Raptorsin7

I recommend pursuing awakening before pursuing life purpose. Once I had an awakening my life purpose just sort of came to me in a 4 hour float tank session. I was already working on the life purpose course, but I didn't really know what life purpose was or how I was going to find it. After the awakening everything just clicked for me and it was clear what kind of work I want to do. I'm in the early stages so everything i'm doing is subject to change, but I think all the hardcore seeking I was doing made everything around life purpose easier, How's the path going for you? Do you have a meditation practice? Are you working with psycs?

@zeroISinfinity Last part I felt the humor

@zeroISinfinity Wow that's crazy. So how do you do the inversion? Do you have to be good person in devil land before God lets you wake up? So all people who commit suicide are ahead of me on the path because they are already with god.

@zeroISinfinity Then why is there suffering?

@zeroISinfinity What do you mean I am right? You have to just say I'm right about everything?

@zeroISinfinity Say what's true and in alignment with feeling, then you will feel good (god) ?

@zeroISinfinity Bring out the zen stick more often. Very good analysis

@mandyjw Do you have a reliable way to make yourself cry? I'm really looking for ways to make myself very but I'm stuck atm.

@Nahm That's my insight too. I'm not ready yet, but I'm close. I'll stick with more basic self help and writing my story on the path first. Then when in ready ill transition my content.

@Thewritersunion Thank you that was a good explanation. @VeganAwake Okay I already do that but I'll keep trying

@VeganAwake How do I fully accept what is?

Am I ready to teach enlightenment? I honestly don't feel I am. I feel like I'm deep on the path. I've had the god realization on LSD, I know reality is all good and I know I created it for the purpose of enjoyment and experience. But there's still parts of reality that don't make sense. What kind of life coach would I be haha, whenever someone asks me something I say idk. Because it's true there's so much I don't know yet. I'm still learning. Even if i'm not ready to do calls yet and coach people 1-1, I do think a blog about my life experiences and experience with gaming could be incredibly valuable and useful to people. Just being honest, explaining my history with depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, etc could be of great benefit to people. There just aren't that many people who speak honestly and candidly about themselves and how they view the world. @Nahm do you think i'm ready to teach? I don't think I am. but my website is about helping people but I still feel flawed as a person. I believe i'm not ready to teach enlightenment, but at the same time I think it's the most important thing in the world and I want my life to be about teaching and helping people. Perhaps just sharing my perspective will be enough to begin with. Just being honest may be enough idk. But I think it's important to just start. Put myself out there. Start releasing content and get the website going. Stand for something.

@Alex bAlex Thanks a lot man that really helped.

@VeganAwake What did you do to awaken to love?

@LfcCharlie4 Thanks for the faith man it means a lot. I'm glad you see the potential in the idea like I do.

@mandyjw This is my instinct as well. I want love, it's just veiled at the moment. I want to enjoy life and actually be happy. Seeing through the illusion of the separate self didn't do it for me though. I feel like I can recognize the separate self in thinking, but even when I see through it and be with whatever is present in the now it doesn't feel good. Then the seeking restarts, and i'm just trapped in this cycle.

I did 100ug of LSD last night and I have some questions about progressing on the path. I have a hard time crying, and I think the next part of the path for me is to learn to cry because I think it will lead to relief. During the trip I was able to cry a bit and that felt better, but I also realized how it was very hard for me to just relax and how hard it was to just feel good. I went through many suicidal thoughts because at certain points I just couldn't handle the emotional pain. I noticed that when I tried to stop and breathe it felt better, but I would also get nauseous and so I was stuck just basking in the misery without any relief. It was my worst trip to date, and i'm scared to trip again because if I do higher doses I might just kill myself, and I dont' want to die I want to live. I also spent time looking at myself in the mirror. I always had a complex about how I looked. I was very vain every since I was a kid, and I am definitely neurotically obsessed with how I look. I understand how I look is subjective because I've improved my self confidence about how I look in the past, but look at myself in the mirror was still crazy. My eyes got all weird, my eyes changed color, I noticed my face and body would literally change and I would see multiple eyes on myself it was crazy. I was scared at one point that the person in the mirror would just start talking to me and I didn't know how to handle. I feared the terror and horror that would come from that kind of hallucination but it didn't happen. Has anyone faced this kind of intense of emotional pain and come out the other side happy? I feel like the point of spirituality, psychidelics, etc is to just feel good and be happy. That's what i'm looking for on the trips is well being and pure happiness. I also feel a strong urge to vomit on my recent trips and I wonder if that's related to anything? I know my diet is terrible so that's the number one culprit. I'm really going to make an effort to clean up my diet and stop poisoning myself moving forward. I've had LSD trips where I felt misery, but there was also a break through into bliss. But this time I got stuck at misery. Will a higher dose be better for me now that I am used to doing 100ug trips? I've tripped about 5 + times in my life now, ranging from microdoses to about 150ug doses.

@Consilience Thanks. I should clarify, I never had a serious intention to kill myself. But I felt so bad and I had no solution. It was just emotional pain and I didn't know what to do. I want to live, I know life can be amazing and I have faith in a brighter future. I've never seriously struggled with suicide so this was new to me. I've tripped multiple times and I've had some break throughs into positive feelings but I just haven't done monster doses and I don't know what to expect,

@mandyjw I struggle with exercise. Like I just don't want to do it, and I give up easily when I do it. How do you force yourself to do with when you don't want to do anything?

@zeroISinfinity I have a hard time crying. I want to cry all day but I don't know how to bring out the tears. The path is rough man. I was having suicidal thoughts on Lsd recently, I'm really hoping I can be done with all this non duality stuff soon

What practices do you do that produce good feeling? I'm trying to cultivate feelings of joy, bliss, appreciation, gratitude etc but i'm having trouble. I find simple meditation on the feeling of being me isn't enough to get me bliss and joy, are there are specific meditation practices that can generate these high tier feelings? Any other thoughts on how to feel better?

It's okay to cry. Crying is good. Theres nothing to be ashamed of when crying.

Okay I can get a good effect with these drugs if i take them as often as possible honestly. The main thing holding me back has got to be the fears of being a drug addict. The stigma around arounds is strong, I think it makes me an inferior person for being on drugs. Which is somewhat true. It's a partial truth to say that you are inferior for wanting to be on drugs, its true to say that I have a lot of fucked of beliefs from factors that I cannot control and I need a way to make sense of it. Honesty is so important. Radical honesty. Until it would be a radical move not be honest. Life flipped inside out. Full on embrace of bizzaro land. I think this is true of me. I've always feared sickness because i didn't want to die because death=bad. But i am sick. I need help. If it's not obvious yet its obvious now. I am in recovery. I need to heal from life. This is my life now. Healing myself, and finding a way to heal people is where its at. It's all i care about. Its all i care about anyways.

@Ry4n how do you do it? know any resources?

@RendHeaven People are already playing the games. Imagine learning to play in a way that makes you feel good and become happier, and also makes you better at the game. The buddha used the breathe to enlighten people, I will use league of legends and video games as my vehicle.