Ulax

Are you okay btw?

Sounds great dude. I really like it. How old are you btw?

https://youarerad.org/therapy

I believe they can be a source of joy, owing primarily to my belief in the IFS model

@Vibes I'm glad it provoked such a response for you

@Kksd74628 Okay, I think the disagreement was more in the implications I saw you to be making. On another point, I think the mindset has to change before the actions do.

Here is me replying to you. I'll park my point about neurodivergence for now, as I am assuming you are responding only to my point that trauma needs to be addressed and identified, if one is to be able to be disciplined. Am I understanding you correctly? I'll start by identifying what I see to be the distinct claims you make: 1. "I understand that doing things varies in difficulty between people and there are many variables that affect on it, but saying to yourself that I can't be disclipined because of my condition is just telling yourself lies that weaken you, because EVERYONE CAN DO ANYTHING THEY WANT" 2. "Of course inner work should be done as well simultaneosly, but start your work today and don't wait until your traumas are healed or you'll never do anything" 3. "While you become disclipine also your self-esteem and confidence grows and I'd say that this helps also in curing traumas" Responding to (1.): "I understand that doing things varies in difficulty between people and there are many variables that affect on it, but saying to yourself that I can't be disclipined because of my condition is just telling yourself lies that weaken you, because EVERYONE CAN DO ANYTHING THEY WANT" I actually agree with your explicit claim. However, I suspect that we understand the claim to mean different things. I agree because having trauma isn't necessarily a barrier to becoming disciplined. However, I think for a significant amount of people if people try to become disciplined without healing their trauma then they will necessarily fail. I agree because I believed everyone with trauma can become disciplined but this would only necessarily be true if they all healed their trauma. So, while all non-traumatised persons would need to do basic self-help to become disciplined, a significant amount of people with trauma would need to heal their trauma, and then do basic self-help to become disciplined. So you see that the process of becoming disciplined would require more from a traumatised person. A significant amount of those with trauma will fail to become disciplined because of self-sabotaging parts. I use parts in the 'internal family systems' sense. A significant amount of people with trauma will have parts that will prevent the person from performing actions that contribute to success. Such parts are what I identify to be self-sabotaging parts. For example, if someone was bullied they may have a part that associates attention with danger. Success often is accompanied by attention. Therefore, that part seeks to avoid success as it sees success as dangerous. A disciplined lifestyle is a lifestyle cultivated to achieve success in a domain. It would follow that such a part would associate discipline with danger as well, and therefore resist such a lifestyle. Therefore, a significant amount of those with trauma will fail to become disciplined because of self-sabotaging parts Responding to 2. "Of course inner work should be done as well simultaneosly, but start your work today and don't wait until your traumas are healed or you'll never do anything" I agree with this. For example, let's say someone aims to make £10,000 in a year. Let's call them Simon. Simon picked this goals as he wants to make as much money as he can and decides its a sensible target for himself. Simon understands that achieving this aim will require a certain number of acts, with each act he does contributing more to this aimed total and correspondingly require a certain amount of discipline. Simon then come to believe the following things. 1. He has trauma 2. With his current trauma, even if he give his best efforts to healing, he would have self-sabotaging parts that would prevent him from achieving the required discipline to achieve his £10,000 aim. 3. With his current trauma, even if unhealed, he could make a non-nominal amount of money this year. 4. The more Simon attempts to heal his trauma, the likely he'll be more disciplined Simon evaluates his beliefs and decides that he won't try anything. I think Simon would be foolish in that example. Given his aims, it would best for him to do as you say. Work as disciplined as he can, accepting he is handicapped by how disciplined he can be and attempt to heal the trauma simultaneously so as to increase the likelihood of his monetary return being maximised. Responding to 3. 3. "While you become disciplined also your self-esteem and confidence grows and I'd say that this helps also in curing traumas" I think this can help a bit. However, I think there is a cap on how much help becoming disciplined can improve your self-esteem and confidence. Also, becoming disciplined could even have detrimental consequences on the self-esteem of parts of traumatised people. I am defining confidence and self-esteem as being about how well you can meet the demands of your environment. I return again to an IFS understanding of the mind. I think some parts will, by becoming disciplined, increase in self-esteem and confidence. For example, say there is a part that wants to achieve material success, by becoming disciplined towards a particular aim the probability of success is increased. So, the likelihood that that parts sees itself as being able to meet the demands of its environment is increased because the demands of the environment for that part are about getting from A to B, despite whatever the circumstances may be. Consequently, the self-esteem and confidence is increased. However, no traumatised psyche is made up of parts that only want success. Returning to the example, let's say there is a part who when that person was put down by peers for winning a science competition, decided that they were a bad person if they were successful and that success meant being unsafe. They feel shame whenever they are successful. For this part, becoming disciplined will not increase the likelihood of that part feeling self-esteem or confidence. In fact it will increase the likelihood of the part feeling lower self-esteem and confidence. The reason being that the part feels better able to meet the demands of its environment when unsuccessful, as there is less fear of being unsafe.

I think you make a great point. I see your argument as follows: 1. You do pick up to sleep with significantly more women 2. By realising you are god, you sleep with dramatically more women 3. Therefore, its better to realise you are god than sleep with significantly more women. ---------------------------------------- I think that logically works. However, I don't think it would be a sound argument. I see point number 1 as being correct. I think there are numerous ways people approach pick up. Some certainly approach it and teach it as a way of sleeping with more women. However, the way I always thought about it, and I feel a lot more people thought about it from around 2008 to 2015 was that pick up was a form of emancipation. You put in the work and you become this super charismatic person, where the world turns from a dark, grey place into a place of awesomeness, connection, and freedom! For many, the priority is the social ability and quality of life you get, rather than the amount of sexual success you have.

That's sick! How come that plan has come about?

I think people tend to be referring to atomism when they refer to individualism in the context of individualism v collectivism. Atomism being the idea we should be treated as individual units, and where one ends up is a result of individual choices. I.e. pulling yourself up by your bootstraps idea.

What do you like about philosophy? For example, some people really like the ideas, some people really like argumentative precision (i.e. love logic), or something else.

I get where you're coming from. However, I do think it matters. If we engage in relationships with people who have not met their needs on their own, then they will often rely on us to meet their needs for them. And, I believe that is generally the root of an unhealthy relationship.

I don't think there is anything wrong with it in of itself. I think it would depend upon the place that it is coming from. For example, is it an expression of a love he feels, or is it something he is using because he feels he wants to try and win you over, or something else. So, I guess that would be something for you to ponder over. --------------------------------------------------------- Re being territorial, I don't quite understand what you mean by that. I do pick up a sense of aggressiveness to that. However, that could just be in terms of having boundaries. It would, to my mind, be important to try to understand how he goes about boundaries and personal preferences. I think a useful couple of books for communication, and boundaries are: 'When I say no I feel guilty', and 'Non Violent communication'. Good luck

@Kksd74628 I like your response. I'll try to drop you a reply later

I think we have a difference of opinion

Hi, I think my life purpose will involve seeking to maximise political progress in my country. I like Leo's advice about voting for the most high consciousness candidate. I want to dedicate my career to supporting such candidates, and there's a clear political party to get behind in my country in light of that. I was wondering what thoughts folks had regarding that, and what roles people could think of. I.e. trade unions, roles within political parties. I go to a very prestigious university, which means I have numerous high level options more available to me, at least to my mind. I'm also privileged enough to be highly intellectual. I don't mean to brag, I just think its an important factor to consider in this circumstance. Thank you in advance.

Some useful stuff here for sure imo. However, i think its important to include the variables that trauma and neurodivergence bring into play re the ability to be disciplined. For many, those things need to be checked, and if necessary addressed. Otherwise, life will be v frustrating, and discipline a herculean task

Ye, sounds like a useful short term solution. Just have to decide whether the insomnia risk is worth it

I'm learning IFS therapy for my LP that will almost certainly be to do with expanding the accessibility of IFS

@mmKay ?

Main speaker starts around 4:00

I think of Ido Portal, Peter Ralston, and somatic therapists. I think general fitness is great. However, I think people can come to see the body as just a tool of the mind, and not something to be cared for, looked after, and have a positive relationship built with. Here some ido portal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcJ8mCS5BN8 Here is a somatic therapist called Peter Levine: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1RnTipiU_Q

Yo bud. Sorry to hear that for you. It sucks that you are seemingly suffering as you are. I sincerely wish the best for you. Firstly, I'll say whatever you feel is valid. Its there for a reason. It doesn't necessarily mean the thought you have is true. But imo its all serving some purpose. Secondly, it seems to me that you have some trauma to overcome, and that you feel lesser than because you don't have girls in your life in a sexual way. I think @Tyler Robinson has some wise words here: Imo believing you are lesser than because you don't get girls is a product of socialisation. I don't believe you need to be getting girls to feel fulfilled, which is what I think you really want. However, I believe that you think that getting girls will make you fulfilled, which is super understandable if that is the case. However, I don't think its as straightforward as just giving up these constructs. I think you need to find a practical way of actually becoming fulfilled, otherwise 'giving up these constructs' or 'raising your self esteem' can easily becomes another should. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You'll probs be thinking about pickup/ game. And I see the following as both being part of that. I'd personally recommend the following two things: 1. Conversational skills training, and basic attraction training - If you have money, I know the 'ultimate man project' (UMP) product is well regarded (re attraction). Seems healthier than other stuff too. - Also, I'd go through a v basic social skills guidebook like this: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Social-Skills-Guidebook-Shyness-Conversations/dp/0994980701/ref=asc_df_0994980701/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=310805565966&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=16570996892812841450&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1006976&hvtargid=pla-319371346076&psc=1&th=1&psc=1. A decent amount of guys feel reluctant to do this but its helpful to get the v fundamentals down. 2. Modern trauma therapy - I.e. IFS therapy, somatic experiencing therapy I personally think the result you'll get from recommendation two would be dramatically more fulfilling than recommendation one's. But ye its up to you. I wish you well.

@Raze Lit, thanks.

Hi, If experimenting with ketamine whilst having a dissociative disorder, does this present an added risk? I don't have DID, but do have depersonalisation. I understand that ketamine is dissociative in its effects, so wanted to hear perspectives. Thanks in advance.