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About paradiseengineering

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  1. This is so well summed up! Just wanted to say thanks for posting. Been diagnosed for 2 years myself and it hasnt been easy.
  2. I watched the video you posted. Is it a good idea to actually have weed in the house if you do it the mindfulness method?
  3. One of my favorite episodes was called something like "advice for creatives" or "advice for artists". Leo said stuff in the means of "slow down your pace of work, have a creative side project" etc. I would love to watch it again but i cant find it. Is it taken down or do anyone have a link?
  4. Hi! 28yo man here. I have had decent luck with dating before. Its either tinder, we meet randomly trough friends or the girl approaches. I have this fear of being threatening (im a really sweet dude tho), so if a girl approaches me, its easy to take the lead since I know she actually wants to talk with me. I have had this "attract not chase" attitude, and it gives average results. Would it be the best option to keep this attitude and just work on being more attractive and accomplish more? This seems like a win win. I have never done cold approach, but is it really necessary? Im a very empathetic dude and I dont want to make women uncomfortable.
  5. Hi Actualizers! I have a bit complicated relationship with weed. it is on and off, but I really love it and when I run out of it i usually feel depressed for a day or so. I just ran out of it and I will not get any more in this year. It always feel like a void for a day when i run out. I am replacing it with meditation and it helps a bit! I am an extrovert and crave social interaction but when high i can just sit by myself all day and make art and music. It puts me into a instant flow state. I can sit and make wonderful music for 12 hours and my head is buzzing with ideas. Being a musician is also part of my income and part of my life purpose and many of my favorite artists smoke. I get hooked on weed because it makes sitting alone and making music all day so much more enjoyable and I get way less distracted when smoking. I also dont feel lonely at all while smoking by myself, but I can easily feel loneliness if im not. Do you have any tips for how to get into this relaxed flow state all day without smoking and getting attached to weed? Thanks for reading
  6. My techno group sampled Leos voice from his Holism & Holistic thinking video (12:59)! Hope this is not off-topic and you actualizers might enjoy it <3
  7. Thank you so much for taking the time to write this! It helped me a lot.
  8. Hi Actualizers! So there is this girl I really like and she really like me too. We have been dating for 3 months and she just came back from a 2 week vacation. She came straight to my place after her vacation and we went really fast to the foreplay. She was really eager and I was too. I got a boner but once I took my pants off it went away. We was cuddeling naked for an hour but the boner was non-existent the whole time. We tried again this morning but I still couldnt get it up. It hasnt been a problem with her before and she is really stunning. I feel really sad now actually and I am a bit nervous to have sex with her again because I am afraid it will happen again. I really like this girl and want to give her as much pleasure and love as I can, and I wonder how I can overcome my fear and disapointment of erectile disfunction. Thanks for reading
  9. Hi there! Im a 26 year old male musician. I have had moderate success with my music, and I do small jobs for people like mixing their music, giving them lessons, making film music, playing shows etc. i earn money on this, but not enough yet to 100% live of. Where i get most of my money is from my rich dad who i never really have any contact with who pay my rent and workin in kidergarten. He has told me he will stop paying my rent this summer and I really wanna quit the kindergarten job and 100% focus on my passion since that job is sucking away all my energy and life force. So I wonder what is the best way to go about this? I really wanna give value to the world doing what I love and earn enough to live, but I also have to pay my rent and eat. What is a good strategy in this situation? Thanks for reading
  10. Hi there! I am trying my best every day to make it as a music producer/ artist. I feel like its hard to be completely satisfied with myself if I don´t have a big following and im not making a big impact on people with my music. At the peak of my following 2 years ago I had 12.000 monthly listeners on Spotify, now it is down to 3000. This bums me out and my recent music hasn´t been streaming so well. Using social media like Instagram is a big part of promoting myself, but always seeking validation is so draining and stresses me out. I just turned 26 and I feel my time is running out. Im working HARD but this is a field that depends on your creativity. The reason I make music is because its the most fun thing in the world and I want to give wonderful euphoric feelings to people trough it. Music has given me so much and I feel it is my duty to give back. I wonder if anyone can relate or have any advice on how I can make it doing what I love, without totally messing up my mental health? Thanks for reading
  11. The comedown (from after the peak) is my favorite part of mushrooms! Also the next day after a heavy trip i feel very zen and calm, but sometimes a bit sad, but in a weirdly beautiful way.
  12. I hope this is not completely off-topic, but just I had to share this! From 02:02 you can clearly hear Leo´s Live Enlightemnet Experience from 2018: At 02:58 you can hear the original sound from his video:
  13. Thanks for sharing your experience! This totally makes sense. If you are constantly craving it, there is some underlying discomfort you want to eleviate. Congrats to you of getting out of theese habbits that where not serving you! Im working to be able to completely surrender, in a time that can be quite boring (being an extrovert and a musician in covid times). I will most likely have a better relationship with it after this months break when i work some stuff out.
  14. Hi there Actualizers! I have been smoking pot for 7 years on and off. From the first time i tried it i freaking LOVED it! I am on a month break now and im craving it quite often. Before this I had a rule with a friend that I only can smoke max 3 times a week and only in the evening. This turned out that i ALWAYS smoked 3 times a week and quite a lot every time. I also found my mind looking forward to next time I could smoke. I wasn´t looking forward to the non-smoking days as much as the smoking days and it made me be less present (also seems to mess with my brain reward system to an extent). The ideal would be to be able to have weed available for special occations without smoking and feeling that I have to smoke it so often. To just be able to let go and not feel like i want it so bad. Is there any ex-stoners out there who was able to have a healthy relationship with the plant without having any strong rules for themself? If so how did you do it?
  15. Hi! I make music and it has started to give me an income. I care about expressing myself 100% and just make the best music i can. When my mother hears my lyrics she gets worried that they are about partying and drugs/ drinking. She calls me and says that I have a responsibility to not give off the wrong signals to my younger cusins. It makes me upset and I tell her I have to make what music i like and not overthink how everyone would interpret it. I really wanna be open with her that i sometimes do weed and psychedelics. She found out that i smoked 6 years ago and she got so scared that she stopped eating and sleeping for several days. It was a really painful process for me and her and It still gives me a bit of trauma. She is very religious and she is my only close family member. I feel I am living sort of a double life and it makes me uncomfortable talking to her. It hurts me for example that i cant tell her i DJed at a rave, because she would get extremely scared. I know radical honesty is the answer, but there is also a time and place to do it. I wonder if anybody can relate and have any advice, because this has been hurting me for many years. Thanks for reading