Bill W

@KMB4222 Makes sense actually. If you are going to let something go, have something ready to take it's place. Perhaps this is similar as to when they say you can drop one addiction but pick up another right away to take it's place. Therefore try to have a "better" behaviour or addiction to hand or we would probably default to one that is similarly dysfunctional (in the long run). I'm cutting & pasting your replies here onto a separate document for me to look at during the week, that's how useful I've found this topic.

@KMB4222 Thanks for that. Totally agree with all you said, especially about being realistic about the degree of letting go that can be achieved. Yes! This is EXACTLY what I thought to myself about 8 months ago shortly after I had a rock bottom and I decided to quit alcohol and drugs that were not prescribed for me. I took time off work sick for about the first time ever and slowly began to rebuild. I surrendered. I admitted defeat. I LET GO (to a degree at least) my old plan, my crazy ways of trying to cope with life. I knew I had to find a different way. I then experienced moments during the day when I thought to myself "Hmmmm, so this is what a bit of peace of mind feels like", and "this is what it feels like not to be walking around in a state of heightened anxiety at almost every waking moment". I actually felt like I'd ingested a tranquiliser without the grogginess. That's how it felt.

Very rare for me to seemingly argue against warmth, empathy, compassion etc. I almost feel uncomfortable doing so. I feel like your post is awesome Joseph from a human perspective. It's just not balanced with the reality of what we are doing on this forum. It's asking Leo to be what he is either not, or is, but cannot be here. Asking black to be white. @Joseph Maynor

Joseph I actually resonate with you a lot more than I do with Leo (generally speaking) - I'd have you as my mentor ahead of him, so keep that in mind here if you can. Just asking some questions here. Devil's advocate. Tyranny of the "shoulds" as Albert Ellis would say, although I think it was Karen Horney originally. I'm as much into practicing and working on my compassion as most, but this is not a place where Leo has to show sympathy for certain things. I think it's unhealthy if people are posting on here with any kind of expectation Leo will come in and dispatch some sympathy. He might do it every now and then, but we can't cling to that. Who is tearing who down? Are people feeling torn down? That's an emotion sending a message. Work on the real reasons for that. Leo is not the reason. Perhaps, I guess that's true other acceptance which a great thing to strive for, but on a teaching forum where the message given is often blunt and to the point. If Leo took everyone as they come nothing would get done here in my opinion. I would imagine most people are here to affect change in themselves (I think?). Would do people expect on here? I want certain people in my life to take me as I come perhaps, but not Leo, let him have his say on me if he chooses. I don't need to accept it, or feel hurt about it. This is not the Samaritans. Leo is not Carl Rogers. This is not a client-centred place. Again, what the real reason for someone feeling dirty, immoral, or stupid on here? Is it Leo that is the reason? You are going to be a life coach, what will you tell your clients if they say Joe Bloggs from down the road made me feel dirty, immoral, or stupid? Would you tell them that Joe Bloggs needs to be more compassionate and tender? Or would you advise your client to move to a place where all is compassionate and tender? Or would you go to work on their belief system? Their thinking habits? Their sensitivities? You would help them grow I am sure. You can't depend on another person for your peace of mind, it's nuts.

@KMB4222 Thank you. Your posts on this thread have resonated with me totally. I've started going through some of your old topics and posts. I note you liked the Osho book "Trust". I like Osho, and his book "The Buddha Said" is one of the best books I've ever read. Based on the end paragraph of my post here do you think the Osho book "Trust" might be of interest to me? Your topic on taking notes instead of action is the predicament I find myself in right now actually. I also found the book Letting Go by David Hawkings to be inspirational. I appreciate my idea of letting go might be very different to yours, and my goals very different to yours. I just love your posts here and your attitude. You come across really humble and open-minded. My journey at the moment has led me to the point that there is little point in trying to acquire things right now (even though my obsessive/addictive nature continues to try). I'm holding too much crap. Loads of stuff needs to be let go. I think I'll only go as far as my ability to let go. Perhaps not as radical as you describe in your original post here. To begin with I am working on letting go of such things as; blame, anger, resentment, punishment, arrogance, being correct, taking things personally, avoidance, pride and entitlement. Or perhaps letting go of the ego (as I understand the ego). I also think letting go will be a lifetime activity, day in, day out for me.

@KMB4222 I love this thread of yours. If I could sum u my personal developments goals in two words it would be letting go. It might be that I am thinking of something different to you, but there are, at the minimum some similarities. I know you mention letting go of techniques and teachings, but was there any teaching that really resonated with you before you let all teachings go temporarily? If that makes sense? Did anything help you achieve this state? Also do you know what @SriBhagwanYogi is talking about?

I was about to contribute to this thread and I will, but can you please explain this comment to me? Just a little. I can't work out what you mean. Tried Googling it but wasn't sure. I've bolded the part I am referring to. Thanks.

@Truth Addict We have opposing views on this issue, but I really respect your humility. I don't see much sign of you taking things too personally which is a trait I am working on myself.

Or maybe Leo doesn't mind because he knows it will lead to a culling. He is polishing the ban hammer.

The longer this thread goes on, the longer the next person who wants to start a similar thread has to wait ? Leo will end up having to invest in software that can spot these threads instantly and as soon as the topic is opened it is locked ?????

@DrewNows That's devilry

Yeh and I was thinking, if members get threads locked and they need support they can use PM facility surely to strike up some conversation? Admittedly that leaves them with less input but it's better than nothing. Also, members can start another thread that meets expectations as the Mod or Leo usually give a reason for locking a thread.

I agree with how many threads get locked. They get locked because the Mods or Leo think they need to be locked. I think Mods should carry on as they are. If less threads now get locked it will be a shame, as I think they have the balance right. I just hope they don't lock less threads because of threads like this.

Respect. Don't see much of this on the forum. Shows strength of character.

Hey, I just watched the 10min clip on centering prayer. I can't remember the thread you posted it on. I think today or yesterday. You posted 3 of them. I absolutely loved it. I actually read a book by Thomas Keating recently. It was him being interviewed by a recovered alcoholic. Divine therapy and addiction. Brilliant read. I think I'm going to really throw myself into centering prayer. It makes so much sense to me.

We do apply these faculties all the time, for better or worse. The person who starts the thread uses reason, logic, and conscience and so does the mod or Leo who then locks it. When there is a clash, the Mods/Leo reserve the right to lock up. Our job is to start debate, share stuff and their job is all of that plus the monitoring. Anyway, the person can actually start another thread but try to fit it more in line with what is expected.

I'm not saying it's a great tactic to do that and I might not like it done to me but can you honestly say that? This sentence is an example of concrete thinking. I'm here to break free from my concrete thinking and stay more in "not knowing mind". I doubt you really think a teacher can NEVER be a good teacher if he says a certain thing? You say that it will be locked out of fear. We all suffer from fear, all of us, every single one I reckon, but I doubt very much fear is a factor in thread locking. This is an assumption on your part. You probably have more fear about this thread than the mods! If you are honest? I'm not fighting with you. You obviously feel strongly that things are being unduly censored.

@How to be wise Thanks for this thread, it's a good one. I once looked at a Byron Katie video and didn't take to it, but seeing you on this forum and some of what others have said, makes me want to check her out again. I don't care for all this enlightenment talk and I don't want to try psychedelics. I'm looking for something practical to help me manage the ego and negative emotional states. A teacher like Byron Katie is possibly someone I should pay attention to. I think perhaps teachers with a very simple message get overlooked as we are all perhaps chasing something more complicated for some unknown reason. I'd be amazed if someone reaches the levels of emotional mastery you refer to by aged 20. Life still has so much to throw at you, but I can't dismiss what you are saying, not for a second. Good on you. Hope to see you posting still. Well done on your progress.

Moderators are also the teachers to a degree. Leo has said this place isn't just some place with free speech. It's a school here and sometimes we have to be put in the naughty corner. That's why we are here, to better ourselves. Edit: I know I said mods are just as wise/unwise as the rest of us, but they still the teachers, in a designated role

This will be locked up soon so thought I'd get in now. Got no beef with you and I don't suck up to moderators as I don't care for them either way, they are just as wise and unwise as the rest of the us, but they do have a job to do and I've not seen an interesting thread get locked. All the threads I've seen get locked are required to be locked, with the key thrown away. It's for our own good. This forum has to be above the average forum in terms of quality or what's the point in being here. I know quality can be subjective, but it doesn't take much to see that virtually all locked threads are not for this place, they are for the 95% of the internet. Standards here are higher and they need to be.

I can see why Leo is getting fucked off. This should be in the mental health forum if anywhere. Edit. Just annoyed at the sloppy use of the term autism. It can be a big disability for some.

Any Alien that gets close enough to Earth for us to assess their mental constitution would probably be making a model for us and not vice versa. We are a species that is working toward making ourselves extinct. No one wants our model trust me.

No offense but I think it would not pass quality control. Leo says he will reduce low quality threads. I am not saying you are a low quality just the question might be. Not my decision. I could be wrong. How does this question aid anyone's self actualisation? How does my post on this thread help anyone? It doesn't perhaps, so I am a potential hypocrite here not even contributing to your question! If no moderator locks this thread i am the low quality In the thread!

If Leo finds this thread it will be terminated. It will be targeted for destruction. It will be locked for 100,000 years.

Good topic friend! I also can end up in this situation. However, I propose that YouTube is not the problem. Actually I speak for myself here and perhaps it will relate to you, or maybe not. YouTube is not my problem. If I banned YouTube my craving would present itself in another form. I would probably end up doing something equally time wasting. If I am spending too long on YouTube watching crap that is not legitimately good for my personal development, then I need to work out what I am avoiding. I also need to check my level of entitlement. Often doing these soul destroying activities such as binging on the internet and binging on food at the moment is me living in the world of entitlement and not in the world of gratitude. It is also me living in the world of instant gratification and away from the world of hard work, dedication, commitment and discipline. I'm not saying we can never have downtime, but we all know it's easy to take downtime to a whole new level. I need to work on skillful relaxation and skillful downtime. So for me, I can't blame YouTube for my inner problems. I am not accusing you of blaming YouTube. I speak for me only. Dumb, instant gratification, wasted time activity is an outer manifestation of an inner problem. Sometimes the problem is simply sloppy habits, other times it runs deeper, much deeper.