aurum

Can you give an example?

You might not. Self-actualization is in many ways a luxury. So I would say take care of yourself first if something like that happens.

I would challenge this belief. If you get Audible, you could be listening to an audiobook at minimum 10 minutes a day while you're driving, making food or whatever other trivial tasks you have. Most books are ~6 hours, you could finish one a month at that pace. That's 12 a year. That alone could change your life. No excuses not be to be getting the correct knowledge.

This one is no joke. See if you can do this 31 minutes a day for 40 days.

@Gligorije Are you meditating and doing yoga every day? If not, there's your answer.

No. If this is going to have any chance of succeeding, you need to pull wayyy back and get back in touch with your own path as a man. It still may not be enough. But the good news is it won't matter at that point.

Do you meditate? You can have whatever level of success you want with women if you put the work in. Baldness is not going to be the thing that ultimately makes a difference.

Yes, find a new girl. And while you're at it, examine deeply why you need one in the first place.

I mean start a podcast, YouTube channel, Instagram, blog or whatever else strikes you. If you don’t feel ready for that, no problem. Build soft skills in that area like video editing, photography or even writing.

@Robert I’ll let him decide whether or not he’s ready. There are plenty of teenages producing amazing content, and the fact that he’s even on this forum is a good sign. No better way to learn than to try.

Then I question how much of this list you are actually doing. Or it could just be the drugs.

@Ether If the anti-depressants are helping you right now, I'm not going to tell you to stop. But at some point you're going to want to consider dropping them. Other possible techniques for more energy: -Meditation -Yoga -Gym -Nutrition -Proper breathing -Sauna / Cold showers -Nature

@Stoica Doru I love music personally, it feels like it speaks straight to my soul. You might want to search something on YouTube called Solfeggio Frequencies if you haven't already. Try them out and see what happens.

@Gligorije Producing content via social media. Unless the world explodes in the next 15 years, that will be useful.

@Shin I think there's much better qualifications you can use to determine whether you should be in a relationship with a girl than Myers Brigg. That's not going to tell you very much. Examples of questions I'd consider much more important: 1) How does she treat her friends? 2) How does she talk about her ex? 3) What is her family life like? 4) What are her goals, if any? 5) What does she do for fun? Not saying you can't also look into Myers Brigg. I would just make sure you dig deeper than that.

@Santiago You gotta get out of there man. Lots and lots of red flags in this one.

That's just not true. There are some relationships like that, but it definitely does not have to be that way. If it's a long-term relationship, yes that can be fine. You don't need to become some sort of robot.

When I talk about authentic emotional communication, that's for a long-term relationship where you and her are going to build a life together. That's very different from a one night stand or temporary fuck buddy. I understand exactly what you're talking about. It seems like the guys who often put in the least amount of effort get all the girls, while the guys who care the most get nothing. So women must be emotionally shallow, right? No. I'm going to tell you some of the realist shit ever. As I continue to evolve paradigms and improve my own skills with women, it becomes more and more obvious to me just how badly guys suck at Game. This sounds like something a whiteknight would say but its not. The vast majority of guys are creepy and needy as fuck, "nice guys" included. Imagine you meet a guy who has $10,000,000. Wow that's a lot of money, you want some of that! But how can you get it? Well, you realize if you just ask for it, you assume he will say "no". Plus that's too scary. So you come up with a plan: how about I pretend to be this guy's friend for a couple of years and act like I'm not just here for the money! You'll be his shoulder to cry on and then he's bound to give you the money. Time goes on and he's not giving you the money. What's worse, you notice the whole time that he's doing all these "business deals" with other millionaires and making them lots of money! What a dick. One day you get tired of waiting and tell him "I want a million dollars". Our millionaire friend is confused by this seemingly change of heart and saddened, wondering if someone will ever genuinely want to be friends with him without going after his money. When he says "no" for obvious reasons, you get angry, call him a business slut and make a post online ranting about why millionaires only give money to people who they do business with. I'm not saying this is you, but replace "millionaire" with "girl" the majority of what I see "nice guys" doing. What you call emotionally shallow I call normal. And this is just one example of the creepiness of guys. How about guys who are too scared to actually talk to a girl, so they just cat-call or grope them? Or guys who won't stop texting? Or the guy who ignores his friends just to talk to her? It goes on and on. Yeah maybe the "asshole" isn't the perfect guy, but at least he's not pathetically needy and is comfortable with expressing his sexuality. She's actually attracted to him for that reason. And this is not a judgement against guys. I was just as bad and know this is all the result of the conditioning we've all received. But it's still creepy.

@Seed Keep goingggggggg. It's just your own shadow. And like a shadow, there's nothing really there.

@beatlemantis Do you meditate? If not, start.

@Hardkill Guess you better hurry up and get good fast

@billiesimon This is a really nuanced and important question. If you're in a relationship with a girl, you don't want to hide things from her out of fear she'll "find out". That breaks trust and communication. Plus she's probably going to know you're hiding something anyway. For instance, if she asks you how you day was and you say "fine" when in reality you're tripping out because you got fired from work and don't know how you're going to pay the bills, that's bad. Much better would be to be honest about what happened. Let her express her thoughts and offer help if she wants. She also doesn't want to be with a robot, she wants to feel. So one of the single best things you can do as a guy is learn how to express a large range of emotions and give that to her. At the same time, you have to recognize what your girlfriend ultimately is not. She is not here to take care of you. She is not here to fulfill your needs. She is not here to feel sorry for you. Failure to recognize this will result in her either resenting you or leaving you. And if you think it's her job to do any of those things, that's because you've been conditioned to believe that co-dependency and victim-thinking is normal. So the solution is that you need to handle you. Meet your own needs through your spiritual practice, life purpose and whatever else makes you love life. Once you do that, you'll be able to communicate authentically without her feeling like you're leaning on her as this weak man.

@Charlotte I definitely think crying is fine. What you'll likely find is that you have a different experience of crying. I've noticed that I can cry and not necessarily feel any resistance to the crying. It moves through me and then it's over. I actually learned this because of an ex-girlfriend. She told me how one of the mistakes guys make is we don't go fully into the emotion. Unlike girls, who seem more willing on average to feel the full extent of their emotion. I didn't really think much about it until one time she saw me really upset. I thought I was feeling the emotion, but she stopped me and said "you're holding back". Suddenly I let go and got hit with what seemed like 10x waves of sadness. I was shocked. Since then I do my best to consciously remember that the solution isn't to resist feelings, but let go and let them pass.

@Andre Quinonez Yeah this is common. Always remember that your results in this work look a lot more like the stock market than just a straight line moving up. The important thing is to not quit. Get back on all those habits asap, this is temporary.

Stop blaming your mom. Yes, she is a neurotic, controlling helicopter mom. No doubt about it. But you're also allowing this to happen. You're making the choice everyday to live with her, to answer her phone calls and not set boundaries. You need to tell her this is not okay and things are going to be different. Period.