aurum

I definitely agree with you, that’s the ultimate version of what game should look like. But consider that: a) what you’ve done in the past that may have seemed authentic hasn’t worked b) any personal growth is going to require change. If you’re not changing, you’re not growing. c) any new action is going to feel clunky and inauthentic at first So I’ll ask you. What are some specific things that you found inauthentic or distasteful about game?

Here’s an imperfect analogy. Let’s say you’re trying to learn sales. So I hand you all the best training material I can find on how to sell. Guys who have been getting consistent results for years and years. But when I try to give it to you, you say “I don’t want learn from them. They’re objectifying the customer!”. Now because of your bias, you cut yourself off from learning. That’s you with pickup. The fact that you only want to learn game if its taught in the way YOU think it should be, shows you’re not truly ready to recieve yet. Because if you were, you’d follow truth wherever it lead. Here’s an controversial but undeniable fact: anyone who is looking to produce a tangible result in their life you should be willing to look at how the most low consciousness, manipulative people achieve it and understand why it works. Some of my best lessons early on in game came from friends of mine who were complete degenerates but knew how to get laid. Only because I didn’t judge it was I able to recieve those. If it’s sales, you should be able to understand why the hustler on the corner is able to consisteny swindle relatively smart people out of $50 in a game of dice. What I love is that once you understand it, you can rise above it. There’s many things certain puas do that I don’t indulge in. But when you’re learning, you don’t get to moralize and decide how pickup should or shouldn’t work. I don’t mean this as a personal attack. I went through the same thing. My intention is purely to make you aware of some internal blocks I’m percieving off you that are keeping you from where you want to go.

No one is telling you to just stop believing it. That's impossible. What we're trying to do is explain to you that there's another paradigm. Another way of viewing the world. No, what you need is to GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD. If you don't do meditation, you need to now. You're not god damn robot. Your challenge is to go do something in the next 72 hours that will bring you to tears of joy. I don't care how you do it, just do it.

@TeamBills I've never done a retreat, but I've spent a lot of time doing sports like snowboarding in those temperatures. Slow, deep breathing. Move your body. Spend sometime coming up to the retreat accumulating to those temperatures before you go. And bring a good immune support supplement because your body is going to be taxed. Other than that, grit your teeth and just do it.

@Ether Thinking has a role. So if your goal is to never think again, I'd reconsider. Instead, shoot to eliminate the 80% of thinking which is basically useless conditioning just on repeat. The more you meditate the more present you'll become overtime.

@egoless I don't endorse objectifying women, but the fact that you even asked that question shows me your mind is not in the right place. You're not going to have success in this area until you let go of your judgments of how it should be done.

@heisenburger So glad you shared this, I'm a huge believer in conscious emotional control exercises like these. Take the time out of your day to get your mind right.

@Ether No. I never even think about enlightenment anymore. That's not to say I'm not doing spiritual work. I just don't care if I ever reach this magical "enlightenment" point. I don't even care if it exists. What excites me is just getting better every day. Any mental energy I used to spend speculating about what enlightenment is like or if I was enlightened yet just seems like noise now.

You're in for an experience The retreat I did was critical for me. No, it wasn't some magic pill that solved all my problems. But here's what it did do: - Crucial insights into my life - Some of the deepest meditations I've ever had - Supercharged my meditation practice when I came home This is speculation, but also I believe something energetic happened to me on that retreat as well. That was the first time I started getting these buzzing sensations running up the back of my neck. They haven't gone away since. It's super low key, no one is going to beat you with sticks if you can't meditate 12 hours a day. Really the only thing you've got to stress about is how you're doing to deal with all the boredom and leg / back pain.

@RossE That's a big question. To simplify, I'd say part of it comes from suffering. As much as I don't wish it on anyone, suffering does have this capacity to strip away everything that doesn't really matter and show you what you actually care about. Another part of it is my choice of influences. I constantly surround myself with passionate people and it rubs off. But really, I would say that you get to a point in this work where you just can't help it. How do you have the enthusiasm to eat? You just do.

@RossE What I found during my own process was that awakening often creates these intense emotional high and lows. And in the initial stages, mostly lows. I was leaving behind old beliefs that gave me comfort. Questioning everything about who I was and what is meaningful. Repressed emotions coming to the surface. It's brutal and it can feel like you're being pounded in the ground by life repeatedly. But make no mistake, it's a phase. You're going to snap out of this and wonder why the hell you were ever depressed. And when you may go back to being depressed and wonder why the hell you were ever happy. Back and forth, back and forth. That's emotions for you. But each time, you'll be waking up more and more. So stick with it. Keep meditating and consider finding a real life mentor who you can meet with regularly to talk about this.

@Marinus Good, you've learned a lesson that being some creepy, needy guy in the friendzone doesn't work. You're not going to do that again. But you still have to get a girlfriend, so that means you have to do something different. What do you think that should be?

@spicy_pickles Two questions. No right answers, I just want to see where you're at. 1) How often do you have sex? 2) How committed are you to making this relationship last?

@Hardkill It's not that some of your observations aren't accurate. It's just that it doesn't matter. Really ask yourself this: if you had an amazing sex life or the perfect girlfriend right now, would you still give a shit? The answer is no. Also notice how your mind is also conveniently leaving out details, like the fact that girls have tons of their own issues with getting a great boyfriend / husband. Or that maybe this is actually a beautiful blessing because it's a chance to grow yourself. You don't see that because that it would ruin your victim story. What are you actually afraid of?

@Marco_the_Ape There's a ton of different angles I could hit on for this question. But I'll keep it simple and stick to just one. Say hello to the first stranger you see when you go out. It doesn't matter who it is or what you say, just break that invisible contact barrior. Then from there, just keep building it. Keep talking to more people. Take the pressure off to say the right thing and just say something. And don't stop. It's like warming up for a sport. You don't just start slam dunking. Stretch first. Most people solve that problem by pregaming with a bunch of their friends and getting drunk. It's the same end goal, just a different strategy. But the benefit of doing it this way is that you don't have to posion your body.

Yup that's extremely common. Something else that can help in that case is swapping that cup of coffee with a different habit, like a glass of water. Keep everything else the same, just put water in your coffee mug instead of coffee. You're welcome

@gilbert Meetup threads are a no-go. I'm going to lock this.

@Charlotte Congrats on your successes so far. As far as coffee, find ways to crank your energy naturally. Deep breathing, meditation, eating healthy, exercise / physical movement are all great places to start. Then if you want, after that you can go REALLY deep down the energy rabbit role.

@rush From one perspective, there's nothing "necessary" to be happy. Meditation teaches you that very quickly, since you get to a point where you can love just sitting in presence and nothing else. So no, you don't "have" to leave your 9-5 job in order to happy. But here's the thing. I'm slightly misleading you by saying that because the truth is more complex. What I've found is that people who ignore the element of life purpose really regret it and become bitter. It becomes this repressed energy that always, always wants to come out but can't. They've limited themselves out of fear. Some also say our soul's choose the purpose we want before we are even born, so we have to honor that. Regardless of why it happens, it happens. So here's the question you have to ask: is my life purpose a 9-5? For some people, it actually might be. It's not our job to judge other people's purpose and say "it should look like mine or it's not valid". That's a limited perspective based on the idea that everyone should be the same and that there's a right way to experience life. But if your purpose isn't a 9-5, you'll know. Stop kidding yourself. You've always know that's not what you're meant to do. And if you're on this forum, it's highly likely you fit in that category.

@Spiral Foreplay is AMAZING when you do it right. The best analogy I ever heard about foreplay is that it's like the build up to a movie premier. They tease you with trailers, have interviews with the stars, make you wait in line and all this other shit. Just to build the tension and get you excited. Sex is the same way. Average guy: I want to have sex. Logic therefore dictates that I should quickly and efficiently as possible put my dick inside her. Boringggggg. The right way is to use foreplay to build the tension. Your dick is Star Wars and she should be salivating by the time you put it in. How do you do that? Use takeaways. Bite her on the neck and then tell her you're not going to have sex. Rub your dick on the outside of her pussy and then pull away. Make her beg for it. When you do, not only are you going to have a better time, she'll love you for it. What's crazy though is that nothing I'm describing is that hard to do. It's just that most guys would never want to admit that they could be better at sex, so they don't invest the small amount of time to learn this.

Damn, you put her in her place . For real though, you gotta lighten up a bit. You're still locked into the rational, logical mind. Prescription: go watch some standup comedy, have fun with some friends, have some crazy sex and keeping meditating.

@AleksM Agreed. The deeper I go in this work, the more I see things on an energetic level. It's a complete paradigm shift. For anyone who isn't looking at ideas like the Law of Attraction or energy work, you are potentially doing yourself a massive disservice.

But you can't grab their pinky over the internet! Your plan has been foiled.

When done in the proper way, I really like this. Eckhart Tolle talks all the time about the power of being able to truly laugh at the absurdity of our condition. It detaches you from seeing those thoughts as true and instead allows you to see them for noise that they are. Laughter = acceptance. Ego = resistance. The key would be making sure you don't make this into a form of self-attack.

@stevegan928 Here's a better question. How would you ever know if a forum member was enlightened?