Ima Freeman

@integral Don't pray for better times, pray for more strength.

@SQAAD Being disrespected, especially being adversed by others is one of the biggest fears in human psyche. Being disliked by others in a tribe puts you into life threatening danger. Humans in modern society do not live in small tribes with very limited resources any more. There are situations in which it is necessary to show boundaries and tell people that they crossed a line. That is, if they live with you or are part of your daily environment (e.g. workplace). Otherwise you can turn into a doormat for sadistic venting by others. I understand your situation, because I suffered from murder thoughts in the recent past. Things like stabbing my relatives, cutting heads off. The daydreams revolved around others showing disrespect towards me and me killing them in a utterly unproportional manner. I still do have thoughts of violence towards others, but they are very rare now. In my case it was due to brain health issues, because I detoxed heavy metals. This made my mind extremely agitated. The rage is still a natural reflex, that healthy people with an stable, peaceful environment normally do not encounter. People with an unhealthy, overstimulated brain come into contact with the primal fear I described above. Sounds like this could be the case with you. Being treated violently in the past could be a factor too, as was the case for me. Anyways I would recommend you to not try to deny the violent, stage redish type of your psyche. Instead contemplate on it and let it be. Try to accept and learn about this part of the psyche. That should reduce the feeling of shame and guilt. And very important, look into detoxing, nutrition and health in general. You want to detox agitating chemicals out of your body and find foods that are calming to you not stimulating or inflaming.

@Oeaohoo Thank you for your answer. The unconscious is a concept of psychology as @Carl-Richard pointed out. But I read recently that in eastern thought the same or a similar concept existed. What I originally ment was Leo's teaching of reality. So the unconscious is only real when it is thought of, when the thought ceases it no longer is consciousness an therefore not real anymore.

I kinda grasp what you're writing, yet I'm not sure Does that mean, that the unconscious reveals itself when the ego ceases?

Could you please link these videos

Sounds like a flashback of the shrooms caused by THC I doubt that this would have happened if you didn't trip the day before

Trance is the best thing for me to open my heart Not everyone's taste, but if you can lose yourself in it, than there is hardly another style that enlivens and "euphorizes" you as much

@Manusia You can of course enjoy it. There are many touristic places to do winter sports like skiing, cross country skiing, sledding, things like that. And there are many wellness spas too. For tourism there is a very good infrastructure. But I don't like the cold and winter in general. I like hot weather (the hot I have here where you can chill in the sun without problems )

@Manusia Austria, Upper Styria to be more precise Very beautiful in the summer. Can get depressing in the winter.

I love to share my nature pics

@undeather I do not support the views of everyone who speaks there. I learn what interests me and test it on myself. While there is a plentitude of good advice on the site, I have to say that there are speakers who obviosly market their products there. But I think the average user here is aware of how our capitalist society works.

Just wanted to share this website with you: https://healthmeans.com/talks It is a video platform of experts in mostly holistic and naturopathic medicine and therapies. A great ressource if you are on the path of optimizing your health or if you are struggeling with an mystery illness.

@EugeneTheSage I would ask your local pharma dea.. I mean doctor for some antibiotics that can help you against these evil microbes. They are everywhere these days. Ah, and maybe there are some vaccines that can help you. But seriously, don't overthink microbes too much. There are companies that make billions from the fear of it. Eat healthy organic food, get daily exposure to earth and sun. There are ways to test for infections, if you have reasons to suspect one/some. It is a good idea to do parasite cleanses periodically with things like garlic, oregano oil, cloves, ...

Recently I got hold of a gram of Ketamine. Funnily enough, Leo released a video on this substance as it was on it’s way to me. After experimenting with Ketamine in several settings the days before, like watching videos, listening to music and using it on a rave, I got more serious this time and consumed it just before a meditation session. I might have had a slight tolerance at this point, but the dosage was my second biggest one too. I do not meditate consistently at the moment, so the specific effect of Ketamine for this purpose is highlighted, I think. After preparing my body for an extended time of sitting I took 50 mg nasally, than I went to my bedroom, got into position and closed my eyes. Slowly and comfortably the effects set in. The main effect on me was not mentally, but physically. Eyes closed, Ketamine has a very prominent body load for me. The experience of space is distorted. The distance of my extremities warped to be closer together or further away. My body rested very firmly in its position without feeling an itch or discomfort somewhere. I felt very relaxed and comfortable, much more than usually when meditating. The pressure from the ground or in my back was almost unnoticeable. This is no surprise, since Ketamine is used as an anesthetic. The distortion of sounds was prominent as well. The sounds of passing cars in the back where pulsating and sounded more like waves hitting a shore. At the same time I got a light tinnitus sound, the loudness of which correlated with the intensity of the trip. Mentally, Ketamine gave me a little euphoria at first, which did not hold for long. It slowed down my thinking process, but not in an very significant way. Time progresses slower than usual. Ketamine has a little psychedelic hint to it, but I did not have visual hallucinations. The most prominent effect was the experience of introversion. I was sort of in a different realm and did not feel connected to the outside world at all. Together with the warping of my physical sensation this stopped abruptly after opening my eyes. For some reason I got the urge to think about problems in my life after the peak has passed. Maybe because I was expecting more antidepressant effects and now wanted to force something. But thinking against the grain of Ketamine's mind slowing effect did not yield much. After 30 to 40 minutes the effects started to become a little uncomfortable. I noticed my heart rate increasing as did the pace of other physical sensations. Opening my eyes I noticed how everything I looked at moved up, like when you are very drunk and cannot focus your eyes on anything. I then proceeded to lie on my back as I came down from the substance. Ketamine's main effects only last for approximately 45 minutes for me, which is rather short, but the after effects can drag on for hours. Right after the Ketamine trips I did, I got hungry and slightly melancholic. This seems a little odd for me. Mentally Ketamine is a little disappointment for me. It neither lead to no-mind, nor did it gave me a strong antidepressant effect. Ketamine did help to slow things down, enable my body to stay in sitting position comfortably and gave me a very introverted experience. But it did not lead a deep meditative state on its own. Like in normal meditation practice I feel like I have to little “brain power” to be still inside. If I take MDMA for example, I get closer to no mind than I did on Ketamine. Being on Ketamine with eyes opened is very different from the experience of it having the eyes closed. The first being like a different kind of drunkenness the latter more resembling a “trip”.

It didn't produce nausea for me. In the contrary, it me a little hungry

@Leo Gura @halfknots I might give a higher dosage a try in the future. Some aspects of the trip where quite intense und uncomfortable already.

@Arcangelo Hm, but I'm otherwise too healthy to get tonsillitis I fear

I wish too. Great gameplay, art style and soundtrack.

@Akashic What about piracy?

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