Ulax

Is your workplace one where there is a basic level of respect shared between all staff, and when there isn't there are accessible ways provided by the workplace to deal with a lack of respect? Also, I'd recommend the following workbook: https://www.amazon.com/Transforming-Living-Legacy-Trauma-Therapists/dp/1683733487/ref=sr_1_2?crid=351QN8UKYL39C&keywords=fisher+janina&qid=1661874920&sprefix=fisher+janin%2Caps%2C197&sr=8-2

Nice one dude. I rate the positive intention of your post. I think there is certainly a need for positive pickup. However, I don't think there's anything inherently non-positive about pursuing pick up just for sex, or having sex be a major goal in one's pickup journey. I think encouraging growth via challenging one's comfort zone and making someone's day are cool things to aspire towards, nonetheless. I think what's important is for positive pickup is to value and respect healthy boundaries of both parties. I don't think that is done nearly enough.

@Atb210201 Okay dude, you're welcome. Best of luck with things.

I wanted to voice an opinion of mine. That I think it can be helpful to remember that the mastery curve applies to our mental health journeys, just as much as it does to things like business. -------------------------------------------- I'd recommend noticing how the dips still represent progress, without them mastery doesn't occur!

Sounds to me like you're pretty codependent. She seems more towards the narcissistic end. It doesn't sound like a healthy relationship to me. I'd read the book, 'You are the one you have been waiting for' by Schwartz. Imo you basically need to get yourself into a secure attachment style to have a fulfilling relationship. I think that can only really be done via a depth psychotherapy of some sort.

@Nightwise I'd say whatever mental health recovery tool you are working on, i.e. IFS/ CBT.

@koyadr3 If you want advice from Leo on this I'd recommend looking up his videos that mention 'intuition' in their title

'Hey it was nice to meet meet up with you the other night. I valued various parts of our time together. However, being honest, I didn't realise the meetup was going to be a date. On my end, I didn't feel that spark between us. So, I think its best we end things here. I wish you the best' I've sent out similar messages in the past, and have had girls thank me for being straightforward and kind about it.

I think Freud's work was brilliant. However, nowadays its outdated, imo. I think there are better things to do in the realm of depth psychotherapy like IFS style parts work approaches, and somatic approaches. The issue with stage orange work only is that you can't break/ change unconscious cycles effectively. And, for example, if you want to have intimate, healthy relationships you often have to make changes at the unconscious level.

@Fuku Heya, thanks for posting. Sorry to hear you're going through all this. It sounds to me like you're going through a lot of distress. At this point, I'd recommend staying away from spiritual practices and working on depth psychotherapies to address your mental health situation. My current recommendation would be to engage with the following two books from Dr Janina Fisher: https://www.amazon.com/Transforming-Living-Legacy-Trauma-Therapists/dp/B09CRJYL34 https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Fragmented-Selves-Trauma-Survivors-ebook/dp/B06X9YWZMM Imo, the second linked book is only really needed if you want to do a deep dive into the approach I am recommending here. The first link is a very accessible workbook for clients to use to aid their recovery from deep mental health issues. I think it would also be worth seeing a psychiatrist who is informed about ADHD to check whether you have that or not. Or potentially any other form of neurodivergence. I understand life is tough for you right now but I think there's a lot of resources out there that can help you. I hope this helped.

Dude if they're not treating you respectfully, i.e. demeaning you, not respecting boundaries etc., that's a problem with them not with you. They shouldn't be treating you like that. I would not talk to them, and then go find women who treat people respectfully. You can play co-dependency games to try and turn them round, attraction wise, but I don't think its very healthy.

@Aleister Crowleyy Ye dude his story is mad

@Leo Gura Lmao

@Nilsi A guy who used to be on the forum. Someone linked some of his old threads on a previous page of this thread

Personally, if what they did was something akin to the level you are describing, I would set a personal boundary and not let them back into my life. Unless they have done substantial work in a depth psychotherapy. Otherwise, to my mind, they haven't really changed, as the same unconscious patterns will persist and therefore the same type of behaviours will manifest again and again from them.

@KH2 Okay gotcha. So I asked because I saw your view regarding not seeing emotional suppression as bad/ toxic, particularly suppression of sadness. JP endorses a lot of Carl Jung's work and I found this clip of him talking about where one needs to look, according to jungian psychoanlaysis, in order to grow: (I've timestamped it on purpose) It sounds to me that you hold the emotions of sadness and depression in contempt. If I am correct, then it would follow that JP would endorse that looking into sadness and depression would be a gateway into what you need to know. So, it appears to me that JP would recommend that you try to understand your sadness and depression in some manner. From other Jungian videos I've watched, suppression is also unhealthy from that perspective because whatever you supress/ repress becomes a part of your shadow. However, that does not mean that that shadowed part of you has no effect on you, it just effects your life unconsciously.

@KH2 What's your opinion on Jordan Peterson?

@Raptorsin7 Nice one. I haven't really seen enough to comment on John Elite. Ye I think everyone has nuggets of wisdom to share for sure. However, I think a lot of people will give a lot of untrue advice alongside their occasional nuggets of wisdom. And, to my mind and experience, when learning a new craft its very difficult to separate the true from the untrue as you don't have the reference experiences to evaluate against. Therefore, I think its important to be very selective with who your mentors are.

@Raptorsin7 I think Owen is a quality PUA coach, and I don't find that video particularly persuasive, from what I saw of it. I just think its a mistake to select Tate like figures as your role model. I think its unhealthy and I doubt the usefulness of those types, especially relative to other potential mentors. But, hey, if we have a difference of opinion, then we have a difference opinion.

@ZzzleepingBear I agree. However, the point I intended to make was that love doesn't desire the object of love. There can be love without desire for the object of love, imo.

I disagree with premise 2. If you've ever done loving-kindness meditation, you might have experienced a love-like state where you have wished someone well, despite them not being around you. You just want the best for them.

@Vercingetorix Okay dude. I think this is going to create an uncomfortable situation for all parties involved if you do it. I think this is a pretty unsocially calibrated thing to be intending to do.

@hyruga I actually mostly agree with you. However, I think we have to realistic regarding who we recommend to the demographic who resonates with Tate like figures. I think Cook is a realistic person to recommend, who represents a healthier message than Tate, at least in most aspects, imo. @mmKay I think there is a lot of value to those two mentors. I've watched a decent amount of both of them, and respect various aspects of their teachings. I think they would be healthier folks to be taken on as role models than Tate and Owen Cook. So it makes sense to me why you recommend them. However, I wouldn't recommend them as role models to the demographic who resonates with Tate. I don't think its realistic to expect that Tate fans would resonate with these two. Thinking about it again, It might even be better to recommend Todd first than Cook, who, imo, is the most analytical and closest to being manipulative out of the RSD guys I know. I think Tate resonators would click most with him. Then hope they can absorb some higher consciousness ideas alongside him from the other instructors. That said, because of the youtube pickup culling, I doubt whether much of the RSD teaching are really that accessible to people.

Bruh, that's scary as shit lmao

@Raptorsin7 Have you checked out Owen Cook before?