Osaid

Working in customer service has helped, but very slowly. I'm still in the process of unravelling it. I still feel like people are secretly angry or annoyed by me when I talk with them or do some tiny thing wrong. I think when it comes to irrational fears like this, the problem is lack of experience. Your mind tries to make up for that lack of experience through its imagination, it imagines what the experience could possibly be, and imagination can be very faulty and fantastical, which leads to irrational fears. Not to mention, your imagination also likes to cherry-pick past situations, so be careful of that. I guess the key is to stop delegating experience to imagination, and to start creating the actual experience. So in a less-wordy way, exposure therapy. When you gain experience you start to realize that no one really cares, and also that the people you compare yourself to also have their demons in the closet as well. You will often run into a situation where you're like "OMG that guy totally hates me" but then he does something completely opposite to that, betraying your imagination, those are the moments to cherish and be aware of, because they break the illusion. In general, you should prioritize your emotional well-being above all. If you're having thoughts which are causing anxiety, you should immediately ground yourself and alleviate it. Do a body check, are you being attacked by someone? Is there a fire occurring somewhere in your experience? Then where is the anxiety coming from? There is no possible situation where having anxiety is necessarily beneficial or practical, it's just extra suffering on top of the experience. Overall it seems to come down to projections and lack of experience. Become aware of how you project in social situations. Someone won't even say anything, yet you'll already assume they're thinking bad of you. Can you see how exhausting this is in the long-term, thinking of all these elaborate scenarios when you meet people? Just drop it, be open-minded, don't assume, live in that moment and in that interaction. It is also possible to become non-reactive to the elaborate scenarios that you imagine, this happens when you realize them to simply be thoughts and not reality, this is probably the best way to go about it. Notice that, in actuality, you have never experienced someone thinking badly of you outside of your imagination. That experience is always imagined, unless you somehow entered someone's head. That's how powerful your imagination is, become aware of it.

Yeah, go start a timer for 5 minutes and do nothing but stare at the seconds going up/down for 5 minutes. It will be the longest 5 minutes of your life, lol. You can also do the opposite, focus on enjoying your present experience and not worrying about time or what will occur in the future, and you will experience a timeless flow state, until you start thinking about time again. I think the key to warping time is becoming conscious of the fact that your only way to measure time is through your faulty imagination. When you lose track of time, realize that in your current direct experience there is literally no way to measure or perceive time aside from your imagination. That will really make time start to lose its rigidity. I'm telling you, a 9-5 is a really good training ground for this, I've literally trained myself to make those working hours go by in a flash. It helps to avoid looking at the time or anything related to time, although it makes it hard to tell when my shift is over sometimes.

The less you pay attention to time, the less time itself will exist. Our imagination is very faulty, and time depends on imagination. When you lose track of time, this breaks the illusion and perception of time. Without any clocks to count on, you cannot accurately gauge how much time has elapsed, the responsibility of measuring time is delegated to your imagination, and thus you are stuck in a warped sense of time, where time can seem to move much faster or slower than normal. The feeling of time moving "fast" or "slow" is just a consequence of the inability of your mind to imagine time in a consistent manner. Time will seem to move fastest when you are completely present in the moment, which is why people tend to say "time goes by fast when you're having fun". If you're checking the clock all the time, time will be much more substantial. If you are present in the moment without any thoughts relating to time, time will cease to exist for as long as you can maintain that level of perception. I actually learned a lot about how time works from working in a 9-5. The shift goes much slower or faster depending on how you conduct yourself. Your perception of time can also indirectly be hindered by how well you feel in your own body. For example, if your arm hurts, it may lead you to think more thoughts related to time such as "how long is my arm going to hurt for". So, having good energy levels and a healthy body can help you feel more present, because you will feel amazing in your body, and this feeling of being amazing actually pulls you into the present moment.

Take a shower. Showers are underrated. It will wipe away all the thoughts and stories you accumulated throughout the day, and it pulls you into the present moment. It's an instant increase in consciousness.

For some reason I seem to revert to this routine whenever I get less than 8 hours of sleep

Sounds like it might be a more nuanced issue, then. My only advice is to start researching and paying attention to your body. I've heard certain psychedelics can make people nauseous, so maybe look into that, but look into it deeply. See what the actual mechanism is that psychedelics have which makes people nauseous. See if the symptoms are consistent or related to anything, was anything potentially different the times you weren't vomiting? And also, what are you vomiting out? What is the vomiting like, what does it look like? Really look deep into all the factors. Also, is a headache always present during the vomiting? That seems to be an interesting symptom, cause when I vomit I don't necessarily have a headache. You should also maybe look up what that indicates.

coffee, music, done

New Awakening: Infinity of Coffee Tables

I like waking up early, but suck at it. It's nice when it happens though. Otherwise it seems like I'm naturally drawn to just staying up late af. The vibe of being up at night is just different. Same for early mornings. The vibe in early morning and late night are similar, very peaceful and quiet and contemplative, that's why I don't mind either of them, but I'm more naturally drawn to the late night. I probably lost like 10 years of my lifespan from all the sleep deprivation I had to go through in school lol. "Might" is an understatement. In actuality these institutions and stuff don't really care about health, it's a second priority to them.

How to resolve the issue? Stop drinking so much, I guess. Seems like it's happening cause you're drinking, right? On the topic of releasing tension in the stomach, I have actually noticed that I unconsciously clench my stomach a lot. It might be the case that you are unconsciously preventing yourself from vomiting, and when you relax your stomach your body just takes its natural course, which is vomiting. On the topic of being scared of vomiting, yeah I hate vomiting as well, and I can relate to staying in bed and avoiding it. The feeling sucks. But the aftermath of vomiting, the process of letting that fear go and facing that toilet/garbage can and saying "ok lets get it over with I need to vomit" is very relaxing and therapeutic for sure. I have noticed that as well. You just gotta bite the bullet, realize that you're gonna vomit, and go all in, with the realization that everything will be all good and blissful right after. The resistance to vomiting just brings extra nausea and anxiety, so it's best you get it done with. Pay attention to how amazing you feel confronting the feeling of vomiting and being done with it, and then remember that the next time you feel like vomiting, and it should make the process more easier, awareness is curative as they say.

Do you have trouble noticing if someone is being sarcastic, or making a joke? Or maybe the latter, you can't tell when they aren't being sarcastic or not making a joke? Generally speaking, Occam's Razor should kick in and by a very quick process of elimination you should realize that the likelihood of her referring to your very literal idea of a power-plant are extremely slim. Imagining a literal power plant is one thing, but assuming that to genuinely be what is being talked about is also another thing. It seems to be a matter of being unable to read human emotions or intentions, or something of the like. I'm not sure. Also, I just realized your original question wasn't even to get to the bottom of why this is happening with you, but rather if it makes you smart or dumb, that's pretty funny. I don't like using the terms "smart" or "dumb" in a genuine conversation like this cause those terms aren't specific enough, but it is definitely creative. Coming up with puns is creative.

So basically you're faced with a word/term that could potentially have multiple meanings, and you don't know which meaning to choose because technically more than one of them could fit in the situation? Similar to how "sprite" could refer to the soda, but it can also refer to a fairy?

So basically, you genuinely thought she may have been talking about either a literal power plant as you imagined, or the energy-conserving type of power plant, and you didn't wanna ask which one cause it would look dumb? I'm having trouble reconciling the difference between "lack of knowledge" and "misunderstanding" here, so did I get that right?

If It doesn't make sense, or I have to come up with a scenario that doesn't make sense, I just immediately assume it is a term I don't know about and so I would ask "What's a power plant?" or "What do you mean by power plant?". Those questions should normally just naturally pop up in the conversation, I wouldn't assume a literal power plant and then keep the conversation going without asking, because that leads to misunderstanding. The weirdness or abnormality of the term "power-plant" should be an indicator to you so that you can question the term. Otherwise, I don't think imagining a literal power-plant is bad as long as you correct the assumption.

If someone followed this advice, it's a bit paradoxical, cause then they'll never be happy lol

I would say it depends on how attached you are to those thoughts. I can think of violent thoughts right now, but they don't garner any sort of emotional reaction or involvement from me. It's like watching a movie scene where the characters are fighting. Imagining a violent thought that you are emotionally invested in and want to act out would be different, and could be seen as "impure" because it indicates some sort of emotional problem. But also, "impure" itself is also a thought and judgement you are projecting on top of your thoughts, so be conscious of that.

Can't wait

Me when I have any free time at all haha. time to endlessly binge music and video games and youtube videos.

Living the dream

Maybe try holding a magnet to the stainless steel, if his magnet test is sound. He does say at the top "Stainless steel that magnets won't stick to has nickel in it, stainless that will hold a magnet does not have much nickel if any"

Hahahaha you thought he wanted Knowledge Hoarder banned on some side tangent? That's probably his alt account

Philosophers have always been contemplating such things, even if they didn't specifically have psychedelics in mind. They could see that our definitions of "real" are a bit flimsy and arbitrary, and that basically cuts to the root of spirituality.

Well just from the thumbnail alone I can tell this will be a very thoughtful and insightful critique Edit: I just looked through the rest of his videos hahahahahahaha

I related with Cypher for a bit. Basically the personification of "ego backlash" or "ignorance is bliss". He wanted to wipe his memory so he could go back to living in the Matrix, cause he hated knowing the truth and living in the real reality. He regretted taking the red pill.

Whether you look crazy or not, that depends on the person you tell it to, and how much they understand you. Is it normal? I think that depends on the degree to which you think about it. I have thought about it as a possibility, and the results that come after it, but I have never seriously thought about executing it or planning it out. I've only ever thought of it as a thought experiment. (FYI, "normal" here means how many people on average think about it.) For me personally, warm showers and walks help me get out of my head when it comes to this stuff. Especially showers. You can feel an immediate increase in awareness and consciousness after coming out of the shower, it makes you much more present and it washes away all the different thoughts you've accumulated throughout the day. Showers are basically effortless meditation sessions, the sensation of water really pulls you into the present moment, away from your thoughts and fantasies.