Lyubov

Don't waste your time

Doesn't sound like you sexually assaulted her at all according to you post. It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong or acted way out of line from what I read.

Well for me I’ve greatly overcome a ton of challenges with socializing, making friends, women and sex. This was not easy. I’m 30 now and much of my teens and first half of my 20s I was a gamer and deeply depressed and full of shame. I’m incredibly proud and grateful for what I’ve m accomplished, basically getting as good with women as I have and being able to hang with just about any guy making videos on YouTube how to pick up women. This was incredibly hard and basically took almost ten years of massive amounts of exposure to experience, lots of inner work, therapy, psychedelics, etc. Things really started getting good for me after I did Ayahuasca three years ago but this was maybe the hardest experience of my life to go through. It was an incredibly confusing and new experience especially and I did not have support coming out of it so I would say I was one of the people that comes out of such experience really messed up and needing help. I was able to get it and I built my life back up again and I’ve made such massive changes looking back over the last several years. I would say therapy helps me a ton. I’m grateful I have someone to work with that I find so incredibly beneficial. I think psychedelic assisted therapy is probably the most powerful treatment for a consistent chronic mentally ill person but unfortunately it’s not really available in many places and we are still in the Wild West when it comes to this stuff. I would greatly advise against just going to a cowboy shaman if you haven’t done the container work to find a support network and trained professionals who have tripped before as well that can help you work through this. I honestly am so grateful I just so happened to have the resources in place to get this container together and integrate and regroups after tripping several times, some people go for some sort of emotional healing and just get lost in this dogma and world and god help them, they end up usually really crazy and kinda fucked up for a long time. You can see such people running around on this forum especially in the spirituality section. I would say don’t take grounding and your reference points for granted. They are kinda double edged sword. On one hand they sorta hold to the past and keep stuff from being let go but on the other they bring a sense of realness and balance and a “foundation” to change. Gotta pitch the tent somewhere. At this stage in my life I recommend therapy, exercise, exposing oneself to lots of experience and MAYBE tripping in a safe and trusted setting with approved facilities, facilitators and holistic mental health experts to work with after. I tend not to recommend solo retreats, meditation retreats or reckless drug use expecting a cure all.

I’m feeling really sad. My girlfriend feels I’m not taking her serious. We have an issue about moving that I’ve told her I’m mostly committed towards moving with her for work but she is untrusting of me. She wants to move to a totally unrelated place sooner cause she doesn’t wanna be in the city we are in together. I’m not on board for this. She also tells me she feels used by me and that I’m not taking her seriously because I’m happy with my life the way things are and she isn’t. She’s afraid I’ll get bored of her and leave. We spoke a bit about long term plans, even if we moved together, and then the next step after that and she was hurt to hear that I don’t have my life planned out and that I’m somewhat unambitious and she wasn’t as big of a factor in the equation. She’s been pushing me to do more which I finally am and now she seems sorta weary and resentful that the stuff I’m doing isn’t really factoring in our relationship. Basically we are two people on different paths and this is causing a lot of emotional turmoil for us both. I promised I would move with her for her work and I’m open to that but this issue of long term commitment and her just resenting living in this city and she blaming me for it (feels like it), saying she’s only here because of me, etc is heavy to carry. I’m confused and so is she. Both of us are hurting. Praying we can find harmony.

I’ve come to realize I’ve repressed a part of me that is wanting to get physical with other men that want to exert some sort of control in my personal space or disrespect me through words. I’ve realized violence and anger are sort of disowned as unspiritual when in fact this is not true. Embracing violence and using it consciously is actually part of the whole and it’s necessary for self defense. I’m currently in decent shape but I’m going to get stronger in the gym. Also thinking of joining martial arts classes to get this energy under control. I don’t want to feel a blockage or a holding back if I have to use physical violence but I also want to be conscious and in control of it and not be a bully. Any guys here master the energy of physical rage and use it in a healthy and protective way without it corrupting you or having to disown it or becoming “trigger happy” ? I think martial arts is probably the best path for expressing this energy.

They cover a lot of the usual stuff here from Ayahuasca/MDMA to therapy to fathers to the role of masculinity. It's pretty interesting!

wow never thought of this one either, great! love hitting some drums. it's not too hard either to play some big african drum like a djembe with my hands.

They had psychological tests for working at the grocery store here… unbelievable. It felt invasive too. I would lie to get a job if I had to. I need to eat.

I would talk to a therapist. I think you are a fine person but it will help a lot and make you feel more comfortable around people. What it sounds to me is like that somewhere in your life you were hurt by people and you formed all sorts of beliefs to keep yourself safe and now you feel resistance, anger and pain when you are pressed to get close and intimate. Totally normal reaction. Talking about it will make you feel more comfortable and passionate to get closer to people and you will find yourself having less defensive thoughts your life will improve and you will soon be writing how much you enjoy getting close to women (or men)

This is actually a great idea and really satisfying too.

Oh yeah I understand you, I think they are violent cause they have to do with punching, kicking and harnessing anger/passion in class to do well at then but they are not the kind of violence you are talking about which is destructive and non consensual .

I think It should be expressed physically in a healthy way. I’m thinking martial arts for mastering this energy and physical exercise/sports like wrestling, boxing, weight lifting, etc are the best bet. I want to join a gym for this and consciously harness it and transform it through physical activity. Im looking right now at kick boxing and martial arts.

I rarely even interact with such people. Usually they are out of my life if I come across something I don’t like.

Hey man, I think I’ve found a way. I’m talking to a therapist again via zoom so that has actually helped a ton. I’ve realized some hardships I’m proud to have overcome in other domains of life still have kinda seeped into this domain. So I’m kinda working through the same old stuff but from a different perspective this time. Feeling like a failure but instead of it having to do with being bullied in school or family issues it is now about career and money. Since I’ve already greatly overcome the forever I feel hopeful I’ll change my relationship with money, creativity and career stuff and feel motivated to make the switch soon. Basically I’m going to write down everything that interests me, both practical jobs and impractical dreams. I have practical ideas which I think would be cool but I feel sorta shoehorned and not as inspired by these roles. My less practical stuff are what dreams are made of for me (online content creator) but this is where the fear of failure comes in. So I sorta have two general camps, stuff I sorta see a road towards and can practically transition to and stuff that is more abstract and wishful thinking. From there I’m going to make a list of skills and action steps that would potential be required to start materializing this stuff. From there I will narrow it down and choose one of each. Choose the practical switch to focus on and then the more wishful dream to focus on as well. Then do that. I will prioritize one I’ve the other and then focus on the second when I’m tired of focusing on the first. Ive noticed people can really only focus on one thing at a time and then focus on a second thing when they need a break from the first. So from here I’m in the stages of just narrowing down what I’m interested in, contemplating action steps, working with what emotions come up and then doing it all!

I feel so resentful right now. I feel tricked. I feel like I was tricked to fall in love. And there are some things I just fucking hate so much about this woman. I resent them and hate them and I don’t care. I want them to know that and I want them to hurt. I will literally throw out all logic and rationality and fairness and integrity just to tell them how much I fucking resent and hate them and think they are fucking scum. I hate them so much. But then I love them so much, more than any girl I have before. I am not even going to try and figure it out. Just tired of thinking. Feeling now. Sitting with it and letting go of control. I fucking resent them so much and even if the path they were on was totally separate from me and maybe soon our paths will diverge, I fucking hate them and want revenge for them tricking me into falling in love with them. I detest this person for what they have made me feel and what they have put me through and I want them to hurt even more than me as revenge. Fuck them so hard, piece of shit. Just letting my inner child vent here. Kinda scary to let these feelings have space and talk but I think it’s healthy and keeps from some super angry fight where I’ll say things I will regret. Feels good to be petty in writing and just write from really raw places of anger and pain. I think it’s good to let out these raw feelings in writing.

Well, we are living in some of the most peaceful times ever. WWII was a huge lynch pin for the world realizing that war has got to be phased out from conflict resolution. And since then it has gone down. I'm not saying humanity is free from it but I would say it comes from learning communication skills and alternatives to violence where everyone's needs are met. We have to simultaneously build a world where everyone's needs are met as well as have the institutions that facilitate proper communication between conflicting sides. We are making progress slowly in all areas here regardless of what the news has told you. We are living in some of the most least violent times.

It's tricky cause the paradigm of being "good enough" is just setting one up for later failure. You'll always find yourself on the scale you've used towards others to judge their value. My sort of approach to game is much more inner/body based so for me I've largely resolved this conundrum by changing the channel and creating my own paradigm that works for me. I don't supplicate and when I game it isn't about impressing or being different to win their approval but rather do it as a game or an act of giving, fulfilling their needs. It's kinda hard to put into words for me but I'm sorta comfortable with these paradoxes and I just don't overthink them, rather appreciate and have fun with them. It's all about being in the present moment for me and just moving sexual/penetrative energy outward of my body when I game. I would fill your mind with stuff that gets your mind off of this. More body based approaches when you're around women and then just go from there and make your desires clear to them. Overthinking stuff like this won't resolve it. Exposure to experience and getting the results you want will.

Hasan is entertaining but he is kinda the left wing zoomer equivalent of Rush Limbaugh

Some of y'all need to stop simping so hard for Leo. Yes it's his site but it's a bit embarrassing. It's simple... if you not black you don't say n*****, especially if you from the USA. Maybe when some stuff changes in the future things wont be so PC and ridiculous. But as of now, that is not where we at. It's common curtesy.

They don't necessarily. You've made assumptions and are presuming a lot. When it comes to social skills, people act very different and it's due to a wide range of factors why they act the way they do.

OP is allowed to feel angry about it. The video was made 6 years ago though so times have even changed a bit since then. Things are super PC now. Even using it in a classroom setting is too touchy and inappropriate these days. Maybe when race stuff calms down and is resolved things won’t be as touchy as it is now but who knows?

I kinda cringe laughed myself ?

The Colossus of Rhodes was also a very interesting and ancient wonder if the world for it's time. Pretty incredible they could build something like that so long ago with what would not be considered incredibly primitive.

Has this episode come out? I’m in Russia and I’ve probably encountered more scamming here than ever before. It’s almost worked into everyday culture. A dentist literally made up a lie I had cavities so he could drill in my mouth and get some cash. Went to a friend dentist and they told me my mouth had zero cavities. Private clinics will literally run bullshit tests and scare patients into getting treatment they don’t need. It’s insane. At best you lose some cash to some benign treatment, at worst they ruin your perfectly healthy teeth for some cash. Fuck them honestly.

just went through a breakup? very, very painful stuff. sorry.