Thought Art

@Nahm Well, I am done with fear... If I am here I want to enjoy my life. But, there is so much shit inside and outside of me sometimes.

@Nahm Do you mean through death? Because, people talk about waking up... yet you are still here.

@Terell Kirby I do not hold all the cards. If you haven't notice, you have very little freedom. Part of living a good life is the relationships you form with others. But, people are lying assholes. Not everyone.. anyway. These are thoughts for my journal. Take care.

Yeah, the fact that we don't know how we got here, or know where we are going is a problem for me. What the fuck is this? I don't think another 50 years on this planet, with all these fake and lying people is something I can do. I just want to be a musician, but I am too scared. I just want to make music without all this stress and fear. Sometimes I think I would like to die, I just wish we knew more about it. I am grateful for being a human, but I think I could have played my cards better when I was 15. Now I am 25 and I feel like I am just getting older and so much of my potential is gone. Not sure if it's worth wasting 50 years here as some mediocre neurotic. No one is really your friend in this life, that is something I am learning. From your family to your roommate everyone lies. Everything you think will make you happy either doesn't or is taken away from you. I am scared of things like cancel culture, etc.. I don't know what to do. I am so tired of all this responsibility...

Nah, Life is the truth. Your hands are the hands of God.

This is interesting information which, I suspect requires a lot of maturity to handle. I am sure it's easy for a devil to convince themselves they are acting by the hand of the universe. If it really does happen, and I have felt this love already at least in droplets along my journey. If it does happen, then it will be true and there will be no question. If that day comes when the Universe calls upon my vessel, I will prepare. But, until then I am normal mundane human pursuing life purpose and a rich deep understanding of myself and universe. I love the Arcadefire lyrics from their song rebellion "Now here's the Sun and it's alright, Now here's the moon and it's alright... But every time you close your eyes.. .Lies Lies!"

@Gili Trawangan Trivial

I find I tend to toggle between extreme optimism, but then this feeling of being trapped in space time to this system makes me want to kill myself. Reality is one hell of a fucking thing. Not sure why I as God am creating this.

Just reading some of it off this website, It seems to be pretty on about infinity and unity. I don't know if I believe any of it's setting but it's interesting for sure. https://www.lawofone.info/

Well, it seems like the truest thing there is at the moment.

This is so confusing for me still..

Delusion isn't something understood like that, just observe as you go throughout life. It's constant, nuanced etc

Online is just the connection point imo, then you meet in person

Yes, I've had self deceptions that led to metaphysical and epistemological error. I sense however, that my metaphysics was already egoicly skewed which led to this happening. Plus, it's such a radically different state... It's easily misinterpreted.

This is such an important episode. Couldn't have come earlier. Opening up this thread for discussion.

@Daniel347 Because it chose this at this 'moment in time' out of an infinite possibility set. Only infinity could decide with so much choice. I think this is part of the divinity in reality. Is that it's as it is now and not some other way. At least at this moment.

I think reality is actually infinity, not infinite possibilities of reality. Reality created itself because it's infinitely intelligent.

https://dearmouring.teachable.com/courses/de-armouring/lectures/3881273 I am really called to this work I think. The responsibility here is huge, but I think it would be really beautiful and rewarding.

I appreciate this persepective

The more I meditate, the more I self reflect, the more I look at the world and what other men and women do now, and have done throughout history I realize that I am fully capable of committing evil. In fact anyone is. Each of has has committed evil, or knowingly or unknowingly benefited from it in some way. My spiritual work is bringing me further away from identifying with anything, and instead identifying with everyone and everything. From this absolute identity I realize that, me as the human race, as the planet and as God am so many disgusting and evil things. And, I now begin to fully accept it all as myself. It isn't easy. But, I think it's important for my life purpose that I step up to the task as God to fully see, accept and understand the evil that I am capable of. Just know that as you are going through your shadow work, and discovering these painful truths about yourself , I as the God in all things I am right by your side and I love you unconditionally. I will be your friend forever. I personally as Thought Art, Love those who take this walk through their shadow because I intuit the fruits it will bring humanity and future generations. I understand. I know. I love you and I forgive you. Forever. I think when I started to get into spirituality I thought it would be all flowers and roses. But I see now that is not the case. That shadow work and radical self honesty is very risky and challenging. You might discover aspects of yourself that you wish you could keep hidden. There are many risks and rewards with radical self honesty. We have so many aspects of ourselves that we hide from. I am beginning to see that all of society has a massive shadow, so much suffering, secrets, past mistakes etc that people carry around. It's sort of disheartening sometimes. As I am trying to understand the nature of God, and trying to reconcile Leo teachings and the idea of this whole thing being infinite love I struggle to fully understand the nature of love. It at times brings to me my knees. I want to see myself as a good person, but I realize that if I am everything... There are really no good people. Just humans. Just God. When I look at my past mistakes, my previous toxic relationships, the mean or careless things I have done to others... Sometimes I feel weak, and fully of a deep self hatred. How could I have been so foolish? How could I have hurt this person? Maybe I don't deserve love after all and I will live a life of suffering.. Maybe that is all we deserve?.... My compassion for humanity grows I think to a level that most people would consider evil or insane.. This whole situation that humans are in is sort of overwhelming. There is so much evil, abuse, lying, suffering, wage slavery, sweat shops, wars, rapes, child trafficking etc... As I realize that this is the current state of many of God's behaviour on the planet it takes me back. Clearly all this evil exists, and the capacity for committing evil is in me just as it is in anyone... It really is humbling me and making me realize that each day and each second my of life is precious. I don't think we as a society fully realize how complex this whole situation is. How many people are suffering with secret lusts, fears, self hatreds, mistakes, crimes they hide from others, the deep and quiet desperation that fills humanity. We spend so much time as a culture hating and judging outward when the worst devil is really the one sitting there. You. You are the only devil there is. I understand now that people are very selfish and weak. That anyone is capable of self deception and committing evil to others. We are such a young species. We don't understand our emotions, our sexuality, our power! We understand so little, and are fucking selfish. What does it mean to really love humanity? What does it mean to really love God? I think so many people think they 'Love God' or 'Love humanity' or want the planet to be 'One Love, One Heart' But, you only say that to the point that it serves your selfish ego. I am sensing more and more the importance of being radically open, self reflective and honest with myself to accept all aspects of my lower self and animal nature because if I don't, then that shadow could harm others. I don't think people realize how deep spiritual and shadow work goes. How isolating it can feel at times when you are coming to terms with aspects of yourself, that though to may have never expressed are there within you. This to me is some of that hardest aspects of spiritual work to talk about but some of the most important. I think that the more people who are able to fully own the evil of humanity, and to see that capacity within themselves the better. We need to be real people. Not wear masks of good people. But, we are so scared of societies hatred and judgement there is no room for people to do this work. I want to create a way for people to be able to develop a radical self love that shatters through all of this. I want the planet to work towards owning it's shadow so we can end all this evil and abuse. For me if a spiritual path is going to be cleared for people. It has to be cleared for real people. The same people who inhabit this earth, who make these mistakes etc. I know not everyone on the planet is a criminal, I don't consider myself to be one. But I know we all have the capacity to do so. We simply don't or haven't yet acted on things because we are decent enough and care enough about the well being of others and our own survival. It really starts with me. Starts with you. How deep is your love? As I fully embrace myself as God, as the infinite potential for all things good or bad... I see myself in everyone in every situations and sometimes my heart cries. I want to be the eternal friend. (some people think I am calling everyone evil, and if anyone does something good they are wearing a mask. That is not what I am saying at all. This is a limited post specifically focusing on the shadow of humanity. Shadow work is a good thing good people do. Don't project what isn't said here on to me as if I am saying things I am not) Good People do shadow work. Good people are willing to be real people instead of defend and fight anyone who would question their goodness.

@Vrubel ahah duh lol... from the little I've seen it looks normal. But, maybe you can ask someone who knows, like where you got it.

What was the abuse?

@Godishere I don't think there is anything wrong with survival or lying etc. For me the point is to see and embrace that it's happening and happens. I think the point of the post is "at least be honest with yourself". It may just keep you out of trouble as well. Instead of having some shadow express itself that gets you into trouble. etc

Whats FB?

This is spiritual bypassing imo. Sure, it's divinity but is the killing of indigenousness children by residential schools, with like 3000 graves found just this year 'divine'? Yea, sure on the absolute scale. But that, is evil my friend. Killing children is evil, at least on the relative scale. We need to balance relativity and absolute in a profound way imo. Of course, from the absolute there is no evil. Which is a useful insight I actually used in part of this post. But, on the relative sense when you see the suffering people go through and how long and slow and dragged out life is on a relative level.. Well, the absolute means nothing when you are experiencing hell.