Snader

When you've spent your whole life being somebody and building your identity while thinking that's all there is, you can't just let it go, even let's say you have some peaks of the Truth. So subjectively it's not the idea of death that scares the shit out of you, but losing your ego, which is all you've got until you've expanded your sense of self.

It's hard to make boundary for an enlightenment experience. You were certainly more conscious and experiencing stuff from a higher plane but in the end it's up to you whether it was an enlightenment experience or not. Nobody can tell you for sure. Someone who's more experienced with different kind of ''enlightenment experiences'' can probably relate and say that your story sounds familiar, but with all the theory, literature, beliefs, prejudice and mythology around enlightenment makes it really hard to say from one's description. What you shared sounds really similar than an awakening experience I had some time ago on shrooms.

Experiencing those realms must be beneficial if the aim is to understand reality most holistically on the deepest levels possible, but it can also traumatize you quite badly and even scare you off the path of spiritual exploration, if you are not spiritually mature enough. If you have balls of steel, go for it. But if you are hesitant, its most likely the sign that you are not ready. There is no point rushing your way there. There are plenty of rainbows and butterflies on the other side that you can experience first while you are growing your spiritual dick

Fear of death? Yes. Death? I don't know.

You sure it's the surface? Most of them have aluminium layers below to make the heat spread evenly, but I've kinda assumed that there is no reason to mix the steel with other metals, especially if the pan is even slightly more pricey.

Death

what ? You mentioned in one of your previous posts that there are still something Stage Orange things for you to experience. So even if your higher self knows that Stage Orange materialism won't bring you the ultimate happiness, your lower self don't accept that and it will fight for you to experience that stuff. That stuff might operate in your psyche to create those backlashes, so working those out might also be a game changer. advise on this ? I find meditation to be a stone-pillar to learning to become aware of one's sincere emotions, which helps one to get to understand himself better. Spending time in nature alone breathing deep and listening to the wild life worked for me really well. Then there are of course books, courses and even personality tests that might come in handy. There are experts such as therapists and coaches (more conventional and more spiritual) who can help you. When you get that wheel rolling you will find solutions and next steps. how ? By learning psychology, especially your own. Reading books about emotions and human behavior. Understanding more nuances of human development models such as Spiral Dynamics and Cook-Greuter's model (which Actualized.org has shot videos on) help great deal understanding own behavior and motives and also in making right decisions to make life better. this for sure Understanding human development combined with self-understanding and awareness is a killer with this! It helps you to as an example connect and socialize when you become too close to a backlash, but also to withdraw when the toxicity is making you puke, and all that with a straight back with no hard feelings, with understanding of what's needed for balance.

Fear

I've noticed the same when I drink coffee late, it helps me fall asleep. It's weird because Caffeine should block your brains receiving Adenosine, which is the compound that creates the urge to go to sleep. Anyway some coffees have some additional stuff in them that might make you more relaxed and ready for bed, such as Theanine. In that regard maybe if you wake up early enough and have some Theanine coffee late that day, you've received enough Adenosine to fall asleep and the Theanine just boosts the process.

I've experienced it. It sounds like a story before you directly experience it.

Are you sure you have burned all the material karma? To me it used to cause a lot of suffering when I wasn't honest about it. I wasn't because I thought there is no way to do both; raise consciousness while having material pursuits, so I decided to say NO to all that's about materialism. But the balance there is possible and they can be integrated, but you just need right kind of relationship with it. You need to start seeing its healthy agenda in your life. You don't do it out of selfish and material reasons but out of understanding and balance. Also while you push towards your life purpose, push hard to understanding your own personality. Even though you might want to transcend it, it's still necessary to understand it first, if you want to be functional in life. If you want to move to Himalayas to meditate 24/7 for the rest of your life, then it's not necessary. Maybe you are better off alone and you are not so social, and it's only culture and social conditioning that makes you feel bad about it? Or maybe you are more of a social creature and feel bad that you lack the skills to make friends and be social? Or maybe it's your higher self that wants to keep you away from ''shallow'' relationships and ''shallow'' conversations, which all your socialization have been about so far?

@Someone here You have wanted to experience life from every different perspective. It's like a game you started playing but forgot that you are playing or that you even started the game by your own will. In the game you live life from that one perspective instead of the neighbor's cat's, but you can become conscious that it's just a game and that you actually are all the perspectives simultaneously, not only the one you think in the game you are playing. That's the point of awakening.

Reminds me of the scene from Inception where Mal jumped out the window while Dom tried to convince her not to Well she didn't directly know that death isn't real but she knew -- or thought -- that the life she was living is a dream so she could wake up to real life after her ''death''. She should've never smoked Salvia

Haha I remember when Joker came out to theaters we bought tickets with my friend to the premiere next Friday. Unfortunately I had forgotten that I had scheduled and planned a shroom trip for the next Saturday a long time ago. I couldn't really cancel neither of those so I went to see the movie with a stone heart keeping myself emotionally as detached as possible because I didn't want to stimulate myself emotionally prior the trip. It was sooo stupid like there was no point being there. I kept myself really well detached and just kept analyzing the movie and seeing through all the acting. I kept scanning the content but didn't immerse with all the emotional stuff presented there. I sensed all the potential emotional stimulus I could've enjoyed with the rest of the people watching the movie so it was like torture lol. I guess not resisting the emotions and fully jumping into the experience the movie had to offer would've been less emotional stimulus than all the frustration and cynicism I went through while playing that stupid game with myself... Well, anyway the Joker didn't jump into my next day trip so I guess it was a successful experimentation after all lol.

All righty then stainless steel it is. Thank you all!

I can definitely conform everything Leo said there. I went (and am still going) through that phase. First it will be hard but it will get easier when you start understanding the process. Understanding human development and ego backlash is a powerful tool. Leo has videos on both of those and many others that will help you with the process. You of course need to be smart about it. Try to come up with even a slight vision for how your life is going to morph in the next 10 years to make you be able to slowly move into the spiritual way of life -- if that's what you want.

Yeah. The feminine you express will only cripple you when the masculine isn't there to have your back. I went through that phase and I can say it was really frustrating but also rewarding in the long run.

And from what I've experienced it becomes much easier with the combination of self-awareness that comes through personal development work and confidence that comes through first becoming fully in touch and experienced with your masculine.

Yeah, politics and economics are difficult and for sure there are lots of stuff that should be changed to make the system more fair and equally functional. Best you can do to change the system for the better is to raise your own consciousness and understanding to really see the complexity in the system with all it's sub-systems, and that way start making wise decisions to enhance the system, e.g. voting for the best politicians in that regard. Think about all the good stuff government has provided you with. All the corruption and misuse of resources are the cost for that and it's a good start to be aware that those costs exist, as they can be minimized through consciousness.

And also try not to beat the shit out of the guy who accidentally jumps at you when it's crowded

Yes, when it comes to embodying the extremes of the deepest teachings of Actualized.org. But man you don't have to be a monk to endorse some of that stuff or the wisdom behind it.

I love coffee but had to quit my daily habit because of the addictiveness. I can't stand it that coffee controls (even a bit) how I feel or how I interact with others. Of course coffee boosts my mood and makes me more effective for some time but to me it feels like cheating, not to mention the caffeine crash I pay for that momentary high. To me getting over the addiction I've kind of needed to "change my ID" to more healthy person to replace the cup with a bottle of healthy smootie

Unless you understand human development and are smart about how you go with it -- which of course is extremely rare today.

If you want to do long term investment without big risk and effort and make it more ethical, go for index funds. I think most of the popular investing services have an option to search for funds that invest into more green markets. I've done some investing into low CO2 risk markets in North America and Europe through index funds and some of those have gone up like 200% in 10 years and relatively even more in the past few years. I think investing with green values especially into markets of some stable 1st world democratic countries now will make it worth your while when you take a look at those funds 10-20 years from now

Yeah, it could be that she's going through some stressful times right now, but what I've experienced (when dealing with a feminine girl); as a man you have the power to make her stress disappear and pump her mood up so that she gets out of her stressful head. If she's more masculine, then it's not so easy. Before I had any sense of myself or what I want out of life I used to be in a functional ''normal'' long-term relationship. Soon my uncertainty, complacency and lack of purpose started triggering my gf and eventually it made her take that masculine responsibility in our relationship that I was lacking. Soon that started poisoning our life including sex life, so we decided to break up. Of course I wasn't conscious and educated enough of these things back then. If I were I could've been able to work on myself and change the course. If I were you I would still observe myself some more. Some women are really good at seeing through fake manhood while expecting a lot from her man. From a man even a small hesitation towards his purpose can make a strong woman skin him alive.