Gesundheit

That is good skepticism if you're not convinced. You don't have to take anything for granted. You can verify those things for yourself. If I'm determined, who can convince me otherwise?

No. That is a just circular concept you created. God is an infinite point, meaning that it's exactly itself. How could it be anything else? Another circular reasoning. Maybe circles exist, but to make them a bug or a feature is a bit going too far, don't you think? ?

What?

Is reality made of love? Is reality inherently good?

The whole point of awakening is to do away with logic. As long as there is even the slightest bit of belief in the materialist paradigm, you aren't awake. And if you think about it, adopting logic is really nothing but a neurotic way to live life.

Earlier tonight in walking meditation I asked why is everything this way? The answer came to me in a glimpse. It was so that I can be.

Perfectionism is a coping mechanism that manifests when things are overwhelming and out of control. It's an ego mechanism to make it feel as though the ego is still in control right after it loses it, until it's cured.

How can anyone listen to something this upbeat and feel sad? I don't know, but I do ?

I experience this even outside of meditation. The feeling is more like a circle in the middle of my forehead. It feels like a little weight pushing horizontally. No pulse though.

@Leo Gura rape is harmful because it's ego. Resisting sex would make it into rape because of the thick ego. If the victim would let go it would only be sex. But no, we want to have a free will, and that's part of the price we pay.

@Farnaby Yeah I agree with everything you said. Although now the real question for me is: Is it really worth it? Should I try to Or not? I think I can do that if I work at it. But should I?

@universe I think I've found something. I tried listening to a music song that is linked with someone I loved once and did not come through for me. They were very special and I loved them so much, and they did actually want to come through but they could not because they were from a different religious background and that was the reason why we broke up. The feeling of love is accompanied with sadness for me. I can't feel love without feeling sad. And now I'm crying as I'm typing this. Love gives me depression and I don't want to be depressed.

Oops! ??

I didn't watch the video but reading the thread here I assume it's mainly about criticism of irrationality and magnifying rationality in comparison, which to me, is a complete joke. I can't even start to think of an answer to this because it itself is based on irrational fear of death. For some reasons, the human mind seems to be conditioned to desire control in order to live as long as possible. But is control really important? The main difference between rationality and irrationality is the difference between chaos and order. Or in other words, how controlling and manipulative a mind is. What makes any argument for rationality silly, is the unexpectedness of the future. Someone who is afraid of covid could be taking all the precautions and then somehow catch the virus and die. And someone else who may be indifferent to the whole thing may not even catch the virus, or heal quickly. Really there's no way to guarantee a longer life. It's impossible by all means. My golden rule: you could always die by getting hit by a bus.

That's why I say it's an absolute distinction

A sensation. Absolutely. How can you know that fire burns you without an interpretation?

I believe I am well aware of my emotions. Aside from any major events, I could feel bliss at times during meditation. And sometimes I feel stress throughout life, but I remember to bring awareness onto it and it vanishes immediately. Major events may cause a lot of stress for me. Those are the ones I consider traumatizing. They usually are overwhelming and not located in a certain area. The minor stress I can easily locate, usually in my stomach area. I tried it now. I felt extremely faint sparks of love at first, especially when Leo was naming different memories. But they didn't last long. And when he started talking about magnifying the feeling, I lost track because there was nothing to magnify.

I don't know why would you recommend this. I don't feel bitter about the past or any person or anything at all. I don't feel love either. I just feel neutral about everything. Love is advocated within spiritual circles and that's why I'm asking. If I don't feel it, does this indicate that I'm doing something wrong? Or is it because of the traumatic past I have? Or is it simply BS and I am normal? I used to feel love in different flavors in the past. I used to love the poor and give money away. Now I don't give a fuck. In the back of my mind, I think that I need the money more than they do and that most of them are making a business out of faking poverty (it's a thing where I live) and that they are selfish devils. I am no longer in contact with the people I consider toxic. I have cut them out of my life completely long ago. I don't think so. Like I said above, I'm mainly concerned about whether there's something wrong with me that I am not able to feel the love advocated within spiritual circles. I also don't have any passions or a direction in life, and I think that may be related.

@Chris365 you don't understand.

Maybe it's not really my problem. Maybe the world needs to love and understand me instead. Maybe it's my right to have an ego and give and receive egoic love. I understand all this awakening stuff, I've been practising it for years. But I don't feel the love anymore. It's empty here. No love and no hatred either. I understand that nothing is personal because there is no person here anymore. The person died each time it got betrayed.

Knowledge is irrelevant here. It is derived from sensation, not the other way around. Sensation is prior to all thoughts. Whoa! That is a bold claim. Well, you're a master at that ??

@RedLine I suspect you're currently in a high state of consciousness.

You're just mentally masturbating bro. I'm talking about the actual thing, the raw sensations, and you're talking about abstract thoughts. Babies feel pain. In fact, babies are the ultimate portrayers of how real pain sensations are. You can't force a baby to stop crying if it's feeling pain. Crying is simply the natural response before ego was even born.

That's not the case for me. Consider orgasms. When I am having one, I just focus on the raw sensations of ejaculation, and they feel very pleasant. The contractions of the muscles and all that. Absolute pleasure. Nothing to do with ego or thought.

I'm sorry. I don't follow. I am talking about the actual experience of pleasure, not some thoughts about it. When I desire pleasure there will be thoughts, but when I am actually experiencing it, I am it. No thoughts and no anything else. Direct pleasure, direct feeling, without a medium. That feeling is never unpleasant. It is always pleasurable. Sometimes ego can interrupt the pleasure and turn it into hell, but that's something else entirely. The raw sensation of pleasure is pleasant. The ego can either enhance it or make it less or flip it upside down.