aurum

@7thLetter No one needs a relationship or anything to be happy. However, I've found there's very good potential reasons to want a relationship, some of which you've pointed out. If you're going to do it, I would keep in mind that most relationships are not good ones. A good relationship that's actually worth investing in is a rare thing and can be very difficult to manage.

@How to be wise This is partially why people say life is a dream. Sure, you remember bits and pieces of a dream. But the next morning when you wake up, where did it go? Where is it? Did it even happen? Everyday life works the same way. Only we are very convinced that the events of the past and the projections of the future are real outside the life we’re living.

@egoless It is. The idea that you can’t be charismatic even if you’re an “introvert” is an excuse. Read The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane. A lot of charisma is actually energetically based, which is why there are so many different types of people who are all charismatic.

Yo this guy made some solid points, everybody should listen to him

@NoSelfSelf Leo has a great list of qualities that define self-actualization. But I consider it a life's work.

@Angelo John Gage That's the fractal nature of reality. As above, so below.

@moon777light I love this show. He's sort of right. He pointed out that evidence for scientific truths require more evidence, which means that eventually you get to a point where you have no evidence for your belief. You must take it on faith. But he did "prove" the existence of god either. That would be to make the same mistake as the scientist.

@Uncover Do you take yourself seriously? The world accepts the judgments we place on ourselves.

@PsiloPutty Could definitely be part of it. Hard to say without more information. Why did you start no-fap in the first place?

It's not odd at all. This is in many ways HOW you get girls. You get them when you don't need them. As long as you're desperately running around trying to get into her pants, you're like an anti-pussy magnet. It's literally disgusting from her point of view. The problem becomes when guys use ^ as an excuse to do nothing and stay in their comfort zone.

This is a good strategy. Also, I'd add in that the more girls you're with, the less nervous you'll be. That will help a lot.

@Amit It's not about the amount of work you do. It's the fact that people who we might call workaholics are working from a place of inner deficiency and low self-esteem. They're out of touch with their spirit. As long as you keep up your spiritual practice (meditation, yoga etc), I wouldn't worry about it. And if your concern is productivity, you should be structuring ways for you to work less, not more. That's what productivity means: get more done with less time / effort.

@Vinnie Psychedelics. That's easily the fastest way I've seen to have an awakening experience.

@Paulus Amadeus Great thread idea. One business idea I have (which I'm not attempting to execute on) is opening up a marketing and / or consulting agency specifically for conscious business owners. It provides value because people in the consciousness community are often not effective in business. They don't learn it or they don't see value in it. I've fallen into this trap myself. Sometimes I get so "spiritual" that I forget I have to actually make money and do my marketing properly. It's also a way to help out amazing products come into being. If they're a conscious business owner, than what they are doing should be bringing real value to people.

Some of this definitely comes from inner blocks. For instance, if you talk too fast that's sometimes a sign that you are nervous. The "talking too fast" is just a symptom. All the inner work Leo talks about here, e.g meditation / yoga, will help you out here. @Serotoninluv also made good points. Spend more time around great communicators, even if only virtually. Your subconscious is going to pick up on those subtle little cues that make them effective at what they do. I'd also argue that there's no one "right way" to communicate. They all have value depending on the context. When I'm making YouTube videos on my channel, these are the main variables I'm looking at to judge my delivery: 1) Volume. How loud does the person talk? Great communicators know how to project their voice, but also speak softly when necessary to draw attention in. 2) Pitch. You can speak in a HIGH VOICE or a lowwww voice. Mix it up. 3) Tempo. You can speak reallyreallyreally FAST!. Or, ya know, slow...it...down. Pause. 4) Emotions. Emotional flatlines are boring, fully express your range of emotions. 5) Certainty. No one will buy into what you're saying if you do not buy in first. Drink your own kool-aid. I'd would try recording yourself talking and look at how you do on each of these areas. Then just practice, practice, practice. This is actually a separate question on its own. First off, there are no inherently interesting stories. There most objective "best" story in the world will fall flat if your delivery isn't where it should be. See ^ for work on that. The second thing is to realize that stories should be about you, not the story. You could tell an amazing story with lots of action, plot twists, celebrity appearances and great delivery, but if it doesn't say anything about you, that's a mistake. For that reason, a good story to tell in real life might actually be boring on the surface, but one that reveals a lot about who you are as a person. Also, every story should have a point. Especially if you're trying to influence someone. There's a satisfying conclusion and the listener feels like they understood exactly why they took the time to pay attention. So try taking some of these ideas and play with them. Start telling stories all the time, no matter who you interact with.

Thanks!

Cool. Sounds like some interesting insights to share with the world.

Definitely not too energizing, in fact I usually do it right before meditation myself. I haven't had any problems. It's also definitely good for concentration. There's so many little things that require your attention that you really have to focus your mind. I'd say that's the hardest part.

What I find is that you go from being like a black hole to being more like the sun. The black hole just wants to suck value out of any situation it encounters. It doesn't see any point in giving or caring because it's all about me, me, me. It's a bit like a little kid. The sun is the exact opposite. The sun just does its thing everyday, giving and providing light for everyone. And never asking for anything in return. So why be the sun? Seems like it's getting a raw deal and it would be much smarter to be the black hole. The answer is just that you can't help it. You care and it feels good to support others. Now, you could say "I'm not like that, it doesn't feel good to care about others for me". But I'd argue that's self-deception. The sun is your natural state. All this consciousness work is doing is removing the blocks to you seeing that. So don't be surprised if you start softening a bit as this process continues.

@Maheshwar This is more or less the whole name of the game of the work we do here. You're depressed because you're in resistance to what "IS". You feel like it "should" be some other way. Meditation and yoga will help you here tremendously because they will get you in non-resistance to the present. I'd also read a book called Letting Go by David Hawkins.

Can you give an example?

You might not. Self-actualization is in many ways a luxury. So I would say take care of yourself first if something like that happens.

I would challenge this belief. If you get Audible, you could be listening to an audiobook at minimum 10 minutes a day while you're driving, making food or whatever other trivial tasks you have. Most books are ~6 hours, you could finish one a month at that pace. That's 12 a year. That alone could change your life. No excuses not be to be getting the correct knowledge.

This one is no joke. See if you can do this 31 minutes a day for 40 days.

@Gligorije Are you meditating and doing yoga every day? If not, there's your answer.