Princess Arabia

Cling to can mean different things to different people. I'm guessing you're asking because of the way I speak. I don't look at life as something to cling to. Things come and things go. I've had so many of those kinds of changes that I've learnt to not cling to anything too material. I'm not nihilistic nor am I just nonchalant about life. Life is glorious. Too glorious and magnificent and magical for me to try and claim to be mine. It's life lifing and I'm here witnessing it all, apparently and until I'm not. Idk what comes after but for now it's a show but not a show to be claimed or owned. Life is unconditional and doesn't need my petty conditions for it to be whatever it wants. I've recognized it's temporary and fleeting so why cling.

As much value as you give it. Life doesn't care about value; it just is, and doesn't need value from anything. It's the human identity that seeks for value. So you make the call. Read along or don't, the body still breathes. I might find value in having values, but I'm also aware that it's all made up and constructed. All normal and a part of life. Nothing to cling to or suffer about. Those values are meaningless, empty and means nothing but only to the story teller and it's made-up life. Not a very popular message but yet liberating but not for the one that's deeply neurotic and arrogant and narcissistic into seeing itself as the center of the Universe and that it actually is important and has a real purpose.

I said apparent individual's life. Meaning there really is no life of an individual but it surely appears that way. So, there are really no consequences either way because the individual's apparent life isn't really happening. Meaning there are things appearing eg bodies, houses, cars, trees, whatever appears is energy appearing solid and as form but it's not personal, sees no one; but there's an energetic pattern that tends to be found within the body that gets contracted and feels like a person there that we call me that thinks it's a human with a life and a story. So there are no real consequences because there's actually no one there. It's all just appearances and illusory effects. Seems real, but it's all empty and void of any real meaning and real substance. Apparent consequences are also just stories and ideas that the me invented to carry on it's personal storyline.

There are no truths or lies but only in the relative sense. Notice I didn't say all is Absolutely true, I used only the word Absolute. All that you asked is the Absolute appearing as questions being asked. Whichever way they are answered is also the Absolute responding and appearing as such. Answers in the affirmative or negative will all be relative answers. As far as the expressing of words statement, that's all illusory and only as an appearance because all is the Absolute and nothing can be known. For there to be something known there has to be more than one, separation and time which are also the Absolute appearing as apparent space and time. There's nothing but all there is so how can anything really be known. It's all a mirage, an appearance neither real or unreal but not actually the case. It's all illusory knowledge and expressions and also there's an illusory effect of you having an experience of knowing. That's what I mean by nothing can really be expressed with words.

Geesh, you would think I'm asking him to pay my college tuition or rent or car note. It's only a date that he asked me to go on and i would only accept if I liked him. Not just for a free meal. I can feed myself. I am nit going to keep explaining myself just to get insulted and be misinterpreted and words put in my mouth because of your preconceived notions about women. Lots of these rebuttals are mentioning nothing I've stated and no one is mentioning the fact that I said I would pay for the date if I asked a man out. Just because I don't ask men out doesn't negate that fact. I've done it in the past many times. I just don't anymore. I don't have to explain why. I have to take into consideration who I'm debating with and the type of mindsets. Nothing negative just different and at a different stage. I'm much older than most of you and more experienced and understand somewhat that men and women are different and are attracted to different things. Also culture and regions play a role. My mindset is definitely not one of entitlement, think because I'm beautiful that men should pay for everything or that i'm better or deserve more just for being a woman. I don't think that way. Neither does my stance has to do with treating the guy as a trick or a sex worker or anything on those regards. Those are different matters. All I'm saying is my stance and this is my personal stance that I'm getting slack for, is if a man asks me out on a personal date, then he is expected to foot the bill that's it. To ne that's just proper dating etiquette just like I won't expect to be on my phone throughout a romantic date because it's bad manners, or constantly keep looking at another guy or things of that nature. For me it's about manners and etiquette in this regard and nothing about what you are all referring to especially @Hojo. So off-track. With this said, I'm respectfully dismissing myself from this conversation as I can't think of anything else to say to make my point or to express myself as to how I see this. Instead, I'm getting backlashes and insinuations of a user, entitled because of beauty and not seeing the man for who he genuinely is etcetc. I have said all I have to say and will stick to what I'm saying with feelings of dignity and respect to and for myself for the way i feel about all this. I respect your opinions but I refuse to be put on the stand and be belittled for the way I feel about this matter. The only stance I have here is if a man asks me out on a date he should be responsible for that date. I didn't even mention this before but I will now, he should even make sure as a woman that I have a safe way of getting there and a safe way of getting back home or wherever my head will lay for the evening. That's not too much to ask and I make no excuses for these expectations. Chow.

Sorry but that's your childish interpretation of what's being said. I mentioned nothing about being beautiful and I know lots of ugly women who feel the same way. A feminine woman's style of approach is seductive and more passive. A masculine wonanls style is forceful and aggressive. A man pays for a date he asks a woman out on, period end of story whether she's ugly, beautiful, rich or whatever unless she offers to and vice versa. I mentioned nothing about valuing my time but his way of appreciating me for accepting his offer and I will do the same in ways that expresses my femininity and without it being an exchange of time for pay. A man will understand what I'm saying. A grown mature man. One who has had lots of experience with ladies, not girls and teenie bobbers.

That's not true. You are reading into more than what's being said. You're taking it personally and concocting up stories in your head from what's being said. Probably things like, what if I can't afford a date then I'm dateless, she doesn't like me as much she expects me to pay for her food, I have to limit my dates with women if I have to keep paying for them all. It's obvious from what you're saying that these are the kinds of things going through your head and what has nothing to do with my pov on this. Saying "put in a man's position", " have no idea how it feels from a male's perspective", reveals the mindset you have on this and the kinds of projected stories that is feeding this mentality. It's obvious to me and is only my opinion.

That's OK. This is how I weed out the weeds from the shaft. I'm not the type of girl that you will be able to play those games on where you pay for the date just to get in her pants and then after you've got a nut off on her behalf, now you're different towards her. You shouldn't be talking about someone's behavior with that kind of mentality. Shame on you. Poor unsuspecting women who gets into your devious path. All men have to worry about with me is to pay for a date they've asked me out on or not ask at all. Simple and genuine behavior. Not sure what kind of behavior you're referring to.

I never said that. I said I don't ask men out. I'm not the kind of girl to approach men for dinner dates or any kind of dates, not even when I'm working (but that's not the discussion here). Sorry, if that's a bad thing for a woman. I might give signals that i like you etc, but I'm not asking for a date unless we're already in a discussion and talking and you kind of hint it and I'm agreeing something like that, but I don't come outright to ask men for dates. Of course, if I already know you and we've been out before or we're dating or married I might say let's go to so and so, that's different.

Nothing to do with all that. No one should be expected to pay for themselves when asked out. This is not paying for themselves. This is paying and coming out of pocket for a date you asked for whether she agrees to go should not entitle her to pay for your suggestion. If he respected her, he would acknowledge that he needs to pay because he asked. I'm respecting myself by not coming out of pocket for a date that was proposed to me. It's disrespect to propose a date and expecting them to pay.

Why are you guys bringing in paying for someone's time. He's not paying for my time, he's being appreciative. Likewise I'm being appreciative for showing up. You guys are totally ignoring the part where I said, and I'll put it in caps this time, I WILL GLADLY PAY FOR A DATE THAT I ASKED SOMEONE TO GO ON.

Lol, that's what I said. Atleast we agree on something. Lol

OMG, perfect recipe for suffering, anxiety and depression. What a story.

Sex worker? How dies that even fit into the picture. No one is speaking about that kind of dynamic. There's no mixing the two with me and one doesn't have anything to do with the other. Are you going to turn away your party guests because they didn't bring anything to the party. If you're having a party and you invite me, it's up to me to bring a drink or anything, it shouldn't be expected because you invited me. Idk, maybe it's a generation thing and I'm from a different generation. Plenty of both men and women agree with my stance in this matter and it has nothing to do with treating some one like a sex worker. Those things don't enter my mind when I'm discussing normal things.

I'm filtering out people who don't have manners, who feel entitled to people's time and energy, feel entitled to just ask to go out with you on a romantic date and doesn't know how to show their appreciation for you saying yes. Reverse and I'll gladly pay for showing how I appreciate your saying yes. I can show my appreciation on the date for you asking me out as a woman in many ways. Opening your side of the car door for you after you've let me in, showing respect to you throughout the date, giving you my undivided attention and sharing with you a lovely experience. Genuine and authentically cheap is all the guy will be showing me if he expects me to pay my half.

Guys, if there's a store that requires purchase just for entering the store (just for arguments sake), once you enter the store you're expected to purchase something - that's the rule of the store. Would you ask someone guy or girl to accompany you to that store just because you wanted company and didn't want to go alone. Would you expect them to purchase something out of their pocket just because you asked them to go with you. It's common decency to offer to purchase something for them in this instance because you asked for the companionship. It's the same thing. You guys are the ones reading into this too much. It's simple, ask someone to go on a date you pay. Don't ask if you aren't willing to pay. If the other party says they'll pay then so be it. I don't know how that's arrogance or entitlement. Far from it. It's called decency, maturity, good etiquette and being responsible. Period. End of story.

Is it arrogant to say I will pay for a guy I asked to go out on a date with. I doubt you'd say that's arrogant. Why is the opposite arrogant. I'm sorry, but please don't ask me to go out with you on a date and expect me to pay for it. That's just entitlement and being rude. Doesn't matter if I like you or not. Expecting him to pay doesn't equal to me not being attracted to him or liking him as a person. Nothing to do with that. It's etiquette I'm dealing with here. Not me feeling entitled. Don't ask for a date and expect me to pay and I won't ask you for a date and expect you to pay either.

I wouldn't be ruling a guy out for not paying, I would rule him out for expecting me to pay for a date he asked me out on. That's just bad, really bad. Really, really, really bad. That's enough for me to never want to take the date any further. That to me is equivalent to me approaching you, telling you how much I like you and want to spend time with you and then asking you to pay for the time together. If the woman wants to pay fine, but don't expect her to.

Sorry, but that's just not my mindset. Has nothing to do with equal rights or not or spiral dynamics stages. A better mindset is what mindset the person has and is relative. There are no rules in this game other than what the person sets for themselves. If I ask a man out, I will pay the bill in total. I just don't ask men out. If I ask my gf to accompany me to dinner, I will also gladly pay her share if she doesn't suggests otherwise. If a gf asks me to go to dinner with her and she wants to pay my share, I'll suggest leaving the tip if she lets me and i will insist on it until she really insists back that it's all on her. I'm not referring to just casual platonic dating, I'm referring to a real date with a man that asked me out. It has nothing to do with me liking him for him and not because he paid. It's about etiquette and consideration. Don't ask me out and expect me to pay. Why put someone in a spot to say they can't afford it. Nothing wrong on saying that to a group of people or a gf, but it's very inappropriate to put a lady through that. Just pay up if you ask, it's that simple. Forget about all that women's right stuff and spiral dynamics.

Exactly, some men just aren't that hard up about it, especially if he likes her. They really enjoy it, whether it leads to anything more or not. Some women will offer to pay because they don't want you to feel like now they owe you something.

I was the victim of a horrible pick-up line today. I was alone sitting down and he pranced upon me (kinda scared me shitless) and said, "excuse me, I was wondering if you could give me directions - directions to your heart". Then he actually paused and looked at me waiting for an answer. I just couldn't help but to just look at him in awe, like wtf are you saying. Then after the brief silence he asked if I was single, and I said no. Then he said, I admire beauty, have a nice day and walked away. I hate pick-up-lines. Just say hi, are you alone or hi, I'm Jeff, would you like some company or something ordinary like that. Not that the line was that bad but that he expected an answer. That's not leaving me open to reciprocate, it's leaving me open to look at you like what the fuck was that. Nobody is going to mind a "hi, I'm so and so what's your name", because that's generic and doesn't leave much room for criticism or leave you speechless. It's a mistake to prance upon an unsuspecting female with a line like that because you just set yourself up to be judged by that line and it could go either way. Why take that chance. A hi or hello doesn't have the same effect. I didn't like him anyway at first glance, so it didn't really matter, but maybe he would have been a great conversationalist and got me interested, who knows. That's just me. Even if he were handsome, I probably would have treated the situation the same way, because I'm not swayed by just looks. He wasn't ugly, just average looking but his approach turned me off to even want to engage any further.

This is just not true. I see older ordinary looking women getting stuff paid for but usually by men they know or are dating. One doesn't always have to be hot, average looking women are also getting women privileges. Maybe just not as much. And stop saying just for existing. If they weren't in demand or being looked at and gawked at and admired and whatever else, it wouldn't be a thing. I love my cat just for existing. If I was attracted to handsome men I wouldn't say just for existing because there's a reason, I love handsome men. The beautiful women are serving a purpose to those who love them and it's more than just them existing. If you love a beautiful woman just for the way she looks why say she's just existing. If you love a particular shoes or car or clothing, it's the same thing. They all serve a purpose and the beautiful woman to certain people also does - and it could also be just for existing as a beautiful woman. That's not the woman's fault.

I agree with what you're saying and is the best way to go about it. However, there are men who don't mind the opposite (expensive dinner) and even not getting anything in return. Just going out with a woman and spending time that way is enough for some on some occasions if they can afford it. No strings attached. Those men are usually older and have been there done that and usually are already established.

Exactly, that's platonic and with casual friends. That's the way to go, but not on a romantic date where he asked me out. That's what I'm referring to.

If a guy is interested in me romantically and he wants to take me out on a date, why should I have to pay my share. Ridiculous. That's the only time I'm speaking of. If you read my other comments you'll see my stance on who asked who out. To briefly explain, if it's platonic then it all depends on the circumstances and if someone volunteers or offers to pick up the tab.