Raptorsin7

@TrynaBeTurquoise Dude don't put so much attention on what Leo's doing, you're being too combative, trust me I've been there/still do it. Be careful, don't get banned for nothing like dick swinging

@VeganAwake How did you recognize the truth of no self? How do i know when i got it, or i've just convinced myself i got it?

I'm going to plan my day in advance today: Coffee Shower/Shave/Washroom Guided Meditation Mooji 1 Hr Warm up aim booster/ 3 games of league of legends Wash windows Break go for a long walk/run(maybe run i'll see how my stomach feels) Whim hoff breathing 5 rounds Watch all 3 replays and take notes on mistakes- look for trends Shadow work journal Look up popular websites related to league of legends, and gaming improvement Read LOC 1000 and Transurfing reality Bed before 10 pm Additional: No junk food or binge eating, I've been struggling with this one lately. Take action on each item on the list, don't fall into the trap of procrastination.

@mandyjw The suffering Is always in thought. But I just want more out of life. Sadness is not a big deal when compared against happiness, joy, thriving. But I have none of that. I'm just stuck. No progress, no just failure. My life is ups and downs, but the downs are so much longer then the ups, and the ups never last. I want more out of myself, but I don't know how to get it.

Doing 1 hour of guided inquiry with mooji is pretty effective for me. The ego backlash is pretty rough. A few months ago i felt on top of the world and felt as though i was on the verge of a huge break through. But i'm still stuck and i can't relieve the tension in my head through my spiritual practices. Now i'm just kinda stuck in limbo. The girl i'm talking to hasn't responded to my text in 2 days too lol. Our first date was pretty great i thought, and she agreed to a second date but then she just went ghost on my over text. Part of me would be relieved if she just said i don't think it's going to work out, i don't know if this is a self sabotaging part of myself or what. Pretty sure life is better than what i'm currently experiencing. These lows really suck. It's not even that it sucks that much, it's just that i know life can be so much better than this so i'm just sitting here waiting for things to get better, but i guess they won't get better until i make major changes. But then Nahm sais there's no problem so i don't know. My mind is fucked. Thinking is ntot on my side and i'm just not in a good place. There's literally no point to any of this. Like if i'm the eternal absolute being. Then this game will go on forever, but the current iteration of the being just fucking sucks. So what is the fucking point of doing this to myself. Why not set up a situation where life got continuously better? Idk

@Galyna Does the book teach you how to move through emotions? I'm definitely in apathy for the majority of the day right now, but i'm just kinda stuck here

http://baldattraction.com/secret-formula-for-bald-mans-attractive-life/

I did 10 rounds of wim hoff breathing today and i felt some pretty good sensations in my head. I really want to fucking cry, but i don't know how to do it. The past few days i've relapsed on my diet, and i feel slow and lethargic. I'm going to do a dopamine detox tomorrow and see how i feel.

@The observer What's your shamanic breathing practice? Any tips or recommendations?

@ElenaO Good luck, i hope you find someone soon! Remember that girl i told you about who didn't respond? She messaged me back like a week later, and we went on a date yesterday. Everything went really well, but i had one neurotic thought about our height difference (i'm 6ft3 and she's about 5ft3) but other than that it was almost perfect. I'm pretty excited, i already have another date planned for Wednesday and i think there's a mutual spark!

@Consilience @Leo Gura What do you guys think of finding love in the context of a romantic relationship? I've had a peak experience on psychs but i'm not sure if i've found unconditional LOVE/TRUTH on a trip yet, but recently i've been thinking that a relationship could function in a similar way as psychs. It's a essentially a practice to deepen the experience of love in your direct experience, but instead of psychs you're using each other in the context of a loving relationship.

I'm going to change course with my life purpose a bit. The last few months i've made very little progress with the game and my LP, but i think i see the problem. I want to focus on developing content, and writing material that is of benefit to other people, then i'll worry about playing the game for marketing purposes. I also realized that just by playing the game a bit, i will have my pulse on the gaming community which will aid me when i write. I actually don't need to be challenger right away, or at all, for my idea to take off. I'm excited to start writing and start thinking how i can really get creative in helping people. I think this will be a wise move. Selfless vs selfish intent will likely lead to very different results in my life. The next step is to think about what content to write. I think once i understand what people are searching for and where the interests lie in the gaming community, i can work quickly to start developing content around those niches.

Yup, the only thing that motivates me is basically this in one form or another.

@SamueLSD What i'm after the joy inherent in flow states. I don't how much you've read about flow psychology, but there's a state of being that gets accessed in various sporting events etc that is a large reason why certain sports like surfing are so popular. It's the state of flow that they're accessing. I want to access a flow state in league of legends, but i've been playing for the past few months and there's no flow at all. I don't know what it takes to get totally immersed in the game, but i'm trying to figure it out.

@Kalki Avatar Thanks that's great advice. I believe that as i go deeper with practices it will translate into how i play the game. I think one issue i have is i'm not reaching a deep state of relaxation in my practices, so even when i meditate before playing it's not like i'm in the zone already ready to go. Let's say i were starting from scratch in trying to apply this philiosphy to my gaming. How should i go about it? @SamueLSD League of legends.

@Raphael How are your sessions going? What's your technique? Can you full on cry from each session?

I just went on a date with a girl i met on hinged. It went really well. She has an awesome personality, and is very pretty. I was having neurotic thoughts about how she is a lot shorter than me, but is such an awesome girl i'm just going to let this pass and acknowledge it as a thought which doesn't feel good and isn't worth my attention. I'm very excited to spend time with this girl, i think she really liked me to.

@Lyubov Wow very cool, i'm glad i found someone in a similar spot as me. I will definitely look into psychidelic therapy. I already do psychs on my own, but my past few experiences haven't been great, but i'm going to power through. I should also add that my one break through experience came on LSD, after 2 weeks of pretty hard core practices. When the tension in the head/crown area is fully let go, everything in life made sense i had bliss flowing through me and i thought i was enlightened. What a day haha. Do you have insights into the journaling breath work combo? So you journal while doing breath work? Or you do them separately?

@Lyubov I've been feeling stuck for a few months now. I've had an awakening experience where all the tension in my head was released, and now i feel the tension back in my head but i haven't been able to release the tension like i did during my peak experience. Even now i feel tension in my head that relaxes a bit, but i just can't seem to let it go. It's definitely a feeling in the head that's the blockage. So are you saying just try and go deeply into the sensations in my head?

@Username When i take LSD i get nauseous, and i feel like vomitting, and sometimes i do vomit, whenever i put the tabs in my mouth. Would rectal insertion address this vomiting problem or do you think i'd still get nauseous if i took it orally?

@nistake So would this mean trying to detach as much as possible from what's actually going on in the game. So no matter what's occurring within the game, just bring attention to breathing, and observing the thoughts and emotions that arising while playing? Should i do anything with the thoughts or emotions or just try and let them and come and go without getting attached to the content? What does this look like in practice? I understand that the ideal is play each game the same way, independent of whether i win or lose, but it's easier said than done. I take losing hard, and just playing not well, and i'm not sure how to just change that mentality over night even though i want to.

But the enjoyment of any game is really dependent on the person and the conditions surrounding the game. Like i played a lot of basketball growing up, where it was about competition and i played for the "wrong reasons" but there were still many times where i would have a ton of fun and really play well. But there were lots of times where it wasn't fun, and i would just crack under the pressure and not play well. I think the games are largely neutral, it's the way we play them that determines the quality of experience. I want to learn to play this game in a way that provides more joy and happiness, but there is also tremendous business opportunity in pursuing this game which is why i chose it.

@DrewNows I guess right now when i'm playing myattention is on efforting, extreme focus on the game etc. So really just playing with attention continuously returning to the breathe? My mind is very active while playing and i'm almost always thinking incessantly at some point during the game. I also have a hard time handling it when the game gets out of my control or my teammates are making mistakes. I've always thought fun from playing would come from just being really good, i've always had the mentality it's not fun to be a loser so i'd take losing hard. I want to be the kind of person who just plays for the fun of it, and is really indifferent to winning or losing but i'm not sure how to make that happen. I'm playing as part of my life purpose. I want to start a blog about topics like toxic elements of video game culture , and how gamers struggle to have fun due to toxic competitiveness, like what i'm growing through right now with the game. My hypothesis is that if i learn to relax and play from a place of joy and happiness, then that in and of itself will lead to better performance then the current way i play which is highly goal oriented and striving based.

Getting back to the basics. I'm going tot focus my energy on getting back on track with fundamentals, and put the ga me on hold for the time being. Today here's what i accomplished: I started a jogging program where i will end up running 30 minutes continuously. This means a lot to me as i've been struggling with learning to run distance for a while now.e I did an hour meditation in the morning. Then i did a 40 minute guided breathing meditation laying on the ground which i really enjoyed and got pretty relaxed from. I'm going to diversy my meditation techniques and pay attention to techniques or guided meditations that i notice clear results. I went shopping with my mom to an indian restaurant. This one is subtle, but it was nice to get out of the house and just be in the world with my mom. I cleaned the windows outside my house for an hour or so today which was pretty good work for me. I did 30 push ups in one go a few different times which is solid because before i could usually do 20 before my arms burned out. I didn't play the game at all or watch content related to the game. This is important for me. I think i got lost in my life purpose idea by putting too much into getting world class at the game, when really the game is simply a marketing tool for the content i'm going to write. I will re-evaluate my play style in the game in the future, but for now because i really wasn't having fun playing the game recently i think it's a great time to take a break and just focus on getting grounded with practices and improving as a person. Today was a good day.

@Leo Gura Do you notice a correlation between your break throughs on psychs and your sober spiritual practice. I've noticed that most of my productive time spent in sober practice leads to release of tension in my head, and on my major break through, and not so major break throughs, on LSD i've felt a full on release of tension in the head.