Byun Sean

yeah I feel like a lot of people do spiritual practice to feel better or to end suffering because they suffered so much in their life. I feel like its a lot more fun and exciting though when the motivation is on exploring deeper dimensions of what reality is on an existential level. For me new levels of consciousness is not just about feeling good although that is one benefit. Your entire life transforms from the inside out since your changes in your consciousness affect your personality, relationships, career, diet, passion and love for life, understanding of the human mind etc. I have also heard that people who pursue awakening to end suffering or just to feel happy usually actually end up having very hard paths filled with suffering and hardship. @Cosmin_Visan Yeah a lot of people involved in spirituality develop whats called a spiritual ego. In doing this they separate themselves as being "more conscious" or "more awake/ evolved" than normal people. This is actually very common and might not fade away until that person fully awakens and sheds that last layer of ego. A lot of these people on the spiritual path have just began to tap into direct awareness of the spiritual truths that they speak of but have not quite grown enough to be able to communicate them to people who don't have spiritual experience in a way that makes sense to them.

Of course you can't understand what it means for you to not exist. You have to die first to understand that. It's obviously not true for you. Thats all that matters. If you believe them or come to some logical understanding of nonduality it still does you no good because your still not conscious of anything new. You've only created a nice intellectual model in your head. Models can be useful to a certain extent, but never confuse the model for the territory. For all you know, Nonduality is false. You don't know until you do the exercises to raise your own consciousness and see. Keep doing self inquiry, meditation, yoga, psychedelics, whatever works for you.

@Psychonaut What do you want out of a relationship? Would you rather be single? Are you feeling bored in the relationship? What kind of experience do you want that you aren't getting with this person?

eh enlightenment doesn't exist. Just remove yourself and see what happens lol

Just be happy trump didnt win lol

Check your own experience.

Death is an illusion. It never existed. A fiction created by the human mind. When you die you will be right here because there is nowhere else to go.

don't focus as much on the money part. Focus on asking yourself what it is you really want to do with your life. What do you love? What are your top strengths you could use to help other people. Once you find something you are passionate about that aligns with something your really freaking good at, then figure out how you can turn that into a marketable career/ business idea. Trust that your deep drive and passion for doing what you love and helping yourself and other people through it will drive your mind to figure a way to make it work. If you find a job that makes you money but isn't what you love, you'll be back at square one because that was the entire reason your not going to school. Go for the big cheese and nothing less. Also study up on business and marketing with books, courses, etc so you can execute your plan effectively.

I'd say if he really loves the game let him play. Just make sure his play time doesn't start to take up his entire life in an unhealthy way. Like make sure he's still doing well in school. encouraging him to engage socially etc. You as a parent get to determine where you draw the line. But I can tell you from personal experience I grew up playing violent video games and I don't consider myself even remotely hostile or violent at all. Kids are generally smart enough to make the distinction between killing in a fantasy world on a screen and the seriousness of real life killing.

People usually swing to one side or the other a bit too much due to various traumas or wounds from the past. 1. There is the unhealthy over-emphasis on love from other people or through relationships which causes neediness and a lack of love for oneself. 2. There is the unhealthy closing off from other people making one love themselves as an individual but also selfish and closed off from others. These are very common wounds. Number one usually stems from being abandoned from people or not feeling the love they wanted as a child. Number two seems to stem more from feeling hurt or having ones emotional boundaries invaded in the past by either parent or lover. A fully integrated human being loves themselves completely and is 100 percent detached, but at the same time is 100 percent open hearted to people, relationships, and community.

It looks like you don't know exactly what you want to do yet but you want to work in the domain of raising consciousness. Here's an exercise that might help: First build a list of jobs you might be passionate about in your field of interest: Then once you have your list, start really thinking about and researching what a day in the life of that job would be like if you already had that job now. For example: Psychedelic retreat guide Now visualize every possible detail of what a day in the life would look like as a psychedelic retreat guide. -What Kinds of people would come to your retreats? -How would you interact with people ideally? -What emotions would you feel on the job? -What would your typical schedule look like? -What kind of value or expertise would I be providing to the people who attend my retreats? -What kind of people would my co-workers be? -Where would I work? -What skills and knowledge am I using that are providing great value and incentive to people coming to my retreats? And then you can introspect and find answers inside of yourself and figure out how much you would like that job. Maybe you need to do more research on one or all of the potential jobs you want through the internet, books, or talking to people. Maybe you need to attend one of these retreat centers or hire one of these people who are already in the position you might want to be in and see what they do from first hand experience. See what inspires you and what isn't so exciting as you thought. Maybe what your missing is understanding of the business aspect and you need to do more research on business and marketing. The bottom line is: introspect, research, question, and visualize. But also if you can go out into the world and find tangible experience with these job positions so that you don't feel like your LP is just speculation or ideas. Also don't worry about the money part just yet. First figure out exactly what you want to do. Then once you have that nailed you can start planning a strategy to make money with it.

Fashion trends are changing all the time. If I were you I would probably just try out a bunch of different stuff and pick the ones I like best. There are likely very good youtube videos on this stuff.

keep going. You can go far enough your life will be over and even beyond that. This monstrous thing we call ego that blocks us from our True Self is so multidimensional and complex with hundreds of thousands of strong body guards and soldiers. The war within has just begun for you. Best of luck. Set yourself up for the long haul. Never give up.

I am focused on you because I care about you and I see some of yourself in me. I've held the same view and I know where your at. The only value you get from my posts is the possibility of growth that can be had from them. Your heavily wounded and you don't realize it. I'll admit. This is hard stuff. I've been through this. Of course I could leave you alone and you would eventually come to this on your own time but I'm in the spirit of helping so I'm not 'helping' from a wounded triggered place but I'm willing to make a little conflict with you if it means there is the slight chance what I say will make your life better. So my goal is not to impose an ideology on you or make you believe something. My posts will either cause you to look inward and open your mind to the possibility of exploring something about yourself. And you will eventually heal yourself. Or you will close your mind off and keep ranting on the forum while you still hold unresolved pain in your relationship to people. Your choice. By all means. Look inward and realize that I was wrong. But don't avoid looking inward at all.

@Thestarguitarist14 Lol Isn't it interesting your one of the only guys on this forum that holds this particular view and everyone including me is telling you relationships work otherwise. We say your view is toxic and packed with baggage because it is. But of course you will never admit this because if you ever admit this as a possibility you have to risk giving up this big part of your ego which is threatening. You say others are needy. Well your 5x as needy for your need to be separate from others especially in intimacy with women.

My statement is purposefully aggressive and angry sounding in tone because you need fucking wake up call. Your asleep to your own baggage and your taking a tole on yourself and others until you fix it. I know where your at because I've been there and back. I've walked the spiritual path alone with your exact mindset and I know all the ins and outs of it. It's so damn obvious to me it looks like a giant shit stain in the middle of the sidewalk. My comments come from a conscious place of care for you. Not demonization. I only know this too well because I've been through the same shit and held the same trashy narcissistic individualistic perspective that claims you are this 'ultimate awakened person who is soooo developed and conscious' that you don't need anyone and that anyone who seeks relationships is automatically needy. Well thats just a front. You've closed your heart off so much you can't even imagine being intimate with someone yourself anymore. If you were really so conscious and awakened in that area you wouldn't be bashing others on the forum. Your projecting here.

@SQAAD Of course its not 'bad' to be unenlightened. It's not a moral issue. It's just a matter of what serves you. People are interested in enlightenment when they realize it is a more fulfilling way to live. You decide: Consciousness or Selfishness. See which one works best for you and do that.

@Thestarguitarist14 So are you just gonna keep ranting on the forum about this or are you ever gonna turn inward and look at your damn shadow material for your own neediness. You've been spinning your wheels on this same shit for ages now man. Grow the fuck up. Take some responsibility and turn your ass inward. You deliberately suppress your own neediness and project it onto others so you can feel superior to those more 'needy' than you. Really you just have baggage you are unwilling to look at. Deal with your trauma and leave other people who are participating happily in relationships alone. Period.

sitting down and having. conversation about this with your gf might help where you tell her your feelings about your passion in a way that is non-aggressive and caring to her and all that stuff you just wrote in the post. You both can then agree on time you will spend together vs time you want to spend on your passion. You can agree that you set X amount of time away during the day just focused on your passion. That way you can spend time with just her when you are not working. And you can be 100 percent focused when you are.

All these things increase your value aka quality in the eyes of a woman: consciousness/ love personality Detachment from outcome (Non-neediness) confidence funniness/ humor job and career money looks/ body social status A lot of these things overlap with each other and there are probably more stuff that can go on here. These are just the ones I could come up with off the top of my head. You likely don't need to excel in every area to get your dream girl. But maximizing your value always increases your odds. so like for example if you don't think you excel in looks and body you can work your ass off on your personality, level of consciousness, job and career (maybe work on getting a job position that you love and earns well), socialize more so your more relaxed and detached etc.

Nowhere is it written in the universe that if you are a great kind caring honest cool guy that you automatically should get the girl you like. The girl decides not you. We must understand guys and girls are not logically choosing who they are attracted to just like you aren't. There are basic forces of nature involved in attraction in both guys and girls. We can either complain about the rules. Or we can try our best to get what we want inside the boundaries nature set up for us.

Nothing is a waste of time until you think it is

Because if they weren't you wouldn't be here

@Karmadhi Girls aren't looking for sex with any guy. She generally wants a solid relationship which is why she is picky. So a bunch low quality guys 'simping' a girl doesn't really do much for her. She's focused on her agenda. She will think "God damn all the guys that go for me suck. All I want is one quality guy that cares for me and doesn't just want to get into my pants and leave." The guy version of this would be "Damn all the girls I find attractive friend zone or reject me. All I want is one hot girl!" Self esteem is much more than confidence in the way you look. It's a sense that you've got life handled and you can take responsibility and get what you want out of life. It also has to do with the amount that you love yourself which is subjective. Thats gotta be earned. Even if you are born with a perfect female body and are like another Kim Kardashian for instance. Your life is still gonna suck ass if you don't work on your life on the interior too. You do the same with girls you find unattractive. It goes both ways. Also, a guy that is not insecure won't give a fuck about how he looks. He will go for the girl no matter what because he doesn't fear rejection. Either he gets the girl or he doesn't. Plain simple. The difference is an insecure person is unwilling to accept rejection so they come up with excuses for why they can't do it. Again. It's the same thing as a woman you find unattractive walking up to you and saying "Hey I'm attractive, I'm kind, I'm caring. Be my boyfriend! Why not? You only like those hot bitches? Wow." See attraction is not a logical choice. It is built into the system. Either you meet those criteria for attracting a certain girl or you don't. So many 'nice guys' complain because they think by being nice to a woman they deserve sex in return and women generally smell this from a mile away and are repelled by it. It's absurd if you think about it. "Why aren't you falling for my deception of being a nice guy on the surface but manipulating you for sex behind the scenes? You should be more stupid and sleep with me for being a weak 'nice guy' anyway. Otherwise you are shallow and stupid and only date 'bad boys' and 'alphas'." Sex and dating is survival. The woman doesn't have to cater to your agenda. She is focused on hers. You are focused on yours. Goes both ways. A woman needs to know if the man has the balls and is into her to risk his emotions and approach her showing that he really is into her. A woman can put herself in social situations and strike up a conversation with men she finds physically attractive and get to know them, but she won't know if the guy sees her sexually and values her enough until he makes the first move. Otherwise if she approaches any hot looking guy. He may just pump and dump her which has serious emotional consequences for the woman. Women often get very attached emotionally after sex. They are not picky because they are stuck up. They are picky because they need to be. Because neediness means you are trying to extract happiness from her and get your own needs met. The degree to which you are needy for her simultaneously shows her how much you don't care about her feelings because you are only focused on meeting your needs and not hers. Your fooling yourself here. Your not in love with her. Your in love with meeting your needs. The solution here for the man is to man up and work on himself so he can be in a relationship with a girl to share love with her. Not extract it. Guys do care more about looks for relationships. A lot of quality men will know they have options with hot women if they want and thus they will be selecting the one that they feel would be compatible with in a long term relationship. They look at life situation, personality and character, etc. High quality men aren't needy for sex. In fact they see sex as a means of satisfying and pleasing the girl more-so than just themselves. Anyone become a high quality man if they are willing to put in the work.

This is a highly self-biased position. Women have their own journey that is just as hard if not even more difficult sometimes than for men. A quality man wants a quality girl inside and out. If a woman never works on herself and has low self esteem for instance, she will attract a partner that is equally selfish and dysfunctional regardless of how hot she looks. This can create a cycle of dysfunctional relationships and be very destructive even if the woman looks good on the outside. The process of going from a low self esteem average looking- below average girl to a hot quality high self esteem woman is long and difficult. Beauty standards put so much pressure on women it's insane. You see guys only pay attention to getting the hot quality girl at the end of their own path when they become successful in their life. What they don't focus on is that just like their are low quality men that are struggling trying to get better with women, low quality women are also struggling just as much to find a proper relationship with a man, have a support system for her emotions, heal herself of all her inner baggage etc. On top of that women take care of the whole childbirth process and have a period every month. They generally have a higher need for intimacy than most guys and thus they are always looking for the right mate but they are limited to the few men that go after them. They have limited time and energy and can only invest her emotions into one man at a time. When a guy breaks up with her it may feel like the world is ending because she doesn't know if she will ever find a man again. See men have the privilige of being the hunter which many guys take for granted. Guys have the freedom to chat up any woman they like and possibly attract her if she is single. As the girl. A hot woman will likely put herself in social situations but she won't approach guys because she is looking for things like character, status, confidence, funniness, emotional stimulation etc. Those things generally can only be found out by talking with a guy one on one and getting to know him for a little while. See if she feels safe around him. That she is attracted to him. That he is attracted to her. That he cares enough he won't pump and dump her. See most guys though never think about this perspective. All they see is themselves getting rejected or accepted by the hot girl they want making women seem like they are just a prize that just sits there effortlessly on her looks waiting to be taken in by a hot rich conscious guy. Guys have their own struggles so I am not arguing one is harder than the other. How the hell would we measure that and such a debate would be foolish. I just hope to shed some light on the woman's perspective.