gettoefl

Never a better time to be alive and all we do is argue bitch complain ad nauseam how bad it it how blighted the world how blameworthy God is. We did nothing ourselves to cause the wars the famines the corruption. I am innocent and others not to mention God are wholly to blame for my woe.

I like to read and study the darkest of the dark. I want to understand. And I have come to. I devour all true crime and deviant personality studies - I volunteer in the prison and work soup kitchens and shelters. There is a reason people get where they get. They were treated deplorably and they dish that out on others as being the only response they know. Hurt people hurt people. The more awake you become you move from I mind what happens to I care what happens. You see everyone as broken wounded fragile. You recognise I could be them very easily. There but for grace go I. I am willing to go through shit if need be. I will take a bullet to the head if it will save a hostage's or a child's life. Reason is I believe that would be a force for good in the perpetrator's mind. Could be a turning point. My life does not mean anything now that I see.

Boredom is the belief: something is missing, something is lacking, let something here be different. Peace is the recognition: nothing is missing, nothing is lacking, let everything here be as it is. The shift is this: I no longer take myself to be someone in lack. I withdraw this meaning I myself added. I chased excitement for so long that lack became the default. But it was something I always brought to the table.

I need to forget humans and focus on myself. My life is hard due to self inflicted wounds. I can't lay that on God. If I work on me, I can wake up. Then I can be used by God to make the world a less shit place. The saving of the entire world is in my hands. Will I step up is the only question.

Anger is me trying to violently impose my worldview on you as if I had any clue about you. You don't need to change. I do.

For me it is as follows. There is nothing bad that can hurt me and nothing good that can help me. I look around with forgiveness and disenchantment, the former means don't worry about something because it's all good and latter means don't hope for anything because it's all bad. The world is a passing dance of mist on water. Nice enough, nothing special. Engaging the world with this mindset allows one to be unstoppable, untouchable and unmovable. Allied to this one sees one is not a doer, a chooser, a thinker, a feeler though doing, choosing, thinking, feeling happen naturally and smartly. I don't take credit. I enjoy the fruit, the wine, the song, the dance. The following nicely encapsulates such a mood. Forgive the typos needless to say.

Thanks. Every day is better. Life is endurance and determination. I'm on track with it.

You give them grace and leeway while protecting your space and peace. It's a tough balance. Family is how you are who you are. So you play your part.

Yes families are messy. They know our weak spot. They bring out our worst aspect. So it's always a struggle to make it work. Bit it's your blood and your mirror. So you do your best to find a way.

I don't say it's good for another. It is a hard-gained lifestyle choice to protect peace and harmony. Like they say all happy families are the same. All unhappy families are unhappy in a unique way.

I explained in copious detail. Feel free to ask if anything is unclear.

Not all. Can only speak for yourself right?

There are two ways to be in a family. One is to sometimes take initiative and sometimes reach out. The other is to do high days and holidays with them for the sake of unity and duty. I do the latter - what you might term minimal involvement. I don't support their values nor partake in their flashiness and materialism and feed it no fuel. This I suspect is a strain for them but it is a necessary step for me. I choose not to go no contact in order that they have the semblance of a functional family and maybe one day they reform their lives. I stick around them sacrificially because I love them despite who they are.

There are 2 things - truth and illusion. Believe illusion see illusion. Believe truth see truth. Faith works. You have to fortunate enough to believe truth. Which isn't easy as all you experience is illusion.

So cut off family's toxicity root and branch. Still entertain them just don't listen.

Mind mastery is everyone is perfect and I'm the problem.

Violence is arrogance and hatred manifested: I'm good, you're bad to the extent that If you stand out and I'm having a bad day I will happily hammer you into line. Everyone is violent and feels it justified and keeps it locked up. Anytime you are not in absolute peace, you sow violence inwardly then outwardly.

There are just two things and in fact they are not-two - appearance knowing itself as awareness and awareness clothing itself in appearance. So step 1 is know yourself. Don't let appearance dominate you. Abide as what is. What is, unresisted, is peace; the experience of peace is happiness and from there a good final chapter of the human incarnation is possible. And the you that you thought you were doesn't do that. It is done through you. The old you is over.

We only need care about another's opinion if they are paying our bills. If not what they say is irrelevant. If you have money, you can forge your own path irrespective of another's input. Money=freedom.

It's an attempt to remove or improve what is already unmovable. The anger, fear and control I think I have is pure madness and does nopthing except keep me stuck. My will is perfect happiness not self-defeating resistance. Nothing here needs to be different. From that clarity flows love and peace and joy.

Money is a tool of comparison. Make nothing or make millions. but don't tell anyone. Keep finances quiet. If you are not making ends meet you need to take stock and do better. Survival is needed and until it is figured out, nothing else matters. Forget any mind-mastery until you have a good chunk in the bank. To have money makes one invulnerable and unstoppable. To have none makes one a slave and a burden.

If you go out you get sick. Then you never get sick since you have immunity. Ask any teacher. If you stay home you never get sick. Until you start going out.

Better to celebrate failure. It is the only thing that can wake you up so that you can appreciate and enjoy that you are not the doer. Success is the lie, I am the sum of my blood sweat tears. You are not.

What's just is is justice. God loves what he made.

It's not, I'm the only one here. It's, not even I am here. But I am looking through just one pair of eyes. I cannot change what those eyes see. I can however change how those eyes see. The eyes interfere with reality as if that were worthwhile or even possible. The looker interrupts the interference. All is now well. It is ok as it is.