Thought Art

@Breakingthewall The goal of my journey is infinite beauty and love. Whatever it takes.

Yeah, my deepest awakenings I realized: 1. Absolute Safety 2. Absolute Love 3. Eternity 4. Infinity 5. Oneness 6. Love and forgiveness of all people 7. Freedom of taboo of the body and nudity/ touching 8. Total Self forgiveness 9. Perfect Peace 10. That reality IS love. 11. Total Freedom 12. This present moment as absolute truth.. When sober there is a lot of questions, ego accumulations etc that need working on. And, I still think I need to have more stable awakenings to really dive deeper and learn more. Then there was the possibility of me being in a slumber and hiding from my true powers.

My deepest awakenings I felt like I understood why every human has done anything they ever did and I realized it was Love. But, love with ignorance. I love and forgive everyone in my highest awakened states. Forever. This is why I teach Qigong and I will be studying and teaching high level Sacred Sexuality, breath work, high level journaling/ contemplation and inner work/ shadow work... in the future. Embodying Infinite Love. It's my ego and cognitive behaviour now, in my day to day that I am improving and I will continue to grow deeply over the next 5 years. I still have a tonne of fears, doubts, uncertainties I am working through. Trying to wrap my head around human behaviour, survival and the social matrix and my own mind. Each day I increase my awareness.

Wait, you wanna kill yourself for feeling masculine? You should speak to a psychologist. Just give it time. It sounds like there is something else going on with you. Just be patient and relax. Call a suicide help line and speak to them. I've had plenty of suicidal thoughts in my life I know it well. I now call the help line right away when it happens so I am not alone with those thoughts. You are loved, and perfect.

Understanding only seems like part of the puzzle.

Do you feel an ego boost or something knowing more than me? just kidding. Take care for now.

So, me realizing I am God. That changes nothing about the human experience though. How many times do I have to say I get that I am God before I am believed around here? Clearly I have had some awakenings I am still integrating. There is degrees to the realizations and I assume there are many more for me to have. Not sure how deep it goes though in this finite realm. Okay is this me tricking myself into thinking Jacfly33 actually is somewhere on the forum? Huh huh? There must be a difference between 'knowing' or 'thinking' I am God compared to a total God realization. If it is just me, then why didn't 5meomalt work?

Okay Leo. When I get it, we got it. It just being me imagining the forum, you, all your videos, all my life experiences and just imaging that a bubble of experience exists out side of this. Then, all my suffering, mistakes, confusion, success, love, adventures etc were all me imagining this adventure I've been on. That is hilarious to me. So, I created Leo and Arcadefire to lead me to awakening.

Alright alright. You already know I get it. You just aren't sure yet because you're having fun in the process of awakening. You are just talking to yourself right? You are me waking up me. If that was true, you would already know exactly why I am unsure, and haven't awakened because YOU are God too. Don't forget we are inseparable. Don't forget who made you I can stomach it. I just don't wanna be self deceived. So, it's in my bag of possibilities. If it's true, it's true. I look forward to an awakening that lasts.

Um, I think you may need to read up a bit more on the Buddha... The fable is that he literally sat under the bodhi tree until and wouldn't move until he became enlightened.

It makes me feel a bit stressed at time, but also conscious. Like, if you are trying to do a 90 day video challenge posting a video everyday.. and you miss a day you failed the challenge. So it exists. You can fail a quiz a relationship can fail business can fail etc... It's just how do you relate and contextualize those failures. However, its only finite and not a that big of a problem.

How does one reconcile you are telling that to someone else. The only way I can do that, given what I think you are pointing to, assuming it is correct... Is that God is Imagining you exist somewhere and are telling another person some where else that their consciousness is absolute... From my perspective I am imaging you two talking about something. Mu can't have his own bubble nor can you if what you are saying is true. So, I am imagining everything and I created Leo and even my own 'ignorance'. The problem here is that the language is just too sloppy. Either your playing some fucked up mind games with people, or It's just me. This infinite bubble.

Hey man, take some time.. or a lot of time away from God, non-duality etc and just focus on getting mentally healthy. Worrying about all these ideas can be dangerous. Just chill and get healthy. I don't know what you are going through. But, ground yourself. I see you posting these one sentence threads and stuff. People are worried about you. Don't let this stuff screw up your life. Just be a real person. Solipsism isn't true. These ideas can damage you if you are not mentally stable. So, focus on building that foundation first. Sounds like you may have some things going on that need to be addressed. Consider talking to a professional.

A deep trip can bring you into some paradoxical realizations that you imagine vipassana. deep trips blow vipassana out of the water but I’m sure they have synergy

@Girzo it just sounds like stupidity

I don’t see it that way. If everything is your imagination… enjoy it. It’s all alone and the only thing that exists… so take care of it. It’s special. Self love. I also wonder if what you are saying is really a correct interpretation of Buddhism.

@Jacob Morres I think mindfulness is a piece of the puzzle. But, stress and anxiety come from many different aspects of the human accumulation. for example with Qigong, meditation and journaling I’m able to calm down 70-80%. However, my cognitive behavioural problems, transference, trauma AQ, emotional mastery etc… all these things are related. I think mental/ physical health is really a holistic endeavour. I still feel fear and worry myself. I’m making a lot of progress but I myself still have work to do. Even if you want to change to put your partner through your trauma is just unfair. IMO. I still don’t deal with certain fears, traumas, setbacks, etc in a high quality high AQ way. But, because I understand the building blocks of AQ I get better and stronger, resilient with each adversity. to me mindfulness is the Meta skill that allows you to use other skills, frameworks and practices to achieve the desired emotional, physical and cognitive states/ processes that allow you to live a life that is in congruence with your goals and well being. mindfulness can even be more challenging when you start to feel all the strong emotions, fears, traumas and shadows you have long covered up with drugs and distractions .

It’s unlimited

I think failure is a concept. Some failures are good others screw you if you wanna play in the social matrix. Your life can totally be ruined if you end up in jail or get socially ostracized. But, good list.

It’s one thread. I see plenty of people out there who never think of bad stuff and it happens to them. I agree with you on the law of attraction stuff but… it’s also a healthy technique to take inventory of what you don’t want to do… I also admit I have long had anxiety since I can remember. There literally are mistakes to avoid in life. Like assaulting people, or overdosing or killing someone with your car. some mistakes come out of no where, while many of them can be avoided by simply noting them. I’m not intending to dwell on any of the items here or worry. I’m building of list of dangers… because they are real. To me a limited life is a ruined life. I wanna take this thing as far as I can take it. I’m not interested in just sitting around at a 9-5… I wanna create an impact. I want to express myself in the highest possible way. I don’t want anything getting in my way. So, while I’m not well known and I’m young I gotta make a list of what not to do. Especially as you are awakening you can easily misapply spiritual teachings and jump off a bridge or something. 10 + year time horizon. Daily effort.

I like it

Hm, I would consider listening to other people or even getting used to being in silence. I also listen to a clip before bed or when I get home from work. I feel like I am still trying to digest and recontextualize what Leo is saying with my own contemplation and direct experience. im sure I’ll out grow it soon. It’s sort of like eating candy sometimes.

Because there is only ever eternity shape shifting into different stuff

So, their being a planet, other people, etc is just a back story for the present moment?

That’s your projection. who said I don’t know what I want? I’m literally achieving things everyday here… lots of other people share my fears. The point of this thread is to get feedback from others on the things to look out for. In order to build something stable I will take note of the dangers ahead. if I am dealing with psychological problems I’ll post it in the part of the forum specifically chosen for that. If you don’t wanna read that I’m struggling don’t. And I honestly don’t care if my posts bother you because you have the freedom to not read them. i may feel stuck at times as I work on developing my Adversity Quotient. But, I’m working everyday to improve my life. I don’t need people like you judging me for having fears and doubts. I’m improving everyday. I’m just gonna keep posting how I want to. Glad to see how judgmental you are of other peoples journeys. Your not helping right now. And I’m not suffering right now. Your just being rude. If you don’t like my threads don’t read them.