meow_meow

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Posts posted by meow_meow

  1. Posted · Edited by meow_meow

    15 hours ago, IAmTheHolySpirit said:

    Who feels sick? Who is watching negative emotions? Who is getting deeper into enlightenment?

    You must clarify for the sake of truth. You can't be saying "There is no one to be enlightened" and then assume the identity "I feel sick" and believe these thoughts.

     

    moew_moew (my nickname) feels sick, moew_moew watches his negative thoughts->emotions,moew_moew is getting deeper into elightenment ..  and that god damn emptiness, that moew_moew experienced, is sorta watching this.

  2. Posted

    14 minutes ago, VeganAwake said:

    @meow_meow There is no future destination to arrive at because the one seeking isn't real...

     

    So now what?

    This is quite disturbing actually, I'm getting used to watching as my inner voice is conflicting with itself when inner dialogue occurs and it says for example "I need to go to the bathroom or I need to wash the dishes" I'm aware that there is no I that could wash the dishes but the ego really doesnt like that thought, so an inner conflict arises for some period.. ehh.

  3. Posted

    17 hours ago, Kalki Avatar said:

    @meow_meow Just watch the story about enlightenment getting worse every time you dive deeper into all the unconcious garbage. Even watch the story about the story. Don't fall for the belief that its going to be hell. If you believe that, you kinda might experience it that way. Thats just the veil lifting up. After you cross it you will be in heaven (truth) for a while then fall back into darkness. And thats the journey, lifting the veil so many times, that full liberation is the result after so many trial and error.

    Nevertheless, you still need courage to do this, cuz sometimes you will feel like dying. It takes more courage than going to war. If you ever thought alpha males are courageous, you are kiddin yourself. 

    Thanks for the advice mate, I feel a lot better today.. still a bit lost in thoughts, and todays meditation was a little less pleasant than usual..  also I feel a bit uncomfortable but that's just ego backlash IMO.

    It'll still take a week or so to get used to what 'happened' and I'll continue with my enlightenment work, even tho I hate it at this moment. 

  6. Posted

    Leo likes to call ir a rationalists paradigm and I've used to be hyper-rational (I'm relatively to the avarage - highly educated in law and software engineering) 

    And 'this' shift in awarenees has hit me hard, I have questioned almost every one of my assumptions about everything, and nothing has a true meaning, it's all just a theory, a story, an assumption. Every meaning that there was, was actually just created by me or my family, friends, relatives etc. 

    I'm sorta freaking out, and I'm fully aware of this, which is funny and at the same time scary as hell.

  7. Posted · Edited by meow_meow
    mist

    50 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

    .. There is a point of no return in which enough has been revealed that there is no turning back to the previous immersion in self. ..
     

    To be honest - I feel afraid, it's sorta traumatising and awkward at the same time. It makes no sense, it's like almost this shouldnt be possible, but it's happening right now, How is this possible? I mean.. I cant even explain in words. It feels like shit has hit the fan, and at this point i sorta regret doing enlightenment work at all 

  8. Posted · Edited by meow_meow

    So I've been into self improovement for a year now, and meditating daily for ~7 months
    For the last month I've been doing enlightenment work daily for about ~30 minutes (without psychedelics)  

    I've been trough some really bad times during my story (You can read about it Here If you're interested)

    To be honest - while meditating approx ~5 months into it, I started asking myself questions 'What is this voice in my head? is it a thought? where did it come from? how was it constructed? why is it talking in my native language only? etc'  - basically I got into enlightenment more or less naturally.

    At this point I choose to believe that I'm not awakened nor am I enlightened.
    In fact - I've come to a realization that there's no one to become enlightened.

    There is no me as I use to believe (or simply assume), and on top of that 'I' or 'me' can't get enlightened - if I choose to indentify with this body and the fucking story that was attached to it this whole damn time then only thing that has happened to me is a shitton of shifts in thinking, views and awareness.

    At this point I've realized that I've always been here, everything I assumed was the outter world and inner world is just one.
    Since time is relative I've realized that I was actually never born. (this body was physically born of course)

    Everything is a story, even Leo's theory of enlightenment is a story, god is a story.

    Every damn-thing I believed and assumed to be true has collapsed, my previous thinking and ways of percieving reality is simply smashed into pieces.

    I've thought about death in details, a lot, even contemplated and visualized my death. - Not because of these negative emotions, since I'm not depressed - actually I'm quite happy, and aware of being happy makes me kinda less happy, but still happy. lol

    I feel sick, I'm watching negative emotions flow trough me , and as I'm getting deeper into enlightent it just gets sorta worse.

    And the worst part of this - there is no turning back, I've stopped doing any work besides meditation for a week now, but I guess this is here to stay.

    Thoughts?

  9. Posted

    To be honest, I sort of agree with you.
    I was and still am in this journey of self-development for about a year, and changed 'my life' dramatically (Can read about it here, if interested) 

    When I decided to join this forum, my expectations were that this forum will be full of mindfull, conscious members, who are more or less experienced (atleast done some exercises) in self development. Which unfortunately is not like that. Also some of the unofficial FB groups are full or people who just like to do shrooms and wear hypster clothes and call themselves 'enlightened' which, of course, is far from what it's all about. I've noticed that some members here really like to argue for just the sake of arguing.

    I'm not planning to leave this forum in a 'puberty aged girls manner' like shutting the door so everyone can hear it. But really hope that things will change over time.

     

  12. Posted · Edited by meow_meow

    You probably mean by unatural, that you don't feel confident enough to speak like you would for example with a person you know really good (best friend for example with who you can be yourself)

    If that's the case, well if you're starting something new - you probably suck at it for now (and its perfectly normal), and only by mastering it you can become confident enough in how you're doing it.

    Look at Leo's older videos, he also doesn't appear 'natural' or confident like these days.. in fact take any youtuber/actor who is experienced today, and compare todays videos with the old ones.

    Keep practicing and I'm sure you'll get what you want.

  13. Posted · Edited by meow_meow

    Well is child pornography legal? No.  Does that solve the issue of it's availability on the internet? No.
    Poeople are and have been watching it for decades. And even if it was legal - would you watch it? Probably also no. 

    My point is that by labeling and making something 'bad' or 'illegal' won't make the situation any better.


    It's only out there because there is a (huge) demand for it. The only way to solve this is by teaching or making every individual aware of why it's evil or 'bad' for our society (crippling mental health of children)
    well and of course money has its own role in this too.

  14. Posted · Edited by meow_meow
    added a question

    So I've just started off doing enlightenment work, been doing it for ~30minutes daily for a few weeks now, still new to this anyway. (without psychedelics)

    I've recently come to an emotional realisation that I can't really be my body, neither is the voice in my head true. Neither am I (the story of me) true - comletely fictive/can be changed.

     
    Anyway it's this point that I can't get any further from - 

    How can "my" physical body sense the real 'me' if the real me isn't here?
    Since sight, hearing, smell, taste and touch can only sense physical objects/phenomena .. with what or how .. what techniques to use to develop such sense that can be used to tleast get a little peak 'there'? 

    Also, who's sensing who? Is my voice/physical body and reality something that is being sensed or vice-versa physical me supposed to sense 'real me'  .. 

  16. Posted · Edited by meow_meow

    Hey everyone, 

    So I've been into self-actualization, self-improovement for about a year now. (meditation ~6 months on daily basis) Recently got into enlightenment.
    I just wanted to share with ya'll my story and how Leo (His videos) inspired me (helped me change my mindset) changed my life to the better, and how this started for me.

    So I'm 27 years old currently and it all started approx 1 year ago. -

    I was heavily 'depressed', had suicidal thoughts, had a serious gambling addiction, I hated my job which was a debt collector (Via phone) in a huge corporate company. I had 'problems' with my family (which was only my mother since my parents divorced ~15 years ago) I was overweight and unhealthy. I didn't have a girlfriend (she dumped me) and maybe 1 - 2 people to talk to from time to time. Every day drinker, and I wasn't a stranger to drugs (stimulants, coke, molly)

    But even that didn't get me into self help (I had no idea of what self help even is by that time). How I got into this is actually something I never expected to happen.

    At my workplace the colleagues were mostly (90%) women, and well - they were disrespectfull towards me, since I could never stand up for myself and never had an opinion on my own or 'back-bone' so to speak. People were just walking all over me, And.. we'll eventually I got sick of that and I started searching web for advice of how to handle women.. And what do you know - I stumbled upon - Eliot Hulse (His old videos). 

    So I started watching those, and a lot of his videos included stress relief methods, mindsets (the way of the warrior) etc which of course were very interesting for me at that time since 'my life' was a complete mess. He also talked about working out as a way to release natural anti-depressant hormones - endorphins, so I started working out a little bit, cut back on alcohol as much as I could .. and well - one thing led to another and like a chain reaction (less alcohol, more working out, becoming stonger mentally etc) my life started to get slightly better and I actually felt better (for a while, since ego backlash happened) .. after a while I got back into drinking and drugs again - but it was slightly different this time (this time I was aware of what I'm doing).

    One day feeling like suiciding again I stumbled upon Leo's video 'How societly fucks you in the ass' - (It might be slighlty different) - Which was quite eye opening for me, and from that point I started searcing for more Leo's videos - 'Neurosis, Distraction, How You lie, How to stop being a victim' and other fundamentals of self-help. I was highly sceptical towards this at that time, but anyway - eventually I started applying some exercises into my daily life - 'Visualisations, thought filter (the toughest one IMO), positive self talk' And... Hell it was emotionally hard work - I even cried from time to time lol. 

    Anyway - I lost ~ 10kg = 22lb | Completely shifted carreers (this was extremelly hard) | Now regullary working out in Gym | Currently working on my own business idea | Recently mooved out of my parents, and now living on my own. | I don't feel depressed anymore - since It was mostly because I just sucked ass at managing and being aware of my emotions. And Since I now know and am aware of these emotions - , urges of gambling/drugs/alcohol are close to none or minimal from time to time, but I manage them - by sitting alone in quite room, letting the cravings 'go trough me' untill eventually they pass.

    It's amazing how far you can actually get with this - it's amazing. I've been meditating on daily basis for ~ 6months now. And just got into enlightenmemt.. We'll see where this goes.

    I don't know if Leo is ever going to read this - but I'd like to give away a huge, HUGE THANK YOU for what you're doing. You cant even imagine how helpfull and life changing this was and still is for me!

    So what's your story? What got you into this journey of self-actualization?