Tristan12

I took a DNA test with ancestry.ca years ago. I've never met my dad before and I didn't know exactly where he was from so I wanted to take a DNA test. Turns out I am 43% Indian, 7% South/Central Asia (Dad's side) and 29% Welsh plus a mix of English, Scottish, Swedish and Norwegian. I knew my Mum was Welsh but I didn't know about the other countries.

This is spiritual bypassing just so you know. You're using some spiritual truth to try and avoid your emotions. Even if you become conscious of solipsism, you still have social anxiety and whatever other emotional issues may come with that (self-esteem issues, trapped shame from childhood). Becoming conscious of solipsism doesn't resolve those, it just covers them up. Resolve your social anxiety on a human level first, where it still seems like other people are real, then become conscious of solipsism. Don't use it as a crutch.

Nas was crazy good, probably my favourite. Biggie had probably the best flow. Big L the best punchlines. I loved Mobb Deep and Gang Starr too

At the very least at least we got some info about GTA 6 after waiting for so long. It sounds like the map could be based on the state of Florida, which i'm super psyched for because I always wanted a newer GTA game to be based in Miami, but I didn't think it would happen because they already had Vice city. I hope they add crazy Florida man mechanics like NPCs shooting at hurricanes and things like that lol. I wasn't planning on playing more video games in my life but if GTA 6 is based on Florida then it will be very tempting.

@LSD-Rumi Yeah, it sounds similar to how the self-critic works. When a person constantly criticizes themselves and talks down to themselves, its a part of them that is replicating what parents or other people have said to them early in their lives for the sake of trying to keep them from doing anything wrong, to keep them from being shamed or disapproved of by people, and as a result keep them safe. This sounds like a more severe and extensive version of that. When you talk about the negative emotions you're experiencing that also sounds like a part of you that is really hurt and is crying out for help. You say that its OCD. I don't know that much about that so i'm not sure exactly what it is that you have (if it's more than just what you described of lots of overwhelming negative thoughts and emotions), but what I do know is that its generally a good idea to treat any kind of mental or emotional issue with the assumption that your mind/every part of you is on your side, its not trying to hurt you, and it is doing whatever it's doing for a good reason. If you don't understand why your mind is doing this or what positive intention it could possibly have, just know that odds are that it truly isn't trying to hurt you, and it will make things much easier for you to deal with if you see and approach yourself and your emotions with this assumption. This way you won't be fighting yourself and trying to eradicate this part of yourself and instead you will be a lot more compassionate and understanding. There is probably some deep healing that needs to happen, but developing compassion towards these parts of yourself, releasing resistance to them, and not thinking of it as a disease/something wrong with you is probably the best way to deal with it in the mean time.

Your mind must have some sort of good reason for doing that, I doubt that it's just trying to hurt you. It would be interesting to explore that through the lens of parts work or IFS

Didn't you say something a while ago about how on 5-MeO your sexual fantasies become so real and vivid that they are as good as or better than real sex? Or something along those lines?

Yeah I might try doing that instead once i'm able to

Over the past few years I have been staying up all night and sleeping during the day. I much prefer being awake at night and working then because I love the dark and peaceful atmosphere. I feel like it's perfect for inner work. I've been going to bed at 6am and waking up around 2:30pm. I'm concerned about it possibly being unhealthy to do this. I've done some research on if this could be bad for my health, and from what I heard it seems like getting enough sleep and sleeping at the same time every day is the most important part, which I do, but I've heard varying ideas on if being awake all night and sleeping during the day is actually bad for you. I have noticed that I wake up a lot while I sleep which I never used to do before, although I don't have any trouble getting back to sleep and I feel well-rested when I wake up. The room I sleep in is dark but there is some noise throughout the day because I live with other people but that should change when I eventually get my own place. I'm wondering if anyone on here knows much about sleep and if it would be bad for my health to continue to sleep like this?

damn right

I'm more drawn towards being in nature but I also really love the utility of technology. My ideal situation would probably be living somewhere out in nature, but not too far from a town so that it's not hard to get food and whatever else I need. I would also have my laptop and phone and anything else for the sake of doing my work, but I would try to stay away from distracting things like video games, entertainment, social media (other than for work) and things like that. Technology can be really helpful for doing inner work because it makes it so much easier to write down and organize insights, it gives you access to the internet which can allow you to learn so much, and you can use technology to save you time and make things easier so you can spend more time on what's important. I think its just important to not get carried away and not get sucked into all of the distractions of technology and modern society. I would also love to be out in nature and away from people, as it is so much more peaceful and I think so much more conducive to doing inner work. So in my opinion a balance of nature and technology is ideal.

I agree, I love the trip report videos

Love, but I guess that's what real heaven is

I love how you refer to incest as just Alabama lmao

Yeah absolutely That's really awesome! That's really interesting, what have you gotten from it so far?

I love the fray too. I've only really listened to the how to save a life album, but the song how to save a life is so nostalgic to me because I used to always hear it playing as a kid. That song and a bunch of other songs on that album have this really comforting and loving feel to them, and I've felt so much love and cried so much listening to them

I know Leo should sue that guy for copyright

Start by contemplating that question itself. Otherwise just watch Leo's videos on more practical topics and he will give you a lot to think about. He often offers thought experiments and questions to contemplate in those videos. Here's a video where he offers a variety of really great questions to contemplate:

@Leo Gura I wanted to share this quote with you, not sure if you've seen it already. I feel like it does a really good job of incapsulating the entire spiritual journey and the point of life, and as a result the entirety of your work and teachings. "You have no idea how hard I've looked for a gift to bring You. Nothing seemed right. What's the point of bringing gold to the gold mine, or water to the ocean. Everything I came up with was like taking spices to the Orient. It's no good giving my heart and my soul because you already have these. So I've brought you a mirror. Look at yourself and remember me.” - Rumi Through your work you're just giving everyone mirrors, or rather, I am giving myself a mirror through you

If you need someone to talk to about your situation, PM me. Just wanted to say I really respect that you're offering this Leo considering that you probably already have so many other people taking up your time managing this forum and all

That just gave me a massive mind-fuck. So you're looking through my eyes right now as my present experience is happening, and I'm looking through your eyes as your experience is happening (or so I imagine for now). The experiencer of "Tristan's life" and the experiencer of your life and everyone else's are one and the same, so there is only one experiencer - I suppose that's the Self. I've heard about that before but thinking about it in that way is crazy.

Imagine if there was some sort of healing centre you could go to for emotional issues where all it consisted of was you getting showered with God’s unconditional love, and the love was so deep and so profound that it healed you completely, and that was all you ever needed. I want to aim to create the next best thing with my work. I want any healing processes and techniques I create to be deeply rooted in existential love, and to ultimately just be a way of showering yourself with love in the places you need it. Love is really the only thing you need for any kind of healing, it's just a matter of giving it to yourself in the places you need it so that it touches you deep enough to actually create real transformation. A lot of healing techniques are already based on being loving and compassionate towards yourself but the love doesn't touch you as deeply as it needs to. That's what I'm going to figure out how to do.

I haven't gone too deep into Goggins and his story and work to really provide a solid opinion, but out of what I've seen from the content of his I've consumed, I think a lot of his lessons are really valuable, but I think a lot of the way he is comes from his upbringing and is largely a survival adaptation and an avoidance of his shadow. Because of this, his teachings aren't grounded in any solid, healthy, high-consciousness type of development, and so I think a lot of the way he is can be quite destructive and toxic, at least if you care about being high-consciousness. I think if you know how to sort the wheat from the chaff with the things he says, and refrain from going overboard and doing anything destructive with yourself, then you can definitely get a lot of value from him. I don't know if you've heard of Andy Frisella, he has a business podcast (the MFCEO), and he has quite a similar approach and attitude to Goggins. I used to listen to his podcast a lot when I was more stage orange. Now that I have grown past that, I still revisit his podcast sometimes as there is a lot of value I can get from it in terms of building a strong work-ethic and strategies for succeeding in business, but I recognize the destructive and lower-consciousness sides to him and the things that he talks about and I just ignore those things. I think if you know what is valuable and what things to ignore then you can definitely get a lot of value from people like Goggins and Andy. (They have a podcast episode together by the way.).

I relate to this a ton. I find over the past few years I dislike people in general more and more and I just want to get away from them. I think part of it is that I have gotten so deep into personal development and I have such high standards for myself, for the way I act, for the values I hold, etc. and it seems that the more I improve and develop, the more I notice the issues and toxicity in the people around me. It wouldn't be so bad if they were actively making an effort to improve themselves and took responsibility for their actions, but they don't, they just run a muck with their toxic bs, and it is just so extremely frustrating dealing with it all the time. Then everyone around me is constantly attacking me for the way I am, telling me something is wrong with me and telling me I should be more like a normal person. It's like everything I do is wrong in the average person's eyes and I can't just be free to be who I am. I just despise people more and more and want to get away from them. At this point I love being alone so much not just because I am an introvert, but because I feel free to let my guard down and be myself without anyone trying to tell me i'm wrong or get me to change. My goal is to set my life up in a way where I can minimize interaction with normal people, have some relationships with people who are similar to myself if possible, but spend most of my time alone where I'm free to be myself and do the things I love. I love alone time more than I ever have at this point in my life. I know its not sustainable to go through life despising people and wanting to get away from them this much, so I do want to work on being less reactive to the way people are and being more accepting of them, so that i'm able to be around them when I need to be, but I still fantasize of a life where I can be in my own bubble, doing personal development, spiritual work, and all the things I love without anyone trying to take it away from me. @Yarco If you're this way yourself, and you're a bit older, I'm interested to hear: how have you coped with this in your life so far and how have you set up your life to work around this?