StarStruck

My therapist really doesn’t know how to deal with this. My previous one didn’t know how to deal with it either. I can feel certain senses fine when it is frustration, happiness, sadness, horniness and such. But there are just certain emotions I can’t feel. When my grandfather died I was sad but I couldn’t cry or emotionally process it. The energy just gets stuck in the body and it is unhealthy. My guesses are that my mechanism for emotional processes is broken or something. I wasn’t allowed to show a lot of emotions in my childhood. The strange thing is that with psychedelics I’m able to have those suppressed emotions but a lot of times I’m even suppressing my emotions during a LSD trip which causes a lot of suffering. I don’t suppress it on purpose. I know what I’m doing at the moment but I just don’t know how to not do it. My therapist advices me not to take psychedelics and he forwarded me to haptotherapy and psychomotoric therapy. Both are body based therapy instead of talk therapy. I hope this works but if it doesn’t I really don’t know where to go from there. My last option would be to take 500 ug LSD to see if that will smash my overcontrolling ego.

I talked to a very hot blond girl in the gym. A text book natural game pickup. I was surprised by myself. Letting go in game is such a huge aspect. Perhaps it is the biggest component. Only problem I encountered was at the end. I have some resistance towards success and getting the number is always a formality. She could definitely feel the awkwardness at the end while the whole ordeal was only good vibes. I was funny, lose, expressive and all in all was ok. Currently I'm just focusing on letting go during interactions. All the other pickup routines, tricks and theory are just theory on top of this basic skill. All the other will fall in place once you master letting go properly anyway. It is sad that this fact is not emphasised enough in pickup theory!

PUBG, sometimes CSGO and chess.

@JonasVE12 thanks, I think you are right. Ketamine would be a bad choice for me. LSD on the other hand did overwhelm my ego and I had couple of good emotional releases. On low doses it is torture though because my ego just hangs on and resist the experience tooth and nail. My problem in a nutshell is this. I can feel my bodily sensations, and I have some emotions here and then but when I decide to just sit with them by brain takes over and I'm just analysing and overthinking instead of just being with the feeling. Meditation would do me good to calm the mind but I'm only to do it for 30 minutes and not on a regular basis. I guess I just have to make a harsh distinction between thoughts (yang) and feelings (yin) and just not respond to the thoughts and just live based on feelings for some while? There are actually people like this. They don't think at all and they just operate on feelings alone.

Which book of Stan Grof do you recommend? I remember scrolling through couple of his ebooks but it was very theoretical and no a lot of practical application. @ll Ontology ll I appreciate your honest input. Your story sounds very similar to my. A lot of intellectualization. I will look into your topic. Perhaps we should try Ketamine? Have you watched Leo's latest video? Ketamine just sounds like it was made for me. Obviously I will use it for insights and not as an easy way out. What I learned about myself is this: no need to make easy stuff more complicated than it is. Easy problems need easy solutions. Difficult problems need difficult solutions. The ordeal is to correctly assess the situation. It is a matter of accurate "mentalization". Having the right holistic picture of a problem is much powerful than understanding all the nitty-gritty (details) of problem. Most of the time we don't even need to understand all the unnecessary nitty-gritty.

I think you might be right. To be honest I found IFS to be a little childish and I didn't give it a serious try. I still have the book with the notes so I might just do self-help and ask my therapist for assistance. He is familiar with system therapy and schema therapy which is closely related to IFS. My current view on IFS is that it is very helpful but I just have to give it a serious try. Sometimes I do feel deep emotions like sadness. Yesterday I had to friendzone a girl I liked because of my no-fap journey and self-healing. These sensitive parts (sensitive side of me) do exist but like you say they are tucked away by conditioning and protected by old guards that are no longer needed. Microdosing is a hell for me because my overprotecting ego kicks it and the trip just becomes a drag.

There was not really a point but a gradual transition to cutting emotional ties. I do remember there was no safety so I had to train myself not to express myself to my parents. Ok, I didn't know it was important for the therapist to openly show their emotions. I think he is a pretty honest guy and just tells straight up if I'm weird (when I 'm intellectualising too much). I really appreciate the honesty and he knows that because my previous therapist wouldn't give me those reality checks. It is interesting that you bring safety up. My next session I will focus on this aspect and see if there is a chance in the vibe.

Hmm, intesting Just sitting with my feeling is very hard for me, I'm very prone to overanalyzing, retreating from my body to my head. It is not even an option but an automatic habit. I really have to implement a steady meditation habit which is very hard for me. Hm, but why do you ask me to pick my therapist for this exercise? He doesn't really trigger me.

I finally friendzoned that woman. It was very hard to do but eventually I had to drop the truth. I hoped we could evolve in a friendship but she was obviously hurt. I'm so sad because I really enjoyed her company and the fact she was chasing me. She told me she is not going to chase anymore. Thanks to her, I've learned a lot about myself: I have to work on my false fight/flight activation and learn to chillax. Relaxation, being yourself =/= tension, being a try-hard, being weird and rigid I have to really have to work on my self-image/self-esteem/ego (this is major task!) My game really sucks but game is really icing on the top, the first two points are big sticking points. I've also noticed that time flies. It is just sooo frighting how quick time goes. Setting a goal is good, but having subgoals with timelines and deadlines is as crucial. What is the point being great in game, if you become old? Skill is an important variable, experience is major contributing variable and the most important variable is TIME. That is the only thing you really have, the most previous and nobody knows how much you have of it. So savor it. I have reached my 1 year anniversary of this thread and my pickup journey that I started last year. Soon I will dedicate a piece on it in this thread.

Pocketbook is much better than Kindle. I notice that a lot of people never give ereaders a real shot. In terms of bookmarking, taking notes, and annotating it beats real books in my experience.

Authority is better than no authority. Even on this forum that suppose to be an enlightened place you see mods misusing their privileges. There is already one despicable mod and now there is another. I won’t call the name but there is just one mod that just uses his modding rights to get favors from the girls on this forum. Girl on this forum just points out opinions she doesn’t like and the mod just gives warning without questions asked. This happens in the wild too but the thing is coward are heroes behind computer monitors. So the most coward people in the real world will be the most courageous on the internet. Especially on the internet we need the power to be in the right hands. In the real world these cowards will have the teeth punched in and that will be the end of it. The internet on the other hand is relative safe space for cowards.

SDS? @Ulax thanks for the advice. When I pick my next therapist I will definitely look if the practitioner is IFS certified. At this moment it is not possible to change my therapist. By the way, I'v read books on IFS so I know what you are talking about.

With my current one for 5 months. With my one before this therapist 1 year. I have a good bond with him (it is a he). I also have some other good bonds but I’m an introvert so not that many.

It would ruin the chemistry of the forum. I think if such a subsection is created it would attract a lot of drabble and the forum feed would be clouded with it.

How long is your meditation sesh?

Psychocybernetics is all you need. All those other books are mostly based on this book. Most of those other book contain fluff.

So approached these two German ladies, and we started talking about regular stuff and one thing let to another and they offered me a threesome. My state totally collapsed and I was just stuttering and was all timid/quiet. This happened to me couple of times before but never in this fashion. I think I messed up. I still have their numbers though. im trying to understand what is happening here? My ego getting out of the safe zone or my limiting beliefs kicking in? This pattern happens everything I’m having success it feels like I don’t have control over myself at these moments. The more control I want to exercise the cringier it gets What I learned is this: Pickup is just foreplay. What I did today was just let go of all resistance and just go balls deep but with good foreplay and emotional spiking beforehand.

Get into sexual transmutation and see the wonders

try it

@acidgoofy @Benton @Adodd I heard the same from Sadh Ghuru. I can't find the video but he said psychelics just pump a lot of energy through a person's body which causes premature aging. He didn't talk about balding but I guess IFFFF you are prone to balding balding will happen sooner, IFFF you are not prone to balding it will happen. Please read the ifs.

What? That stress causes premature aging and hair loss? Quick google search will give you billions of studies. With psychedelics a lot of life energy gets pumped through your system, if you think this doesn’t have any side effects, then I would like to sell you some land in Florida. if somebody tells you something is good and says there are no bad (i.e side effects) some bells should be ringing.

Getting bald and premature aging. It activates a lot of things in the body. Bad trips can cause a lot of stress which is obvious what can it can cause but I think even good trips have a toll.

Point is not to identify with the failure. It is just feedback.

@Ninja_pig I think state is a snapshot like you say Self-image is really what matters. State is just a momentary expression of your self-image. A girl’s shit test is just to see the validity of your self-image. If you buckle after some insinuation of the possibility of some tail, you failed the validity test. The same way we don’t want counterfeit money, she doesn’t want a guy with a counterfeit personality. I don’t even blame myself for the collapse of my state at that moment. These girls were 8/10 and 9/10. It was far out of my self image (and what I think I deserve at this point) for things to succeed. Also I don’t al have a lot of experiences approaching two girls. I usually approach only one girl.

Look at her like you would look at your favorite food