StarStruck

It is very hard to remove this niceness, politeness and overly-considering nature out my psyche. Do you have any pointers how to permanently change this aspect of my personality? I don't know what the source of this niceness is. It is hard to pinpoint. That is what I did and I just wanted to cross reference my experience. I also want to help other people on this forum by making this thread. I made a journal about my pickup where I'm sharing commentary. She will cringe from you and not give you a chance if you are weak, so good luck building that emotional connection.

@Preety_India what do you think about being like this dickhead but being more balanced? Probably even more. Reality is a strange loop.

She (blonde girl with whom I had an instant date in the park) is constantly hitting me up. This is a very hot 21 year old girl. She looks way younger. Her personality is perfect for what I need in a relationship right now: cute, timid, shy but fiesty, she even looks like my favorite pornstar. And from the looks from it she really fell for me and wants me. My problem though is that I'm doing nofap and I fell into a flat zone. This PUA shizzle is pulling all of my strings. It didn't expect my PUA endeavors to work out so quickly. I'm also very busy with school and work this coming two weeks and I don't have time. I'm so sad and disappointed in life but guess what? It is all my own doing! To be fair I also have a lot of emotional baggage from the past but I'm an adult. I have to fix this or die trying. I'm really depressed right now but this clip always cheers me up:

From the last post I notice that I can be very negative towards myself. There were also some good stuff like I can execute very well, I can shrug off rejection like it is nothing. Pickup is really an internal game. An inner jihad. It is all in the mind. Too many dudes focus on external variables. I need to focus on building confident and attraction. At one hand you need to pull (through passive attraction) and push (through confidence) Julien explains it nicely

Today I didn't want to do approaches but I forced myself to do some. I approached some real hotties and I got blown off. My energy and confidence was way off. These were my problems Expecting something for nothing Being angry at hot girls for not accepting a weak weasel that I was. It is really stupid when I think about it. Being angry at hot girls for like only confident men is like being angry guys for liking tits and ass Not being in my own power, giving my power away. Too much micro managing and thinking about what to say. What to say is really a cherry on top of the cake. Being anal about the cherries while the cake sucks is really dumb. Also I'm having a lot of inner conflicts during approach: conflict between letting things be versus doing. I got one nice conversation and I got all needy and bitchy. It wasn't a good day for acquiring new girls. Also I'm busy with some other stuff and I just don't feel good. Nonetheless, I got some lessons and insights from today. I don't care about results too much since that blonde girl that texts me all the time.

Mindfulness is great for pickup and relationships. Today I noticed a shift in myself in terms of relationships. In the past when I would love or like somebody I would cling. Now I love or like them and let it go. If it is ment to be, she will return to me, and recently I discovered that is the way to attract girls and make them "yours" through emotional connection. It is really about trust in yourself, letting emotions manifest, having principles and values, letting go of fear and letting go in general and being in truth.

Two days ago my grand mother died. Death is real in the relative sense. It made me think about stuff and about life and what I want to get done. I'm done with this woo-woo stuff for the coming weeks. I will try to meditate on the regular though.

Next week I will be starting to take psychedelics again after 3 months of intense self-development in the field of psychology. This thread has the purpose to track my development. I will be focusing on healing and enlightenment.

I noticed that I'm looking different to actualized org after suicide of SoonHei and the whole ordeal by Conner Murphy. These happenings revealed spiral dynamics deep stage orange of this forum. There is a lot of selfishness that I was afraid of. I dropped those feelings of guilt of caring about myself. Everybody pursues his own interests, so will I.

So to stop one-itis I did some approaches today. I noticed I totally lost my MOJO in terms of flow, train of thoughts, orientation but in terms of emotionality I was on par. I really need some trust in myself, understand I'm a human, machine and use my biological energy based brain and body the right way. I thought I was good but with just like everything else when you don't use it you lose it. It seems pickup and short term memory and reflex are closely linked.

I have no contact with my mother after years and years of emotional and physical abuse. I'm done with her and her abusive family but my grandmother's death makes me confront old shit again. One part of me wants to be nice and do the right thing and another part of me wants to stay close to myself: I'm not going back while I cut them out of my life. Going to the funeral will feel like stabbing myself in the back. I don't want to betray myself. I don't want to be nice at the expense of pleasing my nephews and nieches. I really don't care about my mother and her family but I do care about my nephews and nieches so I'm in a split. If I don't go my nephews and nieches will be angry at me. Perhaps not even want to see me but I doubt that. If I go, I will have to betray myself. I was on the blink of suicide thanks to my mother so I don't care about her. Also I don't want to see my mother and to play a role when I don't care.

I'm going to stop lying to myself. I totally fell in love with her. ?

My relationship with my little brother is also bad. Yes. Thanks. I will think about it for couple of hours but they didn't respect me when I was alive and they were alive. Why would I respect them now? They don't have that kind of service there. Hm, interesting points. But do I really have to visit the funeral to forgive them? I can forgive them and still not visit the funeral in my opinion. You might have a point about not wanting to confront a part of myself by going there. I will have to work on that nonetheless, whether I go or not.

In my culture that would be seen as an insult. I have to stay for 1 day or not go at all. No.

It is 5 hour flight by airplane and it is a remote village so no hotels so I have to stay with them in the village.

It is not the right moment to tell the truth I think. They already know the truth and they never cared; brushed it off.

It is not easy to do no-fap. For most guys it is a way to cope with kundalini. That is why men who don't have get so much done in life. People who don't fap a lot on the other hand can tap into this power: Also you make a good point about the hormones. There is just not enough evidence to say that porn is healhty. High speed porn is something new and dangerous (because it is not studied enough). Nowadays a brother can have 10 tabs open and switch between pornstars every 10 seconds while in nature the same brother can't even get 1 average girl. That just fucks up the delicate brain. Our brain is made for survival and reproduction. I think with people who fap chronically, the body will put survival as a secondary priority and reproduction as a primary priority. The body is more concerned with producing a lot of sperm to keep up, and put other processes like healthy organs and hormone regulation on the secondary priority.

It is a balance between being attuned to her subjective reality and projecting your own reality, no? Nice guys are totally attuned to a girl's wants, needs and feelings and they become a doormat.

This morning she (blonde girl with whom I had an instant date) took contact with me and asked me for a date. Omg, I keep reaching new plateaus. This is the first the in my life that a girl (that is my type) asks me for a date in such an explicit way.

Is it going to be a book or a seminar?

A supplement I don't take often is modafinil but when I take it I become nothing less than a machine. There were couple of times that I literally put the fear of god in a bitch, and she liked it. ? Obviously you have to feel if the girl likes it or not. Some girls are not into that.

Leo has all kinds of health problems and he says he ejaculates 20 times a day, and he can't make the connection. If you ejaculate that often, the body has to work on overdrive to produce sperm. The body will stop sending nutritions to organs and spend that on sperm production. If Leo does nofap I don't think it will immediately help him. He has a history of chronic fapping. Perhaps it is too late for him but nothing wrong with doing nofap as an experiment.

Combating one-itis One-itis("Often confused with love, this is the feeling that a particular woman is actually special. This is just an illusion; she is the same as the other three or so billion. "Go fuck ten other women" is the most commonly prescribed treatment for this "disease" (hence the "itis"), as it tends to show quite quickly how very alike people are.") is starting to begin to form a problem after the recent girl I met (instant date in the park). I noticed that I'm getting attached to her although I had one date with her for 2 hours or something. It was great but I'm afraid to get hurt. I'm trying to let my attachment to her go: it is painful. Letting go is the inner part of the work that is needed. The other part is external which is to keep approaching. I really don't want to because I feel like cheating on her (strange I know) but fuck that shit. I got hurt so many times by girls that I'm going to chose for myself, first and foremost! I'm going to trust upon the fact that the more I let go of her, the more she will love me, if not, let it be so.. Bosy flirtation towards the train station I was walking towards the train station and took a turn, it was quite street so unlikely you walk side by side with a stranger, by god's will (or coincidence) my path towards the train station intersected with a cute girl. From the body language I knew she wasn't receptive but I had to try it. Me: how are you doing? She: That is none of your interest! Me: wow, you are nice! She: I don't have good exp with guys approaching me on the street Me: I was just trying to be nice (statement of empathy) She: I know but my experiences are bad with such guys Me: I apologize in the name of creepy men (funniness) She: chuckles (she opens up here) Me: so what are you up to? She: I'm done with work *proceeded to talk about my work* Me: so what kind of work do you do? She: I don't want to tell Me: Ok, I didn't know it was secret information She: chuckles She: I'm not looking for anybody Me: but Imagine you were looking for somebody *I'm seeing she has to go up stairs and I don't want to follow her, so I had to wrap it up* Me: how about we exchange numbers, go out for a date so we can continue our squabble? She: chuckles Me: Sorry but I give up on you! She: have a nice day I really reached a new plateau with my game and I was really spitting game as they call it. I think she just wasn't interested in my physically. Other reasons could be that she thought I'm just out for sex and some girls really don't like that. I could have disarmed her indirectly with some stuff but a brother can only do so much. When I figured out she thought I wanted sex, I turned off the PUA stuff and was just charming but penetrating and she loved it (giggling all the time) but she still didn't give me her number. When girls notice that the pickup is about you instead of her, the vibe will change immediately. Girls are highly selfish, there is nothing wrong with that, I'm just observing that! Being authentic is appreciated by girls but at the same time you also need to emotionally manipulate them if you want to get some ass. Unfortunately this is the truth. Good quality manipulation is done in stealth: when you give her the feeling she seduces you instead you seducing her. This is the part I did wrong. I played with open cards. So fuck being a nice guy! Yes, being nice is important, but that is just the foundation of being a GENTLE-man. The core of a gentleMAN is MAN. Without being a man one can't be a gentleman. Be a prick, be an asshole, be arrogant, be a douche but fulfil her needs! That last one is the thing that really counts. It is really about balance but IMHO it is better to be one of those things than to be weak, soft, and nice; nobody can convince me otherwise; I have real life - first hand - proof how girls treat douches better than nice guys!

He eats holy chicken.

I did the same thing but I wasn't proud on it. I rather would have done it with a girl.