aurum

That's great, but do you desire absolute truth? If what you want is to be a better person, you're missing the point of enlightenment work. That's a by product of honest inquiry/contemplation.

I've found it happens pretty naturally. It has to be a genuine release, you can't force it.

From my experience with Enlightenment work so far, fear means you're on the right track. If the ego isn't afraid, it hasn't really started sensing that it's at risk of being unmasked. So keep going. An awakening experience is great, but it's usually not the end.

Alcohol was an issue for me. If weed has social value for you, I'd suggest chaning peer groups to whatever degree you can. It's not a perfect solution but it will give you space to do inner work.

And maybe you're actually the reincarnation of the Buddha and Enlightenment is your destiny. Or maybe you'll just get hit by a bus tomorrow and none of this will matter. Skepticism is good. But it's no reason to throw rationality out the window.

It's not that complex. I meditate, eat breakfast and then do some writing. After that the day is up in the air. Personally, I don't like serious scheduling. Not nuanced enough of a way to live for me.

You're right...but also wrong. No, your egoic lower self has no interest in Enlightenment. There's nothing in it for the ego. But you're not actually the ego. So your authentic / higher self often has other plans. I've had an initial awakening experience, but I'm not what people would call Enlightened. I can tell you what drove me was a deep desire for TRUTH. I've NEVER been the type of person that could stand not knowing the truth if there was an answer out there. I was the kid that spent his Christmas Eve trying to figure out a way to catch Santa Claus to prove his existence. So when I realized that Enlightenment meant Truth Realization, I was all in. It was incredibly hard and I'm not done yet, but I feel like I don't have a choice. It just sucks me back in if I try and leave.

Enlightenment is personal development, only you realize you weren't ever really developing yourself

The present moment is always available and nothing is mundane. Relax. You're searching for a sense of control, but things unfold perfectly as they should.

It's one of those paradoxes in the Enlightenment game that's not really reconcilable via rationality. To say that Nothingness is self-aware would be to attribute some sort of quality to it, in this case awareness. So no, Nothingness is not self-aware. That implies a "thing" that's doing something. At the same time, Enlightened people would tell you that Nothingness is self-aware. And I'm guessing that's because that's really just the best way you can understand it with your mind. Anyway, it's not really that important. This is not about learning, it's about un-learning. These kind of questions will reconcile when the time comes.

How many people did you meet who were Enlightened? I also took a 10-day course, and everyone there hand-waved the entire notion of Enlightenment away, saying that it's an incredible long path that will easily take at least 30-40 years,. No, it's really not. If you actually want to wake up and destroy the entire universe, then forget about Vipassana. Just another trap. So figure out what you want.

"Sit down, shut up, and ask yourself what's true, until you know." -Jed McKenna

The biggest thing I've found is just keeping your intention in mind for Truth and following that same intuition that lead you to find out about Enlightenment in the first place. There is no set path to Truth.

That's crazy. Any tips for how to practice?

It doesn't matter if you want to be a player or get married. The best relationship comes from being in abundance first. How else can you find a girl you really click with unless you try out a bunch of people? 27 is not old man. You're not even close to your prime, assuming you've been working on yourself for some time.

Do you find it a bit strange that as soon as you run into some emotional trouble and your ego is challenged, suddenly RSD are a bunch crooks and you're "too decent" to do that slimy, disgusting, evil pickup stuff? Because It couldn't be possible to do pickup in a way that doesn't involve taking advantage of overly drunk girls, right?

I run a business and a blog, both which are relatively new. Neither is making enough money at the moment to pay the bills so I'm hustling pretty hard. I have some savings and a part time job but it's certainly not ideal. I don't always worry about money but I definitely have in the past. For instance, when I went to graduate school I used to stress that I wouldn't have enough money for school. But then I managed to get a position in the department that paid for the whole thing. So that helped

These things don't contradict each other. If you have the leverage to go out and practice your social skills, good. Do that. You probably only got that leverage by being very aware of the pain being lonely and an introvert has caused you. Most people would deny that.

-Before the panic attacks, it was usually money or just a general sense of being overwhelmed with things I have to get done. -Yes it feels like at the moment every thing is pointless. Very surreal, it's not a state I find myself in often -Yes I do. Although it can definitely be tough when it's actually happening -Yes. I lived for almost a whole year by myself. I've also done backpacking trips alone

I definitely don't like the idea of being alone for a long period of time. I want to be at least around people. Both times it happened I felt stressed out first for a while before the actual panic attack happened. But as far as I can tell, the thoughts were very different. Only the emotions seemed the same During the panic attack, I usually feel a sense of fear. My heart rate increases and I get very cold. Start to feel depressed and like everything I'm doing is pointless. Literally feels like my mind is sick. Start to feel normal again usually when I either do some meditation, take and shower and maybe hangout with some friends. Or do some other activity to take my mind off of it. Thanks for asking

You may be right, it could definitely just be placebo. I've wondered the same thing. At the moment we're unsure of what is causing them. They are a new development for me. He thinks it may have something to do with abandonment issues from my father because they seem to be trigger by me being alone. But it's just a working hypothesis.

Go to a Meditation Retreat (will be crossed off in August!) Read War and Peace and other literary giants Raise my consciousness as high as possible Threesome Write a best selling book Have a multi million dollar business Have a popular blog Go to Mardi Gras Go to Carnival Go to Burning Man Backpack Europe/Asia Record a music album Get a black belt in some martial arts Become a public speaker Live in a Mansion in Miami Love and help others Do deadliest catch style fishing Be Happy. Be Present

NoFap is an interesting one for me. I still can't be sure if it's effects are real or placebo but all I know is that when I used to watch porn, I had way more issues in my life. Cut out porn, suddenly many issues seemed to resolve themselves. My advice to you is: 1) Have a larger purpose to why you want to quit. Don't think you can just willpower your way through it. You need a strong REASON which is give you effortless willpower 2) Don't give an inch. You're dealing with a deadly game of rationalizations, and if you gave an inch (I'll just watch this youtube video, it's not porn!) suddenly you're relapsing. 3) Have shit to do. This ties into advice number 1 but have other things to do but sit around on the computer all day. Don't even give yourself the opportunity to relapse. 4) Become conscious of what porn is doing to , I had to see all the fucked up ways it was hurting my life in a very real way in order to get the leverage to stop.

I really just think of life purpose as doing whatever the fuck you want to do when you strip away all the social conditioning bullshit. Maybe for you that's to build a huge business that puts 5 million in your bank account. I don't know. But whatever it is, just do it.

You can, you just may have to get more creative with your use of time. What are you willing to give up in order to maintain these habits?