Roy

Well simply put the best way to get rid of that anxiety is to get experience, which is done by simply doing it. But that's just stating the obvious and not very helpful. So here is something that might help - Think of approaching women like running into a bear in the woods (stay with me here lol). It seems terrifying on face value and you have this list of reasons why it's bad and scary, but the truth is the overwhelming majority of the time they are more scared of you than you are of them. So are you never going to walk again on a beautiful hiking trail because you might run into a bear? No, fuck that! You are a man and you have the right to enjoy whatever path you damn well please! Of course you're not at risk of being mauled to death by a woman (depends actually ). So like running into an actual bear the best thing you can do in those situations is show confidence (even if it's feigned for now). If you do this women will feel more comfortable to let their guard down and fall back into their feminine nature and submit to you (like how a bear will run away if you make noise and make yourself large). The truth is they WANT to submit to a strong authentic man. Even if all their logic and language is saying otherwise. Realize this and make it your job to embody this in a healthy, skilled way. Think about it. Why should you be more scared than them? You're supposed to be the man and get what you damn well want! Put the ball in their court by being fearless, because really what do you have to fear anyways?

Jesus H Christ LMAO. What a ridiculous, immature, and irresponsible reason to move to another COUNTRY, let alone another city. I hope this would never be the centerpiece reason or top priority of why someone would choose to move across the world. If you can't get laid or find a girlfriend within your own culture and country, packing up and moving your entire life isn't going to solve that, it's clear there are way deeper issues and skills to work on that this suggestion just seems like a hilarious colossal (and expensive) distraction. Not to mention there is the factor that it's probably at least x4 time easier to hook up with someone cross culturally as having sex or being in a relationship with a foreigner seems to be something that's highly fetishized. That dynamic can be exciting but takes away from the challenge of it imo and makes it harder to work long term.

I'm 28 and dating anyone below 25 for me is probably a big no most of the time for a long term relationship. It's about maturity and having matching levels of that that's the more important factor than age. If she's 19 with a 36 year old guy either she has had some massive growing up and is way ahead of her age, or the guy is a man-child and wants to hook up with a younger unit in order to stroke his ego (very common toxic social expectation for men). He's almost literally x2 her age so that does raise at least a few alarm bells.

Stop being so selfish and worrying about carrying others onto same journey you're on, let them walk their own path. If they aren't interested, great. If they do end up being interested, also great.

As rough as it seems, there is a massive silver lining here for you; You are very young and basically have your entire adult life ahead of you (including your financial one which is just getting started). There may be a lot of pain and trauma that came from this but you will heal from it with a willingness to learn (which you seem to have) and simply time..... You are actually lucky compared to most people as you experienced this at such a young age that the consequences were shitty but not life ruining/catastrophic, what if you were married or had a kid with this girl? Pondering these kinds of questions helps you cope and heal. You're back at square one? Great! Your life is just beginning so what a time to have a clean slate! You are stronger having gone through it and now know what to look out for in the future to protect yourself, and how to set boundaries. You're gonna be alright @SamueLSD

Alright well I guess don't make a thread then, just invite people through PM.

You don't have to ask permission just start your own discord and ask people here to come on.

Random off topic question @Leo Gura. What countries have you been to? Cheers.

I've only ever flipped between these two on the Myers tests over the years. What can I say I'm a natural ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It's not that JP chose all this, like many others he fell into a role because some video blew up years ago and now he's playing a part. It's all very convenient to his survival too since he's carved out a nice career from it being as public speaker. It's not like anybody who gets famous or falls into a category of left wing justice warrior or a fact spewing scientist takes the time to realize meta-analyze their own position, they do what feels socially acceptable (from their point of view) and sacrifice layers and layers of their own authenticity. This is the whole process that brings us to the "us vs them" thing. It takes a highly conscious person to truly not care what other people think and be willing to walk their own path, even if it means doing so in silence.

You're attracted to them sure, but have you ever actually been with a crazy girl? The attraction drops pretty quick a few days after you've had sex. I've had one experience and that's all I needed to learn from and protect myself for the future. Luckily it happened when I was a teenager so I had no finances or possessions at risk like a car, house, or savings. I recommend you get it out of your system now if you're relatively young and poor. It will also help you identify them in the future, some crazy girls don't rock the look and disguise themselves as other types. Once you sniff out enough crazy you need to cut it off early on before you're in too deep. Think with the head up top and not the one in your pants. Remember no matter how hot she is, even if she's your fantasy girl. It is NOTHING compared to the crazy nightmare you will face if you commit long term.

Simply experience, experience, experience. Trust the anxiety will cure itself as you get more experience. The nervousness you feel is an emotion based in anticipation, so once you're in the situations actually socializing and making it happen it fades. Once you figure out your socializing "style" or "niche" you'll know what to go to and that anticipation feeling that summons a bunch of negative and uncomfortable thoughts will go away, or at least be much weaker. You'll find that people are actually a lot less judgmental and don't care as much as your anxiety is telling you.

I'll be honest, in a petty and egoic (and almost slightly glad) way it made me feel better about not doing a lot this past year and avoiding my goals, because a lot of people are in the same boat. Though it's probably more of a curse now because it's just more ammo to beat myself up with.

If women wanted sex just as much as men do (or more) then; - Rape and sexual assault wouldn't be the social epidemic it's been through history. - There wouldn't be nearly as much Redpill, Incel, or MGTOW garbage spread around. - Human population would be even larger and more unsustainable. It fact it's SOOO obvious that men want sex more frequently than women do that I don't know how someone could be convinced otherwise unless they live in some obscure bubble somewhere in the world where the opposite is the case.

Just masturbate but don't use any pornography. Imagine the kind of girl you want to be with to motivate you for the long run while you're single. There is nothing wrong with getting that release once in a while, it's actually healthy for you. What's unhealthy is neurotically suppressing a perfectly natural desire. Practice some discipline if you need to, limit yourself to only once per week so you get the satisfaction you need and can focus on other things. The problem is porn and how easy it is to access, and the warping effects it has on your mind.

Alright so there is obviously some nervousness there, you are fearing her reaction. I would try to help build some confidence and get some reassurance by talking to her about it, so the next time you try for it she might be encouraged to help you get out of your head more. Obviously don't bring up anything about her, even if you say "it's not you, you're pretty" that will spoil things and make her question herself regardless. Put the spotlight of the conversation on yourself, not in a degrading way to make yourself look weak, but rather proactive that you're trying to solve the problem and you're looking for support. If she's a cool girl she'll understand. "Hey babe. I'm having a little trouble getting out of my head. It might take me longer to get hard and I think I'll need your help." (Full body massages are the BEST thing to suggest because everyone loves them, and they really put your body and mind in a state of relaxation, clear of thought.) Sorry for the intrusiveness but it's kind of practically relevant. Was there much foreplay or oral before you tried for sex? It's really important to help build excitement and get you warmed up. It also gives you a lot of time to settle in and relax (and let go of thought). Added note: If you end up not having sex, DO NOT get all depressed and let it ruin the vibe (easier said than done). You can still end up having fun, you could eat her out so she gets to cum and she'll forget you even tried to have sex! Or be super casual about it and say, "Hey my Johnson seems like it's broken, want to have cuddle for a movie and have some ice cream?" You need to have a sense of humor about it and be able to pivot to show you aren't taking yourself seriously. Hang in there dude I've been through the same thing.

What were yours? (While trying). You were likely in your head too much. Sex is supposed to be a primal, natural act. You shouldn't be thinking at all.

For anyone doing any kind of coaching or consulting, did you have any post-secondary education or professional experience relevant to teaching, guiding, or coaching people prior to becoming a coach? What was your general path? Is it simply the aptitude and understanding of the content you're coaching that gave you the foundation for what you have now? Thanks in advance.

Yea it's absolutely not fair @ColeMC01, but you have to ask yourself if you really want it, what other choice do you have?

no life coaches around these parts?

Why worry about something that is inevitable? Worry is reserved for things which have not yet happened but we fear might happen. You will get old, so what is there to worry about ? You are only as young as you feel. How many laps you've done around the sun is irrelevant unless you need to be a certain age to buy alcohol. I've met people who are 70 and look 50, and 40 who look 60. I've found it's best to ignore all that stuff about cognitive decline and what your "peak" is. Yea there may be science behind it, but isn't it more positive and exciting to just pretend you're going to beat the odds? Fuck science, be exceptional.

Then don't indulge her. Being the other participant with someone who might be looking to cheat on their partner is pretty much just as bad as what they're doing. Be better. Delete her number and forget about her.

God damnit it's like dealing with children in a daycare except it's fully grown adults who can vote.......... just take the vaccine. No they don't cause autism, you can't catch something you already have. You are gonna be fine.

It's obviously an egoic approach and is easily corrupted by selfishness. "Pleasure" being "Good" can make one easily blind to the fact that many pleasures come at the expense of other creatures and the environment. But since it's "Good" from the ego's POV the ends justify the means. Not to mention no matter how much you indulge in hedonism those experiences and states of pleasure are always fleeting, they are ultimately hollow and will never satisfy you. Anytime someone says they are a hedonist to me I basically laugh, they may as well have "Devil" on their forehead written in bright red letters

In a way yes, but what the OP is saying is just pragmatism, there is nothing offensive in any part of his post imo. MGTOW is saying what he's saying BUT doing it in a really selfish and blatantly sexist way, which is of course stupidity and devilry. I'm also in the same boat as the OP, it's funny I came across this now. I broke up with a recent partner yesterday because I've got other things I want to succeed more at in life right now and ultimately if I'm honest I'm just using a relationship as a distraction. I'm starting to realize I only have so much energy and resources in my life right now, I can't have it all so I need to make sacrifices. When I think long term anyways, I'm leaning quite heavily towards NOT getting married or having biological children anyways, so why do I need to foster and invest a ridiculous amount of time, money, and emotional energy into getting a woman for those things if I don't want them? I only want to adopt 1 child one day and I don't need a partner for that. Of course I'll want a partner again eventually as great relationships can be amazing things, but it won't be a major priority for me until I figure some other things out and accomplish what I want to. He does have a point here that people could learn from. We need to break the cultural conditioning of things we "should" be doing because for a lot of people it just leads to a mediocre or even shitty life. We're encouraged to do EVERYTHING at once, but that's absurd because only a rare few people are superhuman and can pull it off. If you're really serious about getting exactly what you want you need to make sacrifices and go hard at it and not care what people think because you won't be able to do it all by just following the "normal" path. You cannot have it all, but you can have what you want if you're focused and strategic enough. Just masturbate. There is nothing wrong with some self-love to fulfill your sexual desires in the meantime. Just have the discipline and self-awareness not to become a porn addict. There are plenty of successful and developed people that sacrificed relationships and sex on the way to reaching their goals. Do you think they all had a chastity belt on and were /r/NoFap moderators on the way to their accomplishments? No of course not.