Nathalie

@Teags You don't have to stop it, it's the job of your mind to analyse things and people, simply don't take it seriously, it isn't real, it's just your opinion, based on your experience, knowledge etc which are (don't take it personally please ) limited. So if you know it's not the reality, you still be open minded and the judging part of you will lessen. It' a matter of acceptance. So you judge people, cool why not? I also do but I don't trust the opinion that emerged out of it.. Let it be a game

Really?? But yes, it's right, a lot of people are looking for happiness, in material things in other people, good weather.. what ever.. and it can't work. Happyness never lasts it's only a release from suffering. One could say suffering arises from the looking for happiness. In my point of view, if one chose to develop himself : is taking a path that leads to excel the will, in order to accept what is and find peace. It's the reason why I said, we need a definition of what you call "happiness". If happiness = peace and freedom in a higher level.. yes. ok.

@Lorcan Maybe we need first a definition for "happiness" for me it's only an ephemeral mood state like sadness, anger, excitement jealousy etc.. It comes and goes.. From this point of view, it can't be a goal at all because it would exclude every other feeling.. It seems absurd to me, because in this case you would have to avoid everything what doesn't make you "happy" and this is the best way to achieve unhappiness. Why do you practice self development? I do it in order to be able to recognize my hidden mental structures (due to education, relations, culture etc), to recognize the moods and feelings which come up and being able to acknoledge them without identification with them, it gives me certain sense of freedom that I like. Personally, I began to meditate because I was curious where it would lead me.. And I still proceed because of this profound peace that I feel and that seems to deepen endlessly.. Since I go this way of self development and meditation, I really can appreciate the present moment with its aliveness, independently how "I feel" in this moment.. Crazy isn't it? So why do you practice? Maybe this question more is important than what Leo says or minds.. Am I wrong?

@Algi The key is really love yourself, your inner child as Ludwig puts it below. Videos, books and maybe therapy (if you think so..) can help. The more you find your equilibrium the less anxious and jealous, needy you will feel.. Because you will become aware that you really don't need anybody anymore, just learn to enjoy them in the same manner you enjoy yourself.. They may come and go, but you can't be abandoned anymore => you have yourself What is more, you can be able to accept every feeling as well, honor them and even to savor them. It may seem crazy but they all have their flavours, colors and aliveness. Take a look deep look at them instead of trying to fight them Best wishes

@Psychonaut if you allow me to let another comment here.. I think this is really a powerful quote, even more for a religious person You're surely right.. and none of us knows the way for sure.. do we? Maybe she finds her own one and you dont have to take her by the hand?

@Mohamed El Khatib You can concentrate yourself 100% in what you are doing now.. Don't look neither backwards nor forwards and stop your up coming thoughts for the moment. Take deep breaths and relaxe, feel your body from feed to head, smile at yourself. No selfpity! Every single moment you feel depressed, stop your thoughts and do mindfully the things you do. Regrets don't help for anything. Do stuff that you enjoy. I can almost hear your protest, but yes you can, of course you can. You probably enjoyed your life before you contacted her, so you don't depend on her and you certainly have an idea: meet an old friend, go for a walk, make a trip to another city sometimes and think of you: You always can learn something from each story that seems to have a "bad end".. Perhaps it's an idea for a meditation, as soon as you think you can deal with it.. For the moment, cool down and take care of you.. When you have come out of this, you will have learned and grown from it, I'm sure. I keep my fingers crossed for you, hope you find your way

@Psychonaut you could give a feed back if he had asked .. Did he? If not, I think it would not be a feedback but a judgement.. Would he accept that? It's hart to believe. I know it's always a difficult position when you see unhappy people not to react.. Often they need to touch the ground before they change something.. If I've understood you rightly, it was your case too? Actually it isn't even your job and therefore not your duty to be their personal coach (sorry don't find a better word..). Even if you all go through a challenging period, they are adults and I'm relatively sure that they won't accept your unasked help.. parents seldom do, its a question of tradition, value, proudness, roles.. etc. They should be there for you at the first place and not the opposite.. THe key seems to be (as often): the best you can do is to accept and surrounder to what is.. Maybe you can tell us how you've proceed..? Also best whishes

The first that come into my mind is, how cool would it be to converse with someone who listen..! Why not make use of this? I understand what you mean because everyone tries to tell his opinion about everything.. But, is this really always that important? First, why not make a trump of it and practice active listening, look at the eyes of the speaker, nod your head, agree with different little words like, yes, of course, sure.. Or just put words like: really? When? Why? How did you do this?..etc.. But don't fake it, it would be boring for you and the other would remark it.. Just keep in your head that the best conversation partners are those who are able to listen . Are you able to do this? It's often much more difficult than speak.. Try only to speak when you have something special to say. This way, even if you need longer to express yourself you can expect that the other will be patient with you and listen. As a second plan, I would advise you to practice articulation by reading books loud (when you're alone) and if you want to, you can record yourself with your phone and afterwards ilsten to it and correct it until you like it.. Besides, I'm also living in a foreign country and I'm not perfect, I still have an accent and make errors sometimes.. but nobody seems to care

Yes. The reason has to be found in the now.. So to speak.. Using the example of to much food.. It wouldn't function in my case either because I would instantly respond to myself something like: I do a little more sport after this and it won't matter concerning my weight.. So the benefit has to be recognized and felt right know: How do you feel while eating? Do you ever taste, smell and see what you eat? Do you savor it? Can you feel in your body when you are full or just a little before? If you stay in your body while eating, you would never eat to much because you feel uncomfortable (except you want to experience it how it feels like ) In my opinion it can only happen to you to do things which eventually go wrong later, if you do them while being mentally absent.. You know what I mean? Is it a hart job? Don't know.. It seems it's a more intensive life when you are present in the things you do. Tell me (or yourself) one where it isn't the case..

@JevinR Eckart Tolle puts it really simple, he says: negativity needs stories, peace none.. What if you just stop the thought, don't give him not even a better end.. just stop it in the moment you recognize it, for example, after the Wh.. Stop! . I do it when i want to get rid of all kind of stuff that comes around and around all the time, like songs you some times hear during hours in your head.. Just stop in the midle of the word.. It usually function really good.. If not the first time, maybe the second or the third.. It seems that the thought vanishes by being neglected..

@DizIzMikey I think the same because it seems that she already has the feeling she must protect him from you.. and maybe you soon will have to battle against all of them. One more thing : Are you sure you have to control the whole situation? Is it your role? How did it function before you came to the family? Could you imagine the possibility to relaxe yourself a little? Are really all the rules you want to be respected necessary or can you quite a few? I mean often we don't question our principles anymore.. just because we're adults.. because we know better.. or because it functioned in the past.. DId you already tried this : each time you feel angry just try to step aside and look at your anger, feel it, acknoledge it and question it deeply.. Does it makes sense to you? This is at least a feeling I know and it's really amazing when you can look at the rage or anger without being overwhelmed by it.. If it's a reflection maybe to master your emotions? PS: why don't you call him by his name.. ? It would eventually help you to hate him a little less..

Just in case you need one more opinion..: I think as long as you have to ask yourself this way and you feel uncertain.. you actually don't want.. You will percieve the right moment when it comes.. Not as an impulse (like you would buy new shoes) but with your whole body and mind If you have the choice, don't do it before this happens and enjoy your life as it is, there are surely good moments you can appreciate right now..

@Isle of View it's surely in a book from Ken WIlber : I'm reading "Integral meditation" written by him and it's exactly the words he uses and the theory he defends.. Since I read it as an Ebook and I haven't finished it yet, I cannot affirn that you will find the chart in it.. It's Wilber's case too.. Just an other attempt to conceptualyze and put a certain personal and spiritual developement in different stages.. One more ego construct ?

@Neo First of all, It seems you put much more "the work in" as just reading and listening to some videos.. Secondly, it helps you in your daily life, doesn't it? So where is some need to make more at the moment? Maybe one day you will feel the necessity and you can begin than.. When it better fits in your life.. And.. There's surely no universal rule that one has to execute in order to go the "right way to enlightenment".. if it's actually your purpose.. Personally, I like and appreciate every little opening that happens to me while living consciously (with or without meditation) because it gives me a sense of freedom and increasing peace.. I even don't expect more.. Though it seems to never end.. I hope you enjoy your way too

Today in the morning, I had a little "mission" from a local relief organization by a family who came as refugees to Germany.. Well, although I normally teach french to german people, I thought, I could also teach german as a foreign language to people who need it, as I did it already a few times before.. All I knew about this people was, that they made a very long trip from Irak in order to come here and that the family is composed by 2 adults and 3 children and that nobody speaks a europeen (or american) language.. The organization gave them a flat which they share with two other families.. So I was there at 10.00 as agreed, I rang, the family came to welcome me and almost instantly, I can't really word it, it was a kind of melting with everybody there.. so to speak.. As if one comes home.. I went there to give them a little from my knowledge.. but I get so much more.. or rather there was an exchange at a fully other level.. Everything gets shared: tee, cookies, languages, gestures, smiles.. Kind of holistic experience.. .. Sorry, I'm not sure if it's the right place to share this.. But I needed to comunicate it.. and I imagine that if I tell it here, my family would think I'm about to change my religion (I'm such a strange person, you know..), what, of course, isn't the case.. Maybe this kind of events are sort of mind and heart opening, the same way as meditation.. Sometimes.. Thank you for reading

It's right, and I don't think I overestimate languages.. We just need them sometimes

@99th_monkey @werlight Thank you for your feedback, it's good to know that this sort of "energy" can be shared here

@Lucifer ok.. I was just about to cleanup my post by reading your last lines..

@Sofiasspecial .. and you know a person just by reading his posts?? .. Sorry when I disturb your discution.. Was here by hazard..

watch interesting videos in the foreign language you want to improve and participate in foreign forums

@Abhijeet Singh you're very wellcome

@Rasmus I would sign for you as well, this time actually knowingly.. But I think you will need more support for it Perhaps if you visualize daily..

I dont see any danger in that .. It even seems interesting.. I will ask him questions I didn't find an answer jet, and speak with him like I would do with a friend of mine.. Great, enjoy it.. First of all, take into consideration that perhaps I'm wrong, but.. My interpretation is that you possibly have taken him subconsciently into your dreams in order to have someone to communicate to.. Maybe you think that he knows the answers you are looking for? You could have made a worse choice.. but please stay aware, don't do everything you hear, just because you assume he (or someone else) knows better.. You have the responsabilties of your doing, right? Take care of yourself and have a nice time

@Kelley White I agree with your opinion, this thread is under "Serious Mental Illness" and we can discuss a lot, perhaps it gives somebody new ideas how he or she can proceed and develop, that's great.. But we're surely not able to heal somebody from a serious illness, this can't be the purpose, can it? It isn't the first thread that takes different directions, for me it's seems ok.. till a certain point.. Sometimes people even try to make jokes about severe issues.. or to provoke, some people are good a it, some less, well.. So what? No worries, everything's ok.. One breath later everything is blown away ..and @Abhijeet Singh you can make objections and defend your question, opinion, what ever.. right? So it seems that if you need a feedback, you have to tell more..

What do you know about my hostility? If you meant mine.. Do you see her somewhere, I'm looking for her such a long time and just can't find her..