Verg0

Great shows that were not recommended yet: Casshern Sins (dystopia, what does it mean to be human, what is death) Ergo Proxy (what does it mean to be me?) Texhnolyze (Nihilism) Haibane Renmei (what is heaven, life and death, culture, angels) Kaiba (what is memory, who am I) [more spiritual] The Tatami Galaxy (is there a perfect life) [very spiritual, just a masterpiece] Kino no Tabi (travel, freedom, belief systems) [similar to Mushishi] Great movies: All Satoshi Kon Movies Tekkon Kinkreet Tenshi no Tamago Night is short, walk on girl

Great recommendations, thank you! I really love Mushishi Here are some great philosophical / spiritual anime: Barakamon (Peaceful living, life purpose) NHK ni Youkoso! (Social anxiety and life as a nerd) Casshern Sins (dystopia, what does it mean to be human, what is death) Ergo Proxy (what does it mean to be me?) Monster (Morality, Life and Death, psychology) Serial Experiments Lain (ideas about the internet in 1998) Texhnolyze (Nihilism) Shinsekai yori (Growing up, culture) Haibane Renmei (what is heaven, life and death, culture, angels) [more spiritual] Kaiba (what is memory, who am I) [more spiritual] Ping Pong the Animation (Mastery, life purpose) The Tatami Galaxy (is there a perfect life) [very spiritual, just a masterpiece] Kino no Tabi (travel, freedom, belief systems) [similar to Mushishi] Great movies: All Satoshi Kon Movies Saint☆Oniisan (Movie) Tekkon Kinkreet Tenshi no Tamago Night is short, walk on girl

Part of my Life Purpose is that I want to lead people to the realization of Infinite / Divine Love and Infinite Self-Understanding, but first I need to define it clearly for myself, have realizations into the nature of it and embody these things in my own life more. My questions: How do you define Self-Understanding for yourfelf? How do you define Infinite Love? How do you realize / awaken to Infinite Self-Understanding and Infinite / Divine Love? What are you doing daily to integrate and embody these realizations? How I define Self-Understanding so far (I have formulated it in the form of affirmations): Self-Understanding is the Awareness of Truth. I understand myself/ my Self as God, as infinte consciousness, as that which is unlimited, one and self-created. I am Truth. Therefore I recognize that I am always already free. My true nature is bliss. I am worthy. I realize that infinite abundance is always here. I do not lack anything. Joy and fulfillment are natural to me. I am able to do what I want when I want. I am at peace I am in alignment. I have got an understanding of my own capabilities, character, feelings and motivations. I know who I am. I am Love. From being in harmony with God, I recieve wisdom. Wisdom is the power to percieve Truth and the ability to make the best us eof the knowledge of Truth. How I define Divine Love so far: Absolute, Infnite, Divine Love is the essence of Truth, Consciousness, God, Reality and my Self. It is ablolute acceptance of everything. I love everything and everybody. Love is the Awareness of the beauty of creation. Love is Selflessness. The purpose of my life is to love. I love all men as God. Everything that happens in the universe, happens to maximize Love. Love is having a vision for my life and a vision of what I can offer to mankind. Absolute, Infinite, Divine Love is unconditional. I am unconficionally loved by God. What I already do: Daily meditation, affirmations, being in nature, journal, doing psychedelics, reading books, meeting like-minded people, be as loving, accepting and present as I can What I want to do now: Create a specific vision of myself embodying these things, study spiritual texts, do reatreats (darkeness, vipassana, isolation, psychedelic), try fasting, get a mentor Do you have any more ideas? How are you guys doing it? What kind of intentions do you set for a psychedelic journey when you want to explore these themes? Thank you for your time, I really apprechiate it.

'What does it mean to love someone?' I just came to the realization that I have never defined it for myself and now I am contemplating it. I also find it difficult to distinguish between universal Love and loving someone in a relationship (or to integrate the lessons from divine Love into my relationship). So what does it mean to you to love someone?

Heyy! I just met a woman at a little healing gathering a month ago and we started to connect very quickly. After the week ended we started to spend a lot of time together and we got to know each other on a deeper level. What comes up a lot when we spend time together is that she feels like I am hurting her through my words and actions. Even though my intentions are purely to love her in her being and support her on her way, she still feels like I am holding her back or I am mean or just focusing on myself and at the same time harrasing her in some way. She often gets very very emotional (even with little things I don't even recognize) and I don't know how to deal with it. In these situations I get very quiet and meditative because I just don't see the significance of giving these 'problems' the importance that she expects me to give them. I don't want to give up my sense of peace and happiness for petty little problems that an ego mind is clinging to, so I just stay in my space of peace. I think a relationship is a beautiful mirror and a very good chance to reflect on my behavior and become more aware and conscious in everyday life. So I thought I would start to work on my communication skills and learn a lot about relationships and sex to develop and improve myself in that area. I'm at a point in my life where I have a lot of freedom and I am in the researching phase of realizing my life purpose. But I can't improve my relationship skills instantly overnight. So on the one hand I take responsibility for my actions and try to improve myself and our connection but on the other hand I see in her a deeply traumatized person that is very sensitive, gets easily mad and angry, holds on to the past, doesn't love herself, doesn't even want to take responsibility or improve/learn/self actualize/become more spiritually aligned and has a completely different worldview and slightly different values than myself. That part triggers me because in my last relationship I spend 3 years trying to inspire my partner to go on that journey with me and it got to the point where I realized that it will not happen, no matter what I do because I cannot change another person. And now the same dilemma comes up for me again. I want to love her unconditionally but at the same time I feel a deep 'wish' in myself (or I have the expectation?) that I want to create a vision with a partner that is also passionate about Self-Understanding, the embodiment of Love and spiritual practice or Self Actualization. And I don't know why, but I feel the desire to help her, support and give her the tools so that she can heal herself to match my (or hopefully 'our' ) vision more. Another thing I noticed in myself is that I have the fear of hurting someone else. So I tend to hold my full potential back and/or sacrifice myself for the well being of another person. I guess that is something I need to work through. And now I'm at a point where I don't know what to do or say to her anymore (yes I tried to communicate everything I just said here with her). I don't even know how to think about the situation, because everytime I try to think about it (or everytime I am in the situation where she get's so emotional) my mind goes straight into silence (which is also a beautiful thing I guess haha, but not really practical). And the last thing is that I don't really feel needy or like I need a partner in my life right now, because I want to focus my attention on my life purpose (which is also something that requires that I need to spend time alone and do solo retreats or move to a different place etc.). But again, I can also imagine to go on that journey in a relationship where we lift each other up. Thanks for reading! If you have any thoughts or questions about more details, please feel free to answer! I would really appreciate it. Verg0

Well ... my experiments with NN-DMT continue and now it really opens me up and starts to improve my life in a radical way. For now 7 days I used it every day. The intention was to "mircodose" it every morning and see what happens. Well, they were more like low-dose trips, sometimes really strong, sometimes weak. The routine I follow at the moment is like that: Wake up, breathe consciously, be grateful, listen to worship music, vape DMT. Then when I feel the effects I start to read out my value definitions and affirmations and it works so damn well. I start to feel the words and I start to become what I say. So when I say: " I am Truth. I understand my Self as God, as infinite consciousness, as that which is unlimited, one and self-created. I am Love" etc., it just brings tears to my eyes or leaves me in silence or awe. Also the gratitude really intensifies drastically. Then I go into Mediation. What I noticed is that I am much more present, diciplined and motivated throughout the day. I effortlessly journal, read, exercise, work on my vision or on side projects and I am not so tired. It just fills me up with life-force itself for the whole day. I am feeling more peaceful, focused and enjoy everything that happens (Well, I already had these qualities before but now they unfold even more). Another reason that this is that way could also be that I am not working at a 9-5 anymore at the moment ( Quit when I started this experiment) So I am kind of "free" for the first time in my life and can invest my time as I want to because I am living with my parents again. Everthing feels more alive and magical. So the "mircodosing" works great for me, I will continue it a little bit and then take a break for a month or so to see what happens. Now to the second thing: 3 of these 7 days I took another, stronger dose of DMT later in the day and now I also start to get a different feeling from these trips. I have done all of them in nature which was a great choice! I also started to keep my eyes open, what I did not so in my first few attempts at home. The last one today was just ..... yeah ... how do I describe it I got "sucked into the forest/sea". I just thought "Wow, wow, wow, wow...." and I looked and looked and looked, trying to understand what just happened, but I could not. I was just in awe. It was pure magic. Everything kind of "looked" at me and everything looked very very similar, kind of the same. I looked at it and thought is THAT consciousness?? OF COURSE IT IS!!! It felt like another dimension, but I knew it was just the sea and the forest I was looking at. When I looked into the sky, I was again just in wonder. So free. So infinite. So peaceful, even if it was a strong experience and I heard that weird sound that I get from higher doses of DMT in the background. It´s so fascinating, interesting and magical. I want to explore it more and more. Is that an addictive behavior? Am I overdoing it? It certantly doesn´t feel that way and I can definetly live without it. But it fascinates me so much that I am so curious that want to explore it more. I am generally really good at letting go, surrendering and accepting. I can intergrate and work through my psychedelic experiences very well. DMT just gives me no hardcore insights like LSD or Ayahuasca, but just pure magic. Really interesting. I will report and share further experiences and experiments here in the forum Funny side note: Now I get this unique taste of the vape every once in a while, which is a good reminder. And sometimes I see very very weak, tiny patterns of geometry randomly. Any thoughts?

True

Sure, experiment and see what works for you. There is quite a bit of research on microdosing LSD, you can read a little bit about that to educate yourself or you just figure it out for yourself

@astrokeen Thanks for your kind concerns! Not really, maybe that I am loving life more than ever. I have a very loving and unproblematic relationship with my parents. We spend a few hours a day together and have a lot of fun and good conversations every day. They are a bit concerned (in a loving, caring way) about my use of psychedelics but they accept it (but they don´t know how often or when I am doing it and they don´t want to know it). To other people I am relating totally normal. Maybe a bit more authentic. Yes, I am exercising every day (more than ever) and I am eating more healthy than ever. Yes I will do that and already did it yesterday. I think I am done with the microdosing, but I will continue to take a trip every few days. I will also take a 2 week long break, because I will be traveling a little bit. At the moment it just feels like an extreme cold shower, or like visiting the greatest teacher in the universe. I just jump into the ocean of infinite Beauty every once in a while and remember how precious this life is. How beautiful this existance is. What a gift it is to be alive. What a miracle it is that we are not only part of this Infinite Beauty and Love but that we are IT.

@h inandout Thanks for your ideas! I guess I will have to try things out and find good mentors to learn from

With the Life Purpose course I have learned very much about myself, my values and my strenghts. But where I lack clarity is in what skills do I want to invest in to give back to the world? How do I want to radiate Love? How am I gonna manifest my Love? The only things I am really passionate about at the moment are: Self-Understanding, Love, Psychedelics, Gratitude, being in Nature, Self-Actualization/ Personal Development and stuff that comes with that (Mediation, Reading, etc.) My top 5 strenghts are: 1. Honesty and Autheticity 2. Curiousity and interest in the world 3. Spirituality, Sense of purpose, faith and trust 4. Forgiveness and Mercy 5. Gratitude I just don´t know how I can utilize these strenghts to build a valuable skill that I can offer to the world. I am trying to build skills for my Life Purpose/career at the moment. I have a lot of time at the moment and am free to explore whatever I want to do with my life, because I have saved up some money and live with my parents. So how do I go best about this? How do I find a medium that I am passionate about? I want to express and communicate the Love I feel, the lightness, peace and positivity of life, the Truth of God and the power of using Psychedelics. I would love to work with psychedelics, but I don´t know where to begin when I want to create my own psychedelic retreat center where I educate people about and guide people through their own psychedelic experiences and help them integrate and embody their insights in their own life. (my ultimate vision) I thought about volunteering at an ayahuasca or psylocibin center to see if that work resonates but that´s not possible at the moment because the borders are closed (Covid-19). Any thoughts about that? How can I express myself authentically and eventually help people see the Goodness and Magnitude of God/Love? And how can I make money doing that?

I use them simply because they are by far the most effective tool I discovered for Self-Actualization and Self-Transcendence

@Espaim Thanks for your reply! Yeah, I think I will slow down a little bit, even if it affects me in a very different way than most people (well .. maybe that´s true for everybody ). It doesn´t mindfuck me too much yet, for now it is just pure beauty and magic. But I will still take it a bit slower, I feel that the vape is really not so good for my lungs.

I have one true friend right now. It is kind of a blessing to have someone to connect with that is somewhat on the same page. I like to spend time with like minded people. What do I get out of the relationship? Fun, laughter, someone to experience adventures with, great conversations and a different perspective. I guess the question "Why do I need friends?" only you yourself can anwser. I think it´s different for everybody. You can build connections with people who are deeply connected to your heart, who you can trust and support and who you genuinely want to be happy or if it feels right for you to live in solitude at the moment (or for the rest of your life) then do that. Follow your heart.

I decided to start building a brand or rather just showing presence and sharing my insights about Psychedelic use and Spirituality on YouTube or through a blog. The question that comes to my mind is: Should I do it in my native languange (german) or in english? On english it has more potential to reach more people in general On german it is certainly more niche (which could also be a good thing .. I guess) My pronunciation skills on english are not the best ... I understand everything (I even think on english most of the time) but it´s not so easy to formulate ideas in a sophisticated way I would like to practice my english skills anyway Maybe I want to offer coaching or something similar at some point in the future, but I am not sure if I am confident enough to do that in english I really like the english vocabulary, much easier to find some good descriptions on english (translated to german some words sound just really weird)

I think I´ll go with English. Already have a German Channel with my mate

I think there is no meaning to this. You give it meaning.

Do you guys yawn a lot in your psychedelic experiences? I sometimes (but not always) yawn a lot on high dose mushroom experiences or low dose DMT trips. What´s up with that yawning, it kind of distracts me sometimes

Awesome! I will slowly work my way up to the higher doses, highest I have done were 250ug. For me the thing with LSD is that it gets deeper and deeper after each trip and after gaining more understanding. How is your life never gonna be the same again? What will you do to integrate the experience?

@Bazooka Jesus Haha nice! Thanks for your reply!

@Leo Gura Thanks, looking forward to that! It already hints at it a little bit.

Great work! Really apprechiate the effort you put into it as a video creator myself