Ulax

https://youtube.com/@davidtian?si=WiCLrlzwscu2FZXr

I am curious about answering this question of how to think when answering questions. I have seen Leo’s video on contemplation (thank you for that Leo). However, I would like to hear some more perspectives. For example, how to think when describing something?

DBT therapy can be helpful for learning about how to more effectively handle intense emotions imo. And if you find yourself falling back into old patterns perhaps remember that every day is a new chance to try again

Hey bro, Sounds to me like you are taking some wise and sensible steps towards changing some unwanted beliefs and emotions. I’d recommend some radical acceptance to help deal with the toxic person you were in relationship with: https://themighty.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/Radical-Acceptance-DBT.pdf Then perhaps experiment with repeating compassionate and encouraging phrases to yourself: - https://www.calm.com/blog/words-of-encouragement - https://the-conflictexpert.com/2019/08/06/32-phrases-to-help-you-express-empathy/ And then re therapy, I’d say I think it’s great that you are taking action by seeing a therapist! I think a helpful approach can be to have initial meetings with a few different therapists before committing to one. And also perhaps keep in mind what sort of therapy you want. Maybe you already know this but different therapies can approach psychological change in very different ways.

@Nito I think, at least in part, you need to find some ways to emotionally regulate yourself. And you need short term and term strategies for this. Reason being that I think addiction is often a way of coping with emotional dysregulation. For short term, DBT therapy can help imo. For long term, maybe work on reducing chronic stressors if possible, work on therapies which can heal your nervous system and do the basic of sleep, exercise and diet. That said, I think it’s important to diagnose the roots of your addiction correctly. For example, maybe your nervous system is dysregulated from having undiagnosed dyslexia and having low ability to meet the demands of life. So doing therapy wouldn’t help. Also, I think consult the works and opinions of addiction experts. And see if you can get 1-on-1 coaching with addiction experts if finances allow. That said, I am just a random dude on a forum who thinks he is Leonardo DiCaprio ;). So take my opinions with a pinch of salt imo

@Leo Gura All the best re your book. Am sure it will be 🔥

Surely meditation is anti survival. People have all their emotional dysregulation and suffering because of a mix of genetics and survival adaptions to external conditions. Surely if everything humans do is about survival then humans would either focus on changing the external circumstances that cause their suffering or just do nothing. Why would it help human’s to survive to regulate their emotions via meditation and in effect get rid of the impetus to deal with their survival challenges. Doesn’t make sense to me

What is your evidence for this?

I agree with some of what you say. But I think it does somewhat help guys with their issues. It’s not so black or white an answer as I think your comment suggests. A lot of the hyper masculine stuff centres around taking more personal responsibility and taking action. And I think that can help people somewhat improve in things like dating and what not. On the other hand, it usually leads to a fragmented mind full of disowned parts of self and a certain narcissism that can make relationships difficult and lead to various serious emotional issues imo too.

I get that in part. A sense that this core part of being a man is being socialised away and that core part can make life epic. And not just for you but for others too! And the fact that it seems like society is preventing the flourishing of men. But I feel your views discount the positives of these kinds of nice guys. Pleasant and respectful to be around, have been socialised to not cause emotional harm to people and wait until they get to know people better before making being more controversial. So are more compassionate and empathetic. Though I understand that can often come from fear too. Maybe sometimes these guys are more boring. But I generally prefer boring and polite, than asshole dudes who are more fun. Maybe this is a bit of a false dichotomy but I hope you can see my point. Imo as a young dude it’s easy to sort of demonise the nice parts of yourself or parts that play it safe as you work on trying to become more attractive with the opposite sex and become effective in the world. But I dunno I think those qualities are valuable too in their own way, and aiming for more internal integration rather than transformation is better. So overall, to answer your question, I cope with these man-children by seeing positives in them. As well as acknowledging some of the irritations.

Come on Leo. At least respond to the guys arguments. Your comment is unreasonable.

Dr K over at HealthyGamerGG made a 10 rules for life. Peterson has his 12 rules for life (x2) Leo, I was wondering if you had say 10 rules or guiding principles for life? No worries if not.

I get you

😯 Thanks

Lmao

Damn we got Leo accused of being a demon before Gta 6.

I wonder what Leo will name the book. ”Rats in a labcoat” maybe lol. Or “Rat wars” hehe

I’d disagree that people are too dumb for liberal democracies. Being uneducated is an issue for democracies though. Because when people’s needs don’t get met they get resentful and then low consciousness actors manipulate that resentment with a false narrative as to why their needs are getting met. And then radicalisation and extremism emerges. I take this view from Jason Stanley (Yale/ Toronto prof). Yes better education helps because it allows people to better understand why their needs aren’t getting met and therefore makes a population less vulnerable to manipulation. However, you don’t always need to fix educational levels to resolve radicalism. You can also work on meeting people’s needs better so that those resentments don’t arise. And therefore low consciousness actors have less to fuel to feed their manipulations. For example, I know Ian Shapiro (Yale polsci prof) argues that the radical politics since 2016 is the result of long term employment insecurity. So, according to Ian Shapiro, the focus ought be to fix employment insecurity in order to resolve the radical post 2016 politics. Note how there is no need to fix peoples level of education because it fixes the source of resentment.

(This is more me just thinking as I type, but I will share nonetheless) Various Green folk trigger me in part because they often do a sort of an educational half step. They educate themselves to understand roots problems better. But then don’t educate themselves on how to effectively bring about the necessary events to resolve the root problems. Or even think that this is something they ought to do. And then they end up being part of the problem and subscribe to green group think or become ideological about why their solutions don’t work. Personally I feel I’m still pretty noobish when it comes to pol sci but at least I understand it’s important for me to learn about political strategy. And so in that aspect I think I have yellow thinking, and when greens are ignorant/ dismissive of it I get frustrated. I think Yellow will get most annoyed at Green out of anyone because lower stages are uneducated and primal in many ways. In that fulfilment of their base needs drive a lot of their worldviews. So they are not so relatable. Where as Green shares various values with yellow, such as non-judgement (to a large degree at least). And there is this shared sense of wanting to help everyone in society flourish. However, yellow sees how green both takes responsibility for making this change and also negates their responsibility. They do the former by trying to bring about societal changes and what not. They do the latter when they blame blue and orange for resisting their ability to make changes. And in doing so ignore how they failed to be strategic enough. And I think this annoys yellow a lot.

I’m not really sure I understand what issue you are finding with his reply. Can you help me understand?

I am doing the ‘What impact could have in the world that would be deeply meaningful to me?’ exercise. And am struggling with what to pick. I have done probs a few hours of contemplating on this so far. And am just wondering how to pick my answer. Like I guess I’m sort of waiting for an ‘aha!’ answer to come and have clarity. But that hasn’t happened yet, and I am panicking a little lol. So was hoping for some pointers please @Leo Gura :). If anyone else wants to share their perspective I’d be grateful too!

I think Carl was just kidding around haha

@Majed Solution is that earning that capital becomes part of your life purpose.

But my lil rat brain likes these gimmicks 😝

@samijiben Haha thanks!