Ulax

@AriSujan In my experience, nightgame is where its really at in making progress in pick up. If you do it well, then that is where the truly life changing pickup growth is at in my opinion. Also, I personally found it much more fun! Once you start hitting state frequently, and you start to just enjoying game to game, then I think its a really cool time. Lots of people from all over the place who are looking to have adventures. They have time on their hands when they are out. And people are actively looking to party. I think the best thing would be to primarily focus on nightgame, but then also add in a little bit of daygame as well. Edit: i also think it could probably he harder to start learning game via daygame. I think it can be quite demoralising especially if you are not quite as socially calibrated. Night game lets you feel like less of an odd one out I feel when starting out, and so if you then later do daygame you'll have more experience being socially gregarious and daygame will feel less of a big deal, in my opinion.

@Bob Seeker Maybe try a relational/person-centred therapy like Gestalt with a female psychotherapist. Perhaps one you find more attractive, so you can deal with more sexual things that come for you in the relationship. My idea is that if successful you would heal what i see to be a mother wound in you. And, in my opinion, then instead of projecting your current mother-you relationship onto women you would project this high consciousness psychotherapist-you relationship onto women.

@Jodistrict I've been pretty impressed by Prince Harry's exploration of healing modalities. It seems to me he has an open mind to lots of different healing modalities! I.e.. heard he did EMDR as well. I'm pleased for the guy.

@Lila9 You're welcome And, thanks.

This book is cool af, imo. Think its Turquoise. It presents the author's ideas around levels of consciousness and how to move between them.

@Devin 6!? You living in the land of Colombian supermodels or something?

@Something Funny I think I understand. However, if what is posted is within the guidelines, its okay to post it. But just because something seems low consciousness, it doesn't, to my mind, mean it shouldn't be here. If you want to avoid getting what you see to be limiting beliefs from the dating section, then I would recommend taking personal responsibility and just avoiding this section of the forum. Or perhaps putting some users on ignore. Or, in my opinion, working on the underlying psychological dynamics that keep you returning to this section, when it doesn't seem to serve some of your conscious goals.

@Danioover9000 What conservative positions do you hold?

@Emerald Then you have the issue of why more men aren't doing Jungian therapy if it would solve so many of their problems. If inner work is so crucial why aren't more men doing it? I believe it is massively crucial but its also important to understand where different demographics of men are at in terms of their ability to even grasp the importance of it.

@spiritual memes I'd disagree with this. My belief is that in my society celebrates the hypermasculinity of a certain class of men. I.e. men who are hyper masculine by about 16 years of age. And if you don't make it by that time, society sort of condemns guys embracing the hyper masculine edge. Id point to how much pushback doing pickup gets. Toxic masculinity isn't the same as hypermasculinity to me. 'Act like an alpha male' is hypermasculinity. 'You are a little bitch if you don't' is toxic masculinity to me. Being able to be like an alpha male has a lot of value to it in my opinion. I also disagree with this. In previous times, when I've been in a really great period of growth from hyper masculine stuff, i.e. achieving big goals, becoming a champion sportsmen, and doing cold approach pick up, I've felt much more comfortable opening up about my feminine side. 'Macho guys' just seemed like a joke to me. Like they weren't even masculine or feminine, just kind of strange. And also i think its a pretty black & white statement to say 'feminine men are called weak submissive betas'. I'd say plenty of men do act that way but a fair amount of guys are pretty understanding. And I think it depends what sub-culture of men you are thinking of, i.e. working class men in east London, or upper-middle class seniors at Cambridge university. Returning to my personal experiences, I'd say I felt more comfort I was assured enough in my masculinity that I felt minimal threat in being perceived as more feminine. So, I know at a point in my life I was relatively comfortable expressing feminity. I even had a depression party at my university bar lol. That said, I think unless you experience the social freedom that comes with doing fun cold approach pick up, its hard to understand that level of social freedom/ confidence is actually possible. And its that freedom/ confidence that i think allowed me to be more chill with the feminity in me. But I'm aware learning fun cold approach pick up is very abnormal. So, I think it says a lot that that is what it took for me to feel relatively chill about my more feminine sides. And, when I'm not doing it I feel much more restricted in expressing feminity. Also, in my adolescence, I had a internet mentor in Owen cook who i could relate to as both a masculine guy and also someone who spoke about his deep emotions and suffering. Not that there weren't repressant aspects to his teachings too.

@Something Funny Perhaps you are just more conscious of both your personal psychology and also what will actually help you in life.

@Dmari I'd say procrastination occurs when at least two parts of one's psyche have different goals. So, I'd say procrastination is just result of having conflicting goals, be those goals conscious or unconscious.

@The Mystical Man Nice. I think Vaknin is, relatively speaking, a pretty conscious guy. And its pretty remarkable to me what he's managed to do given the NPD psychic structure he was socialised into. His depth psychotherapy perspectives have a lot of merit, in my opinion. That said, I think he has limiting beliefs about how much the NPD psyche can be altered. I think he neglects the further positive impact therapies like Gestalt, and Internal Family systems therapy could do. Particularly IFS. Also, from what I've seen, he doesn't account for the potential growth through spirituality. Also, in the time I watched him I did notice him go off on some seemingly unhinged rants. It appeared to me he was relatively unconscious of his motives during those episodes.

@How to be wise My agreement with your point of view would rest, to my mind, on what way a stage yellow thinker could come to be 'right wing'. To me, there's a big difference in supporting a right wing party because (1) It seems the decision that will produce the best systemic outcomes in a certain context, and (2) Supporting right wing parties because you agree with the ideological underpinnings of right wing parties. In general, the latter seems pretty non-sensical because, to my mind, most right wing parties have political ideologies which refute systems thinking. And you cant be a stage yellow systems thinker who refutes systems thinking.

@StarStruck Overall, I think the views this youtuber expresses here are somewhat accurate. However, I see what I think are major flaws. I also am suspicious of his motives. Firstly, I'd say he's within the paradigm of 'Everything is about survival' when it comes to relationships. And, I agree with that. Secondly, I would like to see what sources he cites for his beliefs. It appears to me he is attempting to fit into the category of a competent professional psychologist and my views are thus more credible. However, I wonder why he doesn't cite sources for his arguments. Accordingly, I feel somewhat suspicious of his motives. I am wary that he may just trying to get into the manosphere market, whilst avoiding the critiques levelled at people like Tate by talking in a very professional manner, and implying the image that his views are based on credible sources. That said, I think if that is the case and he becomes popular, I think he could represent a success in cancelling Tate. In terms of catering to the Tate audience, but in a less incendiary and more mature manner. Though I suspect he lacks the personality to get much of Tate's previous market share. Thirdly, I think a flaw in his views is that he doesn't account for attachment theory in his worldview. In his use of rational, it appears to me that the talker is arguing that, be it consciously or unconsciously, women select the highest value guy they can get. However, I think the truth is women select the highest perceived value guy they can get. A women with a disorganised attachment type will often look, to my understanding, for a partner who she feels both a sense of connection to and unsafety around, and will actually want abuse at an unconscious. A securely attached women would not want someone who abuses her. Therefore, to my mind, these two women would perceive different men as maximising their survival interests. So, I suppose my point here is that the talker makes the mistake of not accommodating for how attachment styles affect what a women determines to be attractive in a potential partner. Fourthly, I think he doesn't account for how cultural influences potentially affect the value men and women put on relationships. I.e. just because men in 2023 USA don't value them as highly, doesn't mean its intrinsic to men not to value them as highly. Its possible, to me, that a differently socialised male population could value them as highly or even higher.

@Jowblob I think there are different interpretations of Peterson's ideas surrounding being a monster. I think there are lower consciousness ways, i.e. putting on a persona of being tough. And higher consciousness ways, i.e. jungian shadow integration.

@Bobby_2021 Here is my perspective. I'd say concentration type meditation is pretty great, in my opinion. I find it gives me a firm sense of self and feel more safe. Hence, I get less triggered. And i think you can get quick improvements with that. Using relaxation methods when triggered, such as breathing techniques. Using relaxation techniques at certain point(s) during the day, so you are just in a baseline calmer state. Understanding high consciousness psychological theories, such as non-violent communications, and defence mechanism theories. Doing deep inner shadow work, i.e. depth psychotherapies, exploring past via journaling, psychedelics. Having multiple deep, intimate friendships. Socialising a lot. Ego transcendence I.e. spiritual work.

@Jowblob In what way would you say that its more complicated? And I don't really understand your stated opinions concerning god in this context.

@supremeyingyang You don't believe in astrology?

@Nilsi I find that possibility very sad. I believe the value of human life to be ever present, despite whatever perceived transgressions one may do.

Hey, Anyone here have knowledge about doing trataka meditation? If so, I'd be hoping for tips regarding concentrating on an object in my minds eye. (as opposed to some object in my field of view) Thanks in advance.

@Someone here Would you class yourself as a systemic thinker?

@StarStruck Fairs man. We can have differing opinions.

@StarStruck I think its definitely a pick up topic. But I don't want to debate further about whether it is or not.

@ZenAlex I've been very numb for decades now. I've spent most of my adult life so far focused on the resolving this issue. My current theoretical understanding is that you need to process some significant unconscious emotion(s), and then the numbness will go. So deep shadow work would be my recommendation. Also, it might be that the idea that you need to process something deeply from your past surprising. But I'd offer the perspective that it might be that you are actually just dissociated from some trauma from your past, (side note: I'd include neglect as abuse. From what I've seen it seems neglect can often lead to numbness)