Thought Art

Welcome to your finite doomed existence isn’t it heaven? ?

I always had a dream of being a musician. However, here I am at 27 and it seems that the realities of life are pulling me away from it. Or… they have. I feel as I am aging… though, I do enjoy the fruits of experience and the potential of being more wise and living life more wisely… I feel a deep sadness about not being a musician like Arcadefire, Bon Iver or whoever. I do enjoy the songs I’ve written and am grateful for my memories performing at festivals etc. I sense I’m not going to make the art that was in my heart. I don’t want to get too down in the dumps about it. I know life has a lot to offer outside of music. But, I had a dream. Sometimes I wonder if life is worth living if I can’t do this. My tinnitus I think really fucked me. Made me lose trust in God, music as a job. By the time I started pursuing music I was in my 20’s. Unfortunately I also had so much trauma and immaturity it often got in the way. I failed I think because of trauma and immaturity. So, becoming wise and mature seems to be the main focus. But, if im wise and mature but not being this artist I imagined.. I just find that hard to accept. I sometimes want to die simply because my direct experience is so far removed from this… fantasy. I question gods love, I question gods creation in these moments. Why give me such a deep love for music but make the actualizing of that love impossible? It seems like an odd thing for a perfect God to do. I admit, I wish I was 17 or 20. The fate of being a human is that we get old, we move through phases and are not guaranteed success. I am enjoying working on my Qigong but it’s likely to take years before it can pay all my bills It seems I may easily end up being a wage slave my whole life. This seems like a strange hell to me. I don’t wanna love a strange hellish existence of mediocrity or worse. I want to be wealthy, artistic, creative, healthy, etc. But, I’m getting old! It sucks. I notice all these old balding men… I feel as if I am already 70. I want to honour my life. Not that it matters in the end. I just… I just wanted to make music and do it professionally and really make something special. Oh well. Idk what’s point in solipsism or being God, or any of this if it’s so worthless to the dream. What kind of sick God created this? I know from experience God is infinite love. But , why me?

My experience

@integral No, I try not to self promote here. This is me:

Course is too advanced for me personally. I’m just not there right now for that I think. Personally would love a course on mastering psychology and thinking process.

Some great thoughts here everyone. Thank you. I will return to this thread regularly.

You might as well live life

Plus bad examples and parenting

Nope, still fear death. Psychedelics and spirituality have shown me things. But, in honesty none of that is DYING. So, I have no idea what it is.

Hello existence are you there

I’ve seen some wild shit when people trip. Don’t share with others…

@Michael569 The reality is, it takes years and decades to make a beautiful life. Especially when you try to do it and you are already 20+ years old. It'll take years to live off it. But, you can make a start now with learning, etcc. Many people will fail and live miserable shitty lives. But, you can succeed.

@Michael569 what’s hard about 6-12 months in savings is that… if you are broke chances are that will take years of decades to save up if you don’t have a high income.

Get off on her getting off. Don’t cum first. Remain horny and build up that sexual energy between you two and have fun.

@Juan Some simple math of your expenses vs savings will let you know how long your savings will last.

Read one of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books

But it can also be really nice

@Buck Edwards you just click learn more and then connect anyway

Osho, I want to feel the vibe people spoke about from being in his presence during his prime. I’d like to meet Mantak Chia. I’d like to meet Ram Dass, Socrates, some of the OG Greek skeptics, I’m interested in meeting a lot of people from history… hard to decide. I’d like to meet Leo cuz I heard we both 6”2 and we gotta see who is taller

Read the success principles by Jack Canfield

I don’t know or fully understand ur question

Don’t be a fool. You can hurt yourself tripping, or even others.

@OBEler Wow.. yeah it doesn’t work on me.

You can play the views game or the value game. You can do both as you think about your long term strategy. I am growing my Qigong YouTube channel. It’s always going to be niche but it’s part of my marketing and community building. I just finished my first year. I have about 288 subscribers and have seen most of my growth in the past 3 months. It seems to be picking up speed. I am getting lots of comments, shares and likes. I am seeing regular students watching, and commenting on new Qigong routines and community posts. I have regular traffic the last few months of about 150 views per 48 hrs. My last few videos have seen a large boost in views and engagement which feels nice. In the beginning I got hardly any views and to get 300 in a day feels great especially because I made my videos to help people, not to get views. Even though my views are small, that’s fine. That’s because I am focused on being a creator, not a competitor. I am focused on offering authentic value and engaging with my small audience. I am improving my product each week that I make a video, research Qigong more, etc. I am growing my audience, building my skills, taking care of my self, studying, and trying to find a long term balance that will ultimately result in my success. I am now building out a back end; funnels, news letters, online course, email lists, website, online products. The trick is to get the course sales to be largely automated in the long run. I see YouTube as a powerful tool for engaging and connecting with my audience/ students. I don’t see it as a main source of income in itself. But, because my brand and offer is movement based I focus on marketing and building my core audience through lots of free value. I often feel great joy and love as I think about my slow building Qigong business/ online school. I find it very beautiful. It’s joy only a life purpose level effort can create. I am building one of the best online Qigong schools in the world I think.