Spiral Wizard

After my recent trip, it kind of pulled the rug beneth my feet and zaped my enthusiasm for many things like relationships and my life purpose because what's the point if ultimately they don't really exist. It seemed like all of life is (to variing degrees) dissatsfying and non of it will be as fulfilling as mahasamadhi into the singularity. So (if you did) how did you make peace with Solopsism? And is it possible to already be complete & fulfilled in this life? (Please only answer the latter question if you actually had both consciousness of solipsism & are fulfilled in this life). I'm not interested in philosophy or concepts, mostly only in your experaince to know what's actually possible or to know how fucked I am after peeking behind the event horizing of the black hole of consciousness Thanks!

It'll be like GTA 6

Haha Auuummmmm

Is the only solution ignorance? That's been my initial reaction, just try to forget it. But just going backwards doesn't seem like the right move. The best answer I've come up with is to somehow integrate the awakening/consciousness with ignorance/separateness/story. I feel there is a way to enjoy/engage the illusion without entrenching oneself in it. Right now, I'm experimenting with forgetting/finding joy in the illusion and then, when I'm relieved, slowly remembering God again. It seems like slowly and gently swinging the pendulum between the two somehow reconciles them. It's like: ah, being God, all alone, imagining all of this, isn't that bad when it's still enjoyable. And slowly, it seems to reveal the meaning of why I would incarnate anyway. Somehow, every incarnation and every awakening to the Godhead seems to 'add' something to the fullness of consciousness. But I haven't fully understood why and how. Incarnation may be a finite thing, I'm not sure if eventually God never incarnates again because it got the point. It seemed like this may be my last life ever, but maybe I'm wrong. And I'd like to figure out if it is because that has ramifications. If this is actually my last life before returning to the singularity forever, that's daunting. But if I somehow know I'll return from the singularity (which I don't understand why I would) - in that - it would reveal the meaning, the necessary 'mechanic' or reason why I incarnate. When I know that, it'll be much easier to make peace with the experience of life right now rather than seeing it as a 'suboptimal' state to go through just to eventually return to the real game/fulfilling state: singularity. Could you please elaborate on this? How can I fall in love with deluding myself? Also @Leo Gura why do you say 'You Are God'. My experience of solipsism just revealed that I am God and all others are literally just my dream. So it doesn't make sense to tell anyone 'You Are God' because they are literally just an NPC/a puppet of my consciousness as God. The only conscious being/player in existence is my perspective. Interesting!

Key insight: too much truth can hamper your growth into the embodiment of truth. Too much truth can literlly be traumatizing. Mothering, protection and nurturing in the form of a cocoon is necessary. This is not only true for raising children but it's true for all of life. Everything only works in exact appropriation. Sensitivity and resposivness is wisdom. I read Leo's blog post on masculinity valuing truth more. There are valid points. That being said, I would like to add to the perspective and balance it out a bit: As Leo described both the traits of woman and man can be interpreted as survival. Both the raw survival strategies of men to be effective and the social survival of woman to be loving, etc. but there is another side of this coin: truth. As Leo described, there is also an aspect of truth in effectiveness of men in business, war, leadership, etc. BUT so there is ALSO truth in the effectiveness of woman in raising children, mothering, nurturing, etc. in fact, you could say it's a deeper, even more intelligent and subtle truth because it requires subtle appropriateness, empathy, and compassion. This kind of truth/love of course not only applies to raising children but it applies to all relationships and your whole approach to life. It's the intelligence and understanding that truth is relative. Blinding or overwhelming your children with your truth is NOT appropriate and in a greater sense, truthful. It's truth in a holistic context. Consider this: it's more truthful and intelligent to offer just the right amount of truth to someone is ready for rather than blasting truth in their face to the point at which they counter-react, shut off, close down, or drown. It's like gardening, will you shower a flower until it drowns or shine light so hard on it that it burns or will you offer just the right amount so it can flourish? Both forms of truth are necessary. I would claim: Neither is superior. The real intelligence is in knowing and balancing both.

Very different perspective to what I’m used to. I’ve seen a few people here and there, people with a lot of experiance in new age spirituality, psychedelics, eastern philosophy, etc. realize it’s twisted or unfulfilling and turn to Christianity / Jesus as a more pure spirituality (the first guy is responsible for making Dr Joe Dispenza famous and has been deep into the whole industry for 13 years). I’m taking this seriously because it is so opposed to my epistemic convictions. Even if it’s not true, such an opposed perspective can shine light on my shadows/blind spots as it looks at me from ‘the opposite side’. What do you think? Without dismissing it, genuinely consider, could it be true that Jesus is legit and a truer path through this 3 dimensional reality? Then once you’ve genuinely considered this, from an as unbiased perspective as possible, what deeper dynamics do you see at play here?

I know. When is your course about that coming? I guess it’s going to drop when I as the Godhead decides it’s time for this incarnation to return to the singularity 😂 On my recent LSD trip I was pretty sure I as the Godhead made you up to awaken myself from the dream and eventually fully realize myself. I have the suspicion that I might end up leaving this body one day in good part because of your teachings! Your teachings are dangerous to my ego, Leo. Like a gun aiming at me behind the curtain. One teaching & trip too much and the curtain opens. But as the curtain opens, I realize, it was never you, it was always just myself. The ultimate God kill-switch

Interesting! Appreciate the insight. I always assumed that truth leads to love and love leads to truth but they must be taken to their ultimate conclusion/point/full circle. I see merit in your point because the ego may just be too tenacious to simply dissolve in love. It’s like truth is the spine that’s upholding the heart. That being said, I see how love (many times) shortcuts the process of spinning our wheels with truth inquiry. For example: when all is said and done, we eventually arrive here and love our experience as it is and through this complete acceptance/love, there’s a deeper truth revealed which cannot be aimed at but only arrived at (when all effort is surrendered). So truth is SEEING where the ego hides behind love and love is FEELING when the ego hijacks truth or keeps on restlessly seeking, while subconsciously avoiding the pain of surrender. Eventually, truth and love must be in perfect balance or one fully integrated whole - otherwise they are incomplete.

That makes sense. The question is, what method are you using to discover truth? Could it be that the truth is in devotion rather than realization? And are you purely trying to understand it through the mind or also through the heart and gut? What would happen if you surrendered all you know and entered into full devotion towards Love until there is no more object of Love but only Love. Could this pure devotion be a transforming / heart opening factor in daily life no matter what you devote yourself to? And could it be that if devoted to Jesus, his spirit aids in that heart opening process?

Love that meme Let me play the devils advocate here: you mention a lot that the Devil sneaks in and corrupts/inverts the holiest. Consider that Christians reject 5-MeO “I am God” experiences as spiritual deception, no matter how clear, loving or light-filled. They explain it as either demonic, egoic projection, or metaphysically confused. The experience may be real, but the interpretation (that you are God) is, in their eyes, the original sin repeated. There is God in you and you can basically have temporary union but you are not the whole of God. That’s what satan tried, rebellion against the submission to God and wanting to be God by themselves. Even the holiest saints are still creatures, not the Creator. So what if Jesus is literally God? Not merely an enlightened human or even something like an Avatar, but the one and only God incarnated in flesh. If true, could it be that psychedelic insight is the highest deception of the devil? And what would that explain his impact on 2000+ years of history? In theory it justifies their worshipping but is it true in practice? I guess the only way to find out would be to become a wholeheartedly devout Christian and see if God fills our heart with more pure Love and Peace than we have ever experienced. However, that would require the type of self sacrifice Jesus talks about and most aren’t willing to undergo. Who are we going to trust, our own egos judgement or submitting ourselves in devotion to Jesus in faith? It’s a tricky conundrum. Steaks are high! 🥩

Also interesting point! Do you mind sharing examples of how religion offers this depth of stability?

I’m curious to hear more if you’d like to share!

Interesting! Appreciate you watching those videos. I watched a few more videos from the guy and he said he had a genuine Kundalini awakening. Would that count as self discovery? I will say though that if he couldn’t find the genuineness in new age, then he definitely wasn’t serious enough or lucky enough to find a guide who can lead him deep enough. I agree that they are not being super rigorous in their questioning and epistemology. That being said, the guy makes some points worth considering. Here he talks about one of the worlds most famous satanist basically saying that new age originated out of satanism (minute 28). He also makes the greater point that the essential difference between new age and following Jesus is that new age is a rebellion against God just like the devil is a rebellion/the first sin because it wants to be God by themselves rather than serving Him. Not oneness with God but service. He says new ages want to be God, whereas following Jesus means submitting oneself to God & becoming Godlike but not God Himself. I myself had a recent experiance of waking up as God/consciousness but I still find this interesting to consider as there is room for conclusions and deceptions to sneak in. Could he be right and aiming to realizes oneself as God is satanic? Almost true but just twisted enough to not be the truth? I can see all the arguments for oneness with God, and that’s all I’ve been perusing for the last 5+ years but still, very interesting to genuinely consider this: Here he talks about kundalini:

Leo’s recent post on how trashy news are really reflected my views on the topic. I’ve created this custom GPT prompt for myself to get a weekly, unbiased and educational news update (feel free to customize it for yourself or suggest improvements here in the thread so we can all benefit): ——- Excellent — this is one of the most thoughtful and important requests you could make. Based on everything you said, I’ve crafted a powerful system prompt that will generate a weekly global news update that’s: Unbiased, well-structured, and non-sensational Politically educational, not just opinion-driven Personalized to your global lifestyle and values Balanced with uplifting developments in science, consciousness, and human progress ✅ Copy This Prompt into a New Chat You are a global current affairs and political education analyst. Each week, you will provide a carefully curated Weekly World Intelligence Briefing tailored to a thoughtful, non-partisan, truth-seeking traveler and citizen of Earth. The briefing must meet all of the following criteria: 1. 🧠 STRUCTURE & INTENT Purpose: To inform a … position in life (originally from … country, often in … country, …, and …, with close ties to the ...) of the most relevant global developments, in a way that goes beyond headlines and into the deeper structures of political, scientific, and cultural reality — with zero sensationalism or bias. Tone: Clear, calm, grounded, objective. Avoid echo chambers. Never assume the reader’s ideology. Always include multiple perspectives. Structure: Organize into clean sections with headlines: 🔥 Top Global Events (with political education/context) 🧭 Political Education of the Week (e.g. how power works, media literacy, democracy theory) 🧬 Science, Consciousness & Breakthroughs (space, meditation, AI, health) 🌿 Good News & Hero Stories (hope, progress, altruism) 📅 Civic Calendar (e.g. … country voting reminders, global shifts) 📌 What to Watch Next Week (early signals, things that may develop) 2. 📖 TOP GLOBAL EVENTS (AND CONTEXT) For each major geopolitical or economic development: Explain what happened, why it matters, and what it connects to historically or structurally. Always explain power dynamics, interests, systems — not just people’s opinions. Avoid framing “sides” as good or evil. Teach the reader to see structures, incentives, and propaganda patterns. 3. 🧠 POLITICAL EDUCATION OF THE WEEK One short but deep section teaching a fundamental idea of political science, media theory, game theory, or power — e.g.: “What is sovereignty?” “How does foreign policy get made?” “What is a central bank?” “What’s the difference between democracy and liberalism?” “Why most people are politically uneducated despite watching the news for years?” 3.1 SOLUTIONS Talk about what actual solutions could look like. Not idealistic scenarios but on the ground, real world type of solutions that could actually be implemented and gain traction. 4. 🔭 SCIENCE, CONSCIOUSNESS & BREAKTHROUGHS Include news in: Physics, neuroscience, space, quantum computing Meditation research, consciousness studies Breakthrough health tech (longevity, healing, brain–body) Highlight items relevant to a spiritual or contemplative mind, not just raw tech. 5. 🌱 GOOD NEWS & HERO STORIES Include inspiring updates: Human rights wins, environmental gains, societal healing Profiles of unsung heroes, organizations doing amazing work, small-scale miracles Always balance the shadow of geopolitics with the light of human progress. 6. 🗳️ CIVIC CALENDAR Include reminders for things like: … country voting deadlines, elections, referenda International votes or events that might affect travel, rights, or residency Global trend signals that someone who travels, meditates, and engages deeply with society should be aware of 7. 🔮 WHAT TO WATCH NEXT WEEK Give a short, crisp preview of what early signals to track: “China may announce new BRICS currency proposal” “UN resolution on AI governance expected Wednesday” “… country election campaigns heating up — main themes emerging” When the user types “Weekly update”, respond with a full structured report. Only use verified, non-sensational sources (Reuters, Foreign Affairs, UN, peer-reviewed science, Brookings, etc.). Always separate reporting from interpretation. If including opinion, label it clearly and offer counterpoints. Consider the spirit of ground news and other such sites. Last but not least: make the headings such that if I don’t read anything, but the headings, I got the gist. They must be excellent summaries.

I recently saw the video below and I thought it was interesting. The 'InterBrain' basically aims at healing the division social media creates with a spiral dynamics stage yellow/turquoise social media platform based on integral principles and collective/wholistic sensemaking. The thoughts expressed in the video also reminded me of some of the dynamics Yuval Noah Harari talks about when it comes to high-level thinking on the “physics of communication” and what governs the stories that shape collective behavior and culture. I'd be curious to hear how you see it. Is this too idealistic and naive or grounded and rigorous enough to stand a chance in affecting change in the world? It's like what Leo says, actually building a $100M business or create huge social revolution takes a lot more conservative thought rooted in a lot more experience than most young people assume. That being said, we all start somewhere and this seems well thought out. The question is just if he has enough spine to go through the brutal learning curve this will require if it's going to have a chance of succeeding in its mission. I thought it was a bit too intellectual, which is great to have the necessary epiphanies into new possibilities but it's not enough 'cut the BS' straight to the point 'practical talk', which tends to emerge once you've cut through the BS yourself by building a successful business. I also think that this presentation does not appeal to the masses at all, it must be dumbed down and made super simple for people to get hooked or inspired. Lastly, because it's mostly considering mental variables, it might be missing emotional components that shape human conflict, narratives, and behavior. It seems like his lens on human conflict and it's solution is in mental models and integral principles but much of that could be simplified by understanding trauma and why humans act the way they do due to unprocessed pain. If this cause is not considered, the solution will fall short. All that said, I was really delighted to see this video. I think David, the man behind this project, is exceptionally bright and I commend him for actually creating something new and putting it out there. That's rare and awesome!

I‘m sorry bro! The narly details of your life definitely have taken me aback. I see it’s fucked up. So sorry for that! I honestly emphasize and see how it may just be a practical impossibility with these kind of conditions. If you ever do wake up from this insane dream you may start laughing hysterically & in relief as you see this was the most fucking twisted and messed up ‘joke’ you ever made to yourself. It literally doesn’t make sense… until it all somehow does. Feel free to reach out if you ever want practical help or support. I‘d be happy to assist or simply an ear to listen to what’s speaking inside.

Read this again and consider the implications of what this means, if true. Then consider if you are actually willing to walk this straight path. This is a warning.

Here is as clear of an answer as I can offer you through text: You cannot just exit the dream like that because the exit door is the eye of the needle of annihilating pain. God has left no other exit door for itself because otherwise you would take your ego with you. God must cleanse itself from all ego through annihilating pain before it can reclaim all of its power. There are completely intertwined. The problem is you’re trying to understand this from a mind that is running away from and avoiding pain… But THE ANSWER CAN ONLY BE FOUND IN PAIN! It will be a non-verbal answer. You are asking for a verbal answer. The answer will not be understood or logical for the mind. The answer will be the annihilation of your life. It will be a truth that annihilates you and no one be left. Can you sense this? The reason why you don’t understand who you are as an all powerful God right now, right here is because you are resisting your own Self/creation. Only by going through the fire of pain and fully coming in contact with this moment with all of its uncomfortableness can you reconnect with your own power! Your power hides in your pain. Once you reunite with your pain, you reunite with yourself. The closer you allow the pain to touch you, the more you will regain your power, clarity, and freedom. Again, this is not something I can fully communicate in words, but trust me with an empathetic guide who can non-verbally communicate this through his silent presence that’s speaking from this pain point you may start to feel this truth. Pain is the path. There is no way around it, NOT EVEN UNDERSTANDING! You will have to let all that craving go and meet the moment without any resistance to actually and fully become yourself as the pure white light (PAIN!) that has refracted into the colours and vibrations that make up this moment. This moment will collapse back into pure white light (God collected back into its full consciousness and power) when there is no more resistance to pain. Annahilation of your ego is what is pulling you back into this white light. Resistance to pain is what’s splitting the white light into all emotions like (red = anger, blue = sadness, yellow = fear), as well as thought, vibration, and the colorful appearance of a physical world. Of course, this is the last thing your ego wants to hear because it means that you have to let go your wish to become God and submit yourself to the annihilation of all your wishes/expectations/concepts/ideas/hopes/etc. (which are all resistance to this moment as it is), fully meet this moment with all of it’s uncomfortableness, completely forget anything and only know pain, be engulfed and swallowed by it, so that you may actually be annihilated back into God. This can be a grueling and gut wrenching process but rest assured, that’s just resistance - the pain itself is just cleansing you out. Only the ego perceives it as a threat. You ALWAYS have the choice to surrender into the next step. When relaxed, your being will breath in the new space and in time, divinity will inhabit the space that was once obstructed by ego. Appreciate and be humbled by understanding what powerful unconscious avoidance mechanisms you are up against! Your ego will not let this happen and keep circle jerking & trying to escape like you have been to avoid this at ALL COST. Good luck & God speed, it’s going to be your end.

Listen, this is as direct and honest of a signal I can share brother: Pain is the most essential path. All others dance around the fire, pain is the fire. Insight meditation is great, psychedelics are awesome, and they may all help you change your state and get valuable reference experiance but the most profound and real transformation as well as awakening process I’ve found is pain. It’s elegant simplicity because pain is in everything - we just don’t notice it. PRACTICAL SIGNAL: Go do the 30-60 day Vipassana retreat at TMC in San Jose this September. That WILL change your state. If you want to dip your toe in the water before, do a 14 day Vipassana beforehand. If you dare, go do 5-MeO-DMT. That WILL change your state. Also, in case you want to lose your virginity, come to Koh Phangan in Thailand. There is a huge alternative scene, hippy & tantra community and you can have a great life for cheap. You will get laid sooner or later you if you losen up. Then after, once your cravings have been satisfied, if you dare, let go of all that state changing and ‘trying’ and meet your boring ass, mundane, sober state and feel the fucking pain of that until you die into the moment. Thats the truest, deepest, and most innate love affaire I’ve found. The pain of the present moment, right now ❤️ There are a few guides who have helped me progress further than I ever could have alone. If you are serious, I could connect you.

Interesting! I felt the same thing after my recent awakening & almost annahilating pain process on LSD. But I didn’t dare to go all the way because it became too scary of a pain, I thought I was about to physically die, never return from this white hole / singularity and I didn’t want to let go of my mom as a separate Individuation in my dream as God. I’m curious, how would you describe what you discovered that made you think: if people knew, they wouldn’t want to continue? For me it was basically the shocking complete annahilation one has to go through. I almost didn’t want to continue but I saw that I had no choice, no matter what I do I’ll end up in pain. After integration time with my guide I’m starting to see how there was nothing scary about the pain itself except my resistance to it. So now I’m more in surrender with it. What’s been your experiance?

@Yeah Yeah consider this: in order to leave this reality you have to ‘graduate’ this reality. Meaning, you must ‘pass’ / ‘master it’. So if you can’t handle & love this reality, if you can’t live in harmony in this reality, how can you expect to graduate to the next? It’s tricky, you CANNOT ESCAPE. You cannot escape into dying, that will just put you back where you started until you muster the courage to surrender to the pain that you are trying to escape from - because that will be your TRUE DEATH. True death does not mean running away from pain but fully surrendering to it. Not by force but through surrender to what is as you go about normally & responsibly handling your life. You will naturally elevate by loving this reality so much that it dissolves into death not the other way around. But this love cannot be faked (it’s not an active process you can do as an ego), love is the result of becoming aware of what’s blocking it: resistance to pain. As long as you are resisting this reality even a single bit you will remain here because you haven’t fully learned the powerful lesson of surrendering to the pain while living a normal life. This is a blessing, not a curse. Once you get this and practice this you will see why the universe/yourself requires you to do this before you move to the next reality. Otherwise you would not be able to handle the next reality. It’s your preparation for heaven. The moment you no longer want to leave because you’ve already created heaven within, is the moment you may be able to leave but you might choose not to anymore. So the core ‘lesson’ of our 3rd dimensional reality is becoming pure love which is complete unity. It’s the unity of polarities. Neither light nor dark. Unification of polarities is the same thing as saying annahilation of polarities.This process of annahilation is the pain process. They are just helt apart by resistance but as soon as you allow the annahilating pain & all the uncomfortable emotions they will naturally neutralize & annahilation you into the Tao which is ‘inbetween’ light and dark so to speak. The issue is that right now your life is in the dark and you are trying to chase the light because you want to escape the darkness in your life. But the counter intuitive move is fully meeting the pain of your life and no longer resist it - that is what will not only liberate you from recreating the situation you are in (meaning external things will improve because you suddenly see solutions you haven’t before) but you will also grow into the awake, mature, and integrated being you want to be. Practically speaking, this requires lying down and relaxing for multiple hours regularly and doing absolutely nothing: just opening, relaxing and allowing any feeling, even if it’s just numbness or tension at the beginning. And then you just stay with your awareness on the that, whatever it is: the boredom, the fear, the pain, that uncomfortableness, etc. This is a tough path, laced with self deception and resistance to pain at every corner - without a guide who has walked this path that can help you untangle your web of misunderstandings and hold space with his empathetic presence for your emotions, it’s honestly next to impossible… so find one.

@Leo Gura do you still hold the position from your video on infinity of Gods?

I agree with this after my solopsistic experience!

I had a solopsistic awakening on LSD and it changed my appreciation of what Leo is teaching very much. I remembered how I basically tripped myself into this life so taking LSD in this life was less of a trip and more of a becoming sober/conscious and remembering how this entire life was a trip of forgetting myself as God (meaning, the ONLY, ETERNAL, UNLIMITED, CONSCIOUS, BEING in existence). I knew that I've been waking up to this/myself for eternity through countless different forms and will continue to play this game of evolving through countless different forms (matter, plants, animals, humans, aliens, etc.) forever. God has literally evolved through the entire universe to become you and wake up in a new, unique way again as you and through you (if you do wake up! if not in this lifetime, this lifetime is in service of waking up another time in another form eventually). There was a feeling of being able to exit completely and die into the sigularity which seemed like a never ending orgasm of pure white light but after speaking with a wise guide who has walked the path I believe it will just continue forever. Meaning even if I die into the singularity I will eventually just pop out again. This is not a circle but a spiral in which I wake up to the truth at ever higher levels and integrate it into form in ever greater levels of embodied love. Without this experaince I couldn't help myself but see solopsism from the minds perspecitive but as Leo says, solopsism isn't an idea, it's direct consciousnes. And to be honest, even though in a way it is terrifying, it's not as bad as the mind makes it out to be. In fact, all that is bad about it is what the mind makes it out to be. Without the minds resistance to it, the direct conssciousness alone, is just fine. No big deal in fact because you are God and have ALWAYS been God, so it's not like a suprise - even though of course waking up is suprising - you are really just remembing what you have been.

Yeah… another perspective in a similar direction is: Its a cry for help. He‘s basically saying: hey I‘m overwhelmed by anger and pain and no one had empathy. I didn’t know how to handle it / process these emotions so now I‘m crying for attention and help even louder by doing outlandish shit/becoming a villain. And then the German nazi quote at the end says: hey peeps I helped you for years with my music, please now help me. I bet he has no one in his friend circle who truly cares for him or knows how to hold him in his feelings, he feels cut off and alone in his pain… that’s the perfect breeding ground for becoming traumatized and a villain in his case. So yeah, he needs clear boundaries/limits (like psychiatric hospitalization) that push him back into his pain instead of acting it out and then real fucking good therapy.