BlessedLion

The reason i didn't make the title "Most dating books suck" is because they don't. They typically point out major flaws that guys make in dating and help to get better results. At the same time, I've yet to see anyone who really "nails it" with a level of excellence and precision like a consciousness master like Ralston or Wilber would. And i get it, they have more important things to focus on. But, imagine Peter Ralston wrote a book on attraction and dating, it would be completely unlike anything you had ever seen and would likely be extremely powerful and effective. The closest i have seen to really contemplating the topic in a stage Yellow type of format is David DeAngelo. I recently saw a course of his on advanced dating techniques and it blew my mind the amount of research and integration he did. But still, i've really yet to find anyone get to the CORE of attraction. What IS attraction? How does it work? Why is it that way? Not even just in the sense of so you can get laid, but just for the passion of understanding such a complex topic. Like what is thing called attraction, that runs life itself and supports reproduction and why does it happen in this certain way? What makes some men so much more attractive than others? Not in some newbie 10 tips for dating way, but really getting at the foundation and workings of it. Also not some bland generic answer like status, height, looks, money- these don't build true attraction imo in any significant way, that's more of a survival response. And since i've found no one who goes that deep i am going to begin working on it myself. What actually is sexual attraction? How does one master attraction?

One issue i've come across on my Self Actualizing journey is that there is simply too many high quality perspectives and materials out there. Leo's book list is stacked with high quality thinkers whose books you could and should honestly read 3 times over, then i have my own book list and that's just the factual conceptual models and maps. Throw into that all the fiction, history, auto biographies, biographies and artistic poems or memoirs I want to read and it's literally hundreds of books. The thing about me is I am a VERY SLOW reader, with a physical book it can take me months to finish becuase i really procces and integrate what i am reading, almost to a fault. And i love reading, it's become one of my favorite activites, but my pace is so slow that i feel like i'm not going to get to all the information i want in a sufficient time. Right now i am studying sexuality and male/ female psycholgoy and attraction, books i want to read here are: The Req Queen Sperm Wars Double you dating Dating essentials for men Different The male brain The female brain The value of others Evolution 2.0 And a few others However, i've given myself a time zone of 3-4 months for this before moving back into consciousness work starting with Ralstons new book. Along with this study i am actually going out into the feild and observing it in action, going on dates being social etc, which takes time and energy. So like, if it takes me a month or two to finish a book you can see how this is problematic. One solution i found is audiobooks, a 400 page book might be 12-14 hours in audio format. Therefore, if i set a timer for one hour a day on audio i am guaranteed to finish the book within 2 weeks. What i don't like about this is i feel like i don't really let the information land or proccess as much. What has been your experience with this? Do you have a preference? Can you still get as much from audio versus physical? Thanks!

What are the best ways to have the clearest and sharpest mind possible? A few things i thought of Heavy metal detox Great and consistent sleep Focus deep work blocks , no distractions Excercise No caffeine, alcohol, porn, scrolling as it scatters the mind and nervous system Walks and nature time Solititude and staying away from Drama Healhty whole foods, brain foods Anything else?

never forget that Stephen Hawking got laid. Jokes aside, regarding the scandenavian/Euro women, i've been noticing on netflix tons of these movies and shows (Cocks (dutch), Alpha Males (spain), The year i started masturbating (sweden), Dudes (germany) that are just making an absolute mockery of men and masculinity and framing men as completely useless and clownlike with the equality of genders today. The women make more money men, the men have trouble making decisions and have serious insecurity around their masculinity. I think it points to a larger pattern and the changing times. I just find it really interesting watching these European shows and movies and how brutally they portray men as these fumbling idiots who are basically rendered useless.

Great stuff, thank you all for your inputs

Yeah, this is so much healthier than scrolling. Even reading fiction or romance, reading in itself is super grounding

I've ran into this problem as well. That's why i am so excited and read so slow when Ralston drops a new masterpiece. Have you found anything really profound lately? I think audio books might be a good route for me, excluding masterpieces, because i do stop and think so much. My mind just tries to really GET what the author is saying but maybe to a fault

In terms of biology and science they aren't that old and still hold profound theories. I'm more interesting in understanding and integrating the foundation of all these things. I'll probably even read evolutionary books written in the 19th century just to have a deep grasp on the whole field

appreciate your take on this, i do think most can probably be enjoyed on audio. I also like to throw them on and play a mindless game like snake while sipping coffee, it makes it kinda fun and i still get the information. One book per week would be great. Also, the AI is great, i can get lots of clarity from having the AI explain the concepts to me. I'm doing that with Red Queen and it's been helpful

Bruh, i'm literally reading it right now and it's absolutely mind blowing. Only 6% in and it's beyond words quite literally. His best book yet so far imo. 4 pages per hour lol and i plan to re read it over and over

Absolutely, that's a good point. There is a category of books, I would say the high consciousness material like Wilber or Ralston where you are better off finishing one page per day (I admit, my pace with Ralston is like 5 pages per hour lol) because i just stare at the book contemplating how it is infinity. But it's hard to know where to draw that line. For example I'm listening on audio to the books "Anxious Generation" and "The Path Of Excellence" they are perfect for audio But Red Queen is quite complex evolutionary theory and even though i'd probably get 70-80% of it by audio, when i read i can stop are really grasp the models and theory. But then again maybe that is where something like the 80/20 rule can apply

I kinda like that this work is a bit nerdy. You can't say someone like Ken Wilber isn't a consciousness nerd

Leo I have to disagree with you recent post on work not creating fulfillment or happiness. I think that if someone is hinging their happiness on work or expecting it to fulfill them totally then yes, that is misguided. But work in itself, especially meaningful life purpose work can be very fulfilling and a source of pride and inspiration, solely for it's own sake. Also, all this is still rooted in selfishness, "how can my work and life purpose make me feel better" (self-focused) not "hey, this is valuable information that can actually help a lot of people, how can i share it in a powerful way?" (genuinely doing it for others). Sure there is still some selfish motive there but it's not the sole reason you are doing it. I think of Ralstons' book on Ending Suffering, he did it to help people end suffering because he has a unique and powerful perspective on that. He didn't need to do it for himself, or to keep busy, or to fulfill himself, he has mastered being happy with nothing. Lastly, if you already are happy and whole with nothing, why not play the game of life a bit? Is the expectation to just sit on the couch doing nothing because you can be happy there? Why not still be happy but do things, not because you think they will make you happy, but just for the challenge, fun, joy of it and yeah maybe you can even help people along the way.

i've noticed that too, it's why i have him on "ignore", was a great decision.

We love you Natasha! And you are definitely a positive influence here, i could imagine it might be tough as a female in this environment.

It's really wild. I've noticed this too, and had to miss out on a lot of potential sex and intimacy because i refuse to treat women poorly, or manipulate, or play games. I can't be anything but authentic and i'm proud of who i've built. I just can't do it anymore, i've done way too much work on myself and my Heart to just play these games. But, unfortunately it works! It's what actually works! Pretty much every beautiful female friend i know has some recent psycho ex who was verbally and sometimes physically abusive, addicted to drugs, cheating or a total mess and they stuck with them for years through it all. If that's what it takes to get lots of women, count me out.

be careful with podcasts too, they will slowly and subtly give you their mind virus and bias and some of them are not that wise and they just talk in circles like chris williamson, diary of a ceo, orion taraban, i think these are dangerous people to listen to too much

I have ran into this issue as well, it's almost like i became too intelligent for most of the content out there. Leo also set the bar pretty high. These days i feel like we need less content. My phone and it's stupid apps are really more like a weighted chain than genuine entertainment, not to mention all the brainwashing, emotional stimulation and low key soft porn that is pumped through these algoryhtms. I almost want to go back to another time, a time of reading books, contemplating, journaling, creating. Not more consumption. But if you do consume, I think it's better to just focus on one topic and find the best in the field and take their courses or read their books. I'm starting to find that bad advice is damaging and a lot of teachers simply don't reach a Tier 2/Integral level of work. I don't think YouTube videos hit very hard, unless it's like Leo's style of 3 hour videos but not many other creators do that, I'd almost rather re- listen to an old Actualized video than some dweeb who has no real grasp on what they are talking about, or just going in circles in a weak way. I would rather re-read a Ralston or Wilber book than watch Huberman, Alex Hormozi or Mark Manson give shallow and boring advice. Here are some quality teachers Consciousness Ralston Wilber Adyashanti Sex/Tantra David Deida Alexey Welsch Sexual Kung FU (Youtube) Habits/Discipline David Goggins Jocko Wilink I also find most movies and TV shows to be a waste of time and not very intelligent, creative, or entertaining. Unless they are really done well, like a good comedy or an artistic movie, but you have to shuffle through so much junk to find the truly inspiring and beautiful movies, esepecially these days. It feels more satisfying these days to just contemplate, listen to music, be present with people, or try to understand reality deeper in silence...Oh sweet silence, sweet boredom.

Hmm, strangely i am leaning towards respect. Maybe i feel like love is just a given- but i think as a man having a womans deep respect is more valuable than love because sometimes love is founded on nothing of value.

Never understood how people do like 30-50 takes for one video, to me that is nuts and way too performative

It's quite beautiful in that sense

I think this is why so many women go through a phase of dating toxic "bad boy" type guys who just string them along for an emotional rollercoaster that they know is bad for them but they go on because it is exciting. Quite similar to drug addicts these women are addicted to the emotional stimulation and invalidation these men make them feel. I see it time and time again

For sure, I think Sweden in general is a very Stage Green society so that makes sense. What would crush it in Los Angeles would likely fail hard in Stockholm, timeless principles aside. Also, I've heard the dating culture and male/female dynamics are different

I think out of everything i studied his material is the most satisfying and engaging, he integrates evolutionary psychology and subconscious communication in a very powerful way.

you have to really understand what he's getting at when he says something like that. Without DeAngelo's foundation a lot of shit he says sounds crazy. Basically he is going after people pleasing behavior, being too agreeable and quick to appease. There is power in that. It communicates something subconsciously But i also see where he overdoes it, and trying to follow his blueprint can turn you into a bit of an asshole