jimwell

You made me smile. You are not alone. You currently have Stage Green values, which is good. But your beautiful values and intention will remain in your head and heart; will not manifest in this world if you don't develop and integrate Stage Orange. Watch the video above at least once a year until you turn 20 and really embody the values described in the video. Paradoxically, it is changing yourself that you change the world. Remember the cliche "You can't give what you don't have." I hope you will become like this Japanese girl in the video who I admire for her internal beauty (though she also has external beauty). Kawaguchi Kana She is able to manifest her Stage Green values because she embodies some Stage Orange values. It's impressive for a Japanese.

I feel your suffering. You probably feel you are the only human on Earth who is unloved, unfairly treated, suffering alone, and nobody can understand you (it's true in a sense), but on a structural level, we have the same suffering. The same in intensity, weirdness, and aloneness. On the outside, I look like I'm a big winner. But the truth is I still have my own shit despite tremendous inner work success. Your anger towards God is valid. Keep hating God. After all, who responsible for all this shit? Don't let anybody gaslight you. But at the same time, don't let that hate drowns you in hopelessness and failure. You must do what needs to be done. Stand up for yourself and go where you need to go. Majority of the work is done on the inside. Build that strong self-love and love for beauty. Those will be your fuel when things become very unbearable. It's also important to have a good vison of the future situation you want to be in. This will be an additional fuel to keep you motivated. I have seen a few of your posts so I have a good idea of your inner world. And this is my response to your posts. I'm not just talking. I have already walked the talk. And I will walk the remaining things which need to be walked. After all the walk and talk, maybe and hopefully our view of God and life will change for the better.

@justfortoday You have revealed your deepest insights. SO, how are you going to live your life from now on? How are you going to integrate those insights with your daily life?

Are you serious or just being metaphorical? ? You made me confused.

In retrospect, I had my first awakening when I was 7. I was sitting on my folding bed, looking at the painful wound on my knee. A thought popped out of nowhere "What if this is not real? What if this painful wound is an illusion?" Then my sense of reality changed. I suddenly experienced existence as a dream. I felt I was in a dream. Then more insights flooded my mind. "I am actually in a dream. I have always thought this world is real. But everybody and everything knows this is an illusion. Even this folding bed knows it is inside a dream. The biggest culprits of all are my parents. They have pretended all along they are real, and my experiences are real. My parents exist to fool myself into thinking I and my experiences are real, when this is all an illusion. I am in a dream." Then I felt tremendous horror. Then I thought to myself "Why am I having these thoughts? And why do I feel I am in a dream? Am I crazy? But I was not crazy yesterday?" The feeling of having gone crazy intensified the horror I felt, then my mind went blank. I was traumatized by that experience, I buried it in my soul for almost 30 years. I dug deep into my childhood in my entire twenties to understand why I had severe anxiety and depression, and completely broken. I had uncovered all or almost all "traumatic" memories except the "I am in a dream" memory. I recovered this memory only last year (2020) or early this year. I am sure it was triggered by Leo's claim that "Everything is imaginary". I was a normal kid. I liked toys and played with other kids. I was even an "alpha" kid. I dominated and bullied other kids my age ?. But there was something different about me. I was extremely curious about everything, especially nature. I was always wowed by trees and grasses. Every time I went out with my older cousins to hunt birds in the forest, I felt I was in paradise. I remember one time, I was playing with the other kids in a field and found a beautiful greenish brown grasshopper. I was very fascinated by it, I stared at it the entire afternoon. All the other kids left me because it was already dark, after spending many hours in the field. But I remained there, deriving tremendous pleasure staring at the grasshopper. I am now amused by that "I am in a dream" childhood experience, especially that many deeply spiritual humans claim that existence is a dream, not real. I feel it in my soul as an intuition that I really am in a dream. But somehow, I can't accept it to be true. I still have doubts about it. I am open to the possibility that I am just deceiving myself. If I experience that "I am in a dream" childhood experience again, maybe or probably I will finally take it as truth.

I am familiar with that area. From what I've seen, it's an interesting, beautiful place. You were lucky to be there. Sounds exciting. ? So, South Korea is really similar to Japan. Initially, I couldn't find deodorant in Japan and was frustrated. But I eventually found a "body spray" type of deodorant. I've been using that type since then. Thanks for the useful answers ?. I'm from a city in central Japan where Toyota Motor Corporation originates. But I'm originally from a 3rd world country somewhere in Asia. The last song was slightly soothing without understanding the lyrics. But I liked its melody. You listened to it 15 times? ?

This is true. But it is also true that kids are more emotionally vulnerable and defenseless than adults. A 30-year-old man generally handles mental-emotional crisis better than a 7-year-old boy.

My pleasure. Thanks for confirming South Korea is just like Japan. Both are conservative and collectivist. Are you in Seoul or Gyeonggi-do? The last song has good melody but I couldn't understand because there were no English subtitles. I hope you don't mind me asking a few questions. Where did you live in South Korea? Did you teach English there? What were the things you enjoyed and disliked?

Escape from your family or your country? If it's family, it is easier compared to country. Get a wage slave job (8-9) for a year or two and save as much as possible (while living with the family). When you have saved enough, escape your family by renting a cheap but comfortable apartment. Then keep saving. If you want to escape your fucked up 3rd world country, it is much more difficult because other countries (especially 1st world) are very defensive of their borders. They have created many border rules, justifying such rules as fair, moral, and humanitarian. But I know it's all a masquerade. Every rule from the Immigration Bureau is about them ensuring their benefit. It's all selfishness. They will only allow a foreigner to enter their country if the foreigner benefits them. How can a first word country benefit from a foreigner? By ensuring the foreigner do wage slave job (which most natives don't want to do), pay taxes (government income), being a national asset (popular sportsman, musician, or researcher), being a big-time investor (you give the country much money). The only more compassionate immigration rule is taking in refugees. But it is not because they (1st world countries) really are compassionate towards refugees. It is because the UN enforces such rule, forcing 1st world countries to cooperate for the benefit of their external image to the world. But that's how it is. And there's nothing you can do about it. But here are a few things you can do which will give you a good chance of escaping your fucked up country. 1. Get a wage slave visa This needs certifications or qualifications (vocation or BS degree). If you already have one, it's easier. Go to the nearest embassy of the 1st world country you want to move to. They will give you a list of requirements you need to provide. If you don't have any. You can choose to get vocational training (for example welding, farming, fishing, etc.) which is in demand in 1st world countries. After that, go to the ambassy. This path can take 2 to 4 years. 2. Get a spouse visa This is exciting but also risky. You can go to tourist spots where "1st world" women (if you are a straight man) go to for vacation. You can do pick up, establish a good relationship for a year, and then marry them. You can also work a s tour guide and start from there. Another noble way is to work as an English teacher (hope your English is good) and teach Japanese, Korean, European female ESL learners. This is also a good way to even enhance your English and socialization skills. teaching English is as much interaction and customer service as teaching. If your spoken and written English are not good, you can choose to take training. The risk of this type of visa is if you get divorced, your spouse visa becomes invalid and you will be forced to get another visa, otherwise you will be forced to go back to your home country or get deported. 3. Be a refugee. If you live in Myanmar, Palestine, and other war torn or fucked up countries, you have a good chance of getting a refugee visa. The same thing, go to the ambassy and they will guide you on what to do. I think Europe and the US are more welcoming of refugees than South Korea or Japan. Japan should be the least in your list. It's a very racist country in this domain. But if you want to be detained until you get murdered, go to Japan and be a refugee. 4. Digital nomad visa This is complex but I'll simplify it. You work as a freelancer or a full-time employee for a company located anywhere in the world. But you need ot work remotely or "from home". Earn much money then go to the embassy, prove to them that your monthly earning is high then apply for a digital nomad visa. They demand your monthly income is high so when you arrive in the 1st world country, you have the money to pay for your rent, food, and taxes. Forget other visas such as investor, short-term tourist, visiting relatives (if you have one then try this), national treasure, etc. Almost all 3rd world country people can't get them, especially investor visa. I have given you a good idea. Now, go to the website of the embassy (google it) and obtain more information.

I watched until one of the musicians had an emotional breakdown and cried like a baby. I felt deep emotions because the topic of this song is very "deep", normal humans don't think about it. If they do, it is short-lived because they can't handle it. The melody of the song is also beautiful. So, it's a powerful song, surely better than all or almost all popular songs. The core concept of the song is whether life is predetermined or not (we create our life via free will). Based on my realizations (I am sure about this), both are true. You are just playing the role which God has given to you. But it's also true that you are free to choose paths or to create your life however you want. The only question is "Which is the bigger truth?". And the answer is the below quote. You got me with the Hangul (korean letters). At this point of my life, I am most interested in South Korea. This is mostly intuition. But I am also aware of my selfish (but also spiritual) reasons why I want to go there.

I just did my spiriutal walk. It refreshed my soul just like before. I also had that realization a few years ago that the present is all which exists. But I was not horrified by it. I think another reason why it was horrifying to you was your age (13). During my spiritual walk, I realized a major reason why I was completely horrified by my "I am in a dream" awakening was my age. I was only 7 when I experienced I was in a dream, alone, and everything and everybody are pretending to be real. That was Solipsism which horrifies most adults in this forum. Yet I experienced it when I was only 7. If I had experienced it now as an adult, I wouldn't have had the same reaction. So timing is very important, just like everything else in life. I don't know what exactly spiritual awakening is. When I realized death is unavoidable, and that it renders life empty and pointless, my soul was crushed. Things have never been the same since then. So, was it a spiritual awakening? Who defines what a spiritual awakening is? And when I realized that everything is predetermined, that is, your own thoughts and actions are not yours, but are the Source's or God's, that in the end, you are just playing the role God has given you, I was completely horrified. Because it means you are at God's mercy. And if you look at the amount of suffering and horror in the world, it is clear that God has no problem inflicting suffering on its creatures. Things have never been the same since then. Was it also a spiritual awakening?

I take my spiritual walks in cities, suburbs, countryside, and mountains (where I am the only human walking or sitting there). It is a spiritual walk as long as there are significant number of trees or grasses, and few humans. This sounds like what Sadhguru explained about what happened in his awakening when he was 15. But he gave the impression that it was a very powerful experience. From time to time, I decide to stop walking and just sit in nature. After sitting there for a while (in complete seclusion), I lose sense of my body, only my awareness remains. This doesn't happen every time, just from time to time. I am not sure whether this is a spiritual awakening. It doesn't feel as powerful and as reality-shattering as the "I am in a dream" awakening. I need to log out so I can take my spiritual walk for today ?.

I am not sure whether what you realized was a spiritual awakening. Why do you think so? And why were you horrified by it? This is unfortunately true. It's strange for a kid to be fascinated by space ?. But that is nonetheless interesting. I am curious about the clue. Could you explain what that is? This. -No separation. No partitions. When I am in paradise (I still experience this as an adult), I am aware of the boundaries between me and the trees, cicadas, flowers, grasses, etc. But I feel I am ONE with them or mystically connected to them. This mystical feeling arises instantaneously. No need to meditate first. It is a beautiful, spiritual feeling. I wonder whether there is a term for it in spirituality. Here's one of my spiritual walks in winter (I also take my spiritual walks in spring, summer, and autumn). I recommend you watch it at 720p or 1080p. https://1drv.ms/v/s!ArRczozlKBxyugRZxooKIxB1Kkw5

@cetus Yes, that's sensible. Thanks for the reminder.

@cetus It is both a thought and an insight. But I see your point.

I never thought there was more to Mark Twain than being an atheist. I'll read more of his books in the future.

I don't think it is correct to label "Jumping from the bridge to end your human existence and awaken from the imaginary dream of life" as stupid. If doing that really awakens you and be with God, it means it is valid. Sadhguru even recommended to his followers to go to a forest, and sit under a tree until they die of hunger as an alternative to MahaSamadhi. He knows most of his followers can't attain MahaSamadhi, so he recommended the alternative as a valid way to awaken from the dream. He did not encourage it. But at least he recommended it (as something valid) if his followers really want to have the "ultimate awakening". The claim everything in the material world (children, wife, friends, Leo, etc.) is imaginary also solidifies suicide as valid. The only mistake Sunny committed was he did it not because he was conscious or experienced it to be true, but he just believed it to be true. He might had suffered in a serious but hidden way. And the claim death is awakening from the imaginary dream world and union with God or Infinite Love sounds very beautiful, he was tempted to jump from the bridge as a form of spiritual bypassing. Suppose these crazy but beautiful claims are true, and murdering yourself (suicide) takes you there. I don't think that is the way to go. It is valid (not stupid), but not the best. That is what needs to be clarified. And that is what should Leo have clarified 2 or 3 years ago. I just saw his most recent video. And finally, he clarified it is best NOT TO SKIP LIFE via suicide because life is supposed to be mastered and enjoyed. That mastery and enjoyment of life despite its difficulties and challenges is a serious form of spirituality. This form of clarification is a better safeguard than disclaimers because clarifications in the videos are more impactful. I think Leo also needs to clarify whether he is still pursuing his ultimate purpose which is Liberation (the one he posted on his blog in 2019). If he is still going at it, he needs to clarify what exactly it means. Does it mean to be like Jesus? As in going out there, teaching and selflessly helping people, curing them from diseases, and feeding the hungry? Or does it mean being liberated but just continuing teaching on YouTube (which is what he has been doing)? I also notice Leo responds to posts with low to average quality as long as he perceives doing so is safe. And he doesn't respond to high quality posts if he perceives doing so is threatening. This behavior is repulsive. @Scholar's posts surely have some "substance" which are worth pondering. But Leo rarely replies to them (if he even does). It seems Leo is threatened by people who have intelligence and wisdom, but don't kiss his ass. This is a big weakness (and repulsive). I hope @Leo Gura will embody strength, bravery, integrity, and compassion in the future.

My pleasure. I just did what I needed to do.

@Muhammad Jawad Thanks for letting us know about his death. I hope death is heaven for him. How do you feel by the way? If you really are very close to him, you must be feeling very dark and heavy (serious depression). Especially if you are already experiencing other existential and spiritual crisis. I recommend to "consciously" grieve. Feel that dark, heavy "hole" located inside your chest or stomach. Don't repress it by working too much, drinking coffee, getting high on drugs, etc. to forget it all. If you do so, there's a big chance it will murder your body. I know this via intuition and observation. I have heard of these stories a few times. But I can cite an example of a former colleague who lost his sister to dengue. He said he experienced too much pain, he repressed it by always working and drinking coffee. After about a week, he suddenly collapsed and experienced NDE. According to him, he lost control or sense of his entire body and he knew he was going to die. He started to cry then suddenly saw flashes of memories (from childhood to the point of collapsing). He cried even more and got completely horrified of his impending death. But a miracle happened, he survived. If the pain located inside your chest or stomach becomes too intense and unbearable, touch your chest or stomach then massage it in a circular motion. Deeply feel the pain then have the intention of easing it via the circular massage. You can adjust the circumference of the circular motion depending on the size of the pain located inside your chest or stomach. It magically works and eases the pain. That is at least true to me. It might also be true to you. So, try it. But the pain comes and goes and intensifies from to time. Endure the grieving process until you feel better. It is important to endure the pain and not give up on life even if you feel like it. It's also important to refresh your soul and do something you love. For me, taking long walks in nature while contemplating about life and admiring the beauty I see always refreshes my soul. I also feel my connection to the Source during these long walks. Doing that might also help you. In the end, you are alone in your spiritual journey. You can ask others for answers but they will never be satisfying. You will only be satisfied when you derive the answers yourself. Be self-responsible and self-reliant.

You are wrestling with yourself. And you are gaslighting yourself, me, and others here. Stop it. Don't waste our time, especially in this time of grieving and suffering.

Your analysis is off. You can be compassionate by being direct and blunt. But being arrogant and a bully is not being compassionate. Your coach bullied you, and now you are bullying others. You are just a typical bully (but self-deceived). Show some respect to Sunny and his family. Contemplate and be careful before opening your mouth.

The messages between you and him are so ironic and haunting. @Preety_India Yes, that is why his death devastates me. If he hadn't sent me this message, I wouldn't have been as affected. My heart is wounded right now. I hope death really is heaven for him.

@SoonHei He sent me a message once. I hadn't talked to him and didn't know him but he was compassionate and positive in his message. So, the good things you said about your brother must be true. I feel very sad about what happened to him. I wish he had chosen a different decision or place. Continue grieving, but from time to time, remember he is at least free from any form of suffering now and can't be harmed in any way. And that the best thing you can do is to finally overcome the grief. That is probably what he wants for you and the rest of his family. To Leo and forum members here: Making crazy claims but can't back it up with actions have already done much harm. If you had walked more and talked less, you would have been more careful in your talks. You would have changed your claims from "Life and Death are imaginary. Don;t worry about it. Look at me, I don't". "You are God and Only you exist, your family and friends don't. SO don't worry about it. Look at me, I don't." to "Life and Death are real. And so is pain. So be careful. But when you get to a point where your consciousness gets so elevated, you see Life, Death, Family, and Friends as imaginary, still be careful. Because imagination is also real." Most humans are easily persuaded by "authority" figures. So, they tend to believe things, no matter how outlandish and absurd they are. My speculation is Sunny believed he could finally awaken from the "imaginary dream" of life after jumping from the bridge. It was a dogmatic belief, no skepticism and no experience of "awakening" or "God-realization". I also speculate there have been many followers of Leo (vulnerable ones) who have been harmed directly or indirectly via his teachings. But we never heard of them because nobody reported.

Is this demonstrable? Like raising the dead back to life, manifesting fish and bread via imagination or willpower, turning water into wine, or healing your SIBO via imagination or willpower? I hope it is demonstrable. I would be happy if you provide the answer via telepathy.

Somebody finally detonated a truth bomb. But the explosion will be a waste of energy, time, and intelligence if there is no introspection, self-honesty, and bravery.