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"it's because you and I don't really have fears anymore, we just act like we're afraid." - really made something click, thank you. Reminded me of a Ken Wilber quote: "The truth won't necessarily set you free, but truthfulness will" Have a good day.

Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha has a great section on the dark night. First thing I remember is to avoid bleed through. Don't use your symptoms to justify being a dick. Don't quit your job, end your relationship or do anything drastic out of one of the stages of the dark night. Secondly, don't get attached to it. People who know about the dark night might want to prolong it, thinking that that will increase the amount of purification that happens. But: the severity of your dark night does not determine the degree of peace and equanimity you will have afterwards at all. Don't adopt the self-image of the guy who takes on the suffering of the world single-handedly. That is not necessary and counter productive. You can go through the dark night in as much as seven minutes, or get stuck there becoming a chronic dark nighter for a decade. If you want a time-frame, try and get through it within a week by not getting attached to it at all and doing intense insight practice.

@exhale that's a fair concern. I have looked into it and it seems that at least in Germany Waldorf students tend to do well in an university setting. But that statistic might be a bit skewed due to Waldorf students usually coming from educated/high income households that can support them well in their education. I'm sure you can come up with an inventive compromise where you prepare them for the pressure to conform and achieve while simultaneously sparing them of their damning reality. Also consider the disservice you might do to them by not sending them to a Waldorf. Hope I was of some help with your decision making. Either way they will be alright since at least one of their parents is on this forum. Have a good day.

I might be wrong but I got the strong sense that this was you taking it personal. If I remember correctly you have brought up the issue of Leo assuming his viewers don't understand X topic some time before. Maybe it is worth contemplating why you react against that. Maybe not. Never bothered me one bit at least. Not trying to shit on you here just a friendly reminder you might want to check up on yourself. Godspeed.

I have some friends who went to a Waldorf school. Never heard of anything like what you say about weird dogma. From what I am aware of, they let children be children and don't pressure them into having to fulfill and keep up with a specific curriculum too early and instead let them develop and find themselves during those crucial years. Rudolf Steiner was great. Leo mentioned him once as stage turquoise. Though the schools as they are today are certainly and solidly green. Much better than a public school with all the stress and turmoil that pressuring kids to be a specific way will cause them. Be cautious though with this specific school as I suspect they probably vary in quality and ideology. You said you got a pretty good vibe though so I wouldn't worry about it. I think your kids will thank you for putting them in a Waldorf. I hope you will make the right decision

This is a job for @flume and her impressive collection of insightful and thorough Thoreau quotes. For starters: "Instead of money, fame, recognition and love... give me truth." Ime if you read about his life it becomes obvious that he had more than just a clue about what we are talking about here. He spent most of his life living in solitude in a cabin in the woods, you ought to run into some mystical experiences, plus he shows clear signs of metaphysical curiosity and a kind of otherworldly sentimentality. The pursuit of truth is not a modern development and he clearly was involved in it. He was, however probably not aware of the scope of what this work is all about. He seems solidly grounded in stage green spirituality. Which propelled him lightyears ahead of the society and time he was living in. An impressive achievement.

insightful and practical post, thanks @ardacigin . I am currently reading Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha, and have started my Dharma-Practice on new years eve. So far I have been mainly doing concentration practice 1 h every day and have been getting results such as increased ease, effortlessness and relaxation in daily life and this subtle, tingling sense of joy and self-acceptance. I intend to start doing insight practices soon and wanted to ask you for any advice you have for a beginner like me. What do you think is the most effective concentration to insight ratio? Also I will have the chance to do a ten day retreat at home where I should be able to get in 12h hours of practice a day. I intend to have this kickstart or supercharge my meditation practice. Do you have any tips for doing that? Should I stick to a schedule. Do insight or concentration or both? Do kasina? Or stick to one of those the entire time? Does it make sense to get in some light exercise/runnning/gym session? Would love to hear your input. Any additional tips will be greatly appreciated I always enjoy reading your posts and want you to know that they have been both practically helpful and inspiring. Keep up the great work. Much peace

Two if the english poems I have always liked. I wandered lonely as a cloud That floats on high o'er vales and hills, When all at once I saw a crowd, A host, of golden daffodils; Beside the lake, beneath the trees, Fluttering and dancing in the breeze. Continuous as the stars that shine And twinkle on the milky way, They stretched in never-ending line Along the margin of a bay: Ten thousand saw I at a glance, Tossing their heads in sprightly dance. The waves beside them danced; but they Out-did the sparkling waves in glee: A poet could not but be gay, In such a jocund company: I gazed—and gazed—but little thought What wealth the show to me had brought: For oft, when on my couch I lie In vacant or in pensive mood, They flash upon that inward eye Which is the bliss of solitude; And then my heart with pleasure fills, And dances with the daffodils. -William Wordsworth -------------------------- She walks in beauty, like the night Of cloudless climes and starry skies; And all that’s best of dark and bright Meet in her aspect and her eyes; Thus mellowed to that tender light Which heaven to gaudy day denies. One shade the more, one ray the less, Had half impaired the nameless grace Which waves in every raven tress, Or softly lightens o’er her face; Where thoughts serenely sweet express, How pure, how dear their dwelling-place. And on that cheek, and o’er that brow, So soft, so calm, yet eloquent, The smiles that win, the tints that glow, But tell of days in goodness spent, A mind at peace with all below, A heart whose love is innocent! -Lord Byron

Mahamudra is described in his prior book "Kriya Yoga Exposed". I think he left it out as a a subtle incentive to go buy that one too I had the same problem and asked someone on the forum for the exact routine in the Kriya Yoga mega thread and got a pretty detailed description. You will find it when you search for my username in that thread. Good luck with Kriya Yoga.

@bonesurfer yes, I have and I recommend it whole-heartedly. Will read it a second time next month. By the way, did you know that in the end he recommends you read it again at least once because on reading it the first time you don't really get the big picture of what is presented? I have read somewhere in the forum that Leo suggested you only start to really tap into the value this book offers upon reaeding it the third or fourth time around. Not saying you shouldn't take it with you but it will be a more intellectual enterprise. And ime it will be a distraction by putting too much on your plate at once. Think about it. Have a great trip. You surely will benefit a lot. Looking forward to hearing how it went

Sounds like a great plan. I'm sure there's much you will gain from it. My advice though would be to leave the book at home. It's a great book for sure but don't try to do too many things at once there. The book, I think, would become too much of a distractions, dividing your attention. Focus on being present and doing absolutely nothing and see what comes up Good luck

No understanding of maths needed beyond understanding how simple equations can be solved. If you are interested in that book, it's probably worth the read for you.

I prefer apps that use some kind of zen-gong sounds instead of alarm-timers. Also I find it useful sometimes to put on an inbetween-gong so that I can roughly assess how much time has passed.

Awesome share! Has anyone here read that book and might be able to give some feedback? Do you recommend it?

I have never tried it with partially open eyes but the other two have a very different feel and methodology to them. I tend to be more introspective with closed eyes and always approach a point of slight self-forgetfulness, whereas with open eyes I tend to become very alert and clear and aware. Personally I like to groove in and out of those two sometimes. Overall I prefer open eyes. Directing your focus inwards is not the goal of meditation but to drop the focus altogether is.

Beware that your effort to understand might actually be a means to suppress. Radical Honesty as a book has a very illuminating section on anger. Contemplation as taught by Peter Ralston in his chapter "How to awaken the uncognized mind" (I think) from his book "The Book of Not Knowing" should get you very far, I reckon. Good luck

Have you things their way? Find the scared child in your needs To Manipulate

Very similar situation here. I tend to find myself switching between states of silence and presence and states of anxiety about the future, hopelessness. There is little in between, maybe a sense of numbness. In that suffering I shame myself a little for being overly concerned with what I otherwise know to be so petty. On the other hand this lack of drive and direction has become a hindrance to my growth and development. But how can you be so concerned about your self in the face of such marvel and wonder. Other people in contrast seem so content just doing something and partying and having a good time, so what justification is there to go and tell them that they don't know what is truly important and they miss the point of life when you are depressed and anxious. I think it is very important to notice that that kind of unexamined life is no longer a possibility. You are beyond the point of no return. You must then acknowledge that you dream of a different kind of life, a life of truth and beauty and self-expression and connection and impact. You have stepped outside the box and now you are falling because you have yet to discover that gravity does not apply here. Think for yourself, what is truly important to you beyond social and cultural conditioning. How do you want to create your life?

You might want to check out the book "Thick Face, Black Heart". Haven't read it but think it answers your questions raised here. Just because agreeableness comes from the lower-self does not necessarily conclude that disagreeableness would be your higher-selfs expression. What you want is self-esteem, especially self-assertiveness. For that check out Nathaniel Brandens work and do the 32 week sentence-stem completion program. In my personal experience it has been invaluable to check my hidden beliefs and unquestioned assumptions that led me to think that overly agreeable behaviour would be the best way of going about relating to other people. If in contact with other people agreeablness tends to be your default behaviour, try and just not act on the first few urges to do or say a certain thing. It will be a little awkward to just stand there but eventually some different, deeper demeanor will present itself. And that is not disagreeableness.

How do you go about relating to other people nowadays? I get that you can't be talking about god or consciousness all the time, but does your spirituality affect your behaviour in ordinary situations? Did that real-estate woman notice something about you? It probably just reveals me having put you on too much of a pedestal, but this encounter you described struck me as rather... ordinary.

This was an exciting read. I am glad you seem to be finding real clarity about what you want to do with your life. My suggestion would be not to think too much in terms of existing career paths, but think more outside the box. Life purpose is very much about crafting your own niche in life, not to just follow existing paths. I really resonated with when you said "life coach for children". I'd love to bring my kids to someone who is an expert on child psychology and self-esteem in children. Where a child therapists deals with getting over suffering, you could take the more positive approach and teach them self-actualization, maybe chip in some spirituality, be a mentor and friend of sorts. Endless possibilities and virtually no limit on how deep you can go with this. Do the LPC if you haven't already. Cheers

Your Life Path Number is 3 Your Life Path Number represents the path you should take through life and the talents and skills you have to make your journey a rewarding one. Your Life Path will allow you to be creative and comfortable with yourself. You will approach life with a bottomless well of optimism. Your imagination will inspire you to create, and in time you will come to inspire others. top Your Life Destiny Number is 5 Your Destiny Number sheds light on those things you must accomplish in your life to be fulfilled. A 5 Destiny number indicates you will move through life on a stream of change. It is your destiny to explore the limits of your personal freedom and promote free will for all. You will encounter change throughout your life, and where many would see this as instability you will embrace it as the coming of new opportunities. top Your Soul Number is 9 Your Soul Number describes your deepest desires and dreams and the person you truly want to be. You are the essence of compassion and love for your fellow man as well as the universe. You desire to create harmony, peace and beauty for all of us. Your compassion will often lead you to sacrifice you own needs to address those of others. While this sacrifice may tear at you some, your soul's need to heal others will over-rule any concern you have for yourself. top Your Personality Number is 5 Your Personality Number reveals the "external you"--the personality traits others will know you by. 5 personalities are bright and witty. They thrive on change and a variety of experience. 5s are risk takers. Chance invigorates them. The 5 personality's prime directive is to explore and expand their personal freedom. They are liberal by nature. 5s love to explore the physical world and expand the realm of their sensuality. 5s have a youthful personality that many will find irresistible. top Your Maturity Number is 8 Your Maturity Number reveals the person you will come to be--your true self. Those with an 8 as their Maturity Number will find rewards through their accomplishments. Their early lives will be spent learning how to apply power without becoming dictatorial and finding a balance between the material and spiritual world. As you mature you will be called upon more and more often to lead others. If you learn to apply authority without becoming tyrannical you may well be thought of as one of the world's great leaders in your later years. top Your Balance Number is 6 As long as your life is on an even or uplifting keel balance numbers are relatively dormant. However, in those times when your life is out of order your Balance Number can become central to resolving the turmoil you are experiencing. Your Balance Number reflects the traits you need to bring to the forefront in order the get through difficult periods with the least amount of damage or time wasted on negative influences. A 6 Balance Number suggests you are a key part of the problem and must take responsibility for your role. Do not allow yourself to be overly comforted by others. To do so will give you a false sense of justice and a stage on which to wallow. You need to not just act, but act responsibly and fairly. top The 4 Pinnacles Pinnacles represent moments in your life in which you realize current goals and learn some of life's lessons. If you are at the beginning of a Pinnacle, then they can be used as a predictive tool to assist in managing your future. Your first Pinnacle begins at birth and last until around the age of 27. Your Second Pinnacle last through the next 9 year and the Third Pinnacle last for 9 years after the Second Pinnacle has passed. Your Fourth Pinnacle picks up where the Third Pinnacle ends and last throughout the rest of your life top Your First Pinnacle Number is 11 While an 11 Pinnacle will be traversed by most as a 2 Pinnacle, for those exploring metaphysical and spiritual issues this will be time of profound development. Those living life on the level of an 11 will find their intuitive powers are at their apex. This will be a time when you are called to inspire, lead and bring joy to those around you and possibly all of humankind. top Your Second Pinnacle Number is 5 A number 5 Pinnacle is a time of change. This is period in which you will cast off restraints and develop your personal freedom. You will learn to be flexible and adaptable, to hold your ground and not run from the changes which confront you. A number 5 Pinnacle is a time of change. This is period in which you will cast off restraints and develop your personal freedom. You will learn to be flexible and adaptable, to hold your ground and not run from the changes which confront you. top Your Third Pinnacle Number is 7 A 7 Pinnacle marks a time for study, self-discovery and spiritual development. Your focus on the inner-self will bring out the loner in you. If your 7 is a First Pinnacle you will probably have to deal with a feeling of alienation. A 7 in the Second or Third Pinnacle demarks a time for further spiritual exploration and refinement of your understanding of yourself. As Fourth Pinnacle, the 7 denotes yet more time exploring your inner-self and the sharing of your wisdom with others. top Your Fourth Pinnacle Number is 8 An 8 Pinnacle is a time in which you will learn to apply power and authority in an effective way. In this period you should master the basic skills to become a good leader: organization, management and hopefully the application of justice for all. top The 4 Challenges Challenges denote personal weaknesses and temptations you will have to overcome and strengths you will have to develop to fully realize your goals. The 4 Challenges have the same time frame as the 4 Pinnacles. top Your First Challenge Number is 3 The Challenge the number 3 puts before you is to learn to speak truly from your heart. You will have to overcome the negative traits of the number 3, which include superficiality, hyperbole, egocentrism, gossiping and disorganization. top Your Second Challenge Number is 6 A 6 Challenge marks a period in which you will learn to balance the needs of your family with your own. You will learn that true nurturing can only come from your heart. Your idealistic views of marriage may be shaken some, but if you learn to temper them some you will be happier and more secure on the other side of this Challenge. top Your Third Challenge Number is 3 The Challenge the number 3 puts before you is to learn to speak truly from your heart. You will have to overcome the negative traits of the number 3, which include superficiality, hyperbole, egocentrism, gossiping and disorganization. top Your Fourth Challenge Number is 3 The Challenge the number 3 puts before you is to learn to speak truly from your heart. You will have to overcome the negative traits of the number 3, which include superficiality, hyperbole, egocentrism, gossiping and disorganization. top The 3 Cycles Cycles occur in 28 year periods. The First Cycle last from birth through your 28th year and is called your Formative or Seed Cycle. The Second Cycle--your Productive or Fruit Cycle--begins at age 29 and last through your 56th year. The Third Cycle, your Harvest Cycle, begins with the coming of your 57th year and last throughout the rest of your life. Your Cycle Numbers tell you the lessons you must learn and goals you must meet to stay on your Life's Path and achieve your true destiny. top Your First Cycle Number is 7 A 7 Cycle denotes a time of analysis and exploring life's deeper meanings. Your need to devote most of your intellectual energies to introspection may well stress your relationships with others, but they should survive. Your knowledge of life's meaning will increase dramatically. You may well be called upon to share your wisdom with others. If a 7 appears in your Third Cycle, this will be a time of quiet, spiritual development. People will seek you out for your wisdom. top Your Second Cycle Number is 4 This is a time for you to put things in order. You will address many of life's practical concerns during this period. Discipline, order and a willingness to work hard are your greatest allies during this Cycle. top Your Third Cycle Number is 1 A 1 Cycle indicates a time of action and development. If your First Cycle number is a 1, you are gaining independence and confidence. There may be times when you feel alienated from those around you. A 1 in the Second Cycle reflects a time when you will be confident, determined and able to lead others. A Third Cycle 1 indicates a time in which you will be independent and dynamic. You will be very independent and self-discovery will be a major preoccupation. top Your Karmic Lesson Number(s) are/is 4 6 7 Karmic Lesson numbers reveal areas in which we need to grow. To become more complete, we need to give extra attention to these areas in this lifetime. If one of your 5 core numbers is the same as a Karmic Lesson Number the significance of the Karmic Lesson Number is reduced. top A 4 Karmic Lesson Number is indicative of a need for direction in life. Although you may feel somewhat confused about why you are here, work to find your true path through this life. top A 6 Karmic Lesson Number denotes an inability or reluctance to make commitments. Even when you do commit yourself to something it may be your nature to hold back any true passion for the commitment or relationship. Over time you might do well to slowly allow your passions to express themselves and put your heart into your commitments and relationships. top A 7 Karmic Lesson Number signifies you may be neglecting your innate talents. Whether it is a lack of will or fear of failure, it appears you are not devoting enough time and energy to honing those talents that are core to your being. You know what you are best at, so embrace it. top Your Karmic Debt Number(s) are/is 14 Karmic Debt Numbers signify past abuses of your talents that you must make amends for. Like all of us, you have made many choices and taken many actions in your lives. Some of those choices and actions have been mistakes. Your past errors must be addressed, so you can use your Karmic Debt Numbers to identify exactly what type of mistakes you have made in the past and how you can atone for them. top A 14 Karmic Debt Number indicates that you have abused your right to freedom. Possibly you increased you freedom to act at the costs of others, or you exercised your free will in ways that abused your own spirit (e.g., drug use). The solution for you is to find a true path to freedom that does not harm you or others around you. top Your Lucky Number is 4 Your Personal Lucky Number does not change. This number will be lucky for you your entire life. Your luck derived from this number will be strongest when you are addressing events and issues related to the general meaning of the number. Lucky Numbers should not be relied on to constantly produce positive results, or make impulsive, high risk gambles. They simply mean that where they appear you have an edge. How large an edge is impossible to determine, but seems to increase with the number of occurrences your Lucky Number is be associated with a given event or issue. Those with a Personal Lucky Number 4 will find their luck derived from 4 strongest when the issue or event concerns the building of new things or maintaining established traditions. Your 4 may come in handy if the stability of your finances or romance is in jeopardy. The luck of a 4 may prove beneficial when trying to provide a stable environment in which a project or person can grow. top Your Signature Number is a 8 Signature numbers are based on how you sign your name. Your signature carries the power and the faults of one of the base 9 numbers. You may actually want to sign different documents with different signatures to reap the benefit of a particular number. For instance, if you are signing an agreement of partnership you might want to alter your signature to reflect the powers of the number 2. The signature you entered is an 8. Use of an 8 signature is definitely to your advantage when you are in the role of boss. top Your Birthday Number is 4 This number is most influential between your 28th and 56th year. While it is not the most important number in your profile, it does have an effect on your Life's Path and Destiny. You need stability and order to be happy. You are pragmatic and reliable, disciplined, honest and fair. You can be relied on to get any job done. top Your Personal Year Number is 5 This number tells you what is happening in your life this year. This number should be used to help you avoid setbacks and focus your energies on those areas of your life where you are most likely to achieve your goals. You are in a year of change. This is a good time to move in new directions, take a few risks. A 5 year is also a time when your curiosity is at its zenith. Make time to sate your inquisitiveness, travel, and explore interests which you have never made time for before. top Your Personal Month Number is 5 This number tells you what is happening in your life this month. Use this number in the same way you would your Personal year number, but apply it only to the current month. This is a good month in which to embrace change, take a few risks, and explore new directions in your life. top Your Foundation Letter is L Having an L Foundation Letter denotes a conservative approach to projects and ventures. You may be slow to act in the face of change. Sometimes this will be a detriment and at others it will be the proper approach. top Your End Letter is S Having an S End Letter identifies someone is able to see a project or venture through to the end. Their ideal role would be peacemaker. They must be careful not to act without thought, or they could do harm to their endeavors. ******* I resonated partly with mine, some parts I must say did not feel quite right. It was an interesting read though. Glad it helped you. For now I won't be able to take any of this as written in stone, like the site seems to suggest.

I haven't tried shamanic breathing because I am worried about hyperventilation and potential brain damage. Did not do any extensive research though. Would like to hear from people who might know more. As for your problem I can't really give you any advice as I haven't tried it, but I think it is wise not to go beyond the point of strong bodily pain in any spiritual practice, at least in the beginning.

Nice post. By speaking the truth, the truth changes. By speaking the truth that is grounded in you being an asshole the possibility of transformation opens up. By keeping it in you resist being an asshole and will remain to be one. The inability to speak the truth comes from identification with some part that you perceive to be constant, that needs protection to survive. The more you let go of that, the more mindful you will be and the more excitement, aliveness and spontaneity you will experience in your life.

A piece on the madness of Mephisto. To me a piece on the madness of Enlightenment. The melodies during the middle part are sublime.