Druid420

Campaigner, apparently. Funny it says diplomat because I'm a libra and they're supposed to be diplomats.

Name: Druid420 Age: 27 Gender: Male Location: Norn Iron Occupation: Theoretical Physicist Marital Status: Dating Kids: No Hobbies: Appreciating/experiencing nature, mind alteration, socialising, understanding, skiing, football, everything adrenaline, enjoying the experience. I have led something of a confused existence, at least in my early years. I was born into a war torn country where racism was rife without any need for a differing skin tone. I was born into a rich family from a poor society and as such as was persecuted by my peers. I hated myself and my entire existence. I ended up running from my lands and exploring the world but my mind had become corrupted and everything tasted bitter. I became addicted to heroin and lived on the streets for a while. My only concern was to anaesthetise life for my existence was nothing but pain. My family began signing me into rehab facilities which followed very christian 12 step methods thats main objective seems to be trying to break you into such small pieces that maybe they can rebuild you. The glue of which I am made is much too strong for this and as such I did not break but only hated myself more and more and ever more desperately tried to numb my existence. I attempted suicide many times but found myself always waking up. Might I add that these were all very serious attempts performed with the upmost conviction. It was always even more depressing to find myself unsuccessful in my endeavours and cursing the world before I'd inevitably get sectioned for a few weeks. Nothing seemed to be going anywhere - it reached the point where I'd load a 0.8 gram hit into a syringe and I would hardly even notice the relief. I never stole or came by money dishonestly for the drugs, so I suffered countless cold turkey withdrawals - in hind site I reckon this time of constant withdrawal served to fortify my resolve in general. I feel very strong these days simply by knowing my conviction could tackle something so seductive. > Some side story - from my childhood I have experienced very strong ASMR and dream walking, in my early teen years I began to suffer depression and insomnia - in an effort to defeat the insomnia I took to meditation - very ad lib might I add, but very valuable. 12 months ago we went on a family holiday to Thailand. Things where okay - I was quite depressed and had also got a bad dose of travellers bug while in Dubai for one week before travelling onwards (my big sister is quite epileptic so we need to let her body clock adjust which is why we stopped there). I almost cancelled my onward travels to return home, I was feeling that bad. But my father convinced me to come to Thailand with everyone and if I was really feeling bad I could fly home from there, so I agreed. There was some family conflict regarding myself while we were in Thailand and I got EXTREMELY depressed and suicidal. I ventured out on a moped around the Island of Kooh Samui, where I found my teacher, Ajarn Panthep. He taught me about meditation which I grasped very quickly due to my unguided practices from my youth. He gave me a Sak Yant tattoo and told me some rules of which I should try to live (No alcohol and some things like that - basically be good to keep the blessing). This was my first awakening - I felt so good, like I could be anyone or do anything. I felt powerful. I kept to these for maybe 9 months - being Irish, not drinking over the Christmas period is just a big no no! haha Anyway to wrap things up - I continued my buddhist meditative practices and with in a form of 'self inquiry' - the way Ajarn put it to me was just to fully explore 'Who am I? What am I?' (Etc. I cut off my hand, I am still here and aware, Therefore I am not my hand.) Then when I got my hands on some DMT for the first time a couple of weeks ago everything got focused to a degree I could not even have possibly fathomed before. The whole truth to my self and the self was revealed. I died and was reborn several times. I have been a snake, a pigeon and a rock thus far. The experiences DMT have allowed me to realise are without ANY SHADOW of a doubt the most profound awareness I have ever experienced. I am now on a quest, for my own and my children's sake, along with anyone else who cares to listen, to fully understand these mysteries and integrate this knowledge with my life. I have considered myself strongly as atheist for a long long time, so there's a little internal conflict going on but I really see now that there is something valuable to be had from religions - however most these days have dressed the truth in their own agenda. It is my plan to document my experience as honestly and unbiased as possible for others who want to try and uncover and understand for themselves. Personal challenges I've overcome: Terribly depressed with a disgusting perception of body image Can get very excitable over things that seemed to make socialising difficult when I was younger . I still get over excited about many things (which is a great thing in itself) but I now more actively process these thoughts into digestible and more comprehensible lines so that others can grasp my angle. Was an IV user of heroin, taking 3.5g per day and sleeping in shop windows. Left school when I was 16. Now in university studying Theoretical Physics MSci. What I'm working on now: Working on enlightenment and implementation Working on digesting awoken thoughts into an easily comprehensible form for seekers. Working on improving my health & diet Working on graduating from University and pursuing a PhD.

I smoked about 0.4g over the course of a week. I didn't meet any elves or aliens, literally just me as energy. The most profound trip I had was off the back of a pipe I'd made my friend, he didn't really hit it that hard so I thought I'd get some mellow effects but it ripped me apart. I melted through the sofa and became just energy pulsating and then I came back and it was literally like being born. I was making sounds and moving strangely all over the room. The trip seemed to last a good 30mins. Since that trip I feel like I get everything. I know the whole point of life and I feel complete bliss. I've been active and out walking every day soaking everything in. I'm still processing everything. I feel like I might be crazy.

Are you agreeing or disagreeing or is it just an additional point? When I say the space between space I'm referring to an experience of it, not being metaphorical.

I have had several extremely profound breakthrough experiences but I have not experienced anything I could describe like meeting entities or a 'guide' or anything of the sort. If you have experienced this could you please try and recount/describe it here?

There is definitely much to understand! I'm not sure what you're trying to say.

I'm not sure it's beyond the realm of thought - perhaps of imagining, I don't know - but look at lots of spiritual paths offered - I feel now that much of them document how an awoken person might behave (religions love add ons though) and behaving as such will undoubtedly get you in a state where it will be easier to fall into the dance.

Of which everything is imprinted? The space between space?

I've found myself able to breakthrough on a low dose lately. I think that once you know where you're trying to go it's easier. Keep going for it - it can be a little terrifying but mentally prepare yourself and the rewards are fantastic. I am everything. I am also able to identify with my ego as I always have done, but I find that, right now anyway, I am able to easily dissociate from it.

Stubbed my toe badly this morning (blood everywhere!!) I took a deep breath proclaiming PUT TOH (like one-two for in-out breath). Then I burst into laughter because it was TOH - so I held my toe and laughed at it playfully - I was very amused. Then I thought where exactly am I perceiving this sensation of a stubbed toe and the harder I searched the less it became. Some might call the image graphic so it's hidden below.

Try having a friend or friends around for one of these trips, video/audio record the experience. I know what you mean, it can be very like a dream where the memory fades quickly.

@Serotoninluv What do you mean by whiteing out?

Trying this tonight Just smoked a pipe of NN-DMT so feeling pretty zen. Will report back Ended up not doing it as it had gotten quite late and I was not falling asleep quickly and have stuff to do this morning. Will experiment with it though.

I think perhaps someone who was not ready for enlightenment could reach it and not realise that they have. Therefore any implementation might be suppressed. Just a thought though, I don't know.

I have fallen asleep in a meditative posture a few times (admittedly not by intention most times!) But I have had very very vivid dream walking experiences every time. I had never connected the posture to the experience - giving more weight to being in a meditative state of mind. Very interesting. Thank you.

Mediation here is key. Once you develop your practice it can be implemented into more busy aspects of life but it must be developed first. Make yourself comfortable, position is quite irrelevant although I think left/right symmetry is important, close your eyes and relax. Simply follow your breath for now, notice the inbreathe and call it your inbreathe, release and follow the exhale and internally recognise and call it your out breathe. Notice the differences. Play on this for a while.

It's more like YOU ARE the source of the power and the ego is a toy you get to play with. Hell is a frame of mind, and this is heaven which is not the afterlife. Most actions you might perceive to be bad in this life are not, you are simply mistaken. The most evil bastards experience the same bliss as Mother Theresa in death. (Not to say there are NO fundamentally bad things) I don't think there is massive value on dwelling on the devil.

To be honest I don't know what enlightenment is, I don't know any more stuff than I did before I just feel such a deep sense of understanding of everything. I bunch of people came into my home last night. They were drunk and had gotten the wrong place. I woke, I got out of bed, they realised, I smiled, they left, I went back to sleep. I wasn't anxious angry or scared or anything I quite enjoyed the whole experience.

It has been 10 days since now. I'm waiting for it to stop. Interesting times.