Kshantivadin

>.< but one kind of needs a level of consciousness already as a condition to even be able to do dry fasting or breathing, don't you agree - personally I do not experience such states very often

My heart goes out to you practice love and fearlessness, every moment. craving is what causes suffering

Shit is dependent on the mind. For a shit mind, everything is shit.

I'm sure this is one of the keystone issues seekers on this forum face(: Personally it's been very difficult. Impermanence, suffering inherent to a tainted mind, voidness of self of all phenomena, Void itself - I still cannot bring these insights in harmony with "personal development". There is nothing I can cling to that can be developed. There is nobody behind the intent of the development either! Yet there is still craving and I still suffer. I still want personal development - even though there is nothing to develop. This, obviously, leaves me confused and in suffering. Prior to writing this, I was in a state of nihilism for a couple of weeks - the clouds seem to clear, if only for a bit. I'm not talking about the initial drop of ambition and motivation after starting spirituality, though. I refer to personal development after the wisdom of "form is emptiness" but before Love is found.

No brain, no psyche, no update and no downdate. Mu

sanity and insanity is merely defined upon the society you live in, purely normative, its a necessary mechanism to keep society functioning. a positive definition would be - you are sane if you can function in society (and that definition is pretty wide)

too long didnt read

@VeganAwake do you still believe there is something external - or is it just semantics?

Do you agree with this quote? "The love of God is the fire of hell" - St Isaac the Syrian

@tezk thank you very much for the resource! I kind of just consider it a blessing given that it's made me grow so much and is still forcing me to grow. I'm not particularly attached to orgasms but practicing any kind of sexual practice means you will slip and ejaculate sometimes. I also view that as a strong motivating force.

they certainly affect my life in a very negative way. brain fog, irritability, fatigue, need to sleep more, need to eat much more, sometimes headache, sometimes sensory overload. this is all I can think of after having overcome all the "mental" symptoms (ie, the additional baggage we put on ourselves having orgasmed and knowing what's gonna happen and how "i'm ruining my life with this" (a really good example thought I would usually have for years after ejaculating)) my whole life, it seems. I have yet to experience an ejaculation without symptoms. I noticed, though, that there are different types of ejaculation, some of which are less draining. I am also currently learning NEO's as an alternative to suffering for days every time I cum.

I asked this to see if you are legit. One could say I have POIS as well but I always simply interpreted it as what pushes me towards energy practice. It would be lovely not to crash and burn so hard when I ejaculate because taking energy practice seriously will mean I will sometimes slip and have an EO - and I want to take my energy practice seriously. I don't want to live in fear or caution. Usually I need at least 2 days to start functioning.

Could I ask you what was your longest phase of retention? Do you have enough referential experience to compare retaining and not retaining?

nonchalant - using my understanding on the empty nature of phenomena as a justification for simply not caring, for my depressive tendencies and habits, nihilism and disregard towards taking care of the relative plane (this can be supremely positive but in its current stage it's a negative aspect) depressive tendencies nihilism cynicism unloving towards myself myopic and hopeless tendencies

1. MindfulOfNothing 2. Urban Monastic 3. Mindly

careful with the bro. with all respect he's on a major ego trip carousel right now, hopefully he lands without any harm done

looking miles healthier bro(: super happy for you careful with the 1stman guy though. huge shadow. not conductive for our path(: its a child's play. looksmaxxing is legit of course.

Why?

So "conscious marketing" is impossible? If not, can you offer us some resources on it?

wow, thanks for sharing

Dunno Judy, I personally prefer a mahasiddha to a rat

I'd like to contribute by making a distinction between "physiological anxiety" (eg substance-induced) and mind-induced, if there is a difference. Let me know what you think. It seems to me that one can be fully present, yet anxious this way, since in my experience there is a distinct difference in how the mind and body behave, yet the texture of the feeling of anxiety is similar, but the former is thought-induced.

Please expound on this when you have the time

It's a process. You can make a "get back to you" template that you just paste if you don't have the capacity to reply immediately. But it shouldn't be expected of you to reply immediately. Contemplate to see if you have any residual people pleasing patterns lingering.

It's hard. Very hard. First check if you're someone a high quality person would be delighted to spend time with. If you got that box checked, put yourself out in places where you think someone like that would go and reach out relentlessly. Numbers game. One day you will wake up and be blessed with such people