Gili Trawangan

I like it! Solid post.

@Rilles it's good that you're thinking for yourself - and I agree with your main points - but there's no need to leave or to get so upset. We just have to know when to drop everyone and anyone off the pedestal and be okay with whatever others are going through. When I see this charade of "I'm more awake than anyone else" on the forum - and it's not just Leo who does it - what I see is dukkha, to use a Buddhist term. It's suffering, it's clinging to a position. It's ego. And that's ok, I have those moments too, clinging just happens. If we're lucky, it is recognized and peace arises. If not, we keep debating on the forum and telling everyone how 'I know God and you don't' It's a wonderful play, just enjoy it

Yes. But really, no.

That's what the search for enlightenment is about. Just keep your mind open to the possibility, no need to believe anyone, just remain open-minded.

Gratitude is a recognition of truth. You have chosen to be exactly where and how you are, but the illusion of separation often brings about fear and other negative emotions, rooted in ignorance. Gratitude is a return to the truth, a dispelling of the illusion that there are any problems. It's Love.

@Leo Gura You missed my point. God, the concept and idea of God, is to be transcended just like any position. Infinity has no position. The words simply don't matter. What transpires from the OP's post is attachment to the concept of God. Hence this claiming that people like Rupert Spira are full of shit. When it's obvious that the people who don't use the word God are often talking about the same unspeakable infinite. So yeah, what I say to the OP is: go beyond the concept of God, Reality cannot be captured by concepts.

Go beyond God. Go beyond all concepts.

Not what you expected?

For fun.

I was hopeless as a teenager. It felt like every guy I knew had more opportunities than me. They probably did. In my twenties I went through a party phase and began having a little bit of success, but always with the aid of alcohol. In other words, I was still hopeless because nothing would happen without that context. It was only after 30 that I started to consciously try to learn. And I devoted a lot of time to it, always by myself, eventually became quite good at it. Nowadays I don't care much about "game" anymore, it's out of my system for the most part. But the skill is there if I ever feel the need. To answer your question, it's a skill. Some learn it naturally, without thinking about it, whereas others need to dive into it and learn the skill set by practicing a lot. I think those who never get good are simply not going about it in the right way. If success in this area doesn't come naturally to you, you need to want it so badly that you'll do whatever it takes, you'll go through painful rejection after painful rejection and keep honing that skill and building your confidence. Persistence, passion, drive, resourcefulness, these are essential ingredients. Without them, you are less likely to succeed.

"What do you mean by God?" is the answer that comes to mind.

First thought is that one-size-fits-all is potentially more damaging. Why can't there be both? There are men who look for and thrive on long-term relationships. There are those who seek casual sex. And those who seek solitude. Why shouldn't people just do what they're drawn to? As long as they're not hurting anyone. What we tend to see in the world is diversity. And it's all the more fun because of it.

Obviously this. I don't even know who he is, but any message that doesn't come from a place of love is rooted in ignorance.

It's Neo Advaita, it's new, because spiritual traditions have always had the wisdom of acknowledging that there is ignorance. Ignorance being the belief in being a separate individual. And it was recognised by all spiritual traditions that there is a pathless path to remove that ignorance. The removal of that ignorance is called enlightenment. But this new kind of Advaita, very recent historically, simply doesn't acknowledge that there's a pathless path, it doesn't admit the paradox of the unreal individual walking it, and it bludgeons everyone with the message that there's nothing to be done. However, when you look at the life story of each neo advaitan, there's always seeking there, usually for many years. I don't know, it's just kind of silly. But funny too. A part of me always smiles with advaita bears. Ultimately, the neo advaitan message isn't likely to contribute to the removal of ignorance, whereas spiritual practice is.

I'm just glad I didn't come across neo-advaita while I was seeking. It's the kind of communication that is fun to listen to when you've already grasped the Absolute, but brutal to those who are still seeking. The neo-advaitans would say that the message is uncompromising, but after a while they just sound like the advaita bear. There's no heart to it. Anyway, that's my own personal judgment, nothing else. Someone post the advaita bear video, please

"I don't have any friends", cheeky tone and a grin, then play around with it or simply change the subject.

It's also a moment when the ego completely falls away and there's no sense of self. It's just so quick that most don't notice. It's a taste of the infinite nondual nature of reality.

It's neither high consciousness nor low consciousness, what's with all the labeling and demonization of the other "side"? It's extremely simple, if you're not happy with your dating prospects at the moment and you want to fulfill some desires in that area of your life, you can try pickup. Maybe you'll like it, maybe you won't, maybe it works for you and maybe it doesn't. If you're happy just the way you are and learning pickup feels off to you, don't do it. But judging those who do it - or judging those who don't do it - is just that - judgement. It doesn't hold up. People are different, and what will be will be.

I've often wondered about that myself. But I have seen accounts of people who, aside from having a seemingly individual soul experience, also recognise that all is One and that there's no separation whatsoever. They still report having had an experience with other entities, whilst recognising that those entities are not "other", which I find very interesting. But yeah, a lot of people don't realize Oneness, probably because they're not ready.

Now you're changing the subject. I never said I have it hard in dating, I really don't. In fact, I'm very lucky when it comes to dating, or rather I could say that I've made my own luck. I was talking about a very specific topic, and explaining why, from a man's perspective, simply "being kind and generous" has a twist to it. I think I've already explained why.

First of all, yes I acknowledge that. Secondly, your response is a good example of the entitlement I was referring to.

Gestures of kindness and generosity are fine, but they should come out of the guy's own volition and feeling, NOT because they are expected. When women feel they are entitled to getting something material out of me, I'm adamant about not giving it to them. On the other hand, when we click and I sense that money is not even entering her mind, that's when usually I grab the check without thinking twice about it. I've made the mistake of paying because that was expected, and I remember instances when the girl wouldn't even acknowledge it. No thank you, just an obnoxious entitlement. Those women get nothing from me, and I don't apologize for it.

The fact that you remember these stories specifically is an indication that you're not doing enough to make things happen. You should be creating so many opportunities that you end up forgetting missed chances. Maybe that's what the universe is trying to tell you.

For me, it's some of the ones that were mentioned by others: Alcohol. Parties and fun and socialization. Sex and seduction. Long-term and short-term traveling.

First of all, it's not that women get repulsed. It's that some women are not attracted to you. That's fine. Self-judgment doesn't help either... a lot of that is a story in your head. Second, and most importantly, to wrap your head around this you need to embrace the paradox of personal development: you are perfect the way you are AND there's always room for improvement. So you love yourself as you are right now, at all times, and you also improve on any so-called imperfections that you feel are holding you back.