic, with mental stuff, but I just tried 2 times. Meo is just disintegration and depth. I'm going to start with malt in a while. What I wanted to say is that the breakthrough is the important thing at first, you have to reach this point. After, the thing starts. Before, you are in the mind. Look actualized. Leo is saying since 5 years ago: 5meo, breakthrough, god, bla bla, everybody watching the videos, posting here, reading books, but how many doing the practice, that's, ego dissolution with 5 meo? This is the beggining of the real spirituality. Before that, just procrastinating.

Malt in you is like in me. 4 times stronger than meo and much more difficult. You should break first with base, if not, you are going to spend 5 years struggling

If i were you I would forget all those ideas. The number one virtue of 5 meo is the break. your psyche is a monolith made up of very solid energy patterns that limit you. thinking about solipsism, or being afraid of 5meo are two of those patterns. there are thousands, tens of thousands, subconscious, blocked, twisted. 5meo breaks them. Imagine a ball the size of a basketball made of tangled strings. Imagine following each thread, and trying to straighten it out, but that thread depends on another, which depends on another, etc. and as you try to straighten them, you create other different threads, and in the end the result is a big piece of shit. 5meo puts a bomb inside, and detonates it. boom! all the threads disintegrate, straighten out, lose their energy. looking for god or whatever in this experience, imo is a mistake, you just have to look for the rupture. Your goal is to blow the string ball even for 5 seconds. 5 seconds to start is a success. Compared to never having done it is a world of difference. After more time, and in each blast you understand, seeing your energy structure. until you are no longer afraid. It's like skydiving, the first time is horrible, the 200th time is normal and pleasant. Then you could do LSD , mushrooms, weed, any psychedelic, and be able to let yourself go totally, even sober you are much more light, in the edge of the ego dissolution and the mystical opening. This is the work that we must do in my opinion. And the way, at first, is vaping. Not everyone is like Leo, mostly of us need more progressive and slower work with 5 meo. We should realize that nobody in this forum is doing a serious work plugging 5 meo in high doses. Almost nobody in the world, but many are vaping. Why? Because the slow roa in high dose is not easy, Leo can, but mostly of people no.

I would say that the label "impersonal" arises in our minds given the necessary absence of the "human" for this opening to really occur, but on the other hand, it is you, existence. In experiences with 5meo, (of which I have had many and will continue to have, since I do not use it as a means of understanding but as a means of breaking) the unlimited is manifested but it is very forced, violent, since it occurs by artificially eliminating a living part settled in my mind, the human. Yesterday (due to that rupture work, among other things) the thing happened almost naturally, the human only had to be slightly narcotized, and with this the lucidity was much greater. the beauty of these openings is enormous, this is what we are looking for. but I see it as a difficult process, impossible to teach to others, which requires a deep understanding of what it means to be human. Well, I'll keep looking for the total opening, nothing is comparable.

@Water by the River yyesterday I had an awakening experience, and today I was thinking in what you use to say about enlightenment. I wrote this: yesterday I had an experience that I can't call anything other than enlightenment. I have been thinking a lot about states of consciousness, awakening, understanding, and I was clear to me hat everything is a matter of levels of depth, and that these are infinite. Yesterday morning I took 20 ug of lsd, low but it has a profound effect on me. it allows me to interact with people but at the same time be in an open state, with the flavor of lsd fully present. around 8:00 p.m. in a park I smoked a single puff of weed. I sat down and started thinking about the couple, the sex, and suddenly, something happened. my mind opened completely. the mental flow stopped completely and my being opened, like a plant, leaving an empty hole inside. suddenly, there was no more human, there was no more mind, zero. there was only existence. bright, pure, limitless. laughter. that was. that's it. nothing to understand, nothing to know, all that belongs to the human mind, any comprehension was implicit in existing, there were no more questions, this is what I am, life or death does not matter, reincarnation or whatever, they are all mental stories. brilliance, perfection, recognition of myself as a completely impersonal, free, unlimited existence. nothing to interpret, I stayed in that state for a couple of hours, smiling. that is what I was looking for, the complete purity of the existence that I am. It is not a high state of consciousness, it is the complete purity of consciousness. It cannot be raised any higher because it is beyond the levels, it is simply the total absence of mental contamination. is to be. It is complete joy, my true nature, it cannot be better, there is no more ambition. It is something that if you tell someone, they will find it boring, lacking in content, lacking in future prospects. it is simply being, but same time it's everything. But now I'm doubting. Let's see , Maybe more depth is possible. It's extremely beautiful, so it could became addictive.

The thing is: on the one hand there are histories of the mind. on the other hand, there is awakening to reality. awakening is pure, perfect, and without any story. it is the opening to reality. the end of stories . You can stay with the stories or with awakening. you have to choose one of the two

@UnlovingGod so for a suicide attempt they isolated you for several months in a psychiatric hospital? It seems like a recipe to go crazy irreversibly

The thing is, what you mentioned before about childhood trauma and that, is something that is very common in the West, I would say that it comes from weak and very unconscious parents, which is the usual thing, and we develop as invalids, with great difficulty. in my experience, there is only one solution: real awakening. transcendence. The shit you've inherited can't be fixed, and 10 years of psychotherapy aren't going to get you out of there. your roots are rotten, your foundations are made of clay. all your life you're going to be screwed, every minute, unless you transcend. it's challenging work, and 5 meo is the tool. And your will to understand, to see. if you want to achieve something, prepare to do it hundreds of times, and another psychedelics. the total psychedelic path, no shortcuts. break the human. This is the real path. You will see.

for me 5meo is a meditative exercise. you completely break all the structures over and over again. it doesn't matter if you realize that you are god, the void or whatever. Just experiences. what is important is the fracture. it breaks again and again, until the walls soften. make infinity something more or less normal for you, expose yourself to it. once achieved many times, for example with 25 ug of lsd and a puff of weed you can spend hours in a state of total openness. this is awakening . the pure existence without limit, where understanding does not matter to you, since in the fact of being is all possible understanding. You're awake, and you don't care about life, death, and anything else. you are limitless.

Sounds great. In east Africa psychedelics, sounds wonderful. It's normal in Africa being interested in psychedelic? Yeah, take the 2 grams, it's a good dose for the first time. A real trip but not uncontrollable.

Yes, god is exactly that. create the software: human, roll the dice and see what happens. god likes the game

Yeah, because they fear a lot rejection, they have been possessed in childhood, just like us, with that comparative shit because we live very close to people who have that shit inside, and their parents also had it, and so, and they have told you: you have to meet this standard or you would be better off dead. this is life. all this comes from the fight to the death between violent sons of bitches, murderers, rapists, torturers, who are humans by nature, greedy for power over others, race of son of a bitches, but just as son of a bitches as life is, so it's not easy at all to get rid of this There is just one solution: trascendence. Open yourself to the reality, and loose all the fear. A difficult work, but possible. The prize is the freedom, and the freedom means feel the now as the glory that really it is. That's awakening, the best thing possible. Be you, the freedom, the laugh, the openess, the pure existence.

I would say that the ego is the internal dialogue about oneself in relation to others, evaluating and comparing, and constantly forming a mental image of oneself, usually a little unfavorable, and maintaining that ghostly image full time without stopping for a second. . a serious mental illness

Shit. That's a hell but most of those guys have a better face than mostly of European that are working in a office. Interesting. Seems that men, When the thing gets really hard, are strong If I had a kid, I would say him: you have to be as strong as those guys. You are in deep, you are a human. You can bear anything, just never let the others intimidate you, and never stop to searching a solution. It's better to die. To die is perfect. Let them to make you a favor and fight. Thanks for sharing. Absolutely interesting.

You mean it in the sense that existence itself is a mystery by definition since it is infinite, right? like existence is trying to understand itself infinitely. Why does existence have that compulsion, and it doesn't just exist without so much difficult shit? Maybe just for fun? More because there is no choice. Infinity can't stop.

I don't know. Is it really possible to understand the reality? @Leo Gura what do you think? how much have you understood?

I'm working in it every day. Not just sustaining, but increasing it. the problem with sustaining it is that you start to eliminate the superfluous, the inharmonious, and in the end there's almost nothing left, but I don't see any other option. then there is the matter of going deeper. I see it inevitable. but there are a lot of traps there, conceptualizing and all that. But what to do? Go deeper

? Exactly

It depends a lot if you have designed your life so that this is possible or not.

More like: much better to dissapear that this shit. but you never disappear you are the bottomless well that is, doing its work of creation, for which the ingredient of suffering is essential. without it, everything would be a soup. suffering is your creative tool

Exactly. the reason for mental suffering is to push us to realize that. After, let's dance.

It's an evolutionary issue. all pain has as its objective the creation of a movement that tends to escape from it, on an individual, collective and genetic level. the bad thing is when it's your turn to be buried in an anthill while the tribe laughs

We have to understand what suffering is, what its purpose is, what existence is, how existence materializes itself. existence is the goddess kali, she laughs at suffering. suffering is love. nothing is forbidden, everything goes for the sake of greater complexity, greater evolution and greater art, and if your destiny is to be tortured for a year in the dungeons of the sultan son of a bitch, hallelujah for it. But as a human, I'm going to avoid suffering as much as I can, and feel real pity for who is suffering.