aurum

It does...and it doesn't. Here's a fact for you: if you're having sex with a girl, she probably has talked about your dick with her friends. I know girls who claimed to have cheated because she didn't like something about the size of her man's dick. So let's not ignore this reality. But here's the otherside of the argument: women have much deeper needs than simply "penis size". And if you can meet those needs, you can make your size largely irrelevant. As a man, your job is just to own whatever you got. It's way more important to her that she sees that you're comfortable. You got a small dick? Small dicks are awesome, dicks that are too big hurt. You got a big dick? Big dicks are awesome, girls can't even feel that small shit.

I don't at all see more men than women seeking enlightenment. Strip away the layers of delusion and everyone is seeking the same thing. We may just go about it in very different ways.

What affirmations / visualizations are you using? What were you working that you were putting in these kinds of hours? What's the difference between then and now?

What "actually" happens? Who knows. Some people say it causes your RAS to zero in on the correct solutions to your problems, thus your inner world comes to reflect your outer. Others would say your a divine being capable of creating any reality you choose. It doesn't really matter how it truly works. These are all just different models for a certain phenomenon. Pick whatever one you resonate with. You basically have two types of motivations: egoic motivations and authentic motivations. You never don't have enough motivation, laziness does not exist. You only can block motivation by being at war with yourself. End the war with conflicting desires and motivation flows freely. And you're not going to find any. What exactly kind of proof would satisfy you that affirmations work?

All good. Let me guess, you were a fan of RSD. That's your choice if you wish to do so. My guess though is that's not going to happen. And did you figure all this out by getting struck by lightening or being psychotic? Or was it a very natural, intelligent process? Do you think you're crazy? You're railing against it because you're not enlightened. You're actually seeing where this could go, and it's scaring you. That's good. But don't think that means you aren't still accepting things on faith. Maybe. So then why are you here? You seem awful emotionally invested in something that's entertainment. If it's all the same, why did McKenna write a book? Why teach at all?

Got it. Everyone seems to agree that's the way to go. Thanks!

This is awesome. Keep up the reports man. I am terrified / so excited to try this stuff. One question I would ask: do you feel it was worth it to start at the lighter dose? Or is it better to just jump in at something higher?

Yup, right on track. Trust me, I'm right here with you. I know exactly the parts you're talking about and have read the Trilogy forwards and backwards several times. He is my favorite teacher on the subject. But why do you think McKenna wrote that from his perspective? Take a breathe and REALLY think about. Could there be some subtle nuance you're not picking up on? Let me throw you another quote from McKenna: "He has traded everything for nothing and made a good deal" - Theory of Everything Could it be that McKenna, seeing how much modern ego has been tied up in the process in enlightenment, set out to write a book destroying all those illusions? Could it be that McKenna didn't want to contribute to that whole egoic rat race? And yet, he doesn't regret his own experience. No one who is Enlightened does. In fact, he also says he would die rather than live the egoic life we are all living. What does that say about our present state? Why does he say in the second book that Ahab, sensing his freedom, would be mad with happiness? Why is Julie happier than shes ever been towards the end? What does she find that McKenna didn't want to mention? You HAVE to look at the subtle nuances of what these people are saying. Why is meaninglessness depressing? Could that just be your own interpretation? Maybe there's ANOTHER perspective. And how do you know that's always true? Do you think there could ever be exceptions? Why or why not? McKenna himself says at the end of Damndest that his only real essential teaching is: think for yourself. Are you doing that right now? Or have you just bought into McKenna much in the same way a religious person buys into a holy book? Keep in mind this is all very good. But don't stop here.

@Elzhi This is a very common response to people who find out about McKenna, including myself. Keep going. Isn't it rather convenient that you've suddenly concluded that you should "just enjoy your life" after finding out about the costs of Enlightenment? Could that be a ego-defense mechanism in disguise? It's true that enlightenment from an egoic standpoint can be a living hell, but ironically maybe satisfying ego desires isn't what is going to make you live a high quality life.

You're welcome. Good luck!

Dude you're not like some robot just because you have a dick. You have emotions, and you definitely can get attached. If you don't have emotions, I'm actually kind of afraid.

Love is a deceptive word. Let's just say "emotional attachment".

I'd recommend further boundaries, i.e being either ONLY friends or ONLY someone you consistently have sex with. It's just not worth mixing the two in my opinion.

Key distinction for me is "does the reward come in the present or in the future"? In other words, are you doing because it's like play or because it's some sort of means to an end? You have to be careful though, because every career or life purpose is going to have some of both. For instance, you might like playing music but also are interested in monetary rewards. Or you might like playing music, but hate setting up your band equipment for a show. The point is just to get it generally right, not perfect. Really just look for things you're interested in. It sounds cheesy, but if you were a kid with 0 obligations, what would you do right now? I'd be doing this.

Sounds like you're gaining awareness. Cool stuff

You're friends that also fuck each other. I've been in this situation before and don't recommend it. A lot of times either someone starts getting feelings or the friendship becomes awkward. I have pulled it off, but it's really just not worth the hassle. Much better is just to draw the line in the sand. Either you're platonic friends, fuck buddies having sex purely for fun, or you're moving towards a relationship. It's a tough boundary to draw, but you're better off in the end for making the hard call.

Are you mad that you need to eat and sleep as well? Seems like such a waste of time. Do you know for sure that you need to make money first? Do you know for sure that spending time saving money wouldn't be beneficial? Where is this anger coming from? What is at the root of it? Trying asking these questions instead.

Most of the time I have no interest in talking about enlightenment and spirituality. If someone has their beliefs, let them have their beliefs. I'm not going to hit them over the head and tell them "you must awaken!", as if I'm on some sort of crusade. But in other circumstances it's very different. For instance, one of my friends the other day who has been looking into Zen called me to ask me questions about it. It was obvious that he was taking it very seriously, so for him I did my best to answers all his questions. Same thing on this forum and my own blog. If I feel like someone is genuinely ready, then I'll spill my guts for them. Otherwise I'm mostly going to stay quiet.

Or maybe you're not a person at all Your spiritual teacher is right. In the end, any conceptualization you use to try and understand yourself will fail. It will need to be discarded, and in that sense, psychology will not help you. But neither will any other subject, including studying enlightenment itself. However, I wouldn't say that studying psychology is useless. There is life outside of the enlightenment journey, and if psychology is something that feels right to you, go for it. Beyond that, certain psychological concepts can be useful along the enlightenment journey to study and understand. So I don't see why you shouldn't pursue it unless you really don't want to.

Any mainstream narrative has to be scalable to the masses. Imagine that tomorrow CNN came out and revealed the magic of 5-Me0 DMT, suggesting everyone should take it. What would happen? Chaos. You'd have people overdosing, parents freaking out that their kids that are going to start doing drugs, people not showing up to work because they've seen God and freaked out, people questioning their religious and scientific beliefs, people breaking the law to order drugs (5-Me0 is illegal in the USA), etc. All sorts of misuse and unintented side-effects would occur. It would be insanity. Suddenly CNN is to blame. You're the president of CNN. Are you still going to print that story? No way. It's not a scalable idea because it's too nuanced. You can't just blindly tell people to go take 5-Me0. There's a proper context with which is must be taken. Why do you think Leo withheld the name of the drug before he released the video detailing the nuances and safety preconditions? Because he knows that with his level of influence, if he isn't careful, he could really fuck up people's lives. Now realize that Leo's audience on YouTube isn't even close to the size of a mainstream media outlet like CNN. And the average person watching CNN is probably way more unconscious than a person who closely follows Leo. The result is that all the best shit tends to remain slightly out of the eyes of the mainstream. And it probably will be that way for a long time. Whenever it does, there always is a clash. This is where the idea of "controversy" comes from. The internet is incredible because it allows these ideas to spread for those we have the desire to find it. You can't sweep it under the rug anymore because everyone has a voice. And it someone finds some cool shit like 5-Me0, word is going to get around.

Similar for sure. You can find a lot of flaws with RSD, but one thing I always respected about them was their ability to actually create results in people's lives. They've managed to convince thousands of angry, depressed 20 something year-old guys who just want to get laid that they should be doing high conscious behaviors like meditation, offering value to people, being non-judgmental, etc. How many teachers, family members and institutions probably tried to impart the same lessons on those guys and failed? Why? Because no one cares dude. A guy who is lonely is just lonely, he doesn't give a shit about your high consciousness motivations, moralizations or even the belief that he should be happy. Tie it to something low consciousness, like that he can get back at his ex-girlfriend, and suddenly things take off. Will it work for everyone? No, definitely not. I'm sure there's some guys who get stuck in the low consciousness tail-chase. But it's a lot better than the alternative.

It's true that Enlightenment experiences do not make you enlightened because true enlightenment is not an experience. It's more like a continual state of being in the world. The point of these experiences I see is that they have the potential to inspire you and alter the ego in very positive ways. You won't be enlightened, but you'll have glimpsed the true nature of reality, which is pretty cool too Also, from what Leo has said, it's possible that enough of these experiences can eventually lead to a full, permanent surrender of the ego. I have no idea if that's true, but it certainly seems plausible.

This is a great video. A point of contention I have: If someone is in low consciousness, trying to tell them that they need to transcend low consciousness is just going to go over their head. They don't have the awareness / experience to see the importance of this. So rather than telling people "you need to become more conscious! All these 'petty' egoic desires you have, they're stupid and you're stupid. Just move past all that", why not work WITH the ego? I'm for giving people want they want. If some guy wants to go become a player because he thinks sex with random stranger will make him happy, he should go do that. Don't tell him to go meditate, he's not going to listen to you anyway. Instead, show him how mediation will HELP him become a badass player. And incredibly, you actually can make an argument for this. Mediation puts you in a present state where you can be that attractive self that women love. Beyond that, you know what the best way to transcend craving hallow, random sex is? Having shallow, random sex. Is that so unbelievable? That's how you get awareness and real understanding. You can see it in real life how these things are effecting you. Why do we assume that the only solution is to sit and do visualizations/contemplation? Why can't it be both? It's similar to when Leo made his video detailing the benefits of Enlightenment. The point of that video was to get the ego on board with enlightenment, even though there's no benefits to the ego in enlightenment. Why not do the same thing with high consciousness work? Why not admit that people in low consciousness mostly only understand the language of low consciousness?

Your brain has a characteristic called neuroplasticity. Basically, it means that you can wire/unwire you brain for most activities that you perform. When you learn a skill and then don't practice it for years and forget it, those are both possible because of this neuroplasticity. Porn seems the be the same way. When you watch porn, you are wiring your brain to watch porn. You start associating it with jerking off and even come to expect it. Basically, you start forming a porn habit the same way you form any other habit. I know a lot of guys who apparently really struggle when having sex because built such a porn habit. They either can't get hard, can't stay hard, don't enjoy sex or can't finish all because they are so used to porn. Personally that's just not the kind of life I want. I've found that real relationships and sex with real people is far better, even if it's not as much of an insane dopamine rush as porn. So I don't watch it. Some people also claim that porn throws off their motivation to pursue goals in real life. I don't know how true this is, I've also been pretty motivated even when I watched porn. But there's tons of anecdotal evidence to support it. So I'd suggest trying a porn cleanse and seeing first hand how you respond to it.

No. Meditation is a habit that you'll probably be doing for years. One day won't matter much in the gram scheme. That being said, there's something to be said for momentum. I've found that if I rationalize not meditating one day, you'll tend to miss more. And then the next thing you know, it's been weeks or even months and you haven't done any meditation. So just keep that in mind.