Jacob Morres

Why I enjoyed 6 pillars of self esteem: - I felt good that Branden included a lot of nuance in his wisdom. He didn't just put out a principle and said it was the truth. He pressed on context which I admired because context is key in the world of self improvement - it was really nice to see when he gave advice that he spoke much about the traps and misconceptions. Often in self improvement I feel advice gets too linear! Almost like they can't see outside the bubble of the advice they are giving. Just very unholsitic - felt well studied, well researched and well understood. Branden remains unbiased , with an understanding he doesn't have the absolute truth and is always willing to append on his wisdom - goes in depth on the principles. I think though he went in depth I have a lot of questions still and I think it could be explained even better. - a lot of great definitions founded in wisdom What is the connection between the practice and what does it have to do with self esteem? How are they interlinked? Why is self esteem so illusive to the psychology community? How come definitions of it aren't so concrete? Why is self esteem comprised of two definitions? How can one thing be 2?? Why did the program feel so impersonal? I honestly felt he needed way more questions to help engage the reader to understand the idea more. Worksheets Personal questions: What is self esteem and why is it important? What I would have liked to see: - I was a little dissatisfied with the practical program. Though it did feel somewhat comprehensive I wish there was a classroom like with TAs or a cohort or something. When I am stuck or confused, I have nobody to go to

leo denotes this as the #1 skill to develop

can attest to brian johnson being a G

I've noticed this too. I think the sensitivity just means your consciousness of your emotions are way higher. Whereas before, it'd just be in the background but now the person is more attuned with them

shadow work. might be a bit radical but if you do shadow work youll be able to integrate 'other' and the anger towards 'other' will decrease as you start to see it a part of yourself as well. integration of those parts in yourself will help you understand that in others being a good/moral person requires a lot of development and consciousness. it's actually a large spectrum. this is because there is sooo much to it. emotional intelligence, quality of your intentions, the manner in the ways you cope, integrity it's like a process to gradually reduce your selfishness and your 'evil'. i try to not think of evil as a bad because it is contained in all of us and is just what makes us human. it helps you integrate it as well. leos videos on evil may help you i find it an enjoyable process to find and dissolve the 'evil' in me, it's a never-ending healing journey for me

@lxlichael you may need to dig into the reason as to what makes your preferences the way they are

i would also say mindfulness as the #1 habit but also - the best habit is really relative to the individual as each person and situation is different

Naw I don't think so. If i had to guess they'd need to turn internal first

@hoodrow trillson some of the anti racists have heavy internalized racism in them They're fighting against their shadow or something

Ya I agree. I don't agree with condemning most of the time, I think everyone deserves compassion But need to be careful because it's deeper than preferences

Also implicitly Those on the other end will feel the racial bias on a systemic level Like you see through dating apps and swipes. Though black women are probably not explicitly having said racist things to them, implicitly they feel the bias Stats show this Like thru their lack of swipes, lack of good responses from men, observing and comparing w other poc and how men treat them etc. Like if you don't work through racial bias internally it'll reflect externally. I dont want anyone to feel shame for it as I think we all have some of it to an extent so it's understandable. But still has its consequences so it's best to be worked thru (if that resonates)

i do not recommend betterhelp betterhelp is a new platform for affordable therapy but the problem is i think (no offense) attracts therapists that may be new and lesser competent. they also get paid very little. ive heard like $25/hr which is ridiculous as therapists usually make $200 / hr i had 4 therapists from there (they let you swap until you find one you like) and they were so lowly skilled relative to the ones i got who charge market rates. im sure though, if you do not have insurance or can't afford it, they are probably helpful. but for me, it just didnt suit my needs

@AlwaysJoggin true thinking it is hard is a self-fulfilling prophecy for me i have a core belief that business is easy and it's made doing business so much easier.

Impact is inherent You will always have some sort of impact on the world/people around you, it's important to take conscious control over it because it will either be negative or positive

As long as your intent is clear it's chillin. Like whatre you trying to achieve with it

yeah i can relate. for me models just feel too inaccurate to fully depict who i am, where im at, and what i need or desire a lot of models are just straight irrelevant to me. sometimes theyre incomplete to my needs. sometimes theyre inaccurate. sometimes theyre not that useful as i previously thought sometimes theyre useful for me i had to question why i was even using the models in the first place and if they were the right ones for me.

yeah, they say sexuality is a spectrum not a binary thing and a lot of people will never explore - part of what keeps people from exploring is cultural stigma and past conditioning

Nice Someone gets it

Looks won't give you much happiness But I also want to put the caveat of sometimes its right for people at their level of development But for me after having a rel that was extremely unfulfilled it taught me that fulfillment is #1 But I've also never really been into looks that much. I sort of am, but like leo mentioned I care much about other aspects which make looks much less relevant

@zazenidk I still think somethings off with this "be a man" stuff. It's too inauthentic for my taste

Everybody is weak and awkward to some degree and not acknowledging it and being okay with it can create a part of you that is neglected/disowned @zazen If you hide it, you're being inauthentic I think yall.are missing a pillar of what creates a meaningful relationship

nice

@Leo Gura I think there may be a distinction between attraction and love, empathy & connection

Very interesting My hypothesis on this is that Contemplation is where you change your perspectives. Challenging old ones, and building new neural pathways Almost like weightlifting where you push your weight to tear your microfibers muscles so that they can rebuild into new ones And you can only push your comfort zone so much At a time Just a guess

The art of creation === Goal/Why vs/+ Process/Systems Paradox in self development: (paradoxes aren't actually paradoxes, they exist on the same plane, they are only seemingly paradoxical) 1. Don't focus on the goal, focus on the systems The truth in this statement is that having and setting the goal itself won't manifest itself by itself. There are specific action steps that you need to take that are essential to manifesting your goals. However focusing on this alone gives way to problem 2. 2. Don't focus on the thing, you need to have a why The truth in this statement as I understand it is that the action steps sometimes are not motivating at all and won't get you the results you desire. The why will give you something meaningful to chase after and generate desire and motivation to create it. However focusing on this alone gives way to problem 1. The solution I understand it Since focusing on the goal/process alone is incomplete, my solution and understanding of the convergence is that have a goal and then focus on the specific action steps that create the goal! either/or has issues To be even more nuanced, it seems to be a balancing act, not an either/or. both have their specific use cases and tons more nuance For example another nuance is focusing on the goal and developing the goal can increase your motivation when you lose meaning. the goal can sometimes be overwhelming so it's sometimes best to focus on the action steps that manifest that goal That sometimes can make you blind to the process so you need to be aware of enjoying the process as well -> the enjoyment can create a fulfilling and happy life. the process is also what actually generates that results so getting the process down real good will help you manifest that big/small goal. however focusing too much on the process can make you lose sight of the bigger picture of what you want out of life and where you are going.