Tristan12

This is something I've been working on lately. I know a lot about the things I am passionate about, but there are other areas in life that I'm not so interested in which i am very ignorant about. I want to get into the habit of learning as much as I can about anything and everything so that I can become very knowledgable and well educated in general. To do this of course requires that I develop some level of curiosity and desire to learn about these topics. Now whenever I have a question or wonder about something, I will try to search it up, get the answer and remember it, and I've noticed that as I do this more and more, it becomes really satisfying to get the answers to every little thing I wonder about, and it just makes me want to keep learning and wondering more and more. For example a few weeks I was driving over those bumps on a highway that make noise and I was wondering what they are and how they make noise. Rather than just forgetting about it, I searched it up. Turns out they're called rumble strips, and they make noise because they are small indents in the pavement which creates a sound when you drive over them. There are different types of rumble strips with names for different placements, and they can also be created in different ways (indented or raised). I feel like the more you put in an effort to wonder about things and then do the research to answer your questions, the more you will want to continue to learn and do that, because learning is actually a really fun and satisfying thing, (not just about the things you love, but about anything). Try to find positives and interesting things about the topics that bore you or that you have no curiosity about. You will eventually realize that there is something interesting in everything. Try to relate new topics to other topics you're already interested in. For example, one of the things I've started to research and learn about lately which I had no interest in before was history. Turns out history is basically a whole bunch of fascinating stories with a lot of wisdom and lessons to learn (either explicitly mentioned or you have to look for them), just like if I was consuming some personal development content, which I already love. Becoming more curious, from my experience, seems to really be about having a positive outlook on any topic and looking for what you can find interesting about something, rather than immediately dismissing whatever doesn't immediately peak your interest. Keep wondering and asking questions, keep giving yourself answers, see how satisfying and fun it is to learn, and let the passion and excitement build.

@Leo Gura okay, thanks

@TheOneReborn I'm not talking about spiritual development, I'm asking about how Leo reaches the depths of understandings he has about anything in life, specifically with more practical life advice topics. I feel like its more straightforwards with spirituality on how to gain deep understandings since you have psychedelics and spiritual practices and things like that.

@puporing That's a great share, thanks, but how do you access this higher intelligence and bring it into your day to day life? Out of the awakenings I've had, I've never really accessed any crazy levels of intelligence, or accessed universal intelligence (that I know of) so i'm not sure how to access that or bring it into my life and use it for day to day things?

What happened?

Technically God is the one here experiencing the suffering because the ego is just an illusion, but I get your point. It doesn't seem that way at all when you're an ego and you never consented to experiencing all the suffering of life, and there is no awareness that you're actually God who is wanting it

The ratio of pleasure/pain doesn't matter. It does from a human/survival perspective, but not from God's perspective. From God's perspective, all that matters is love, and because God loves everything, God wants to experience everything, so every experience is a win. Because of God's love, God wants to experience the highest highs, the lowest lows, and everything in between. Existentially speaking, there is no such thing as a bad, undesirable or negative experience. There only is from the point of view of an ego.

I remember one time I was listening to Leo's episode "what is perception?" and he was talking about exactly this. I remember I started to become conscious of it as I was listening to it, and at the time I was driving, and I remember all the sudden it was like there was just a road, but there was no one driving. There was this car moving down a road and that was it. Nobody was experiencing it. It was the coolest and most beautiful mind-fucking thing. It made me think of the idea that if a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, does it make a sound? I realized that whenever a tree falls in a forest, and someone is there experiencing it, there is actually nobody there experiencing it, and the tree is just falling and that's it. If you think of a tree falling somewhere with you not there to experience it, and you're wondering if it makes a sound, all that exists there is an idea of a tree falling somewhere, and no tree actually ever falls anywhere unless it is experienced in your consciousness, and in that case there is no you experiencing it, there is just a tree falling. I also had a similar experience one time while meditating where I realized that there is no me here meditating, and there is no meditating happening at all, there is just consciousness. I'm sorry to hear you don't like this stuff and you almost fainted, I don't know what to tell you about that, I just relate to your experience and I find this stuff really interesting

Lose yourself, Lose yourself in this love. When you lose yourself in this love, you will find everything. Lose yourself, lose yourself. Do not fear this loss, for you will rise from the earth and embrace the endless heavens. Lose yourself, lose yourself. Escape from this earthy form, for this body is a chain and you are a prisoner. Smash through the prison wall and walk outside with the kings and princes. Lose yourself, lose yourself at the foot of the glorious King. When you lose yourself before the King, you will become the King. Lose yourself, lose yourself. Escape from the black cloud that surrounds you. Then you will see your own light as radiant as the full moon. Now enter that silence, this is the surest way to lose yourself. What is your life about anyway? Nothing but a struggle to be someone, nothing but a running from your own silence. - Rumi

My heart and God's heart are the same. My ridiculously deep desire for love over everything else is the same as God's desire for love. I understand how God feels about love, and God understands how I feel about love. Our desires are one and the same. That's why I feel such belonging and so at home with existential love, and why love touches me so deeply and causes such intense reactions within me. PS: don't take this too literally, I have not become fully conscious of God yet and so I don't fully understand God. Everything I said here is just how I feel when I become immersed in existential love, and how I react to it.

There is a lot I want to learn about emotional healing work. I spend a lot of time contemplating the questions I have, and of course I have books, people to talk to and other resources to learn from, but i'm specifically curious about using psychedelics for learning, specifically for questions I have that would be difficult to get answered otherwise. I know that you can of course get some really profound insights from psychedelics, but what I want to know is could I take a psychedelic and then list off a bunch of questions I have and then get them all answered directly? I know that psychedelic insights often come from a journey or experience on the psychedelic that eventually provide an answer, rather than being like if I was to ask someone a question and they give me a direct answer. If I took say mushrooms or ayahuasca or something, is it likely that I could communicate with an entity or just contemplate on my own a list of different questions I have and quickly get answers to them as if I was asking those questions to a real person? The thing that concerns me is how specific and detailed some of my questions are and i'm not sure if they're the kind of thing that psychedelics could provide answers for. Also, i've thought about using psychedelics for the sake of exploring and learning about my shadow and subconscious mind, and to understand how to work with it. The fact that psychedelics can thrust you head first into your subconscious mind seems like it would be such a good way to learn about it and understand it rather than only reading books about it or trying to access your shadow sober. If I had a trip and set the intention to learn about that, is it likely that the psychedelic would show me about my shadow and how it works and basically the entire trip be a detailed learning experience, answering any questions I have? Or is it more likely that I might get some brief or less specific insights and the psychedelic would take me where it wants to go instead? Thanks

Okay. Do you find you are still able to contemplate very specific and nuanced questions while on psychedelics? I get the impression they would be good for more broad questions like what is death or what is consciousness, but I'm not so sure about something very specific. For example I know ayahuasca is known for its healing abilities and I would be curious to take it just for the sake of understanding the psychology behind it and how the healing actually gets created, for the sake of trying to recreate it sober. I don't know how likely it is I'd be able to get that specific of an answer. Also, what psychedelics do you recommend specifically for contemplation? I've heard that some tend to take you where they want and others let you have more control, which i'm guessing is what you'd look for for contemplation. And i'm guessing you wouldn't want too high of a dose, for the sake of still being able to think and use your mind relatively normally?

I'm interested in learning about emotional healing and psychology not just for the sake of healing myself but also just for the sake of having the understanding, since this work is my life purpose and area of mastery and something I want to learn as much as I can about. I'm working on trying to create healing processes that can be used sober, so I'm more interested in using psychedelics to assist in gaining the understandings to figure out how I would do that, rather than using them for healing directly. That's why I'm wondering if I could ask/contemplate very specific and nuanced questions on psychs and still get solid answers.

Thanks for sharing

The weirdest thing just happened. Lately I feel like I am getting really close to finishing healing, like it could happen any day now. As I was working on my healing process, I got this glimpse of the lost part of me that I am trying to integrate at a much deeper level than I usually do. What I saw was that from all the hell and suffering I have been through (which comes from the pain this part of me is stuck in), it felt like this part of me had almost become angelic, like I could feel this golden glow around it, and like this part of me was just dying to love so badly and wanted nothing else. It felt like this is the core piece of my heart I am missing, and that once I integrate it, and this part of me is healed and no longer in pain, nothing will be holding back the love. My heart will be free. Once I saw that, it was like I got a glimpse of what it will be like for me once I heal completely. Nothing will be holding back my love, my heart will be set free, and because my heart is longing for love so fucking badly, that's all it wants to do. As I realized this, the love just got so so strong. Images of lots of things I currently don't like/bother me etc. came to mind and I just didn't care at all. I love them and I want them so badly, it means nothing to me if they bother or hurt me in any way. I love them so much, and i'm crying over how much I want them. I've had lots of times where I have reached deep states of love, and I have cried really hard and it was really beautiful, but this time, when I got a glimpse of what it looks like my heart will become once I heal and nothing is holding back the love, I experienced love like i'd never felt it before. It was easily 10X any love i've ever felt before, it was just so intense. I realized why I have been through so much hell and suffering over the years. The ridiculous depth and strength of the love I could feel here, I could feel it was directly proportionate to all the suffering I have been through. I could tell that the depth of the love I felt here and will feel in the future is only possible because of the depth of the pain I have been through, and how badly my heart wants to love as a result. Every excruciating moment of suffering I have been through, day after day, year after year, is gas thrown on the fire of my heart, and the fire is fucking raging. My heart is like a horse that's been locked in a cramped stall all its life that will finally be set free into an endless field, free to run, and my heart is going to take off. Usually when I get into a deep state love like this and I am crying, it lasts for a minute or two, but then I cool down and get out of it. But this, I just couldn't let go. I started to come down and wipe my tears, but then it just pulled me deeper. I could see what my heart will become once I heal and I just couldn't get over it. It felt like my heart is just going to go mad in love, I could see the potential for it, and I just could not stop crying, for a good 10 minutes. I've never had anything like that ever happen before. Rumi has this quote: "Your heart is cooking a pot of food for you. Be patient until it is cooked". I realize that what I discovered here, what my heart will become once I heal, this is what my heart is becoming, this is this "pot of food". This is the reason why I have been through all the suffering I have. This was God's intention. What will become of my life after this? How will I live? What will I be like as a person? I can't wait to find out. "I am hopelessly in love with you, no point giving me advice. I have drunk love's poison, no point taking any remedy. They want to chain my feet but what's the point when it is my heart that's gone mad!" - Rumi

The ultimate structure of reality explained at 1:16:08

Me too

This is just how Leo teaches, he can be sort of critical sometimes, but in reality you're right, it doesn't make sense to judge a being for being selfish when it was literally made to be selfish. There is nothing wrong for a living being with an ego to be selfish, because its just in our nature, and God loves and understands that completely. Of course to reach God we have to drop that selfishness, but it doesn't mean we have to do it in a condemning manner and judge ourselves for having it in the first place. We can love and empathize with ourselves through all of our selfish ways and thus transcend them through love rather than beating ourselves up about it. People might judge you for being selfish, but God would never do that, because you're exactly right, why create ego if you're gonna judge it. This is why I think the classical definition of karma is BS. Why would the universe design a creature to be selfish and commit devilry and then judge and punish it for being that way? It makes no sense. Of course actions have consequences, and you can do negative or selfish things that then land you in a lot of suffering, but the suffering is not meant as a punishment, its just the result of your actions, and it should help you to make wiser decisions about how you act. The idea of being punished for your negative actions through karma could never work to make a person more loving and less selfish, because then a person would be loving and good out of the desire to avoid negative consequences, which is still a selfish desire. Only when a person stops caring about karma/being punished and is loving just for its own sake, only then would they be truly loving and selfless. Karma makes no sense, especially in a universe that is absolutely loving.

@RickyFitts Oh lol that's funny

All of my favourite songs and artists from different genres. Mostly relaxing and emotional music, consisting mostly of downtempo with some R&B and alternative.

I can totally relate I'm in a pretty similar situation myself. For me i've just made the choice to put up with living at home and just working as much as I can to build a career until I can support myself financially. For me its just a better option than having to slave away at some mindless job to be able to barely cover living expenses, and not having much time to work on my passions. I've manage to sort of distance myself from my family to the extent where I barely talk to them and I just isolate myself as much as I can, and they don't bother me so much now. I still can't wait to move out though. I don't really know what to tell you, this is just genuinely a shitty situation to be in. Hopefully you end up getting a job you like, but if not I guess you'll just have to decide if you want to settle with a job you don't like for a while to be able to live alone, or if you want to live with your parents. You could try to look for some alternative way out like maybe living with friends to lower living expenses, or maybe you could really put your mind to it and come up with some way to land a job that you really like and is perfect for you, but if not then I feel like you'll just have to bite the bullet of a difficult situation and make the most of it, whatever you end up doing. I'm sure long term it will work out, if you're worried about money still being an issue for you later in life, then that's something you can work towards and set goals for, just like any other area of personal development. Start learning about finance and investing and figure out what you can do to make more money for yourself if a job won't be enough for you.

Minecraft and GTA 5. I love open-ended games where I can do whatever I want and be creative. I love Minecraft especially, the creative potential in that game is insane, and its just ridiculously fun.