Roy

Sounds like the issue is coming from your toxic framing of it, "Gay shit"? That's an unhealthy and slightly bigoted way to put it. There is nothing wrong or invalid about your experience, unless of course it wasn't consensual. It's just an alternative expression of sexuality. It wouldn't make you homosexual either, it would make you bi-sexual. Which are not just different things personally but culturally as well. But if you aren't actually interested in the same sex and aren't attracted to them then what are you worried about? You are manifesting the insecurity yourself.

@LfcCharlie4 Celery is legit my least favorite food in existence. It makes me gag. I refuse under any and all circumstances to eat it ever again haha. Is there another alternative with the same benefits?

Our current system is completely fucked and as a society we're destroying our environment, but you as an individual don't have to participate. The most important thing is to be preventative as possible not producing the waste in the first place, that's the best thing to help get rid of the guilt,. Don't purchase items with stupid excess packaging, just buy another product. That's the best thing to help get rid of the guilt, not having the impact in the first place. Bring reusable cloth bags to the grocery store! Bring a coffee mug to Starbucks! Refill a water bottle at a tap! My system is as follows; - 2 Compost bins. When one gets full I put it outside for the animals and insects. I dump it in the woods or ditch when the 2nd gets full. It's all biodegradable and helps the soil. - I burn all paper and cardboard at nights in the campfire when there is a lot. - Hard plastics & metal get recycled by the city. Though I clean and keep containers for leftovers and freezing food.

Stop being so selfish. Part of the reason the neuroticism and anger arises is because there is an underlying urge within you to make people think, act, and behave in a way that corresponds with what you want. Which is why you persist in arguing endlessly. The world is too complex for that obviously. Introspect for why that is. Ask questions; - It is insecurity? What do I feel lacking? - Am I wrong more often than I think? - Do I have to be the dominant man? - Do I care too much how others see me? The cure to overcoming this ultimately is radical acceptance. Realize that the world is exactly the way it should be, because it is. Everyone else can also feel the way you feel, they are absolutely convinced they are right. The conflict and negative emotions rise when one doesn't understand that and refuses to let go of their own position. Let the world flow as it does, and calmly ride the waves within it, rather than trying to steer them in the directions you want. Hope this helps - cheers - Roy

lol Solipsism is a laughably preposterous idea. It's an ego game of the mind and it doesn't even stand up to basic logic; If everyone is convinced they are the nexus of the universe, then who do you trust? It's an idea created by where you're willing to lend out your belief. That's it. Of course you'll insist, "Yea but you can't KNOW you're not the centre!" The knowing or not is irrelevant because the foundation is predicated on belief, which is inherently flawed.

@Javfly33 Quitting cold turkey will cause a lot of mental and physical discomfort. Also ego backlash, which will discourage you from trying to change the habit again when you fail to quit the first few times. Think about it, it's just coffee anyways, it's not like it's heroine or something where you should quit immediately. Just come up with a solid plan, because most people including probably you and definitely me just don't have the willpower to quit cold. Consider trying a strict regiment like this over the course of weeks so your body can adjust (customize depending on your addiction level); Week 1 - One coffee per day Week 2 - One coffee every OTHER day Week 3 - One coffee every 3 days Week 4 - One coffee every 4 days And so on until you feel you don't need it anymore. It's important NOT to replace it with other things like tea or pop. Simply drink water in it's place and pretend it's the coffee you usually drink. It's hydrating and great for you!

Yeah but they're usually useless girls so they're not that desirable anyways lol.

The whole notion of "good enough" are just standards we construct and set for ourselves. Do self-help because you love yourself and want to be better for the world.

It may not be necessary in a pragmatic sense, but it will be limiting. Humans are social creatures with a booming population, it's almost impossible to make money without relating to other people, because where else are you getting the money from? Letting intimacy take it course naturally will deepen your ability to relate with others. It can still happen for you even if you're a shy introvert. If you're not into having tons of friends why not go really deep with just a few people?

What you're describing sounds like you're smothering and coming from a place of neediness. Texting every day and going out a few times a week is too much early on, assuming you're talking about less than 1-2 months into the relationship. Women need time to breathe and process about how they feel about you emotionally (and hang out with their friends where she'll talk about you). They don't get that space if you're always there. Also showing so much affection and hoping to open her up is just more of the neediness. It's counter-intuitive because it's so tempting to want to seal and lock the relationship down if you're really into them, but consider being more detached at this stage of relationship. Make them message or call you some days and leave a sense of mystery. If there are days with no contact, it's easy to freak out and panic, but don't worry it's not like they've forgotten you exist already. Also don't share everything so fast and (sometimes) give off an attitude like you don't care. It drives them wild and they'll crave wanting to be with you for the next date if you do it right. Think of it as protecting the flame gently after having that spark. If you smother it or try to stoke it too much you'll lose it. Hope this helps - Roy

Maybe your futures haven't aligned? Or you haven't been stimulating enough to hang out with past quick flings? You'll have to be more specific.

It sounds like a therapist would be wise yes. Getting into a relationship and chasing girls at this moment wouldn't be a wise thing. Having such insecurities and low self-esteem will likely sabotage any relationship you get yourself into. Having a girlfriend won't magically solve your problems either. People think having a partner cures so many things but it doesn't, that's a trap. Deleting phone contacts, distancing yourself, and doing drugs are forms of escapism. This doesn't help deal with your feelings, it only exacerbates them. Consider engaging more with life and people even when you don't feel like it emotionally or have the energy. This will actually boost your self-esteem, you'll find people are way more easy going and accepting than your brain is telling you. Of course being lonely and doing a complete 180 to an extroverted party lover won't be authentic or even possible. So you need to learn to love your solitude while you have it. Find things you really enjoy doing and that are worth your time, stuff that occupies your mind so you aren't stewing in your negative emotions. Hope this helps - Roy

Certainly as one becomes more conscious they start to identify with other creatures and become aware of their suffering. It seems to be a statistical trend that as people become more "conscious" they drop eating meat. However in the absolute sense there is nothing truly wrong with eating meat, it's all just moralizations. Personally I was vegetarian for 5 years but started adding fish back into my diet for personal goals. I just can't support unsustainable or cruel practices and refuse to give them money, which is what they want. I knew what was going on for most of my life but once I became truly aware, it all just clicked one day and I stopped cold. I couldn't consciously rationalize supporting such industries with my wallet anymore, they won't get a dollar from me ever again.

The explanation for why there is so much mindless debate and hostility in politics these days is pretty simple. Technology has ruined our attention spans. Most people can't be bothered nor care enough to sit and listen and discuss specific policies or nuanced POV. Not to mention most of the "discussion" takes place on public platforms like youtube, media, or tv where people are trying to score points with the eyes watching. People hear one point or policy from another person, and because they are intellectually lazy and have no attention span, they just automatically classify them in their head broadly as a "liberal" or "alt-right", and assume they hold a bunch of other positions based on that caricature. Of course people are much more complicated than that. For example I've got policy views and attitudes that swing all over the place. From supporting universal health-care to the death penalty. I can't even think of a word for myself lol. Obviously this sort of political clashing is nothing new. It's just that modern technology and media has served as the perfect nesting ground for it. Everyone gets to pile up their own ideological mole hill and then gets everyone who thinks the same to come over and hands them a shovel. The ultimate circle-jerk.

Are each of those clinically diagnosed or are you just perpetuating it because it's in the family history? Not trying to be dick you just aren't 100% explicit in your post. Be careful not to hold onto them as an identity because it's possible it's kept you stuck in a victim mindset all this time. Unless either of those are seriously debilitating your day to day life they might be just manifesting as excuses not to do the work to find real love. Which it's never too late for. Start by dropping the label of "lonely disabled virgin". It only exists because you are saying it and letting it happen. As far as love making with an actual romantic partner it's amazing regardless of age, no other sex really compares to it. Part of the problem is your mentality towards it. Just buy wording it as "something to check off on the bucket list" you subconsciously delegate it to being some kind of chore or "thing you have to do". Be enamored at the possibility or finding and creating that situation for yourself! It could be a reality for you sooner than you think if you just let go of all the bullshit you've built up.

15 years isn't a super uncommon age gap, but it's usually between people who are WAY older. Like a 32 year old and 47 year old, or a 44 year old and 59 year old. When it's someone as you young as you, the power, wealth, and maturity dynamics are too mismatched that the relationship would even work in the long run. Too much imbalance. There is also the factor that she is a friend of your moms, which is something that could blow up in your face and hurt your moms friendship with her friend if she found out. Don't let that happen if it doesn't need to. Now yea you might catch feelings if you let things continue, and there are already problems that could happen like I mentioned above. As harsh as this may seem, it's entirely possible you are just a young fuck thing for her. Something to bring "excitement" to her life sexually. You want to risk catching feelings and getting your heart ripped out in such a humiliating way? Up to you ultimately. You make your own choices, just know you are treading in dangerous waters mate.

Listen to this short speech and tell me if what he has said is honestly dangerous and worth suppressing? TED Talk seems to think so. Goes to show you why you should pay more attention to ones actions, rather than what they say. You will always gauge intentions more accurately that way. "Talk is cheap" as they say. Academia boast about how open minded they are..... then proceed to ban a speech about inquiry. Perfect example of paradigm lock.

@Leo Gura Isn't it being turned on and off in the relative sense of being (literally) awake/asleep and then eventually in the ultimate sense alive/dead? Is the misunderstanding making the distinction between the consciousness of humans/living things and the Consciousness of the Universe/God? A duality that of course has to collapse in the big picture.

@Leo Gura I don't get the condescension. The guy said he was a maverick and is looking for more obscure theories within quantum mechanics to help understand the problem. Even if it's under the umbrella of science we would all still prefer to have that part of the puzzle contribute to our understanding regardless if it's perfectly complete, no? You can't predict the future of course, so why so much, "science will never be able to solve consciousness because X" attitude going around? Would you have the humility to admit that a radical scientific breakthrough in explaining consciousness (that possibly included meta-physics) might make you change or reconsider your own current understanding? Could there be anything that might make you go, "oh fuck, maybe I got too ahead of myself." This isn't to say, "go back to choosing between a purely physical or purely meta-physical view", but rather to add it in to the holistic explanation. I'm not a materialist btw, before you go off your rocker about that.

I didn't get your PM @The Monk

First of all you can't truly your control your physical response to stuff, especially sexual responses. If you get a boner, you get one, it just happens. Of course there is the shame of what exactly you got the arousal from but at least now you can take a step back for a moment to calm yourself realizing it wasn't your fault. The fact you didn't indulge it and are self-aware enough to come out quickly and speak about what happened publicly should give you a pretty good indicator that you're not a pedophile. So don't panic or beat yourself up too much. Let's just worry about the important part which is asking why this happened, discover seeing what conditions might have caused this to happen, and if we have any control over changing the conditions for the future. You did mention you were watching porn before hand and there were similar positions involved, which could have been a contributor. But can you remember what kind of headspace, or specific emotions and thoughts you were having before you came across this image? Be as detailed as you can here, it's important because we might be able to pinpoint what triggered or led up to this and understand it's root better. Feel free to PM me if you wish to keep it private.

Going to start this challenge tomorrow and I'll update notable changes as I go along, I don't expect to be able nor intend to do a COMPLETE abandonment of coffee. Just want to kick it as a habit and relegate it to like a once or twice a month treat with flavored specialty coffees or whatever. Also not happy with what it's done to my teeth. I've always had it with so much sugar. It just makes me feel like shit now honestly. Been drinking coffee since April 2011 in my last year of high school, originally started because I wanted to kill mornings in high school and have something to do with my hands while hanging out in the smoking trail haha. I've been kind reliant on it either as a placebo or actual kick in the mornings for so long, because I've always had the identity of not being a "morning person". Thanks for the motivation @LfcCharlie4 I've watched Alex Becker's couple of videos on coffee a bit ago. The way he presents things seems pretty reasonable and resonates with me. I still don't really know what to trust considering there is soooo much conflicting evidence out there, I'm just going to change my habit regardless of perceptions.

So I was thinking about self-deception lately, as well as manipulation, deception, lying, using "masks" and so forth. Just trying to get more understanding of why people do the things they do, and the mechanisms of how they interact with the world. Then it dawned on me....... Literally the thing that society (contemporary Western society mostly) values and worships the most on the cultural level is a deception in it's purest form; ACTING Think about it. Where is most of the money, time, energy and focus spent upon in media and entertainment? Movies, celebrities, & Hollywood. Of course it's shifted somewhat with the internet but it's hard to argue that Hollywood isn't the center of the cultural pyramid. A massive industry and cultural center which absorbs endless attention and praise. Actors and actresses get chased around and harassed their entire lives, every little detail sold and shared ruthlessly. They even get looked to for leadership on almost every issue LOL! They are sometimes even treated as living deities. All because of their ability to deceive others. Of course you may be thinking, "Well yeah it's just acting though, it's so benign. It's not real." Perhaps, but I feel as though it's much deeper than that. It can't be just a coincidence that something seemingly so harmless and practically useless in the real world sense ended up becoming such a behemoth that domineers so much attention and respect within the collective psyche of so many peoples lives. Does it not speak to the subconscious of humanity that our most worshiped in society are those that practice pure deception as an art? Is there something deeper here or am I just a rambling crazy person with a shovel?

Certainly be open to try different things for weeks and months at a time and see how it makes you feel! It's really important to get in touch and finely pay attention to your body during this process to see what you need. Check in to see how you feel during each meal, and ultimately after each kind of diet. You want to find a balance between having consistent energy and health day to day, and also being in line with your spirituality. A good question to come back to a lot and consider is "am I in balance with the world?" A huge thing to be looking out for is not getting get caught up in the giant projection game and ideologies of diets and nutrition. It will waste countless emotions and time, and is massive trap that unfortunately almost everyone is caught up in. People go insane over this stuff, making conclusions before finding evidence, and manufacturing zealous worldviews that they try to force on others. Don't participate in that. This is your body to take care of, that should be your only concern. @Aquarius

That's a rather high standard don't you think ?