Farnaby

@ajasatya I think I’ve actually noticed how love has become a choice and not something that lights up spontaneously in the beginning of a relationship. And this conflicts with a belief I have about how love should come easily without any effort. When I think about it being a choice my mind goes: “well, then you could actually decide to love anyone, there’s no special one then”. That’s probably my ego fighting against this reality.

@loub Thank you very much for your answer! I like long replies ? I feel most of what you point to regarding a deep and intimate relationship is present in our relationship. We accept each other, lots of respect, almost never try to control each other, speak honestly about our feelings, etc. You’re right about the importance of telling her about my thoughts of falling out of love. When I first felt this I tried to rationalize it in my head, distract myself with work, gaming and weed, but it was only a temporary fix. So now I have decided to be completely honest with her and I have told her a couple of times when I’m feeling that way. I was afraid she might leave me or start falling out of love too, but it hasn’t happened and even if it may happen, I feel it’s necessary to not hide something as important as this from her. As you say, I often see that the relationship we’re building is actually a pretty healthy one and that this may very well be healthy love and not what romantic relationships are about. However, this thought still appears pretty often and it’s followed by these thoughts: - “Am I fooling myself, trying to convince myself because I’m scared to end the relationship?” - “If I have to work/make an effort to connect with her doesn’t that mean that I’m not in love anymore?” - “Even if romantic relationships are a myth, if I’m so often in doubt, there must be some truth to this thought”. It’s like I don’t know if I should trust my thoughts or not. Of course when they appear in the middle of something intimate, like sex, it gets awkward and I feel disconnected. I’ve actually read the book and found it really interesting, thanks! Thank you for taking your time ?

If there’s some sport you enjoy doing, I would pick that up as a habit. However, these thing are usually more deeply rooted and when our body starts looking better we often find another reason to not accept ourselves. That’s why I suggest working on the insecurities through therapy, meditation and self-inquiry. Welcome the sensations that arise when you see your body, when you think about it, when you compare it, when someone makes a comment related to body image. Whenever this insecurity gets triggered it’s a good opportunity to do this “exercise”. Practice sending love to the part of you that rejects your body image (it is there for a reason) and after that send love to your body. This may feel forced at first and the part that rejects your body will probably get triggered and dismiss that love. So if this happens, get to know this part better and ask how it may actually have protected you. Keep doing it, it will take time and commitment. Ultimately, through self inquiry you can explore experientally who is the I that doesn’t like my body? And don’t forget that it’s normal to feel how you do in a neurotic society. We all have insecurities. Good luck!

Hi everyone! I noticed that Leo’s ideas are very similar (if not the same) as those that solipsist defend. The problem I see with solipsism is it can’t be proven or unproven, just like most religious ideas. Am I missing something?

@here-now Nice video! The only problem I see is if he really 100% believed what he’s preaching, why eat, why wear clothes or a clock? Also, if all is consciousness how come each persons experience is different? Biologically there are certainly differences, for example between a human being and a mosquito. That’s one example of the limit of one form (the human skin) and the beginning of another form (the mosquito). Of course everything we experience is within our consciousness, but that doesn’t mean there’s no outside world that is needed for us to perceive anything.

@Dylan Page It’s funny you talk about League of Legends because I’ve noticed glimpses of that state while playing since I’m practicing more mindfulness. During those states it’s as if you can go meta and see the bigger picture of the game, predicting which decisions are more likely to be successful. Of course the game is so fast-paced that you would need lots and lots of practice to be able to stay in that state during the whole game. But IME the flow state is something you can definitely tap into and develop.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve always had a pretty open mind and been a skeptic even in regards to scientific claims. Especially when it comes to things like psychology, feelings, health (i.e I think conventional medicine is too limited). What I have trouble with is believing something that no one has been able to prove. You say we can affect matter with our minds. Why can’t you show me some proof of this claim?

Well, if you make a certain claim about the nature of reality, you should provide proof. It’s funny how it’s always the same with these things: 1) People make a counter intuitive claim about the nature of reality. 2) When asked for proof, they can’t provide any and start blaming/making fun of/being condescendent towards the one asking for proof. 3) Ultimately they start dismissing science as a whole and say their claims can’t be proven through that paradigm. But it’s OK, we’re free to believe anything we want.

Matter is made of particles. Yes, I have studied the scientific method. Well, the scientific method isn’t perfect and is indeed limited but it’s the most accurate we have, so in that sense it’s easier to believe what many scientific studies claim than other claims. If we shouldn’t believe scientists, then we could as well start believing anything we want (such as “the earth is flat”, magic exists, you can live off water exclusively, etc.). What I’m asking for is quite straightforward: if it’s true that we are imagining everything, that would mean that we can somehow affect the outer world with our minds. If that was true, why has no one been able to prove things like levitation, telepathy, telekinesis, magic?

Hi! What are your thoughts on secondhand embarassment? Do you think it always has to do with some shadow aspect or personal insecurity? For example, my brother is a person who loves to draw attention on to himself, to the point where many people feel kind of embarassed when they are around him in public. Could this embarassment also be just a sensation that a personal boundary (i.e not liking to feel observed by others while he is doing something embarassing) is being neglected by these kind of people? I see how this triggers my own insecurity of being judged when I’m around him. But since other people also feel this way when they’re around him couldn’t it be that it’s normal to feel embarassed when a close person is making a bit of a fool of themselves?

By “exist” I mean that there is a physical reality to it. It’s present as matter in this Universe. When someone claims people don’t exist I understand that he’s implying that I’m imagining everyone around me and that there’s no physical reality to that. As if my mind was making everything up. As I said this is a claim like a religious claim, it can’t be proven nor unproven. It’s like believing in unicorns, IMO. When I hear the sentence “my mind” I think of my subjectivity, my consciousness which is limited. I don’t know where it starts or ends, but I certainly don’t believe I’m imagining everything. If there weren’t atoms in the Universe, my brain wouldn’t be able to perceive anything.

I think we actually don’t disagree. What I believe is that the universe is made out of atoms. That includes my body and everything else. So the frontier between one (my body) and the other (everything else) may be an illusion. But even if inside-outside is an illusion, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t some atoms relating to each other in some way and being perceived by my brain and senses, forming the image of let’s say a chair. What I mean is for me the chair exists, even if the form I perceive is an interpretation of my brain.

I would say our skin. Of course everything is connected and the limits are blurry and everything affects each other. But that doesn’t prove that the chair I’m sitting on isn’t made up of matter that exists.

@remember That’s the problem. There is no way to find out if it’s all just an illusion or if it isn’t. Everything (direct experience, science, culture, language, physical pain, etc.) suggests that it’s less likely to be an illusion, so why believe in the most unlikely option? Has anyone ever proven that it’s all an illusion? As far as I know there’s much more proof of an outer world existing and being filtered and perceived by us (and plants, animals, etc.).

Thank you for your detailed answers! Until now, my direct experience always has been from my point of view. When I say my POV I don’t think of my ego as something real. I mean the consciousness that I have direct access to and that consciousness could very well just be a fragment of an infinite consciousness but that infinity is not something in my direct experience. When someone tells me other people and everything I perceive as being outside of myself doesn’t really exist, it is a claim that can’t be proven nor disproven. Kind of like saying: after you die, you go to heaven/hell, reincarnate, etc. What I could have direct experience of if I had the right tools would be that there is matter/atoms as well as emptiness/void. These atoms interact and my brain is capable of interpreting this stimulation and transform it into the forms I perceive. So in that sense I see how every appearance is an illusion. What I don’t see is how everything doesn’t exist outside of my mind, as if there was no outside world, no other minds, nothing that exists beyond my mind. When someone dies, the life of those of us who didn’t die continues. That, for me, is enough proof of a world that exists independently of one’s own mind. Sure, for that person it possibly doesn’t exist anymore (or maybe it does, we don’t know that), but for the rest of us it does. Anyways, I really appreciate that you took your time to explain all of this stuff!

@tedens Can you explain this a bit further? @Inliytened1 Why believe that is Truth if it’s not in my direct experience and never was as far as I can remember. Sure I’ve had experiences of feeling how everything is connected and the line between one thing and another thing is illusion. But you seem to contradict yourself when you say I can’t see that from my perspective because it’s limited and right after that you say that as God I can confirm it. @ajasatya This distinction makes sense, thank you. But as much as I try to keep an open mind, what you define as Truth is not something I’ve experienced directly and therefore I can just understand it as a concept. What is that “thing” you are pointing to when you say it’s the source of every other manifestation? The universe? I’m sorry to be playing devil’s advocate but this topic really interests me ?

I’m a big believer in direct experience. And the idea of the external world not existing outside of my mind is not in my direct experience. I can see how everything is interpreted by my mind and thus subjective. But non existent, dreamt-up, etc., has never been my direct experience.

@AlwaysBeNice In that case I would personally seek a more holistic healer to see if it's indeed a kundalini awakening. Still, so much sleep deprivation is really unhealthy for the body and unsettling for the mind, so maybe medication is needed until he can sleep again. I'm not a medication fan at all and always try to avoid it if I can heal myself through other means, but there are some potential life threatening conditions where medication is necessary in the beginning stages of a treatment.

@khalifa I understand your lack of trust, but I would strongly advise to get your health checked and seek medical advice. You don’t have to do everything a doctor tells you too, but IMO having your health checked is important and would help you get some clues on what may be going on. Best case scenario: you’re fine on a physiological level and this will make it easier for you to relax. Worst case scenario: there’s a physiological problem that you wouldn’t be aware of without getting tested for it. You get advice on how you can deal with it and if it doesn’t convince you you can go for a second opinion or not follow the advice.

@Aeris I have the Arizer Air 2 and am very happy with it. If you’re looking for a desktop vaporizer, I can also recommend the E-Nano. Both are very efficient (the E-Nano probably a little more efficient), but I personally prefer the Arizer for it’s portability.

@Extreme Z7 In a logical sense it may sound like a contradiction. However, in my direct experience it works like @AlterEgo says. You attract into your life manifestations of your inner state. For example if you’re having negative thoughts or being judgemental towards yourself, it will manifest in your behavior and the odds of the vibe between you and other people turning “weird” are a lot higher than if your feeling grounded and at peace. In this sense, you could say that you create your own reality and things “outside” tend to reflect how you’re feeling inside. At least that’s what I’ve experienced which the term Law of Attraction could be a good description for.

@Nivsch Have you tried completely surrendering to your racing thoughts and the sensations that come with them? I used to be more neurotic than I am now and looking back, I usually engaged in an inner dialogue that could go on for a long time. You can actually choose not to engage in that thought loop, sit mindfully and don’t try to control anything. I know sometimes it feels as if you can’t choose and it’s only normal to not always be able to get out of thought loops. But it’s possible to train yourself out of this habit. Another thing that often works, especially when obsessive thoughts seem to not go away is writing everything down. You’ll probably find some common themes that can help you work on your fears later (obsessions and compulsions are usually deeply rooted in fear, that’s why surrendering is the most effective in my experience). Getting in touch with your body and the sensations you feel is very powerful too. Just observe and feel into them, without judging them and if you judge them that’s ok too, don’t try to control what you’re experiencing. I forgot to mention that the most important part is being compassionate and loving with yourself. Your symptoms have probably served an important purpose when you needed those coping mechanisms to adapt to the environment in which you grew up. I hope this can be somehow useful for you!

@Leo Gura I guess some delusions (those of dictators for example) are more detrimental to our species and even the whole planet (we have the recent example of the Amazonian rainforest) than other delusions.

@Leo Gura So in an absolute sense, if morals are relative projections of our own mind and Nazis aren’t bad and evil, the same could be said about Trump, Bolsonaro, Mao Ze Tung, etc. I can see how the moral compass is subjective and relative, but I think there are clearly people who have damaged the world and caused more suffering than others.

@Nahm I kind of get what you’re pointing too. But if we’re honest I think we all have had some negative thought/opinion about other people. If this is the case, then it isn’t necessarily delusional to suspect that someone else may be thinking something bad about us. Of course, I agree that more often than not people are not thinking about us at all or at least not as badly as we think when we’re paranoid. Another thing I’ve noticed is that other people can kind of sense how you’re feeling. So if you’re feeling paranoid and act a little weird they may think something is off, but maybe that’s just my own projection. @ActualizedDavid I would suggest getting in touch with your fears about other people’s judgements while sober. This helps a lot to reduce paranoia when high IME.