tom rAy

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About tom rAy

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    Russia
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  1. @CreamCat So how can you know what time is the best if you just starting out? Have you experimented with every period of time in a day, for like a few months for each? And you think making muscles hurt is a sign of efficient workout? seriously? Also it doesn't matter how far you are into working out - you can always have a good workout in 30 minutes, if you raise intensity and not volume.
  2. What I do has nothing to do with war. And I don't like soldiers. But I see tremendous power in a warrior mindset. You are a warrior and you get results, or you are a bitch. A warrior is a leader but he is led by gods. He's got a vision. He's actions are defined by his mission, not by his thoughts and feelings. He is willing to fight if he has to. If he is defeated he stays on the path and keeps trying, and finds a way. A warrior is excited in the face of adversity. He's grounded. He's OK with feeling uncomfortable. He is present to the moment. He's mindful of reactions, schemes, patterns of he's mind. A warrior is at the cause. He affects the world, not the other way around. He is happy. Because he chooses to be, right in the moment. I often see life as a video game. The character here has 5 characteristics, 5 areas of development: - mind - body - craft - finances - relationships Like in any RPG, where you can develop intelligence and mana, strength and dexterity, craft, speech, barter. First 2 are fundamentals - mind (also spirit) and body. If you gonna be a great alchemist you should be able to reach the dragon's nest and extract some of his blood that you need to mix that great potion you've seen in your visions, right? The other 3 areas may change their place of priority but all of them must be attended. When you are in a game you are there for adventures, but your still have a mission, a light to follow, and you still have to develop yourself to get further in the game, to get closer to your goal, and the further you get, the more adventure and experience will come your way. I'm a soldier of Muses. I'm here to transform the play of energy conducted by ethereal beings into sounds and words. I owe it to Muses. For the talent they've gifted me with. For them I will stay on my path. There will be more people who like my art. For them I will stay on my path. When I get to my goals and achieve the results, others will follow, and they will be better then those before me. For them I will stay on my path. And still I'm here for adventures. For them I will stay on my path. It's gonna be hard sometimes. Just move one foot in front of the other, it doesn't matter what do you think at the moment. Alright. The last time I had a journal here it helped me a lot. I installed a meditation habit and significantly improved my emotional state and my motivation, had some mystical change in consciousness for a few days . Since then I also established my gym habit back, made a few healthy changes in my diet. I don't consume coffee, almost no diary and wheat, eat much more vegetables, less sugar. Started reading more and working on my art more. Now I need this accountability that a journal provides once again. Now I'm implementing blocking my time. I challenge myself to follow the schedule I design for the next 30 days. And It's not gonna be easy. So if you see me backsliding provide me with some kick in the ass, please. My craft is the priority. So here's the schedule. Sunday is my leisure day. I sleep long and do what I want, the only must is a meditation session. And an hour on Sunday night I devote to planning and contemplating.. From Monday to Saturday it's quite similar. Let's say I wake up at 7 am (but waking up at the same early time is something yet to establish in the next week) 20 to 23 is my leisure time. I watch a movie or videos or go for a walk or go to sauna or socialize, or whatever. Last 10 minutes before sleep I devote to visualizing and planning, and posting notes here. When I wake up I meditate, cook and eat breakfast. Cooking is simple. One day I cook meat and veggies, another day I cook carbs and eggs. So there would be no more cooking. At 9 I start my time blocks. 6 hours of working/practicing/studying on my craft. Goes like this: 1 hour of activity - 10 min of rest; 1 hour of activity - 30 min of rest; 1 hour of activity - 10 min of rest; 1 hour of activity - 30 min of rest; 1 hour of activity - 10 min of rest; 1 hour of activity. The next 2-3 hours vary. On Mondays and Thursdays it's gym, shower, meal. On Tuesdays and Fridays its 1 hour of self-development videos and programs (and implementing the action steps/ doing exercises if possible) + 1 hour of reading. The same rest-activity scheme. On Wednesday it's 1 day of doing chores like cleaning and washing, and one hour of videos. On Saturdays it's half an hour of stretching and half an hour of some chores. I may change some things in a process. I'm already terrified. But if I can follow for a week I can follow for a month, so I just need to follow for a week for now. Consider it a boot camp for self-discipline.
  3. Have you read the forum guidelines?
  4. Check his book if you are interested. Called The Multi-Orgasmic Man. What he talks about there definitely works and it's worth learning, great techniques there. Basically you'll learn energy work through jerking off. The process of multiple orgasms itself and moving energy from the balls - this is real and useful and fun. David Deida also touches on the topic in his "The Way of the Superior Man". But I haven't tried to sharpen the "knife" as he teaches here, can't say anything about that. Though I don't know how much of this teaching is related to tantra, never got deep into that topic.
  5. wait a second, yesterday you were trying to get sexual abundance...have you changed your mind? or your attempts at getting late pushed all your friends away? As for being happy alone, meditation and mindfulness work + Eckhart Tolle stuff worked for me.
  6. There's a guy on youtube called Damian Keyes. He talks a lot about this kind of matters, lots of great points. I like his approach, resonates with me most of the time. Try checking him out. Just music is not enough anyway. There are tons of great music in the world that no one ever heard. You want people to invest their precious time in listening to you music - you have to market it, and you have to give massive value (not only with your music). It doesn't have to be robotic and the same as everybody else does. Be creative with your marketing, it doesn't have to be inauthentic. And all this authentic/inauthentic struggle - I think a lot of it is bullshit. Like I may say that approaching girls in clubs is inauthentic to me, and I may really believe it, but I would just sound like a bitch instead of taking actions, wouldn't I? Stage orange is something to integrate, in your own way, not to be against it. It's not the music industry that is mostly stage orange. It's modern world. Nothing wrong with it.
  7. Weirdly reducing the meditation time made it harder to meditate all the way through, I think I'll stick with one hour. Still struggling to work for 4,5 focused hours, can't do it on some days. And I still need energy to cook and clean and workout etc. Though scheduled work has already given me some flushes of creativity.
  8. Today is the 30th day of my journaling and the 32nd day of daily 1-hour meditation. Now I can say that my life is really changing. I finally acquired a sense of going somewhere, and I acquired a vision of what I want to create with my life, at least short-term (1 or 2 years). It feels like the downward spiral has turned up. I'm more mindful of my thoughts and emotions better understanding their nature and how they affect me and each other. Though I went through some side effects and release of strong emotions, now I feel happier then before, not experiencing the negativity that I had before, so my depression is dissolving. Another important change is that I'm getting more disciplined. I've started to build a healthy routine for myself. And the vision gives motivation. I made some plans in the beginning of the month but the only things that I followed through were meditation and posting in the journal. Regarding the rest of the plan, I've changed it. Now when I've got a vision I should plan the things I do towards actualizing it. For the next 2 weeks I'm going to keep meditating every morning (10 minutes of concentration + 50 minutes of active detachment) and journalling and working as much as it is sustainable for me. Then I'm going to leave for a summer trip. I should write about my vision and strategy here later to cement it. Now about today. Today I was slacking off. Meditated as before after waking up, worked out in gym, but worked on my project only for two hour, for the rest of the day doing mindless things and drinking coffee. But it's alright today, it's expected, I'm changing my life a lot after all.
  9. waking up early (4 am) - done concentration (10 min) + meditation (50 min) - done three 90-min blocks of work - done + an hour of not so focused work of backing up the files
  10. Had a lucid dream today. Expected it to happen after that much gaming. I tried to meditate in this dream. Sat there with my eyes open, but some force started moving me up and down in the air, so I couldn't be still. I remember having intention to enjoy the dream without trying to change anything. Also met Putin the, was asking him about his life, like what would he do if he didn't work as a president. The meditation this morning was very different. I did my 5 minutes of concentration and started my 1 hour meditation when I woke up. The technique was active detachment (releasing thoughts when I notice them). Halfway through my state changed. I wasn't thinking anymore. I mean I still had some thoughts passing by but it didn't feel like I was thinking them, they were coming and going somewhere on periphery like distant sounds. At the same time I had feeling of pressure in the front part of my head, above my left eyebrow. Completed three 90-minutes blocks of work throughout the day. First two were in the morning and were more productive I think, then the last one in the evening. Worked out in the gym.
  11. Concentration for 5 min, meditation for an hour - done, after waking up. 2 90-minutes blocks of work - done. I see from it how little I can do in 3 hours, and I could work more. So I'm adding the third block for this week. It's better to finish first two of them before noon. Somehow I also managed to play a video game for 8 hours straight this morning.
  12. I need to create powerful and positive daily routine. Especially around my work. Block time seems to be a right technique for this. So I'll try for the next 7 days working on my record for two 90-minutes blocks throughout a day, everyday. Focused and without distractions. Another piece of routine I want to implement now is going to bed before 1 a m any day. I need to improve my diet more also and make some easy routine out of eating and cooking. Found myself watching and re-watching a lot of basic self-help videos. This is exactly what I need now when I'm in the right mindset to start implementing the useful techniques right away. Meditated today for 1 hr when I woke up. Was one of the hardest meditations of this month, couldn't sit properly still and wanted to stop. Going to do concentration before sleep again.
  13. One of the recent realization was that social connections are very powerful for achieving things and developing, it's very useful to seek out new social interaction and find people who you could work together on something or exchange value. Other people often can do some thing better then you, when you do other things better, I often experienced benefits of it. Today I was very neurotic for a while. Especially when I finally started to work with commitment and motivation and one hour in the audio interface lets me down and stops working. Me trying to fixing it doesn't work, even reloading the laptop that always helped now didn't work, so it really triggered some frustration and anger within me so much that I threw a cup full of tea all the way to the other end of my room. And then picked it up and smashed that glass cup into the floor. And that's me who haven't really had any problems with that sort of emotions since I was a kid or I thought I haven't, turns out I don't know very much about how to handle it. My eating wasn't great also, all I ate throughout the day was basically bread and cottage cheese. And I wasn't a bread eater just before 2 weeks ago. So I want to make my diet more beneficial by sticking to those two rules from now: - not eating bread more then once a day, - not drinking coffee more then once a day. Last night and the night before I noticed that I can easily relax my whole body deeply when I lie on my back. Use to do it deliberately when I was practicing autogenic training and other relaxation techniques in the past. But haven't done it this deep in a long while. Now it like appeared on itself. Meditated 1 hr. Going to do concentration before sleep.
  14. Going to bed earlier when you are not sleepy some days makes me to feel slightly miserable and hence think miserable thoughts. Feeling like I just can't let go and accept being with myself and let myself being in piece. But diving in this feeling may give insights. The other night I've realized that I still care to much about thoughts and opinions and feelings of others. Especially relatives and people I know well. I want to be mindful of that from now. Yesterday I did 1 hr of meditation and 5 mins of concentration. Concentration practice with the right object feels powerful. Despite the fact that I went to bed at 5 am, still couldn't fall asleep for few hours and woke up 5 30 pm.
  15. there's a whole genre for this This is one of the greatest live shows I've ever seen on video. I think this song has something to do with enlightenment also: