PepperBlossoms

@Pudgey Thanks for the responses. What was that like? What did y'all talk about? What did you see? Was that telepathic? I guess yes I can see that one could go beyond their body and experience some infinity but I just have a hard time thinking that I am God because I just don't understand how all of this works and don't remember anything before I was a human or have any memory of creating this universe and I can't just go to universal God mode on command and I don't know how, if I was God, I could be able to get myself to forget how I did things. I guess also, if everything was just random, why do I still feel things like shame, sad, happy, etc.? If I was god and was everything, why would I have any feelings at all? Why wouldn't it just be robotic? But then why do I still get feelings? I feel like in order to have feelings, which I do feel, we have to have duality, and part of duality is love and evil, part of it is separation between self and God. If God made itself as love, it had to have a duality hence Satan, to be evil. Hence if God's place is a loving place, it had to have another hateful place, hence Hell. I guess also, in order for there to be real stuff, there also has to be fake/imagined stuff. We can't say everything is imagined and we can't say everything is real. Likewise, In order to have something phenomenona, you have to also have nothing phenomenona, and those also take up their own arenas. There's definitely a duality between the finite experience and the infinite experience. IDK just more stuff to think about. I guess I was just thinking now how non-duality or universal consciousness is often thought as infinite love but in order to have infinite love, you also have to have infinite evil too??? And in order for something to be infinite, there also has to be finite aspects... So like, it is a mistake to think that evil does not exist... @hyruga Nice points.

@Pudgey Okay so lets say I throw away good/evil. Why would my friend's mom have woken up with her religious document that she placed under her pillow, I think a prayer card, torn to shreds? Makes no sense. Or maybe it could have been any document and it would have been torn to shreds? Just weird. Why do exorcisms work? Exorcisms should absolutely not work if religion is bullshit. I haven't taken enough substances or high enough doses to experience those spirit realms in that way. I guess I see another thing. Like, without the potential of turning into a ghost or going to hell, suicide is so much more enticing to the suicidal person. I guess I see religion as a strong barrier to suicide and a strong promoter of love (if one uses it that way). I guess I just want to know why everyone is so keen on rejecting the exploration of religious ideas. Like why is it that we can explore say what a potato tastes like but exploring religious ideas is just absolutely off the table? Like there is something weird about that too. I guess I don't get why preternatural stuff plays games with us. Why is that? Is it just bored or what? What's its purpose? I guess I have had DMT but it was such a small amount. I saw geometric shapes and it was all 3D. I didn't see any entities.

I guess I am remembering this time someone told me how their mom put this prayer thing under her pillow at a hotel and she woke up the next morning to find it completely torn up. Stuff like that makes me wonder again, why would spirits target religious objects? How do you answer that?

I feel like I need more structure though. Like, I feel too lost saying 'everything is my mind'.

@Leo Gura okay. I guess that is very true. Everything that I am experiencing is happening in my head, hence 'it's all in my head'. I guess I just like to think that not everything is in my head. Like I like to think that say my brothers actually exist and aren't just in my head. I guess my head is in my head too. I guess it's just hard though because yeah one could think that, but what if there really is other stuff outside of my head happening and my head is interpreting that? How am I to know that that is not the case? How am I to know that this table really does exist? Why would I want to accept that it's all mind? How am I to know that there really isn't other people or there really isn't some other God? How am I to know? How am I to know that the ghost was just in my head? If it's all in my mind, then why can't I change my environment with my mind? Why do I have to physically change it with my hands?

@Leo Gura lol yeah. If I buy into the experience, I may take it more seriously and have more passion for it, and that can be great and times and horrible at times. Or I could say this is not real, but then the entire time, I may be saying, this is not real, this is not real, this is not real and I am just rejecting everything. Do you find it hard to have to constantly reject what you see? If I buy into the experience, being that people are within that too, if I buy into the idea that we are separate and not one, I may take them more seriously and it could also be great and horrible at times. If I say they are me, if I don't value myself, I may say, oh well they are just me and I don't care about myself so I don't care about them either. Do you find it hard to connect with others if you are constantly assuming they are just your imagination? I guess for one to experience love, they must also know evil. For one to experience connection, they must also know a lack of. And if there is 'everything is imagined, everything is made up', then love and evil no longer exists. But it is still sad that love doesn't exist. But then why is that sad? Does it make you sad that your paradigm doesn't have love and evil aside from imagining it?

I feel like even if it is wrong, I need the religious one because I want to have someone else there with me. And someone that helps me learn how to love. Like I want that connection. Otherwise with no connection, it just feels so empty.

@Leo Gura If I am constructing this reality, why is it that I just asked a pizza to arrive on the floor and nothing happened? Why is it that I have no idea what is going to happen tomorrow on in 1 minute from now? Or like............. how do I actually know I am constructing it and is it possible to stop constructing it? How do I get out of reality then? Like is there an exit door to this place? Can I just turn the game off or start a different one?

@Leo Gura What part about the human games that I am playing is terrifying? What do you mean by 'playing human games'? Just like convincing myself I am a human is a scary thought in terms of - why do I keep convincing myself I am human? I guess I feel like if I had some sort of demonic thing in my house, it would be hard to think of it as good ha. I guess especially if it was trying to hurt me.. but I guess I hurt things too so I am just as bad? But I guess there are spiders and cockroaches and I don't see those as good or bad.

@Gesundheit2 I am watching it. My reaction was: We don't even know what's not true so we may not ever know what is. But Abrahamic religions sure do throw in a pretty big threat. Like the comparison of, if you had 99 well-behaved kids and 1 psychopath, you'd want to pay attention to the psychopath or else you'd think, everything is okay here, and then the psychopath goes and kills the other kids. So then, even though like Hell/demons/Satan are something I don't want to think about, if they are the 1 psychopath, and I choose to ignore them... it's really hard to say what the 'right' thing to do is. @StarStruck Thanks. This reminds me of some various non-duality/you are god experiences I have had where one has various levels of consciousness.

@Gesundheit2 I get told that I overthink all the time. I think I've heard that like 3 times just this week, ha. I think it depends on how much the other person thinks relative to me. But the answers are yes and yes.

@Leo Gura Okay so if I get a thought in my head to push someone off a cliff or strangle someone's neck just because I feel like it or thought it up, that's Good.. I guess I am just open to the possibility that a demon could have inspired that. I guess it could just be the universe doing random things and not necessarily thinking about the consequences and loving everything so much it is willing to do that stuff. I get the paradigm of, the only stuff that exists is what I am directly seeing in this exact visual view, directly hearing, directly touching. I have experienced that one. That there is nothing behind me, that I see these hands and legs and no face. That there was no past or future. That if I close my eyes, I see that the 3D visual world no longer exists and if I have no more ears, the 3D sound world no longer exists and if I take away the other senses, the world is gone.. but I still have a brain and it can still dream stuff up. I get that one. It's super terrifying. I guess I don't want to live in that one. I don't want it to be that I am all alone, or that I don't even exist and I am imagining myself. I want y'all to exist. I want this chair or that potato to exist. So sure maybe I am god wanting all of this to exist and I want to exist and I as god don't even understand myself. But also, if I am god, I don't feel like I have any knowledge for how I created all of this in the first place? How could I have imagined stuff that I don't have any memory of? How could I have imagined the say antibiotics or France or ghosts? How can I be imagining stuff so quickly without any prior knowledge? How can I be imagining an entire movie or book on the spot? How can I be imagining you and your response without any memory of doing it myself? @Gesundheit2 Ha. Yeah I struggle with that too and that was another reason I had a hate for Christianity and had left it in the past. But one could also say, you will only find the absolute truth in the paradigm of everything is imagined too.

@PeaceOut96 I guess it is really hard to say what is and is not imaginary. It is hard to say if good/evil are imaginary or if they are legit. It is hard to say xyz is real and abc is not. I guess that is why whatever we believe in, whether A or B, it is going to be a belief. I had thought evil was just relative to whatever hurt me. Yes. But with religion, evil is different. That topic of evil is hard for me. Like I had thought, oh killing animals and trees is evil. But in the religious paradigm, its not evil. So that is still confusing for me. I think in the religious paradigm, it is partly, 'we are not of this world' and therefore, stuff like animals and trees may belong to this world and it could be we don't and so it is not necessarily evil to kill things of this world. Whereas in the non-dual paradigm, 'we are of this world and this world only' and so everything that hurts stuff for this world is evil. Or one could say in the non-dual paradigm divisions are made up and so evil is a made up concept. I feel like its also tough because the non-dual paradigm makes it where one is more likely to hate stuff that is bad whereas the religious paradigm may be more open to loving bad stuff... I guess this also makes survival tricky. It is hard to survive when you can't eat meat or kill trees or kill anything really and so it is super hard to exist and have a job in the non-dual paradigm because, oh look my job cuts down trees! Or oh look my job saves humans who kill the planet! I can't support humans because I am killing stuff. Whereas in the religious paradigm, it is okay to do those things and so having a job is much easier.

@Pudgey What if the fear is legit though because they are aware of what is actually happening whereas for the others that don't believe, yes they have no fear, but they also are blind to what is going on? Why would entities want to play games with me to trick me from realizing I am god? So you are saying the demons want you to think you are separate and the loving entities want you to think you are one being with God... but still sounds like a combination of non-duality and Christianity then... but I guess the difference is whether God is oneness or God is a separate thing and what God really is. I guess I could see that. I feel like reality is a fight between oneness and separation and there is conflict there. Wow having dominance over an entity... that's crazy. I guess the book I was reading was saying, doing stuff like psychedelics, ouija boards, astral projection, witchcraft, etc. could allow evil entities in... and those entities could trick you. So it is hard to say what really is evil and what is not... and one just has to go with what they want. I guess another one is that my friend's friend's mom died and she visited her after her death and said, 'I gotta go, I have a bunch of work to do in Heaven' and so that is another example and well why would she say that? But I guess one could say that that too was a hallucination. ....

@Leo GuraBut how do you know you are awakened? What if you've imagined that stuff is imagined but it's not? @StarStruck True. I guess another one is, well, how do you explain someone having died and then come back to life for awhile and then people seeing them resurrect? And how do you explain that evil spirits are reported to have a negative reaction to religious things? You would think that evil spirits would have ZERO reaction to religious things if religion was fake and that it would have no power over them. How do you know that most of you on this forum aren't being invaded by evil spirits right now which is causing doubt that this is a possibility and they don't want you to think that way because they don't want you to believe because that is how they operate? Okay, I could say that someone coming back to life was witchcraft or that seeing someone being resurrected was a massive group hallucination. But then what, the priest and the people experiencing the evil spirits are hallucinating the entire time? I guess my thinking was like, if evil exists, love exists too and love exists via God and evil exists via Satan. I guess another one, why would people report being able to see angels and why would angels bother wanting to do good things and why would people report being able to see demonic things and why would people report them doing bad things? It could be that people who do evil things aren't necessarily low conscious or selfish but rather have demons leading the way. This could be possible and shouldn't be discarded as not if one was wanting to be studious and check out every possibility for reality possible. Another one is, do you find that you have hate and doubt inside for religious people and if so, could that be demons inspiring that hate? I guess for me, I was wanting to check out every possible paradigm for reality and was even writing a book and reading books about different paradigms and I was acting like each one at the time was absolutely true in order to do that and that is also how I got here... whereas if I would have explored this like it was fake the entire time, I wouldn't have gotten here at all.

@How to be wise I guess there is the possibility that this universe exists forever but also the possibility that it did have a beginning and could have an end. Both are possible... I guess it could be he's super far away from enlightenment, or it could be he's not and he's accurate. It's like two sides of the coin and you just pick one to be on.

@Leo Gura How do you KNOW this with zero doubt? If the future is imaginary, how is it that psychic/premonition stuff happens?

Sure. Yes.

With their mouth/words. But yeah I am not them so I can't verify it nor can I verify that you exist or I exist or any of this is happening or if everything is fake and this whole reality is nothing. It's just that believing that reality is imagined wasn't working when I was super sad and felt like I had no reason to live. Believing that there IS LOVE was more helpful. But I am still kinda feeling like, well even if there is a Heaven or Hell, what is the point of that? But I would have to wait till I die to find out.

I guess either one believes or doesn't. Could take literally any proof and say it's not good enough. IDK I guess I was having a hard time existing, like talking to all these suicidal people, and it just made my life easier... I guess the threat of being a ghost was big for staying alive.

I guess what about though, the people that die and go to Heaven or Hell and then come back because they are brought back to life? How does one explain that?? That they imagined it?

I see your info at the bottom now - "I'm a Mormon" haha. I have some friends that are Mormons too and then there's all the other ones like Jehovah's Witness, Christian, Lutheran, Non-Duality, Atheist, a whole pile of everything! That's a good point on the waiting on the sex part. Maybe I should have done that! I guess I don't want to pick any one group yet and am still reading the bible. I had broken up with my boyfriend and I was getting 0 hours of sleep, wanted to jump off a bridge, refused to eat anything, was super desperate for attention and like spamming people with messages, couldn't stop crying or get off the floor, and then I started reading the bible and fell asleep immediately and then told myself to live for god and do whatever he wants me to do and not live for guys and that helped so much and I feel like I've been seeing love everywhere now all of a sudden! I used to be super negative and complained and criticized everything and now I am seeing love and I feel like my brain literally changed! It is super crazy. It feels like a mind-fuck right now. I never thought the Jesus paradigm would be real! I was convinced it was fake and everyone was stupid and brainwashed. It feels like this world is psychedelic. I am so used to exploring non-duality though that I've been going back and forth at times. I feel like they never talked about demons in school and I thought Atheists were the smart people and now everything is upside down and I am like whatttttt.

Why did you pick Mormonism specifically? I started reading the bible and I used to think it was filled with hate and now I am seeing it has so much wisdom in terms of do this, not that.

@Tyler Robinson I just watched The Exorcist about a week ago too! I want to watch the Exorcist of Emily Rose now but I don't wanna do it alone. The book I read was called The Dark Sacrament. Um I was talking to someone on another forum and they lived in an extremely haunted house and they said that every single video on Ghost Adventures, in their opinion, is real.

I guess I've just had a friend who's boyfriend had gotten possessed and he also has a spirit in his apartment throwing things around and a bunch of other supernatural stuff and... I was reading a book and the only way they could get rid of the evil spirits was using a priest to do an exorcism and it was successful at times and it made sense to me that that paradigm could be real because why else do exorcists exist and why else would the evil demons react negatively to religious prayers and objects??? But yeah one could say its all imagination, especially if they've never lived in a haunted house before and never had the sound of footsteps or little kids laughing all the time that were not there as humans or never had things thrown around that was not done by any person or never had their dead family member visit them after death. But I've also felt a presence when I was at my work and it was very cold and felt evil... and I think this other thing I saw, an older lady, was a ghost and not a hallucination. I guess that is what got me there. Before, I thought the Jesus paradigm was made up.