remember

what about using snake poison instead? just a healthy amount? did anyone ever try that... bad for vegans though. come on there are a lot of poisons out there that could be tested, they just don`t sound so clean like "minerals". the whole point is that medicine stands on the shoulder of giants.

that was an answer to your question. it is not about to seek hope in the future but to seek hope in the now. do you seek hoplessness for the future in seeing everything as hopless? maybe that`s where the ego gets entrapped in.

@traveler if you seek hoplessness you will find it everywhere.

what about: there is a path, but only a fool will walk it? transcending foolishness is transcending a path to the magic of a world towards the inner eye, the path was there all along, but the vision first needs to be developed. of course if the legs don`t do what the fool wants them to do, that`s another question that needs to be reflected.

@peanutspathtotruth you are in berlin right? so there is a space i have on my list i wnant to visit - they also have thereapists there, i guess it`s good to maybe find an adress or get into contact with what kind of therapist might be a good one for you. having a look into what therapy could offer or just going on your own search. maybe it`s not what you are searching for but it could be leading to what you are searching for - the biggest problem of course is that you need to know where to find a good therapist. they are not specialized on that but if you ask the right questions you maybe can get some help there, it`s interesting either way. i think there are a lot of really good therapists in berlin, i even once met someone in a cafe who does therapies with a therapy dog - it was about emotional response. sometimes it doesn`t klick with the first therapist. https://berlin.stillpointspaces.com/

@cle103 do shaddow work, embrace your feminine side, love the painbody. if you do it right the panic attack will resolve in a heartopening - see the chance not the fear. the fear is already close to you. you are just afraid of your beating heart, surrender. do you fear darkness or do you fear light?

if god is experiencing all of it why should there be a separation? but of course we can think about the productivity of socializing and realize that sometimes it seems to not lead anywhere constructive, then it might be more destructive. returning to a meditation practice in both cases will probably give one more understanding about the nature of the case - there is no better or worse to it, but socializing can open the mind beyond own limitations. i wonder what everyone is doing on a forum solipsising or socializing?

@Ibn Sina notice that you are telling all of that to yourself. revision is a skill.

i don`t have a wife/girlfriend can i still join?

hahaha yep, the funny thing about the data there is, even if the airpollution is so high you can feel it in the lungs and even if the app shows you how high it is, and even if you almost can`t see the sun anymore almost no one wears a mask. it`s unavoidable, they don`t even have to controll the narrative, they don`t even have to censor and still they sometimes fake it down a little bit so it`s not in the red zone anymore but in the yellow. it doesn`t matter if you controll it or not it`s the same. so in a country of free speech what would you do? https://aqicn.org/city/beijing/

in what? free speach? or maybe about the data on air pollution?

@Baldmunt it`s also a question about being a country that already sacrifices a lot for environment, but what can a small country change if the giants don`t change. i can understand that dynamic aswell. how can david do all the work for goliath?

@Baldmunt but the discussion about sea level rising should be a huge thing especially in the netherlands - i mean come on you are the best dike builders. how can this not affect the people in the country? you even are the country of windmills. undersealevel

it`s so interesting as in some areas on the world it is quite observable that it`s drastically changing. for example someone living in the bavarian alp region would have noticed that economically tourism is not really profitable anymore as in some winters, a lot of winters recently we have to use snow canons to recive skiing tourists. and bavaria is on eof the most conservative parts of germany. why do they not deny the climat change you might ask. germany is one of the countries which is very stable in a lot of climate aspects, we don`t have hurricanes or earthquakes or floods (well we had some not too long ago) and we had always strong winters and meh summers - the summers got better by the way that`s a plus for us. also there is not too much sea but still the planing on dikes for the future is a topic.

and no women!

he is comparing and tangled up a lot in the comparison to german politics, we have a different complexity of parties where the same amount of voters around one million migrated from the moderate right to the new right wing party (which has some serious nazi propagand going), as from moderate left and from the left wing party together. although a lot of these voters are from east germany and it is very likely they swinged exactly because of the east west dynamics, democracy is only 30 years old for them. so he did some kind of maths that is kind of interesting. it`s really difficult to put it in words, already tried it for some time but the country psychology/dynamic is so complex that i would say there are parallels but it`s not nessecarily the same dynamic, but a quite similar one could be the case. it`s just some kind of maths i will probably ponder upon for a while. by the way why did trump invite kim jong un to south korea? little difficult to get the us over there probably.

@Ibn Sina then how can you say it seems you already reached the end of learning. do you know what starts at the end of learning?

revision repetition is a skill, it`s also a skill to not only memorize it - you are probably under pressure where you learn that but be aware that the theoretical knowledge doesn`t make you understand. the difference between skill and memory try to figure that out. sorry just came from a thread that was called mark my words. and the answer was not correct! if you would read it again you didn`t really answer to the question.

well every possibility is a possibility, trumps election teached me that - it`s the security about the impossibility which makes the impossible possible sometimes, like with the brexit. maybe staying alarmed is not the worst choice - imagine your fears, don`t let them go keep them right focused on that!

@Ibn Sina learn how to drive a bike, a car an instrument and then tell me again how you did that with your memory, please step by step! it`s good to know how the schoolbus looks but you probably have to get on it to arrive at school.

that`s bs in a sense as identity is not about labels but about belonging to a social group. at age nineteen s/he starts to cut the ties with the family tribe finding the true identity with the tribe of friends and likeminded. this has to do with finding out about oneself and is of course bound to how we dress and project our identity outwards to make clear where we belong. the lipstick is not a lable it is a symbol of female energy and beauty. @Annonymous starting with growing the hair is a really good start, will take a while though. i always loved to brush the hair and try some styles when i was younger it feels really good when they grow longer if you once cut them too short and then the growing out is a pain can understand how that is feeling. always recommending rhodiola for better mood stability because i like that so much it gives you some streangth for the whole family problems. of course having to hide femininity from your dad is a problem which has to do with a lot of selfesteem until you can have a coming out - but as you are in the process of finding out it`s maybe not really the best time to already let him know as you are not really safe yourself about what you might really want. so it`s not so bad maybe. you could start laquering your toe nails, if you don`t walk barefeet a lot. i almost never wear laquer on my fingernails, because it`s such a work and cutting the finger nails short from time to time is not so bad, if you have your toes nice and glossy

also quittung before having the vision is far from ideal, could be a trap into the next job or a worse spiral down. you must have at least a vision with a solid kernel.

currently i`m looking into rebound effects for better energy management on a bodymind/mindbody/spiritualbody level - realized rebound effects are also pretty interesting for energy in general. just as a sidenote if anyone is interested in going deeper into these topics. maybe we have to think about saving on energy first before the whole matter even makes sense.

@Annonymous did you ever try to live your femininity? transcending trans identity would mean you would need to either decide upon one side or the other or accept it as who you really are a transcending transgender. it seems like you feel uncomfortable with it. why not try to feel comfortable with it, what holds you back to find out? would it be bad to live for example meterosexuality or would it be bad to let the feeling of being a female come out and maybe even dress as one? maybe only from time to time? what are your fears? how would you be like if you where just yourself? whom are you taking the testosterone for? are you doing it to protect your femininity? vulnerability can also be protected by allowing yourself to be vulnerable and finding support in people who accept you the way you are. i don`t think there is a timeframe to find out about yourself. just maybe start the days with the feeling of being neutral, like a child and then see where it carries you.

doesn`t mean anything, a five year old is still a child, children are more asexual than grown ups, i didn`t even realize there was a difference until i went to school. could be that she just didn`t want to be judged upon that, because she was in denial of the difference, or wanted to be more like her dad if denial of sex means she was more boyish. of course i knew i was a girl and i supposed the way i felt was how girls feel, i knew i was more like my mom than like my dad, but i liked to play the male part in a story the same as playing the girls part if there where no boys around, (what was mostly the case as they often didn`t like roll plays) until i realized that the girlish girls where more popular and that somehow to be loved more i would have to discover what a girl could be like without giving up on myself, because i liked male attention. so i started to develope my female side more in being attentional to what femininity was to me. dressing up was a part of it some times more sometimes less. identification is something that grows over time, by listening to oneself.